The hot water ran down her back smoothly, pooling around her feet and making her feel more relaxed than she had in a long time.  But behind it all was a tension she could feel bubbling beneath her cool surface.  As she lathered the shampoo into her hair she imagined Mulders fingers gently massaging her thick red locks and she involuntarily shivered.  She could all but feel his soft breath brushing against her neck and shoulders so she bent her head under the flowing water and rinsed the shampoo out eager to go out and feel it for real.

            Towelling her hair as dry as she could make it without turning it into an uncontrollable mass she slipped into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.  Looking down at her figure, hidden amongst the oversized clothes she sighed knowing that when she imagined herself going to Mulder she wasn't wearing Holiday Inn branded Gym clothes.

Come on Dana, it was just a kiss, she thought as she watched her reflection. Just a kiss from your best friend and work partner, what could possibly go wrong?

            But then the memories of the thunderstorm and the explosion mocked her.  Regardless she took a deep breath and reached up to curl her hair behind her ears as she moved towards the bedroom.  Opening the door fully she stepped through and stopped.

            He lay flat on the bed with his feet crossed over one another and his hands interlocked on his chest.  She stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed making his head loll in her direction.

"You asleep Mulder?" she said softly almost afraid to wake him.

            He mumbled something incomprehensible and she smiled.  But suddenly as he took a deep breath his throat contracted against the air and he choked himself awake as he started coughing.  Sitting up he covered his mouth as the spluttering continued and she rushed into the bathroom to get him a glass of water.

"Here, take this," she said as she handed it to him.

"Thanks," he stammered.

            Taking a sip he calmed down enough to breathe easier.  She took the glass off him and put it on the bed stand.  Turning to look at him she saw his eyes were watering and he was having trouble breathing.  She reached for the clearway inhaler and wet to fill it with hot water.

"Here Mulder, breath into this," she said holding it in front of his suspicious eyes.

"What is it?"

"It's an inhaler, it'll help your throat to clear.  You took in a lot of smoke tonight and it could cause a chest infection if you're not careful."

            He took the cup with the facemask attached to it and she instructed him to take some deep breaths.  As he sat against the headrest she circled the bed and picked up the phone.  She dialled quickly and turned to him to make sure he was still using the inhaler.

"AD Skinner, it's Agent Scully."

"Agent Scully? What's happened?" he said aware that it was close to midnight and she would only be ringing if there was a problem.

            He listened intently as Scully told him about the explosion, hearing the tiredness in her voice.  As she told him about Mulders injuries he shook his head and told her to contact the field office for new equipment in the morning.

"Do you want me send up some different Agents?"

"No sir, but one of us will be back in Washington tomorrow to collect some things.  We'll call in for a full report then."

"Okay Agent Scully, relax and try to get some rest, I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight sir," she said quietly as she hung up the phone.  Sitting there with her hand still holding the receiver into its cradle she thought of everything that had happened in the last 12 hours.

"You know what Mulder?"

"What?" he asked pulling the facemask away and leaving it on the nightstand he turned to face her fully, hearing the rhetorical tone in her voice he anticipated a profound comment.

"I can't decide whether the gods are with us or against us," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" she stalled not sure where her ramblings were taking her but needing to get the thoughts out of her head and into the air.  Even if she risked tainting whatever it was she could feel changing between them. "I mean we've been through so much but we've survived.  We live our lives trying to help others but there's nothing there to…help us."

"Do we need help?"

"Not help Mulder…I mean…" she struggled to find the right words to express the conflict she was feeling.

"What? What do you mean?" he urged her softly.

"I mean we seemed to finally be getting somewhere with this case and then the explosion…"

"They've done it to us before Scully," he scoffed then more seriously he added, "They've done worse."

"But it's not just the X-Files Mulder it's…our lives."

"Scully listen, you have to choose a path and see where it takes you, isn't that what life is? A series of paths and intersections?"

"I didn't choose this path Mulder," she said anger blinding her to the sting in his eyes.  "I seem to have had this path thrust upon me."

"So you regret joining the FBI?" he said softly unable to believe how much that simple question hurt.

"No…well…no I don't regret joining the FBI.  But I do regret letting it take over my life, letting it override any semblance of a real life I may have had before the X-Files."

"What kind of life, white picket fence? 2.3 kids…a husband?"

"I don't know Mulder, I'm just fed up."

            He didn't know how to reply to that, so he didn't.  He watched her, as she seemed to battle with some internal struggle.  Feeling his intense gaze on her she walked away from the bed and over to the window where her mind could race away from his scrutiny.  Thoughts that she had been harbouring for a long time seemed to raise its head after he kissed her.  Thoughts of where it might take them.  Thoughts of where it might leave them.  Thoughts of what could have been.  And as she tried to shake them off she became more and more resentful of the restraints that they have had to learn to live their lives under.

            Working on the X-files had left her with no opportunity to form any personal relationships.  Friendships had wavered as she lost touch with people and suddenly she found herself looking around only to find she was alone.  Except for Mulder.  Maybe that's what had driven them so close.  All they had was each other. 

            She glanced over her shoulder and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed his arms resting on his knees and he watched her cautiously from under his eyebrows.  With a sudden rush of sorrow she regretted her outburst and slowly crossed the room to him.  He stood to meet her not wanted to be at a disadvantage.

"I'm sorry Mulder."

"Sorry? For what…being honest?"

"You know what I mean.  Everything just seemed to happen so quickly today."

"I hope you're not talking about me kissing you.  I've been working up the nerve to do that for god only knows how long…you couldn't exactly say I was a quick mover."

"Not the kiss…well not only the kiss…"

"Look Scully," he placed his hand on her forearms and slid them down until he could grasp her hands.  "You are the most important person in my life.  You're my best friend, my partner…in almost every sense of the word and I wouldn't like to do anything to jeopardise the relationship we have."

            Holding her hands tighter he lifted them up against his chest and kissed the back of each of her fingers.

"But…" she said when she sensed his hesitation.

"But when I kissed you tonight it was such a relief to be able to gently touch my lips to yours, to feel yours move against mine…" As he spoke his words came out as faint whispers meant only for her, he moved his head lower and she watched his progression unable to move away.  "And now that I know how good it can feel…how good you feel…I need to do it again," he kissed her softly, his lips barely touching her cheek, "and again," this time his mouth moved over to her other cheek, "and again," catching her eyes, he hesitated over her lips and waited for her permission and she gave it to him by closing the small distance he had left and closing her mouth over his. 

Capturing his lower lip between her teeth she nipped it tenderly, savouring the shiver he emitted as his hands gripped her waist and pulled her closer to him.   All of a sudden she couldn't remember her reservations, her conflicting emotions put to rest with the simple sensation of his tongue pressing past her lips and exploring her mouth with an urgency she always imagined he would possess.  He breathed her name past his lips and she pulled away looking up at him with a carnal look of desire that he could only try to answer.

"Do you know-," she began but he put a finger against her mouth and hushed her.

"Scully, I know that what I want right now is standing right in front of me and I can only hope you want it too.  Whatever comes out of this…this kiss…and nothing more, will happen because it's meant to happen."  He paused hoping she wouldn't pull away from his touch or push him away altogether but instead all she did was move closer, resting her head on his chest and held him tightly until she heard him moan and she laughed a little. 

"I haven't even started yet Mulder," she said with her velvety voice, but when she looked up to him she saw the slight wince in his eyes she backed away and her expression turned to one of concern.

"Forget it Scully, it's nothing," he said reaching out for her again, but she batted his hands away.

"Your back?"

"It's fine Scully," he said trying to grab her again but she easily sidestepped his wandering hands and he couldn't turn quickly enough to catch her without sending a hot flash of pain up his spine.

"Mulder, let me see," she said pulling the t-shirt he wore up to get a better look at his back.  "Does this hurt?" she asked as she explored his back with her fingers and the jump matched with a loud yelp gave her all the answers she needed.

"Yeah Scully, that's the spot," he said laughing through the pain.

"Lie down, I got some more cortizone cream for it."

            He fell back onto the bed clutching his heart as she rummaged for the cream and was laughing lightly by the time she returned to his side.  She pushed his legs to make him roll over and knelt beside him as she spread the cream between her hands.

"Ready?"

"Mmmm hmm," he murmured, letting his eyes close over as her hands made contact with his skin.

            This time as her fingers worked into his back the nagging pain he felt paled in significance to the sensations she was stirring in him.  Instead of vaguely rubbing small circles into his lower back she worked her fingers in deeper paying attention to the parts that made him squirm hoping he was writhing with pleasure and not trying to get away from her exploring touches.

            As her fingers moved away from the medical probing to the touches of a tender lover he couldn't help but let out a soft moan.  She smiled in delight at the guttural sound coming from deep in his throat and traced her finger up to his shoulder blades where she felt his muscles tensing with anticipation. 

"Scully…" he moaned softly but when she ignored him and continued to lightly massage him he reached up and grabbed her hand half turning to face her.  "Scully, you have to stop."

"Why? Did I hurt you?"

"No but if you don't I wont be responsible for what I'll do."

"Oh Mulder don't you have any self-control?" she mocked as she poked his side making him wrench away from her as his whole body seemed to come alive after her penetrating touches.

"You'll see the control I have as soon as I can breath properly and move without pain coursing through my back."

            He turned some more so he was lying on his back and slowly pulled her down to him.  She lay on her side curled up against him, like they had done before and Scully smiled to herself knowing this was nothing like before.  She watched her fingers as they idly played with the soft downy hair on his chest and wondered why she hadn't touched it before, without medical reason.  She had seen Mulder in so many states from frozen to boiling, delirious to lucid, fully clothed to naked but none of it compared to the sight before her right now.  His eyes were half closed and while one hand rested on his stomach the other was holding her close as he drew small circles against her hip, subconsciously she thought, moving her t-shirt away from her sweats and every so often gently touching her skin. 

            Sighing against him she felt his grip on her tighten and his lips brush against her forehead.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?" he said quietly answering her with a whisper as if they were the only people left in the world.

"You are my best friend."

"I know Scully."

            They fell into an easy silence and Mulder reached up to the bedside light switch plunging the room into darkness.  Their breathing seemed to triple in volume when the darkness amplified their silence and Scully shuffled closer to him.

"Scully?" he said his voice heavy with need.

"Yeah?"

"You are my best friend."

"I know Mulder," she said and he could feel her smiling against his chest before she planted a soft kiss to it.

***

"What kind of system did you get set up?"

"We only had enough time for a regular timer that was supposed to go off when the key was put into the lock."

"What happened?"

"It went off when the lock was opened…when he turned the key."

"So what's the next plan?"

"We could always hit the holiday inn?"

"And give you another chance to fuck up?" he laughed harshly as he lit the cigarette.

"Well what do you suggest?"

"What ever happened to simple guns? Stray bullets?"

"We need to collect the tapes from the hospital and see if they know anything."

"We need to get rid of these fuckin' G-men and keep on going with the experiment.  It's working. Don't you see that? The boy is our proof."

"So just get rid of them?"

"Yeah.  Just get rid of them."

"What about the boy?"

"He's dying soon, but we've still got a few more tests to run."

"Shall we organise the kidnap?"

"Yes.  Jesus I hate working with the military," he said as he stalked away from the other man leaving in a trail of smoke as he exhaled.

** God Dammit, so much tension, so much angst…so many favourite chapters…okay this one is it…I think!!! **