The FREAKY STORY THAT'S GAY N WEIRD
By JP and SezZie
Draco: oi mudblood weres your precoius harry
Hermione: and why would you want to know? *snaps*
Draco:stupid cow
Hermione: you're the one that came up to me! and harry isn't my precious anything!
Draco:well i was just finding out so i could tease him cmon crabbe goyle
Hermione: where are you going *demanding voice* *malfoy turns around and raises an eyebrow and puts one hand on hip and just looks very cute in general*
Draco:why should you want to know out of all mudbloods
Hermione: because you're up to something. what are you going to do to harry?
Draco:well being my indepentent self i shall find him and savotage what ever i can get my hands on to do with him ofcourse
Hermione: well as his best friend i shall filter his visitors. besides he happens to be in our common room where you cant go, bvecause how are you supposed to know that our password is leonis immortalis. woops did i just say that?
Draco:you his best friend i dare that he would even think of you as a friend stupid mudblood oh and by the way he doesnt even like you as a girlfriend he fancies cho chang the kamono wearer MUAHAHAHA
Hermione: well i dont think of him as my boyfriend! i enshrine somebody else! *cheeks turn pink*
Draco:oooh well i see some kind of isopmetric triangle going on here
Hermione: but you said harry doesnt like me he likes that chinese zulu chong what evere her namer is besides i bet it makes you happy to be in the middle of that triangle! woops did i just say that?
Draco:oh gettin a bit jealous of irisistable harry *flutters eyelashes*
Hermione: OMG. I mean its great you didnt get what i meant and all but you have to be pretty thick not to have worked out from that that juxtaposed refernce i made to you before meant that i liked you but.............oh man i did it again i shouldnt have said that
Draco:oh well in that case i quite fancy your faboules legs*says in a flitatiously dangerous voice*
Hermione: O___O *eyes fall out of head*
Draco: boom boom *draco pops them back in her head*
Hermione: well lets go to moaning mirtles bathroom and press the buttons in the right spot huh
Draco: huh? huh? get what we mean here? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* i mean, like totally babe. lets elope to the bathroom!
in the bathroom
Hermione:oooh malfoy oh yeah baby dont stop oooh i know there is somthing wrong about this oh year cant let the bannanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa okay we must stop[ and make up some contraseptive drugs befor e something bad happens oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo baby no more virgin for me
Draco: what do you mean.........oooooooooooooooh oh yeah, yeah...........ooooh what do you mean bad? like? iooooooooooooooh yeah you know how i likwe it........... i meran what could possibly happen, periwinklwe? i meon..........ohohohohoo oh..............imean what coul;d haapen?
Hermione:well what would youmdo if i fell pregnant during our lovely intercourse
Draco: ooooooooooooooooh well.......id be a..ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo..........father, wouldt i? oooooooooooooo oh yeah.................we........................o o o o o o o o oh yeah O____O why'd you stop? *silence* didn't you come yet?
Hermione: no
Draco: arent i turning you on? man, you belong in a hospus
Hermione: *frozen* *as in, CANT MOVE*
Draco: O___O
MOaning mirtle:what is going on here oh isee can i join in
Hermione: NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY I FROZE DRACO YOU DOLT! A FREAKING GHOSt WANTS TO JOIN IN NOW! YOU SHOULDA PLAYED DEAD WITH ME! HOSPUS, HONESTLY!
Draco:F*** this mythical bullsh*t sheneva leaves here any ways
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh sexy baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you know when you sorta go over me like that myrtle your coldness sorta warms my hardness if ya get what i9 mean *wiggles eyebrows*
Hermione: oooooooooooooooh yeah assasinate the member, draco *smirks*
Myrtle: o__o she uses too many big words
Draco:hermione babewill you um will you go down on me
Hermione:no but um iguess theres always a first chance for everything*plunges down to the unknown aria*
Draco: man, im tied to the floor in a not so kinky way baby you're gettin me as hard as graphite i mean can you get any be - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh O O
~
Hermione: r u having an orgasm or do i have toexamine you furtherly
Draco: oh, baby...............im as good as gone i dont think i can handle this heat its as scrupulous as your sweet little handwriting
Hermione: you think my handwriting is sweet?
Draco: *blushes* ive been watching you *wiggles eyebrows*
Hermione:ohhhhhhhhhhh draco lets get married
Draco:ok
Hermione:but first lets do it a little more
Draco:ok
Hermione:ah hu ooooooooooooooo
harry:i thought id find you here but oph my god malfoy what are you making her do
Draco:oh im not doing anything potter we are in love
Hermione:yes and his dildo is huge and just what every girl needs to coplete her life
harry:ahh*faints*
Draco:o_o he fainted
Hermione: i had one of those but the wheels fell off
Draco: shuddup
Hermione: you know, draco, we can never be together
Draco: why not
Hermione: because you know that it is compulsory in all of these fanfictions that i have to follow that silly cliche and fall madly in love with harry, and forever hate your guts
Draco: yes, now you mention it. and i am stuck with being horribly mean to you. some times evn becoming a homo and running of with weasly! better than that other cliche........you nknow, me and ginny. but i'd rather you with weasly than with.........potter
two months later
Hermione: draco i thought id find you here i need to tell you somethin
Draco:what
Hermione: im.......pregnant.
Draco: o__o
Hermione: well?
Draco:well what?
Hermione:well theres sumthin else
Draco: what
Hermione: well it's just that...............
Draco: well…
Hermione: its sorta not your kid
Draco: but how do you no that it isnt
Hermione: because we females KNOW these things ok besides its a magical world i did a spell OK. Its… its Snape's iligitimate lovechild
Draco:you you you slept with my my favourite teacher and worst of all he hates you how did this happen
Hermione: draco, severus is a poor disturbed soul that cant get laid ok leave him alone he was desperate
Draco:but do we have to tell him it is his kid i mean cant we pretend
Hermione:no i mean how hard is it to miss that NOSE of his and eww that slimy hiar... do you think he ever washes it?
Draco:well we could say that the nose is a defect and there must be a spell for that hair i mean we can improvise cant we
Hermione: draco i know your secret ok ive read books and seen the signs... we all know that you're INFERTILE
Draco:way to state the obvious and can you please keep this a secret if you dont work out im going for parvati parvill
Hermione:*sobs* you mean i never MEANT ANYTHING to you? *sobs*
Draco:no no thats is not what i meant i DO LOVE YOU I DO promise but its just that well...
Hermione: *sniff* what?
Draco:well umm i also fancie her but i mean ur the firast on my list that has to be a complement
Hermione:*looks angry* i can see whats going on! *nope, no penguin* YOU DON'T WANT ME ANY MORE BECAUSE IM PREGGIE SO YOU CANT GET ANY NOW! Boys only think abouyt that I shoulda known how could I be so stupid………..i cant belive youre doing this to me
Draco:but the one thing i want more than anything is your love and to be father of your baby.
Hermione:*looks at draco with love*oh draco this is a side of you i have never seen b4 I will pull a few strings and yes you will be father of my baby oh how will I tell harry and forgodsake im only in 5th year ohdear ohdear.
Spongebob squarepants: 0___0 What? Its a natural function *scree!*
Draco: Er, wrong show mate
SSP: wooooooops *runs off screaming, bangs head on sunset* ow
Hermione: what da
Draco: *gets scary look on face* Yu-gi-oh!
Harry: hermione wot r u and draco doing together in here al by your selves?
Draco: BABY IF U GIVE IT TO ME, I'LL GIVE IT TO U
Harry: Er no thanks mate ill pass
Hermione:it want directed to youi it was directed to me
Harry: oh nah 'mione I reckon ur BOYFRIEND is cracking onto me'
Hermione: harryimpregnantpleasedontgetmad
Draco: 0___0;;
Harry: 0___0;; er, one more time in english pleaz
Hermione: harry im *pregnant* and please DONT get MAD
Harry: mione u do realize this screws the whole best-friends-fall-in-love-cliché don't you
Draco: SCREW THE CLICHE
Hermione: ditto
Harry: screw u, draco
Draco: would if i could
Harry: u do realise that makes you gay
Draco: if im gay then ur a drag queen
Harry: IF IM A DRAG QUEEN U R THE ELTON JOHN OF THE WIZARD WORLD
Random ppl: 0____0
Random person: what was that
*ppl some how appear where the 3 r even tho they were somewhere private but hey*
Hermione: i think draco and harry are only just coming to terms with their sexuality *smirks* i think they're coming out
Draco: damn u got me
Hermione: 0_____0
Draco:i was freakin joking u idiot everything is totally ruffuss okay he might b gay but that's not our buissness
Harry: Hermione I don't know what u girls do hey whatever floats your boat but us guys shower SEPERATELY
Draco: think if u say it loud enough it might come true huh we all know ur gay potter don't go into gay denial now ur already in wanker denial hey two could b baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad just altogether baaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd
Hermione: umm will we b kicked out of skewl
Draco: 4 wot
Hermione: making me priggie and also 4 having sex on skewl grounds
Draco: oh ok that's cool
Hermione: harry wanna come too we'll all get married and live together
Harry: ok
Random ppl: 0____0
*all three get expelled, go get married and live in a house with baby snape*
THE END
