Appearing in the under-used apartment Makoto and I shared, I heard water
running in the shower, and sat down at the computer, waiting for her to
finish up. A knock at the door interrupted my AMV Marathon, and I opened
it, surprised to see...

"Boy! How could you disrespect your Father so?"

"...Mr. Saotome?" I asked, twitching.

"He's right, son. You're honor bound to marry Nabiki."

"Mr. Tendo?" I stared in disbelief, "but..."

"You know your father engaged you to Nabiki before you were born. Just
like Ranma and Akane!" Mr. Tendo said, looking to be on the verge of
crying.

"But..." I said, disbelieving, "my father's in another universe!"

"Now son, your father may have been flighty at times.." Mr. Saotome
started.

"Err.. not like that. He's pretty down-to-Earth but..." I said, quickly.
Mr. Tendo nodded, then froze. Turning I saw Makoto, staring in shock at
our visitors, wrapped only in a towel.

"Ahh..." I said, the only coherent thought I could form.

"HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON MY LITTLE GIRL!" Mr. Tendo roared.

"It's not what it looks like!" I yelled from my new position, behind the
counter. It was funny on a screen, but in your face, that was a
seriously intimidating move.

"Care to explain that, then?" Mr. Saotome said from beside me. Turning
to look at him, I frowned, then realized Makoto was in my lap, holding
onto me about as tightly as I was to her.

"Err..."

A new voice spoke up from the doorway, and I realized Nabiki had
arrived.

"Hey, Daddy. Is Kyle here?"

"He's inside, Nabiki." I heard Mr. Tendo reply, curtly. A moment later Makoto
and I looked up at Nabiki, who looked down at us with a small grin.

"Had I known you two'd be doing this, I'd have brought my camera."

"Hey, Nabiki. Have you seen Kyle and Makoto?" I heard Ranma ask. I poked
my head out from behind the counter, and waved. Makoto popped up a
moment later, blushing, and Ranma quirked a brow.

"Kyle and Makoto.. oh.... Maybe I'll come back..." Ranma said, slowly.
Then Mr. Saotome stood, and Ranma paled.

"And Pops!? I.. er... Bye." He said, backing up towards the door
quickly. Makoto jumped up.

"It's not what it looks like!" She cried. However, her towel, loosened
by her dash to hide, chose that moment to fall to her feet, and Ranma's
white face turned red. And then Akane walked in.

"Ranma! Why'd you... run..." Akane looked at Makoto, who furiously tried
to cover herself with her hands, the towel forgotten. Then she looked at
Ranma, who was pressed up against the wall, eyes shut tightly.

"It's not what it looks like!" He said, the plaster around him cracking
as he pushed himself into it harder.

"Trying to seduce another teacher, Ranma? Isn't Ms. Hinako enough?"

"Akane? What'd Ran-Chan do now?" Ukyo said, walking in the door. I
turned to Mr. Saotome, who was back to hiding on the floor, and sighed.
Stepping out from behind the counter, I picked up the towel Makoto had
lost and handed it to her, then looked at the two Fiancées of Ranma's.

"Actually, there's a pretty good explanation for all this..." I said,
hoping I could talk the situation down. Then the wall beside my door
exploded, and Shampoo walked in, Mr. Tendo and Nabiki quickly joining
Mr. Saotome behind the counter. Paling at the forming situation, I
quickly whispered to Makoto to transform.

"Why?" She asked, puzzled.

"RANMA!" Someone called from outside. Ranma, by now, had slouched over
in defeat, knowing the inevitable was about to take place. Makoto,
recognizing a Nerima Wrecking Crew buildup, ducked into the closet,
though I noticed Shampoo glare at her departing figure.

"Ranma being unfaithful to Shampoo?" She asked, turning to Ranma.

"Err... could we take this outside?" I asked, as Ryouga stopped in the
doorway. Everyone turned to me, like I'd grown a third eye, and I
crossed my arms, pointing at various things around my apartment.

"Irreplaceable, rare, expensive, expensive, irreplaceable..." I said.
The others continued to stare, and I moved over towards Nabiki, placing
my arm around her. "I'll sue." I said. Everyone shuffled outside, and I
grinned, then noticed Soun and Genma watching us with big smiles.

"Oh damn." I said, backing away from Nabiki.

"Way to go boy! I knew you had it in you!" Mr. Saotome said. The closet
door behind me opened, and Sailor Jupiter stepped out, just in time to
hear Mr. Tendo.

"Now that you've chosen between my daughter and that other girl, we'll
go to a temple and get you two married."

"WHAT!?"

"Err.. who are you?" Soun asked, confused. The Senshi of Lightning
growled.

"I'm that 'other girl.'"

"Ohh... I see.."

"Mako-Chan? Mr. Tendo? Outside?" I said. Turning around, I noticed Genma
poking at some of the electronics I'd pointed out as expensive and rare,
and growled. Before he could respond however, Jupiter spoke up.

"Wait one minute, Kyle. What'd he mean about you choosing?"

"I.. err.. you know..." I stumbled for words, and Nabiki slipped out the
door, my camcorder in her hand. Glaring at Genma, who'd returned to
cataloguing my most expensive Items, I spun, catching him with the back
of my foot, and launched him out my window. Cringing as the glass
shattered, I turned to the remaining two occupants, and sighed.

"Let's... go outside." I said, sounding resigned.

Outside, we joined Ranma and Friends, who'd been arguing since leaving.
Ryouga was being held back by Akane, who's hand was on his shoulder, but
that probably wouldn't last much longer.

"Now," Soun said, turning to us, "Kyle will marry Nabiki, and that's
that. You've already seen how she tried to seduce Ranma."

"WHAT?" Jupiter screamed, the other Fiancées echoing her. Ranma stepped
up beside me, and whispered:

"Your presence doesn't seem to be helping, 'sensei.'"

"Diffusing this particular situation would take a miracle," I said back to him.

"At least it can't get any worse," Ranma said, nonchalantly. His
clueless look was replaced with one of surprise as I buried my elbow in
his gut.

"How could you!" I shouted, before an ominous wind started to blow.
Turning around, Ranma and I saw Kuno and Mousse, glaring at us.

"Verily, I see the two practitioners of the Dark Arts now battle for my
loves. No doubt you seek to do despicable acts upon the bodies of those
who would, unchained, admit their love to me."

"That sucked Kuno, and I told you before, we don't practice. We're too
good to be in those early stages."

"Yeah... uhh.. what he said!" Ranma amended.

"Saotome, I've had enough or your thievery of my precious Shampoo,"
Mousse said quietly. Someone landed beside me, and I turned to see
Jupiter, her back to me and Ranma's, as the other Fiancées moved in on
her.

"I see you've enchanted another goddess, foul Magus!" Kuno said,
pointing his bokken at me.

"He has not!" Mr. Tendo interjected from behind a nearby trashcan, "he's
marrying Nabiki, and that's final!"

"How... How dare you string along women like this... You... You're no better
than Ranma!" Ryouga cried, his glare shifting from me to Ranma,
continually.

"Right... Me versus the buffoon and P-Chan, Ranma versus Mousse, the
buffoon and P-Chan, Makoto versus the Fiancée brigade," Cologne appeared
from a rooftop, and I sighed. Then groaned as I heard a demented cackle
from behind me.

Turning, I saw Happosai, his attention divided between staring at
Jupiter and the Fiancées, and glaring at me.

"I'll teach you to use my own school against its master!" Happosai
shouted at me, though he trailed off as his gaze fell upon Jupiter.
"Leg...." He said, a spot of drool escaping his goofy grin.

"You've pissed off the letch, too?" Ranma asked, from behind me. I
nodded, hoping he'd see it, before Cologne spoke up.

"Since you're already here, I wanted to let you two know that part of
your initiation means proving you can hold your own against-"

"No!" I shouted. Cutting her off, "there's no way in hell I'm fighting
you, too!"

"Well, actually, I was going to say Mousse here, but since you seem so
adamant about it, maybe I'll have both Mousse and Shampoo fight you two.
After all, it seems you two fight well as a team... and Son-in-law seems
willing to lend a hand."

"Oh.. well.. shit." I said, in English. Pulling out my commlink, I spoke
quickly: "SHODAN, get us out of here!"

"Negative. The transporter is currently disassembled for maintenance. You
signed off on it, remember?"

"Oh.. damn."

"We'll keep an eye on your situation and offer support when possible." I
hear Archer say, before a swirling bandanna cut the commlink in half.

Spinning, I glared at Ryouga, who returned it just as powerfully. I
crossed my arms, snapping my fingers in frustration, unable to find out
what they meant by support. As if summoned by the snap, a light
Turbolaser blast impacted nearby, turning the street into a roiling,
bubbling mess of molten asphalt.

"I see the wicked sorcerer has some small degree of skill..." Kuno said,
preparing to charge, "no matter! Your evil skills are no match for my
righteous blade! Have at you!"

And the fight commenced.

While Ranma and I dodged chain-laden weapons, Happo-daikarins, belts,
bandannas and bokkens, Jupiter was busy weaving in and out of spatulas,
bonbori, and flying fists. At first, it was relatively simple... all I
had to do was keep moving, and as long as I kept away from falling into
a pattern, I only had to block the few hits that would have landed.
Meanwhile Ranma batted away the firecrackers that Happosai threw, doing
something similar to my dodging.

"You've improved quite a bit, Kyle..." Ranma said, ducking under a
massive spiked ball.

"Yeah? Thanks, I think," I replied, twisting out of the path of an
incoming bokken.

"Bakusai Tenketsu!" Leaping as fast and as far as I could, I managed to
land beside Sailor Jupiter, who's fight had moved a bit away. Behind me,
the pavement exploded, and I heard Ranma start up his chestnut fist.

Happosai, who'd been blasted away from the explosion, suddenly found
himself the target of a barrage of Turbolaser blasts, And the telltale
sound of TIE-Fighters let me know that we had some air support.

Turning around, I ducked under an incoming Bonbori, and stared in
surprise at Shampoo.

"Great-Grandmother said attack, so Shampoo attack." I nodded, then leapt
back as she swung again. Feeling something behind me, I leapt, and
Kuno's bokken slashed through the space I'd previously occupied. Landing
again, Jupiter turned to me, and smiled.

"I forgive you, now.." Then she back flipped, miniature spatulas
embedding in the pavement where she'd stood.

"Thanks," I muttered, before wincing as a bandanna cut a shallow gash in
my arm. The cracked rib, while obviously almost fully healed at the
beginning of the fight, was still sore, and I winced as a Bokken strike
I'd started to roll with tagged it.

"Ha! Feel the heaven's vengeance, knave!"

A turbolaser blast caught the posing Kendoist, and when the glare died
down, a dog sat, a pile of clothes and a bokken lying nearby.

"Arf?"

"Thank you, Cantrell." I said, quietly, before feeling static build up
in the air. As I dodged another chain-mounted... thing, I glanced at
Makoto, who was in the middle of casting a Supreme Thunder.

Ranma dropped beside me, glancing at Kuno, who was trying to swing his
bokken with his teeth, before leveling his gaze with me.

"After this, we talk."

I shrugged, then leapt, Ranma in the other direction as a green and
black blast of Ki shot between us. A chain managed to wrap around my
foot, and I ate pavement, my breath knocked out of me. Ranma leapt in at
Ryouga, and began fighting in close, while Mousse prepared to fire more
weapons at me. Rolling To the side before I was impaled, I stood, and
leapt at Mousse, who had started to pull me in, but wasn't fast enough.

I landed a few feet away, and he launched another spiked ball at me,
which I leapt over, and continues, until I was behind him. Kicking the
chain attached to my foot, I managed to wrap the chain around his neck,
and stomped, pulling Mousse to the ground with a thud.

Before he could recover, I pulled his arms up and pinned them beneath my
legs, Grasping the chain around his neck and pulling tighter.

"Mousse!" Shampoo cried, running towards me, bonbori raised. Before she
could get within striking distance, though, a Sparkling Wide Pressure
caught her in the back, and she screamed as she convulsed, before
falling to the ground. A few streams of smoke rose from her, but she
appeared to be breathing, so I relaxed.

Mousse however, was livid, and he threw me off, rising to his feet with
newfound strength. Grabbing a hefty rock, I threw, and the missile
struck the blind martial artist in the back of the head, shattering.
Mousse fell beside Shampoo, and didn't move. Blinking, I moved over to
him, hoping he was okay. Reaching down, I felt a pulse, and saw that he
was breathing and sighed.

"Interesting..." someone said from right beside me. I screamed, and
threw a punch, which was stopped easily. Cologne looked at me, and I
cringed.

"Sorry, Just a little mid-fight jitters, or something," I said, quietly.

"Mid-fight? It looks to be over."

Looking around, I realized she was right. Ukyo lie smoking, much like
Shampoo, her spatula grasped in her hand. Looking closely, I could see
the discoloration electricity can cause, and looked at Shampoo, who's
clothes had burned away from her back. However, where I expected charred
flesh, I saw a pink burn. Apparently the magic of the attack had only
allowed the attack to shock the Amazon.

Kuno was growling at me from behind a Prone Akane, who seemed to have
been brained by Ukyo or Shampoo early on in the fight. Ryouga had
disappeared, and a nearby wall with a hole similar in size to the lost
boy answered the unspoken question 'where?' Whether he'd gotten lost
finding his way back, or been knocked out going through the concrete was
anyone's guess, and I wasn't in the mood to find out.

A line of smoking craters traveling around a street corner were the only
indication as to the cause of Happosai's disappearance, and a few
smoking holes in nearby houses, and the whine of Twin Ion Engines
overhead explained why he wasn't coming back.

"Interesting allies you two have..." Cologne muttered, poking at the
cooling asphalt with her cane. Turning to us, she frowned.

"As martial artists and, you two preformed rather poorly..." I stood up
and glared down at her, crossing my arms.

"We won didn't we?" Jupiter asked, sliding up beside me.

"Yes, and quite effectively, too. But you both finished your opponents
off... hmm.. lets say it was less-than-honorable, striking them in the
back," she said, then turned to me, " or the back of the head, as the
case may be."

"Ahh.. well... I did what I had to in order to win. And I didn't want an
enraged Mousse going up against Jupiter. He can be dangerous when he's
angry."

"Be that as it may... and not that I don't agree with you there, you two
fought more like soldiers than martial artists. A 'whatever it takes'
approach to fighting, as opposed to 'win honorably' is what I saw, and
while effective, it wasn't very honest. Choking Mousse with his chains
as well..."

"Ehh, my old fighting style tended to focus on choking people into
submission instead of trading blows till someone fell over," I shrugged.
Cologne nodded, then hopped up on her staff.

"You two have passed the main initiation tests. I may not approve of
your methods, but the laws do allow such defeats to count as victories."

"Keen."

"Wo ai ni!" Jupiter said, jumping onto me. I rolled my eyes, and she let
go, turning aback to Cologne, who looked to be deciding whether to frown
at us, or smile. Finally, she turned and hopped away.

"Not too bad, you two.. Cologne was right about your finishing moves,
but at least during the fight you handled everything well enough." Ranma
said.

"Now that that's over, we can get back to business." Mr. Tendo said,
rising from behind his trashcan. I rolled my eyes, and watched as he
approached, avoiding the smoking molten craters from the heavy
turbolaser blasts, the Bakusai Tenketsu craters, the small Happo-
Daikarin craters, and the few Ki-blast craters littering the streets.

About halfway there, the whine of a TIE-Fighter grew, and a green blast
struck Mr. Tendo, another small dog taking his place.

The TIE circled once, before slowing, finally landing nearby. The Pilot
clambered out of the lower hatch, and approached, saluting me. After I
returned it, he removed his helmet, and placed it under his arm,
carefully.

"Thanks for the earlier assist..."

"Lieutenant Pullman, My Lord."

"-Pullman. Though... why'd you shoot Mr. Tendo?" The dog was currently
crying over Akane, who was starting to stir.

"He looked to be preparing an attack, and I moved, Lord. I apologize for
the mistake."

Nodding, I looked at the Tie Fighter, and noticed the lasers affixed to
each Panel had been hastily added.

"Are those permanent curse blasters, or temporary?" I asked, nodding my
head towards the Fighter.

"Temporary. Lieutenant Commander Cantrell could only make eight, and
affixed them to two TIE fighters in time. Captain Archer was adamant
about getting us launched."

I nodded again, before telling him to return to the thunder. Turning to
look at the combatants, who were beginning to awaken, Makoto and I
slipped into our apartment, Ranma following us, before we could be
spotted and everything began again.