Author's Note:
Ok I'm gonna make this brief, instead of my usual long self-gratifying rants! This is a survey quiz taken off the web so it is a real email survey. I have seen this idea in a few other places but I just couldn't resist the urge to do it! It's so much fun! I like all the Z characters so you won't see too much bashing of any one person; I can't help it however if, say, Link rags on Ganondweeb because obviously those characters are far from friends. This is meant as a funny, kawaii fic and nothing to hard on the mind. So read, review, and have fun!
Side Note:
I hope you guys like this and please don't report me! If you do feel the need to tattle, please also leave your name and address so I may go to your house and smack you in the head. 6_^
And The Survey Says...
By Jasmine
To: FiReHoTtReDhEaD@thisdesert.com
From: Sassy_Shadow_Lady@herPalace.com (Impa)
~*First of all*~
What time is it? - 8:43
~*Stupid stuff that takes up space*~
1. Name/Nicknames - Mistress.... Shadow.... Nanny.... Iron Bra..... Impy... Impish ((Princess please stop referring to me as such))...
2. Age - hasn't anyone ever told you not to ask a woman her age! TEN PUSH UPS NOW
3. Birthday - April 6th
~*Stuff and such*~
4. Crush - crush? How very childish... If you mean a type of affection akin to caring, then yes. If you mean squeezing someone with applied pressure, then no.
5. Does he/she like u? - I believe so. Unless he's lying... in that case I'd run him through with my sword ^.^
6. First b/f or g/f - I'd had liked to leave this in the past but it was.... Ganon-idiot. Shhh! Remember this is our little secret. If you tell anyone I will hunt you down like a dog understood?
7. First kiss - My my, aren't we nosy! ^^^ Again shhh!
8. First person u loved - Love is for the weak. I do not love.
~*Last person who..*~
9. Wrote u a note - the commander to ask me out on a 'duel' ^-^;;
10. Called u - The Princess just called me to fluff up her pillows. Excuse me while I suffocate -- I mean adjust her... I'm kidding if you can't tell. No really I am.
11. E~mailed u - Link to inquire if 'Aunt Flow' has visited me currently. The answer - yes so stay far away from Zelda's room, child. I will kill you, prophecy or no.
12. Told u they love ya - Again love is for the weak.... but since Ganon-tardmuffin is weak, draw your own conclusions from here. T_T
13. Was mean to u - No one is 'mean' to me, they know better.
14. Said sumthing nice about u - the commander called my 'sword techniques' beautiful
15. You saw a movie with - I had to go with Zelda to see 'Legally Blonde' ::Shudders and mutters 'pink'::
16. You went to the mall with - I chaperoned Zelda and Malon on their trip to the local mall. I am suffering from a Girl's Talk Overdose now.
17. Said they were gonna kill u ((don't ask)) - Many sword opponents have said this to me to try and scare me, it never works. The only time it did work was that one day I awoke Zelda from her nap and she told me she would murder me the next time I did so. Sheesh, someone's cranky no?
~*Have you ever...*~
18. Taken a picture of urself wid a milk mustache? - Of course not, how silly! Rauru, if you show those pictures to anyone I will thrash you one...
19. Said "I Love You" and didn't mean it? - I have never told anyone I love them so therefore this is impossible.
20. Gotten into a fight wid ur pet? - No, I have no pets to begin with. These questions are highly inapplicable... That stupid dog chased me around the market once when Link filled my pockets with meat without me knowing. -_- I am still mad about that.
21. Had a dream about something crazee and have it happen the next day? - Sheikah's do not dream. Unknown fact -- we do snore though.
22. Stalked someone? - Stalked? Well yes, that is a part of my battle technique.
23. Had a mud bath? - No, not on purpose anyway. There was that time Link... I'd rather not talk about that. T_T
24. Wished u were the opposite sex? - No, men are inferior beings... Link still calls me 'mister' sometimes and then I 'accidentally' smack him upside the head.
~*Assortment of stuff*~
25. How many ppl are on ur msn list? - Not many. I am not popular.
26. How many of those ppl are blocked? - Three. Ruto because she is well.... Ruto, Link because his emails all say the same thing "MAY I PLEASE SEE ZELDA!", and Rauru because his emails all say the same thing too "ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?!"
27. Are u bored? - No, I am never bored. I am in the relaxation stage of my meditation, harnessing my Chi.
28. Wut are u gonna do when ur done this? - Go check Zelda's room for any Fairy Boys, break up their kissing fest, and then polish my armor again.
29. Wut movie did u last see? - 'Legally Blonde' ::Cringe and convulse::
30. Wut song did u hear last? - 'Fighter' -- Christina Aguilera. WOO WOO! VOTE IT NUMBER ONE ON TRL! o.O What? Were you expecting Beethoven?
31. Wut was the last thing u ate? - Rice, water, and lean meat. A warrior does not pollute her body with toxins and fats... Or delicious, delicious ice cream... ::Starts to drool.::
32. Who do u plan on talkin to in the next 5, 10 minutes? - Zelda and unfortunately I bet Link
33. Wut was the last noise u heard? - Kissing sounds. Yes Link certainly is over.
34. Last party u went to? - Zelda's pool party. My new armor bathing suit rusted in the water however ;-;
~*Friends*~
35. Who laughs the weirdest? - Malon, its rather... horsey.
36. Who is the loudest? - That would be I. Especially when throwing out unwanted Forest Lads.
37. Quietist? - Saria... I wish Kaepora Gaebora was a little more 'quiet'. His speeches put me unconscious.
38. Who could be a model? - Zelda looks as gorgeous as her mother once did. Malon is very pretty in a 'wholesome' sort of way. Ganon is handsome in the 'ugly green skinned evil guy' sort of way.
39. Best athlete? - A tie between me and Nabooru.
40. Is the hottest? - The hottest? I do not know people's body temperatures, please elaborate.
~*Family*~
41. Do u intend to get married? - No, I am far too old for that and have no desire to. My life is here at the castle.
42. Wut will u name ur kids? - WHAT IS UP WITH YOU AND MARRIAGE AND KIDS? YOU MUST BE A CHAUVINIST MALE WHO THINKS I SHOULD BE BAREFOOT, PREGNANT, AND IN THE KITCHEN! THAT'S IT, A DUEL SIR!
~*Otha stuff*~
43. 3 best inside jokes -
1) I can do Malon one better; I have a very interesting blackmail picture of Zelda BEFORE she puts on her makeup. Now that's genius.
2) I got Link back for the 'meat incident' by loosening his saddle. Watching someone fall off a horse is funnier then I had thought.
3) Zelda and Malon dance around in their underwear and sing into their hairbrushes to Britney Spears. It's horrifying.
44. Wut kinda car do u want - Something fast and lethal like me. A black Spyder Eclipse.
45. Wuts ur fav. quote? - "Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once." -- William Shakespeare
46. Fav. stuffed animal? - Odd question. I believe my stuffed Wolfos I killed while scouting the Kokiri Forest.
47. How many e-mail addresses do u have? - Not many
48. Say something nice about the person that sent you this *cough cough* ((JJ)) - Malon is a wonderful girl with a great heart. She cares about everyone and has been a good friend to Zelda. She is a sweetheart and the only one of Zelda's friends I can tolerate. ^_^ End of mushy!
49. Wut is ur dream house? - A house is just that, a house, it does not matter where I might live... ALTHOUGH now that you mention it I would love a cabin in the wilderness.
50. If you could change back time, name one thing you would change - I would change the fact that I placed so much responsibility on such a young boy's shoulders... I would also change Zelda's dreadful bonnet type hat, what were we thinking?
51. Are you tired of this yet? - No, not tired so much as... annoyed. O_-
52. Are you thinking about someone? Who? - Yes, Link. He is a dead boy.
53. Anything else u wanna say? - If I happened to cut you with my armor bikini at the party, please seek out the doctor and get a tetanus shot.
~*One last question*~
54. Wut time is it now? - 8:55
~*Wait! one more..*~
55. Do u regret filling this out? - ::Is too busy chasing Link around the castle and yelling obscenities::
Next Target: Nabooru!
