Title: Amor ordinem nescit (Love knows no reason)
Author: silenus (silenusnz@hotmail.com)
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: HP/DM - yip it's slash people. Leave if you must.
Disclaimer: characters belong to JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them for a tic.
A/N: hey, my chapters are getting longer. Not up to my usual standards (which isn't terribly high anyway, but still).
-------
"Harry. We need to talk." The words feared most by all well-intentioned by notoriously fun-loving Gryffindors, and not to mention a handful of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs as well.
The Talk.
With Hermione.
Which wasn't exactly what Harry had envisioned when he'd agreed to play Wizard's Chess with Ron. In one of his more prosaic moments he simply pictured Ron, a chess board, and lots of chocolate frogs, and was fully prepared to enjoy the thirty-five minutes it would take for Ron to beat him (again). He certainly didn't imagine that 'The Talk' would be making an appearance, or even Hermione herself for that matter (who had had, she swore, another assignation with the library), but now here she was, bearing down on him with one of her 'this is for your own good' looks.
And the common room was suddenly completely empty. Even Ron had left. He supposed they must have left during his oft-repeated impression of a stunned goldfish.
Cowards. The lot of them!
Still, he couldn't help but admit that if he'd gotten the heads up that apparently everyone else had been given he'd have been out of there faster than a .. well, something very fast.
But he recognised, though obviously not on a chessboard, a stalemate when he saw one. He quickly schooled his features from 'deer in headlights' to 'exasperated but polite' - the only way to deal with Hermione in this situation that wouldn't get him a) lynched or b) forced to endure 'The Talk' for more than he had to.
Ah, hell! Who was he kidding? 'Talking' with Hermione was something akin to ritual sacrifice by being smothered in honey and left trussed up in the Forbidden Forest to be eaten by rabid dogs. And it was completely, exasperatingly unpredictable. It was probably the closest he'd ever get to walking across a live minefield.
Without the mines. Or the walking.
But still - Pure danger.
"Hermione. What's up?" Suave thy name is Potter. Harry Potter.
A snort from Hermione. Apparently not suave then, though knocking over several chess pieces while trying to follow Rule I of 'how to get out of 'The Talk' in one piece' (by Ronald Weasley, see Seamus Finnegan for copies) - Avoid Eye Contact, Focus on Something, Anything, Remain Calm At All Times - probably wasn't helping things.
"Harry are you gay?" Though really, keeping eye contact was a highly underrated skill, and particularly difficult when Hermione was sitting across from you clasping both of your hands within her own, in what he supposed was an attempt at comfort though only had the end effect of making his hands clammy, with both of her eyes fixed completely on your own.
And she just sat there and waited. In an unnervy silence. Rather like the old westerns he'd occasionally been allowed to watch at the Dursley's, and he almost gigged imagining the next words our of Hermione's mouth as 'this town ain't big enough for the both of us.'
Almost.
Until he realised just exactly what she had said. Are you gay?
He choked instead.
"Wh.what?"
"Harry, it's completely okay to be gay." Yeah, well sure, if you were gay. But he wasn't. Because he was sure that there was a completely logical explanation that would explain his recent (and all-consuming) thoughts about Malfoy. There had to be.
He just hadn't come up with one yet, that's all.
"Hermione, I'm not." and coupled with some rather confused head shaking Harry just hoped that she'd get this over with as quickly as possible. Admit defeat and walk away.
"Harry. It's. Okay. To. Be. Gay". Then again Hermione wasn't exactly known for walking away from 'The Talk'. She saw it as one of her responsibilities. Though really, correct enunciation wasn't helping matters.
"Why, why would you think that?"
"Because I'm your friend." Well, okay then. That clears that up. You think I'm gay because you're my friend. "And I've been watching you. You've been a little out of it this week."
"I fall asleep in Charms and suddenly I'm gay?"
"You were fine before the Incident in the corridor, and then," she waves her hands at Harry like his current position should explain itself.
"And then.?"
"And then there was that detention." Ah the Detention. Following the Incident. "You go from acting depressed and confused to walking around with this perpetual crazy grin on your face like you've just discovered chocolate."
Crazy grin? "What crazy grin?"
"The one you've been wearing since detention. The one you're wearing now."
Oh.
"And your detention was with Malfoy."
Oh.
"And detention with Malfoy isn't something that someone spends days smiling about, unless.." and she's waving her hands again looking, Harry's happy to note, slightly uncomfortable for the first time in the conversation.
"You think I'm gay because I had detention with Malfoy and now I'm smiling?"
"Yes."
"Hermione? Are you on medication? Because I'm really not connecting the dots here."
"Harry let's just say you've been in an emotional coma for most of the year- "
"Hey!"
"Harry let me finish!" Woops, forgot the second rule of 'how to get out of 'The Talk' in one piece' - Do Not Interrupt! "You haven't been in a relationship since your 'fling' with Cho in fifth year. Let's face it, and you know I love you Harry and I'm only saying this because I'm your friend, but you're practically an emotional vegetable. The only time you're reacting is when you're fighting and most of the time that's with Malfoy. And then all of a sudden, bam! you're smiling like you haven't for years, and as an aside you're freaking out the first years by the way, you might want to tone it down a little."
"So I'm happy? It's hardly a cause for a 'Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Told-He-Was- Gay intervention." And was that just him or did that come out a little sulky?
"Harry I'll break this down for you. For some scary, crazy, Twilight Zone 'Snape's awarded you fifty points' reason, Malfoy makes you happy. Being with Malfoy makes you happy. Scary happy. Ergo. You like Malfoy. Ergo you're gay."
"No it doesn't. And stop saying ergo." That was definitely sulky.
"Well then Harry explain it to me."
"I over-dosed on Cheering Charms again?"
"I doubt that Harry."
"Well maybe I breathed in too many fumes from the cleaning solution we were using at detention?"
"Which has lasted for four days?"
"It was high potency, extra strength Herm."
"Hmm. Do you know you haven't even mentioned Malfoy yet? Shouldn't you be screaming from the rooftops or something about how much you hate him? That I'm completely wrong and that it's Malfoy for christs sake! Eww." Eww? Come on, Malfoy's even a blind person would have to admit that Malfoy's above average on the appearance scales.
"You are completely wrong, and as for the screaming apparently I'm too happy for that now aren't I?'
"Don't get stroppy Harry I'm trying to help."
"By calling me gay?"
"It's not a bad name you know. Plenty of guys and girls are gay."
"Are you?"
"Well, no."
"Well, there you are then."
"Harry we're talking about you, not me."
"Well maybe I'm sick of being the centre of attention!"
"There's only the two of us here."
Argh! This was definitely a head-on-table-banging moment if there ever was one.
"Harry.Oh! Stop that, you'll hurt your head, and Ron will never forgive you if you damage his chess board."
Softly. "I may like him," and then quickly, "but just a little bit."
Just a little bit. I like him. And saying that hadn't been as difficult as he'd thought it would be. He wasn't quite to prepared to begin labelling himself with the 'GAY' tag, but he had to admit that since the Incident and the Detention he'd been plagued with, well, less than platonic thoughts about Malfoy.
All. The. Time.
Though he certainly wasn't sharing that information with Hermione, who was looking too smug with herself as it was.
"I'm not even going to pretend to understand, but if he makes you this happy he's got to be doing something right. And don't feel you have to tell me, you know."
"I know what?"
"You know," and leaning across the table to whisper in a conspiratorial manner like they were a couple of five year old girls, "details."
And when in Rome, "details? What details?" Quite the picture they'd make if the rest of the house chose that moment to walk back into the common room. The two of them sitting opposite each other, hands clasped in the centre of the table and backs hunched over the desk so that their faces were close together, whispering.
"About you and Malfoy."
Oh. Details about him and Malfoy. He had to shake his head to dispel the sudden images that popped into his mind of certain things that Hermione could be thinking.
Ahem. Hermione apparently has quite the dirty mind.
"Herm!" That sounded decently outraged. "We haven't done anything. Just talked. A little."
"But you want to? Do something?"
Argh. Stop. With. The. Images. He pulled his hands out from Hermione's and cradled his head. "You won't tell Ron will you?"
"Nope. You can tell him."
"But, there's nothing to tell. Really."
"Fine." Where was a comfortable silence when you needed one? He could almost picture a tumbleweed blowing slowly across the common room with the theme song from some corny western echoing in his ears. "But promise me you'll tell him when there is something to tell?"
Rule III of 'how to get out of 'The Talk' in one piece' - Admit Defeat. Agree with Her. " I Promise."
"Well, okay I'll let the rest of the Gryffindors back in. If anyone asks by the way, we were talking about you slacking off in class. Actually, while we're on the subject-"
"No!" Hermione looked a little abashed so he grinned sheepishly, "you've given me a bit to think over, I think I'll just go to the library for a bit. You know, to think." Well done Harry. Nice strategic defeat.
"Oh heaven forbid that the library should be used for anything else!" but she was smiling so he felt reassured that they were fine, and that inexplicably she was also fine with whatever might be developing between himself and Malfoy.
But was Malfoy? What did he want?
As he walked away from the common room towards the library he ruefully admitted, if only to himself, that maybe it wasn't so much of a strategic defeat but rather a plan of action.
The library was a good place to think after all. And he certainly had a lot to think about.
TBC.
------------
Please Review!
Author: silenus (silenusnz@hotmail.com)
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: HP/DM - yip it's slash people. Leave if you must.
Disclaimer: characters belong to JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them for a tic.
A/N: hey, my chapters are getting longer. Not up to my usual standards (which isn't terribly high anyway, but still).
-------
"Harry. We need to talk." The words feared most by all well-intentioned by notoriously fun-loving Gryffindors, and not to mention a handful of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs as well.
The Talk.
With Hermione.
Which wasn't exactly what Harry had envisioned when he'd agreed to play Wizard's Chess with Ron. In one of his more prosaic moments he simply pictured Ron, a chess board, and lots of chocolate frogs, and was fully prepared to enjoy the thirty-five minutes it would take for Ron to beat him (again). He certainly didn't imagine that 'The Talk' would be making an appearance, or even Hermione herself for that matter (who had had, she swore, another assignation with the library), but now here she was, bearing down on him with one of her 'this is for your own good' looks.
And the common room was suddenly completely empty. Even Ron had left. He supposed they must have left during his oft-repeated impression of a stunned goldfish.
Cowards. The lot of them!
Still, he couldn't help but admit that if he'd gotten the heads up that apparently everyone else had been given he'd have been out of there faster than a .. well, something very fast.
But he recognised, though obviously not on a chessboard, a stalemate when he saw one. He quickly schooled his features from 'deer in headlights' to 'exasperated but polite' - the only way to deal with Hermione in this situation that wouldn't get him a) lynched or b) forced to endure 'The Talk' for more than he had to.
Ah, hell! Who was he kidding? 'Talking' with Hermione was something akin to ritual sacrifice by being smothered in honey and left trussed up in the Forbidden Forest to be eaten by rabid dogs. And it was completely, exasperatingly unpredictable. It was probably the closest he'd ever get to walking across a live minefield.
Without the mines. Or the walking.
But still - Pure danger.
"Hermione. What's up?" Suave thy name is Potter. Harry Potter.
A snort from Hermione. Apparently not suave then, though knocking over several chess pieces while trying to follow Rule I of 'how to get out of 'The Talk' in one piece' (by Ronald Weasley, see Seamus Finnegan for copies) - Avoid Eye Contact, Focus on Something, Anything, Remain Calm At All Times - probably wasn't helping things.
"Harry are you gay?" Though really, keeping eye contact was a highly underrated skill, and particularly difficult when Hermione was sitting across from you clasping both of your hands within her own, in what he supposed was an attempt at comfort though only had the end effect of making his hands clammy, with both of her eyes fixed completely on your own.
And she just sat there and waited. In an unnervy silence. Rather like the old westerns he'd occasionally been allowed to watch at the Dursley's, and he almost gigged imagining the next words our of Hermione's mouth as 'this town ain't big enough for the both of us.'
Almost.
Until he realised just exactly what she had said. Are you gay?
He choked instead.
"Wh.what?"
"Harry, it's completely okay to be gay." Yeah, well sure, if you were gay. But he wasn't. Because he was sure that there was a completely logical explanation that would explain his recent (and all-consuming) thoughts about Malfoy. There had to be.
He just hadn't come up with one yet, that's all.
"Hermione, I'm not." and coupled with some rather confused head shaking Harry just hoped that she'd get this over with as quickly as possible. Admit defeat and walk away.
"Harry. It's. Okay. To. Be. Gay". Then again Hermione wasn't exactly known for walking away from 'The Talk'. She saw it as one of her responsibilities. Though really, correct enunciation wasn't helping matters.
"Why, why would you think that?"
"Because I'm your friend." Well, okay then. That clears that up. You think I'm gay because you're my friend. "And I've been watching you. You've been a little out of it this week."
"I fall asleep in Charms and suddenly I'm gay?"
"You were fine before the Incident in the corridor, and then," she waves her hands at Harry like his current position should explain itself.
"And then.?"
"And then there was that detention." Ah the Detention. Following the Incident. "You go from acting depressed and confused to walking around with this perpetual crazy grin on your face like you've just discovered chocolate."
Crazy grin? "What crazy grin?"
"The one you've been wearing since detention. The one you're wearing now."
Oh.
"And your detention was with Malfoy."
Oh.
"And detention with Malfoy isn't something that someone spends days smiling about, unless.." and she's waving her hands again looking, Harry's happy to note, slightly uncomfortable for the first time in the conversation.
"You think I'm gay because I had detention with Malfoy and now I'm smiling?"
"Yes."
"Hermione? Are you on medication? Because I'm really not connecting the dots here."
"Harry let's just say you've been in an emotional coma for most of the year- "
"Hey!"
"Harry let me finish!" Woops, forgot the second rule of 'how to get out of 'The Talk' in one piece' - Do Not Interrupt! "You haven't been in a relationship since your 'fling' with Cho in fifth year. Let's face it, and you know I love you Harry and I'm only saying this because I'm your friend, but you're practically an emotional vegetable. The only time you're reacting is when you're fighting and most of the time that's with Malfoy. And then all of a sudden, bam! you're smiling like you haven't for years, and as an aside you're freaking out the first years by the way, you might want to tone it down a little."
"So I'm happy? It's hardly a cause for a 'Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Told-He-Was- Gay intervention." And was that just him or did that come out a little sulky?
"Harry I'll break this down for you. For some scary, crazy, Twilight Zone 'Snape's awarded you fifty points' reason, Malfoy makes you happy. Being with Malfoy makes you happy. Scary happy. Ergo. You like Malfoy. Ergo you're gay."
"No it doesn't. And stop saying ergo." That was definitely sulky.
"Well then Harry explain it to me."
"I over-dosed on Cheering Charms again?"
"I doubt that Harry."
"Well maybe I breathed in too many fumes from the cleaning solution we were using at detention?"
"Which has lasted for four days?"
"It was high potency, extra strength Herm."
"Hmm. Do you know you haven't even mentioned Malfoy yet? Shouldn't you be screaming from the rooftops or something about how much you hate him? That I'm completely wrong and that it's Malfoy for christs sake! Eww." Eww? Come on, Malfoy's even a blind person would have to admit that Malfoy's above average on the appearance scales.
"You are completely wrong, and as for the screaming apparently I'm too happy for that now aren't I?'
"Don't get stroppy Harry I'm trying to help."
"By calling me gay?"
"It's not a bad name you know. Plenty of guys and girls are gay."
"Are you?"
"Well, no."
"Well, there you are then."
"Harry we're talking about you, not me."
"Well maybe I'm sick of being the centre of attention!"
"There's only the two of us here."
Argh! This was definitely a head-on-table-banging moment if there ever was one.
"Harry.Oh! Stop that, you'll hurt your head, and Ron will never forgive you if you damage his chess board."
Softly. "I may like him," and then quickly, "but just a little bit."
Just a little bit. I like him. And saying that hadn't been as difficult as he'd thought it would be. He wasn't quite to prepared to begin labelling himself with the 'GAY' tag, but he had to admit that since the Incident and the Detention he'd been plagued with, well, less than platonic thoughts about Malfoy.
All. The. Time.
Though he certainly wasn't sharing that information with Hermione, who was looking too smug with herself as it was.
"I'm not even going to pretend to understand, but if he makes you this happy he's got to be doing something right. And don't feel you have to tell me, you know."
"I know what?"
"You know," and leaning across the table to whisper in a conspiratorial manner like they were a couple of five year old girls, "details."
And when in Rome, "details? What details?" Quite the picture they'd make if the rest of the house chose that moment to walk back into the common room. The two of them sitting opposite each other, hands clasped in the centre of the table and backs hunched over the desk so that their faces were close together, whispering.
"About you and Malfoy."
Oh. Details about him and Malfoy. He had to shake his head to dispel the sudden images that popped into his mind of certain things that Hermione could be thinking.
Ahem. Hermione apparently has quite the dirty mind.
"Herm!" That sounded decently outraged. "We haven't done anything. Just talked. A little."
"But you want to? Do something?"
Argh. Stop. With. The. Images. He pulled his hands out from Hermione's and cradled his head. "You won't tell Ron will you?"
"Nope. You can tell him."
"But, there's nothing to tell. Really."
"Fine." Where was a comfortable silence when you needed one? He could almost picture a tumbleweed blowing slowly across the common room with the theme song from some corny western echoing in his ears. "But promise me you'll tell him when there is something to tell?"
Rule III of 'how to get out of 'The Talk' in one piece' - Admit Defeat. Agree with Her. " I Promise."
"Well, okay I'll let the rest of the Gryffindors back in. If anyone asks by the way, we were talking about you slacking off in class. Actually, while we're on the subject-"
"No!" Hermione looked a little abashed so he grinned sheepishly, "you've given me a bit to think over, I think I'll just go to the library for a bit. You know, to think." Well done Harry. Nice strategic defeat.
"Oh heaven forbid that the library should be used for anything else!" but she was smiling so he felt reassured that they were fine, and that inexplicably she was also fine with whatever might be developing between himself and Malfoy.
But was Malfoy? What did he want?
As he walked away from the common room towards the library he ruefully admitted, if only to himself, that maybe it wasn't so much of a strategic defeat but rather a plan of action.
The library was a good place to think after all. And he certainly had a lot to think about.
TBC.
------------
Please Review!
