Staring at the building before me, I wasn't quite sure how to react. I'd certainly wondered
what I would do if confronting the inhabitants, but now that I was here all speculation was
pretty much thrown out the window. The Tendo Dojo. Fear, excitement, loathing, all sorts of
emotions warred for dominance in the time it took to blink, and I most likely would have kept
standing there staring had Makoto not spoken. It took a moment for me to realize she was
speaking to me.

"Huh... what?" I asked, ever so eloquently.

"I asked if something was wrong," she repeated, a slight frown upon her face.

"Ahh… Um, nope. Just a little stunned to be here." I said, a nervous chuckle betraying my
conflicting emotions. Fortunately, Makoto didn't press, and we continued in, heading towards
the door. I briefly considered going around to the Dojo proper like the oft-ignored sign said,
but, as I had no intention of having my ass handed to me, I approached the front door of the
Household, and knocked twice.

Makoto's hand in mine, we waited momentarily, before Soun Tendo opened the door.
Surprised to be confronted by Akane's father as opposed to her oldest sister, I gaped, before
Makoto nudged me gently to say something.

"Ahh… Mr. Tendo? I'm Kyle. Your daughter asked me to stop by sometime and see about
some English tutoring?" I said, somewhat nervously.

"Oh. Akane said something about that. Please, come in, I'll go get my little girl." With that, he
disappeared, calling out for Akane. Makoto and I glanced at each other before we stepped into
the house.

It was readily apparent that, without Nabiki to bring in funds, the reserved house was even
more Spartan in appearance that I remember from the Anime and Manga. Fortunately, a week
from now everything should be somewhat back to normal. From a doorway to the left I heard
the gentle clatter of dishes, and assumed Kasumi was in the kitchen.

A moment later, Makoto yelped as I squeezed her hand painfully.

"Kyle! Makoto! I wanted to surprise you when you got here, so I decided to make you some
Cookies!" Akane said, emerging from the kitchen with a smoking tray.

"Akane, how thoughtful! You shouldn't have," Makoto said, eyeing the tray, but unaware of
the danger it truly represented.

"Hmm. Do you have a bag? Makoto and I just finished stuffing ourselves at the Uchan's, but
we could definitely use a snack for later," I said. At the Mention of Ukyo's place, Akane's smile
faltered, but grew again as Makoto reached out to take one. My grip tightened, and Makoto
glared at me as she picked the cookie up. Fortunately, something saved my wife from her
suicidal friendliness.

"Don't eat that!" a rather worried-looking redhead shouted, knocking the cookie out of
Makoto's hand. It arched towards a window, and, amazingly, landed in the mouth of a
surprised looking panda that had just opened the door.

"Pops... it was nice knowing ya." Ranma-chan said. The panda, it's eyes growing larger by the
minute, growled once, then began making elaborate choking gestures and gurgling noises as it
flailed about on the floor.

Makoto, having been forewarned about the curse, but not Akane's cooking (another curse
altogether) was unsure how to react, so she simply stared, as did I. Akane, however.

"Ranma, you jerk! Just because you can't appreciate fine cooking doesn't mean you have to
go spoil it for our guests! "

"Fine cooking?" Ranma-chan shouted, " Look at that. Your 'cookies' are eating through the
cookie sheet!" And they were. One fell to the floor, the sizzling remnants of the metal sheet
bubbling on the ground beside it. I noticed Makoto trying to discreetly wipe her hand on her
pants, a rather nervous grin on her face. The panda had stopped rolling around, but a sign
asking someone to call poison control wobbled slightly in the unconscious pandas limp paw.

"Ahh. Actually, it's okay. I've got some cookie dough back at my apartment. Maybe later we
can stop by there, and I'll make some?" Ranma, Makoto, and Akane blinked at me, and I
nervously took a step back, prepared to say more, when someone else came to the rescue.

"Oh! I didn't know we had guests over. I'll go make some tea."

As we all watched Kasumi disappear into the kitchen, I realized how appropriate those anime-
sweat drops were. Akane was the first to react, taking the now-hole-y cookie sheet into the
kitchen. Ranma, Makoto and I continued to stare as we heard what went on in there.

"I'll help you clean, big sister!"

"Oh, that's all right Akane. I'll get it."

"Then I'll make some tea! Here."

"That's fertilizer, Akane."

"Oh? My mistake. I guess I should put this away."

"What were you using that in, Akane?"

"Oh, this? Cookies. It smells nice, so I thought it would enhance the flavor."

"Drain cleaner does have a... unique odor."

"Drain cleaner? What was that doing in with the spices?"

"Akane, that's abrasive powder."

"Oh. And this?"

"Oh my, is that a Bio-hazard symbol?"

"Are you sure you don't need any help, Kasumi?"

"Yes, Akane, I'm fine. You should see what your friends want though, it's rude to ignore your
guests."

"Oh! Kyle and Makoto! I forgot. Thanks, Kasumi. Sorry about the mess."

Akane exited with a smile, briefly pausing to frown at Ranma. The three of us were simply
staring, Makoto continually rubbing her hand on her pants absently.

"Are you two okay?" Akane finally asked. Then she turned to Ranma, "What'd you do to them,
Ranma? They can't help with our English studies if you alienate them!"

"Do... huh?" Ranma responded. Wondering how to stop this situation from escalation, I
opened my mouth to say something, but Makoto beat me to it.

"We win! Sorry Akane, Ranma challenged us to a staring contest, and he just lost. Thanks for
your help!" I shot a questioning look at Makoto, my action mirrored by Ranma, while Akane
grinned at her fiancé.

"Heh. Guess Mr. Wonderful can't win everything, eh?" Ranma frowned at that, and opened her
mouth to say something, but Makoto's brief scowl made him close it again, slowly.

"So, would you two be willing to tutor Ranma and I? I know it's a sudden request, but Ranma
could use it, and it couldn't hurt to get a little help myself." I blinked at that, then shrugged.

"I've got no real problem with it. However, There's another person we'd be training with you
two."

"Oh?" Akane asked, frowning slightly.

"Hello? Ran-chan? Akane?" A voice called from outside. I grinned slightly to myself. The timing
here is great, when it isn't something dangerous or deadly.

After Ukyo'd joined us, I pointed at the door, hoping to get things going before an argument
broke out between the natives.

"If I'm going to tutor you,' I said, walking out the door, "We're going to do it at my place,
where I have plenty of stuff to use as… reference materials."

"Shouldn't we get our books?" Ukyo asked, frowning. I scoffed, turning to Makoto, with a sight
scowl on my face.

"Bah. English, not Engrish. I don't half-ass things if I can help it. Your books will help you read
English… maybe. Stick with me, and I'll have you speaking conversational English so well…
umm... it'll be... really... good." I finished lamely.

"Uh-huh." Ranma said, sounding unconvinced.

"Trust us." Makoto said, turning to flash them a smile I often used to disarm confrontational
people.

"You seem to have taken Ran-chan's curse in stride, Kyle-san," Ukyo finally said. Since we
were walking on the street, as opposed to hopping from rooftop to rooftop, she'd finally
decided to start a conversation.

"Hey, she's right! I don't remember telling you about it!" Ranma-chan said, suspicion in her
voice.

"Trust me when I say that little could surprise me here, information-wise."

"That... doesn't really answer much." Akane said, slowly.

"When we get back, Kyle and I will show you how we know. Though, you ought to be ready,
it's going to be a shock."

"Do you two practice magic?" Ranma asked, a hint of hope creeping into her voice.

"No… err... nothing that would benefit you, I'm afraid. But I suppose in a way we kind of do.
Makoto more than me, though." Ranma grunted at that, and I grinned, knowing I'd keep the
surprise a surprise after all. Finally, we rounded a corner, and I came face to face with…

"Akane! Pig-Tailed Girl! What deity smiles upon me so to bless me with your presence? And
yet, I see a third beauty has joined your humble group, no doubt on your way to declare your
love to me. The very heavens weep at your wrongful imprisonment by the fiend Saotome!"

"Great." Akane said, rolling her eyes.

"Huh?" Makoto asked, unsure of what to make of that.

"Why you stupid..." Ranma-chan started.

"What a loser." Ukyo said, though not sounding too surprised.

"Ehh... Excuse me..." I started, before suddenly finding myself looking down the length of a
bokken.

"And who would you be, low-born foreigner, to attempt walking so close to my three loves?"
Before I could stop myself I'd grabbed the bokken, while his head was turned skyward, and
snatched it out of his hand.

"Three loves?" I said, looking down at the bokken angrily. Grabbing it in both hands, I swiftly
brought it down across my knee, snapping it in two. Kuno stood gaping for a moment, unsure
how to handle the loss. Before he could squeeze out more of a response, I'd clipped him in the
side of the head with one peace, before tossing both into a nearby dumpster.

"Try hitting on my wife again, stick boy, and I'll run your ass over. Repeatedly." I turned, and
started walking again, my fists balled up in nervous rage. Fighting Kuno wasn't a bright idea
for someone of my limited skill, and I was certain he'd be out for my blood as soon as he
stopped staring out into space.

"You know, for someone with no Martial Arts skills, that wasn't very smart," Ranma said after
overcoming the shock at how fast Kuno had been disabled. Ukyo voiced an agreement, and I
shrugged, continuing towards my apartment, which was around the next corner. Akane and
Makoto kept quiet, and Ranma, after turning back to grin at Kuno, who was still standing there
frozen, shrugged, and followed.

Opening the door, I noticed Nabiki sitting at the computer and sighed, glad to know we
wouldn't be waking her up. Akane and Ranma, however, frowned upon seeing her, and Nabiki
quirked a brow at me as we all entered.

"Not very good at keeping a low profile, there, Kyle."

"What's she doing here?" Akane asked, stressing the 'she.'

"Yeah, you aren't... aren't..." Ranma trailed off as he managed to spot my Ranma wall scroll
and simply stared.

"Ran-chan? Wha... oooh. Where can I get one of those?"

I grinned and flipped my Futon into a couch, briefly ignoring my guests as I pushed it over
towards the computer.

"Everyone have a seat, and I'll start explaining," I said, pointing to the couch.

"I don't know, this is kind of… weird." Ukyo said, looking around and noticing a lot of things
she must have found unrecognizable.

Makoto pulled the folding chair out of the closet, and set it down, before sitting in it. Then she
looked at them, and shrugged.

"How about this, then? We'll start with a question and answer session, so you can ask
whatever questions you have on your mind. Does that sound reasonable?"

Akane blinked, glanced at Nabiki, then turned to Ranma. "I don't know." Ranma, however,
didn't bother sitting, and simply started asking questions. Pointing at the wall scroll, "What the
hell is that?" she asked.

"That is a wall scroll. My friend gave it to me for a favor." Ranma frowned at that, then
shouted "That's now what I meant!"

"It's you, as seen by the people of my world, where all that," I pointed at the door, " is a work
of fiction."

"What?" Akane asked, wide-eyed.

"It's like this; you're all characters in a story where he… we're from." Makoto said, looking for
any other Ranma things I had stashed around the apartment.

"And her?" Ukyo asked, pointing at Nabiki. The way she watched Makoto, however, told me
she'd come back to her slipup.

"I'm from here, too. Like I said. But you'll have to wait a week before you remember," Nabiki
said, from my desk chair.

"Riight… you have anything other than a poster of an animated me to prove it?"

"Of course! How else would I teach you proper English? Nabiki? The Ranma CDs, if you would,
disc one. Anyone want some Coke, or a glass of water? Oh! Before I forget." I walked into the
mini-kitchen, and got Ran the water for a moment, letting it heat. Finally, I filled a glass, and
handed it to Ranma-chan, pointing to the bathroom.

"You can change in there, there's a towel on the rack, if you want to dry up a bit."

"Ahh… thanks, I think." Ranma said, entering the bathroom. A moment later a restored
Ranma walked out, drying his hair in the towel I'd mentioned.

"Thanks. I wish I could get hot water that quickly more often."

"Eh, stop by anytime. I'll see about getting you a key so you can let yourself in when I'm not
here."

"Really? That'd be...well... great. But first you have to prove you are what you say you are."

"Sure, sure. Nabiki?" I said, pulling a 6-pack out of the fridge. Handing them out, I watched as
the three of them watched the opening in fascination.

"Is that…" Ukyo asked, ignoring the cold can in her hand entirely.

"My hair." Akane said, quietly.

"Hah! Look at pops!" Ranma said, laughing. "What's this?" He asked, holding up the Coke.

"Coke. See, you pull on the tab like this-"

"I know how to open it. I've never seen this drink before. Coke?"

"Ehh... without the 'u' on the end, there. One of the tricks of English."

Ranma tried again, and I nodded as he slowly said it, omitting the 'u' at the end. I nodded,
took a sip, and pointed at the screen with the top of the can. Ranma turned to see the opening
fight in the streets between him and his father. A moment later.

"Hey! They're speaking in English!" Akane cried, surprised.

"Does that surprise you? Not everyone can understand Japanese," Nabiki said, idly.

"Yeah, but the theme song was in Japanese," Ranma protested.

"Remind me in the future to show you what happened to Tenchi in regards to that." I
muttered.

"Huh? Tenchi?" Ukyo asked, confused.

"Another story." Makoto offered, watching as Akane and Ranma-chan sparred onscreen.

"Am I anywhere on here?" Ukyo asked, a couple minutes later, wincing as a table hit Ranma. I
shrugged, then moved over to take the mouse. Nabiki glanced at me, then sighed, scooting
over so I could use the keyboard as well. Closing the current movie, I searched for a moment,
before finding the Anime Music Video of Akane's 'Baka song' from the Calendar CD. Before
pressing play, however, I turned to them, grinning somewhat nervously.

"This is a bit... umm… 'harsh,' but it covers quite a few adventures of you all, so…"

I pressed play, wondering how Akane would handle hearing her singing, and seeing how often
Ranma got beat up. Akane grinned a little, the words obviously striking her as being accurate,
though she looked a little sad at some of her more violent outbursts. Ukyo looked somewhat
ashamed at the scene where she slapped Ranma for calling her cute, then scowled as he
bounced off her head. Ranma, however, sunk lower and lower into the couch, his face a mix of
surprise, outrage, shame, and humility.

"Fa-fast forward through this part! In fact, never play this again!" He cried at the end, where
he was wrapped up in a hospital bed. I stifled a laugh, then sighed.

"So! Any questions?"

"She," Akane said, pointing at Nabiki, " Was in those… but I don't remember her. It's just
been Kasumi and I, until Ranma arrived."

"Ah, right… about that. Umm, our theory is, basically, that the multiverse alters history to
avoid a paradox."

"Huh?" Ranma asked. I sighed.

"After a week, the universe kind of... re-writes itself, so the missing or added people are
somewhere in history."

"Oh."

"So where are you from?" Ukyo asked, looking at Makoto.

"Another Story." She said, quietly. I snorted slightly at the accidental reference to one of the
Sailor Moon SNES games.

"So how are you married to him?" Akane asked, glancing at me somewhat suspiciously.

"The re-write altered time, so we had married in the past. In the new memories, we were so
happy together, that, even with out 'real' memories, we just decided to keep going."

"Oh. That's... a unique way of doing it." Ukyo said, frowning.

"So what story are you." Akane started, trailing off as she spotted my Sailor Moon Figurines
besides Makoto's Bonsai Tree. She moved over and picked up the Sailor Jupiter, then looked
at Makoto, quirking a brow. "Is this..."

Makoto nodded, blushing slightly. I ducked into the kitchen for a quick snack, then turned,
only to find Ranma behind me.

"Ah! Something I can help you with?" I asked, surprised. He looked at the sink, then at me.

"How does this thing work?" I showed him, and watched as he felt the cool water quickly heat
up as he held his hand under the faucet. The look on his face was so ecstatic I worried he
might give me a hug or something. Thankfully, he nodded, shut the faucet off, and left,
sipping his Coke.

"So... anymore questions?" The three of them looked at the three of us, before Ranma spoke
up again.

"Are you going to use the… uhh... 'Ranma Anime' to teach us English?"

"Yeah. Is there a prob- oh. Oh! Good thinking." I said, remember Ryouga.

"Huh? But it's a good Idea!" Ranma said, frowning. I sighed, then waved him over. He took a
couple hesitant steps, and when he stood between Akane and I, I quietly mouthed "Ryouga."
He frowned, then blinked in surprise, before nodding.

"Well, how do you intend to..?" Ukyo asked, having caught my message to Ranma. I
shrugged, looking at my rack of DVDs. Sighing, I sad down on the chair Nabiki had just
vacated, before looking at my computer.

"Lets find out what you know, first, and then we'll work on what needs to be worked on." The
three of them nodded at that, and I brought up notepad so I could write down their strengths
and weaknesses.

I was about to ask them about their experience with the alphabet when a sudden flash
erupted from the back of the room, and we all turned to see Mara standing there, grinning.

"Ahh. Mara. Nice to see you alive and in one piece." Mara frowned at me, then shrugged.

"I suppose it's good that you're awake and all. Who are your... friends?" She asked, grinning
at Ranma. I turned, and noticed Ranma was in a rather serious-looking fighting stance, Akane
and Ukyo behind him, not quite ready to attack, but looking somewhat prepared.

"Ranma! She's not going to attack you!" I said, frowning.

"Are you kidding? She's got evil rolling off her in waves! The Old Freak would think twice
before groping her."

"Actually, if we're thinking of the same 'old freak,' then no, he didn't. And he's paying for it."
Mara grinned as she said that, then walked into the kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge,
before pulling out a Coke.

"So… where've you been?" I asked, wondering how long it would take Ranma to lighten up.

"Around. There's quite a bit of magic here on this world, and after all I wasted in your pathetic
reality, I had to spend a day recharging. Thankfully, an Oni showed me a good focal point of
negative energy. Who knew a guy could be so depressed, or lost, so easily."

I snorted at that, a quiet but noticeable chuckle from Nabiki letting me know she understood
as well.

"Well, these are my… um… pupils, I suppose."

"Ranma Saotome, of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. Don't try anything, or you'll
regret it."

Mara grinned at him, then glanced at me.

"Can I have some fun with him?" Ukyo and Akane both growled at that, and Mara's eyes
widened in surprised. "Taken, eh?"

"Say, Mara, could you give them the ability to speak English, like you did for Nabiki and I?"
Makoto asked, looking thoughtful. Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo all turned to stare at Makoto in
surprise, then somewhat pleadingly at Mara.

"Sorry, Kids. The place we came from it was no problem, but something here is blocking me
from doing a lot of things. It feels like back home, with wish-granting, only someone forgot to
turn the granting part on."

"You grant wishes?" Ranma asked, awe replacing the suspicion in his voice.

"Used to. Demoness First Class Mara of the Rival Relief Office, at your... well, hindrance, I
suppose."

"Demoness?" Akane asked, eyes growing wide.

"That's what I said. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a delusional fool who called me a
goddess, and now that I've regained my composure, I need to ensure he knows the truth."
Before she could disappear, however, I called out for her to wait. She turned to frown at me,
crossing her arms.

"Ahh, Do you know of any non-cursed wish-granting items around the area? I need to set a
couple things up before one week is up." She frowned, then shrugged.

"If I see anything like that, I'll try to remember you." Then she disappeared. I sighed, then
turned to Ranma and friends.

"She's not all that bad, once you get over her affiliation with hell and all. I think. Anyway. I
think that should conclude our introductions today. Tomorrow, if you still want my tutelage,
stop by. Umm... Ukyo, can we use your place? That way you can work, and learn. Or
something." Ukyo nodded, and I opened the door for them.

"Ahh... thanks for the Coke." Ukyo said, as she walked out the door.

"See you tomorrow, Ukyo."

"Thanks for the… umm... history lesson, I suppose." Akane said, walking out the door looking
somewhat confused.

"It's all good, Akane, I've got some other surprises you'd probably enjoy." Makoto quirked a
brow at me, and I shrugged, holding my hand out to stop Ranma.

"Huh?"

"One minute, Ranma. I need to talk to you about a couple things, and it'll be easier if you
catch up."

"Umm… okay. There were a couple things I wanted to ask you all, as well."

"I assumed as much. Have a seat," I said, closing the door.

After Ranma sat down, I plopped into my desk chair, then shrugged.

"Look, Ranma. I'm not trying to cause trouble, and I know why you aren't telling Akane about
Ryouga, but I think the best way to teach you English is letting you learn from what you
remember."

"But."

"Trust me, I don't want Akane to find out. You'll be in just as much hot water as Ryouga, for
hiding it so long, despite all the times you've all but said it to her face." Ranma gave a
humorless grunt, his arms crossed.

"So what do you intend to do? Cover her eyes?"

"No, I figure we'll watch up to the first episode where Ryouga is introduced. Then we can
switch to something else. See those?" I asked, pointing to my DVDs. He nodded, ad I
continued, "Those are all movies, and all the ones to the left are Anime. They also have both
English and Japanese, so I can use that to help you learn by comparison."

"And on the right?"

"American Movies. When you all've done a good job, I'll reward you with them, or something.
You'd enjoy Die Hard and The Matrix." Ranma blinked at that, and I shrugged. Not all the
Anime was dubbed right, but I could iron out those problems with a little work. With Nabiki
and Makoto also speaking both fluently, I was pretty sure the three of us could help the three
of them quickly. I glanced at Ranma, then quirked a brow, "you said you had questions?"

"Yeah. What's this going to cost, first off."

"Umm… good question. From you, maybe some Martial Arts lessons, or something. I could
always use help there." Ranma's quick nodding made me raise a brow. "Something wrong?"

"Well, you're right about needing the lessons, now that Kuno's going to be gunning for you.
You seem to have a little skill, nothing high, or really noticeable, but more than just an
average person."

"Heh. I took Tae Kwon Do in Junior High for a year or so… and a couple weeks of Kung Fu
before I moved to Denver."

"Riight. Well, it's not trained, but at least you have reflexes, though at the moment, you don't
seem to know how to use them. I'll find out more later." I nodded at that, then looked at the
clock on my desk.

"Anything else?"

"What are you going to charge Akane and Ukyo?"

"Food from Ukyo, probably. Akane... well. I doubt she has much money, and I know how
dangerous her cooking is. You've got her beat in Martial Arts. I'll have to think of something, I
suppose. Maybe use of the Dojo for training. I can work that out with Mr. Tendo or something,
though." I shrugged.

"I'll talk to Mr. Tendo for you. I don't know about Akane or Uuchan, but I'll be back."

"I'm sure you will."

After Ranma left, I sighed. Makoto came up behind he and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Something wrong?"

"Everything's nuts here. Lets home my apartment, at least, retains its 'island of stability'
atmosphere, if not its sanity."

"Or yours?"

"Feh, I'm already nuts. Screwing with Kuno like that. What the hell was I thinking?"

"About me."

"Too true. Glad he didn't expect this 'foreigner' to take action."

"If you two want to be like that," Nabiki said from behind us, " I'll be going out for a bit. Don't
break the... crossbars." With a chuckle, she shut the door, and I turned to look at Makoto,
'Like that?' dying on my lips as I realized she was only in her underwear.

"Huh?"

"You've a promise to keep. So don't keep me waiting."

"Ahh… right."