Author's Note: I think a few folks may have misunderstood the last chapter.
Lee did NOT snog Winky. There was a lapse in time, meaning the details of
all the snogs in between Lee and Winky were not disclosed. We shall never
know what happened in that time frame... or will we?
There was a swish of robes as Albus Dumbldore sauntered through the halls, looking suave and debonair. Okay, well, maybe he didn't LOOK suave and debonair, but he was thinking it in his head. If that counts for anything. He made a sharp right and headed towards the chambers of none other than Minerva McGonagall.
"Ganja," he said to a seemingly innocent statue of a lioness. Upon hearing the password, the statue moved over two feet and a doorway was revealed. Dumbledore stepped through into the darkened room. He muttered a quick spell to light all the torches in the room. Once the room was lit-up, he saw that Minerva's wand was only inches from his nose.
He smiled at her. "Minerva," he said calmly. "How did you know it was me?"
McGonagall tightened her grip on the wand and eyed him fiercely. "Let's just say I suddenly acquired an incredible admiration for Professor Trelawney's work, decided to dedicate my life to it in honor of her, and saw you coming in my crystal ball."
"You heard my robes swish again, didn't you?" The old wizard sighed. "I've been meaning to do something about that..."
"Never mind how I know, the fact of the matter is that I know. I know what you're here for, and I demand that you turn around and leave at once, Albus."
"Oh, come now, Minerva." Dumbledore took a step closer to her, despite the threatening wand pointed right at him. "What kind of professors would we be if we didn't humor the students?"
"Smart ones."
Dumbledore shrugged. "Very well, Minerva. You leave me no choice." The wizard cleared his throat and met McGonagall's eyes, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He bellowed: "L is for the way you look at me! O is for the only one I see!"
"No, no! Anything but that, Dumbledore!"
However, the wizard's song was not stopped. Instead, he grabbed hold of McGonagall and began to tango around the room as he serenaded. "V is very, very," [stomp, stomp] "Extraordinary. And E is even more than anyone that I adore..."
"Why me?" cried McGonagall.
"AND LOVE IS ALL THAT I CAN GIVE TO YOU! LOVE! IS MORE THAN JUST A GAME FOR TWO! TWO IN LOVE CAN MAKE IT..." Dumbledore paused and looked at McGonagall. She shook her head defiantly, but Dumbledore kept staring.
She sighed in defeat. "Take my heart but please don't break it," she sang half-heartedly.
Dumbledore smiled. "Love! Was made for me and you!"
"Oh, very well," said Minerva, tossing her wand to the ground as she and Dumbledore shared a scrumptious snog.
----------------
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor tower, the students were milling about in the common room, jovially discussing the various snogs they had witnessed that day. A few people pondered who could have possibly started Pass the Snog Day up again; George merely smiled smugly.
The only one who wasn't downstairs enjoying the fun was Harry Potter. He had retired to the dormitory to write a letter to Sirius. He didn't much feel like talking about Pass the Snog Day... his own experience had been rather dreaful and he didn't care to bring it up amongst his peers. As he scrawled on a piece of parchment, he heard the door open and he looked up to see who'd come in.
"Hey there, Harry," said Seamus.
"Hello Seamus," Harry replied unenthusiastically. He didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. He proceeded to concentrate on his letter, ignoring Seamus.
Seamus stood in the middle of the room, shifting uncomfortably. After what seemed to be a moment of thought, he stepped forward and took a seat beside Harry.
Caught off guard, Harry fumbled to quickly cover up the letter he was working on. "Seamus? What are you doing?"
Seamus took a deep breath and grinned. "Listen, Harry... I know."
Harry's eyes widened. He knew? Knew what? Did he know about Sirius? Harry suddenly became very worried. "Er... um... what do you mean?"
Seamus sighed and shook his head, laughing lightly. "Harry, Harry, Harry. It's okay. You don't have to be ashamed." He reached out and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "You're not alone, you know..."
"Oh, for bloody's sake..." said Harry angrily, quickly moving away from the seductive Seamus. "This is has gotten out of control." He left the dormitory and stormed downstairs.
"ALL RIGHT!" he screamed to get the attention of the common room. "I want to settle this once and for all. I, Harry Potter, AM NOT GAY!!!" He exhaled in relief, glad to have gotten that off his chest. After a moment, he noticed that everyone was silent and staring at him.
"That's fabulous news, Mr. Potter," said a voice from the crowd. Harry looked to the head of the room and saw that Professor McGonagall was standing there, looking authoritative. "But if you wouldn't mind, may I please get on with my announcement?"
Harry blushed. "Er... sorry, Professor."
"As I was saying... the culprit for re-instating this ridiculous 'Pass the Snog' ritual has been identified and shall come with me immediately. George Weasely, please step forward." There was a mild murmur through the crowd as George Weasely moved towards Professor McGonagall.
"But... how did you find out it was me, Professor?" asked George.
McGonagall raised a cocky eyebrow. "I, too, have my sources, Mr. Weasely. Now follow me."
With a heavy sigh, George followed Professor McGonagall through the portrait hole. They walked through the dark halls of Hogwarts to McGonagall's office. When they arrived, McGonagall took a seat behind her desk and motioned for George to sit down in the chair on the opposite side. She stared at him icily once he'd taken his seat, and he wondered vaguely if he was in any sort of danger of her wrath.
"So..." she said, drawing the single syllable out.
"So..." George repeated. He waited for a minute, mentally preparing for the scolding to come. It didn't. "Um... Professor? If you don't mind, could I ask... are you going to punish me or what?"
"Tuh! If only it were that simple, Mr. Weasley. Unfortunately, I must share in your suffering."
"How's that?"
McGonagall folded her hands and placed them on the desk, making her seem even more intimidating as she spoke. "It is past eleven thirty, Mr. Weasley, and I am now in possession of the Snog. You know what that means, don't you?"
George swallowed. "Er... no, actually."
McGonagall sighed in impatience. "Did you not even bother to get all the information before initiating this holiday? The last person to receive the Snog has to return it to the initiator at the stroke of midnight."
The fear in George swelled to unspeakable heights. "You mean... you mean WE have to Snog?"
McGonagall nodded solemnly. She looked as though someone had just died. "Otherwise, we BOTH get stuck with the curse. I don't know about you, Mr. Weasley, but I'm not keen on having boils all over my lips for a year. So..." She took a deep, meditative breath. "We must do what we must do!" Without another word she dove for the boy, who yelped and dodged out of the way.
"Now, George, don't make this any more difficult than it has to be!" said the Professor, chasing him around her office.
"No way!" cried George. "It's not worth it!" McGonagall tried to cut him off, but he skillfully leapt over her desk to escape.
"Come here, you ruffian! I'm not going to live with a curse just because of your childish antics!"
"Nothing doin'!"
McGonagall continued to chase the lively George around her office, all the while knocking over books and things from the shelves. Finally, letting out a fierce battle cry, (You heard me right, people.... a battle cry), McGonagall jumped into the air and landed right on top of him. She pinned him to the ground and moved in for the kill.
"WAIT!" cried George, who was trembling in fear as her aged, purple-ish lips moved towards him. "You don't have to do this! There is no curse! I MADE IT ALL UP!"
McGonagall froze. She glared evilly at him, and a vein in her neck began to twitch. "YOU WHAT?"
George exhaled in relief. "I lied about the whole thing."
"But... all those Snogs... and the tradition..."
"Oh, sure, I READ about Pass the Snog Day... but have you actually looked at that spell? That's some pretty complicated magic, and I wasn't about to risk my lips by trying."
"So you're telling me all the hysteria today was for nothing?"
George grinned. "Well, I wouldn't say for nothing. It was quite a bit fun, after all. What are we if we're not constantly rising to new challenges? As a matter of fact..." He lifted his head slightly and snogged the stunned Professor.
Professor McGonagall screamed. "George Weasley!"
The mischievious student simply chuckled. "You know, I was just thinking. We really ought to do this again sometime..."
fin
~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: Muchos gracias to all of my reviewers! I know some of the updates for this story were way spread out, but I dig you folks who stuck with me. 325+ reviews... not too shabby. I'm also pleased to see that I've scarred and disturbed just as many people as I've made go into fits of laughter. Let us hope, for the sake of all that is good in the world, that I don't give comedy a go again any time soon. It's back to the angst category for this writer. Again, thanks to all, and if I was able to make you laugh at least once when you read this story... then I've done my part. Oh, and here's a snog for the road, eh? *MUAH*
There was a swish of robes as Albus Dumbldore sauntered through the halls, looking suave and debonair. Okay, well, maybe he didn't LOOK suave and debonair, but he was thinking it in his head. If that counts for anything. He made a sharp right and headed towards the chambers of none other than Minerva McGonagall.
"Ganja," he said to a seemingly innocent statue of a lioness. Upon hearing the password, the statue moved over two feet and a doorway was revealed. Dumbledore stepped through into the darkened room. He muttered a quick spell to light all the torches in the room. Once the room was lit-up, he saw that Minerva's wand was only inches from his nose.
He smiled at her. "Minerva," he said calmly. "How did you know it was me?"
McGonagall tightened her grip on the wand and eyed him fiercely. "Let's just say I suddenly acquired an incredible admiration for Professor Trelawney's work, decided to dedicate my life to it in honor of her, and saw you coming in my crystal ball."
"You heard my robes swish again, didn't you?" The old wizard sighed. "I've been meaning to do something about that..."
"Never mind how I know, the fact of the matter is that I know. I know what you're here for, and I demand that you turn around and leave at once, Albus."
"Oh, come now, Minerva." Dumbledore took a step closer to her, despite the threatening wand pointed right at him. "What kind of professors would we be if we didn't humor the students?"
"Smart ones."
Dumbledore shrugged. "Very well, Minerva. You leave me no choice." The wizard cleared his throat and met McGonagall's eyes, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He bellowed: "L is for the way you look at me! O is for the only one I see!"
"No, no! Anything but that, Dumbledore!"
However, the wizard's song was not stopped. Instead, he grabbed hold of McGonagall and began to tango around the room as he serenaded. "V is very, very," [stomp, stomp] "Extraordinary. And E is even more than anyone that I adore..."
"Why me?" cried McGonagall.
"AND LOVE IS ALL THAT I CAN GIVE TO YOU! LOVE! IS MORE THAN JUST A GAME FOR TWO! TWO IN LOVE CAN MAKE IT..." Dumbledore paused and looked at McGonagall. She shook her head defiantly, but Dumbledore kept staring.
She sighed in defeat. "Take my heart but please don't break it," she sang half-heartedly.
Dumbledore smiled. "Love! Was made for me and you!"
"Oh, very well," said Minerva, tossing her wand to the ground as she and Dumbledore shared a scrumptious snog.
----------------
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor tower, the students were milling about in the common room, jovially discussing the various snogs they had witnessed that day. A few people pondered who could have possibly started Pass the Snog Day up again; George merely smiled smugly.
The only one who wasn't downstairs enjoying the fun was Harry Potter. He had retired to the dormitory to write a letter to Sirius. He didn't much feel like talking about Pass the Snog Day... his own experience had been rather dreaful and he didn't care to bring it up amongst his peers. As he scrawled on a piece of parchment, he heard the door open and he looked up to see who'd come in.
"Hey there, Harry," said Seamus.
"Hello Seamus," Harry replied unenthusiastically. He didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. He proceeded to concentrate on his letter, ignoring Seamus.
Seamus stood in the middle of the room, shifting uncomfortably. After what seemed to be a moment of thought, he stepped forward and took a seat beside Harry.
Caught off guard, Harry fumbled to quickly cover up the letter he was working on. "Seamus? What are you doing?"
Seamus took a deep breath and grinned. "Listen, Harry... I know."
Harry's eyes widened. He knew? Knew what? Did he know about Sirius? Harry suddenly became very worried. "Er... um... what do you mean?"
Seamus sighed and shook his head, laughing lightly. "Harry, Harry, Harry. It's okay. You don't have to be ashamed." He reached out and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "You're not alone, you know..."
"Oh, for bloody's sake..." said Harry angrily, quickly moving away from the seductive Seamus. "This is has gotten out of control." He left the dormitory and stormed downstairs.
"ALL RIGHT!" he screamed to get the attention of the common room. "I want to settle this once and for all. I, Harry Potter, AM NOT GAY!!!" He exhaled in relief, glad to have gotten that off his chest. After a moment, he noticed that everyone was silent and staring at him.
"That's fabulous news, Mr. Potter," said a voice from the crowd. Harry looked to the head of the room and saw that Professor McGonagall was standing there, looking authoritative. "But if you wouldn't mind, may I please get on with my announcement?"
Harry blushed. "Er... sorry, Professor."
"As I was saying... the culprit for re-instating this ridiculous 'Pass the Snog' ritual has been identified and shall come with me immediately. George Weasely, please step forward." There was a mild murmur through the crowd as George Weasely moved towards Professor McGonagall.
"But... how did you find out it was me, Professor?" asked George.
McGonagall raised a cocky eyebrow. "I, too, have my sources, Mr. Weasely. Now follow me."
With a heavy sigh, George followed Professor McGonagall through the portrait hole. They walked through the dark halls of Hogwarts to McGonagall's office. When they arrived, McGonagall took a seat behind her desk and motioned for George to sit down in the chair on the opposite side. She stared at him icily once he'd taken his seat, and he wondered vaguely if he was in any sort of danger of her wrath.
"So..." she said, drawing the single syllable out.
"So..." George repeated. He waited for a minute, mentally preparing for the scolding to come. It didn't. "Um... Professor? If you don't mind, could I ask... are you going to punish me or what?"
"Tuh! If only it were that simple, Mr. Weasley. Unfortunately, I must share in your suffering."
"How's that?"
McGonagall folded her hands and placed them on the desk, making her seem even more intimidating as she spoke. "It is past eleven thirty, Mr. Weasley, and I am now in possession of the Snog. You know what that means, don't you?"
George swallowed. "Er... no, actually."
McGonagall sighed in impatience. "Did you not even bother to get all the information before initiating this holiday? The last person to receive the Snog has to return it to the initiator at the stroke of midnight."
The fear in George swelled to unspeakable heights. "You mean... you mean WE have to Snog?"
McGonagall nodded solemnly. She looked as though someone had just died. "Otherwise, we BOTH get stuck with the curse. I don't know about you, Mr. Weasley, but I'm not keen on having boils all over my lips for a year. So..." She took a deep, meditative breath. "We must do what we must do!" Without another word she dove for the boy, who yelped and dodged out of the way.
"Now, George, don't make this any more difficult than it has to be!" said the Professor, chasing him around her office.
"No way!" cried George. "It's not worth it!" McGonagall tried to cut him off, but he skillfully leapt over her desk to escape.
"Come here, you ruffian! I'm not going to live with a curse just because of your childish antics!"
"Nothing doin'!"
McGonagall continued to chase the lively George around her office, all the while knocking over books and things from the shelves. Finally, letting out a fierce battle cry, (You heard me right, people.... a battle cry), McGonagall jumped into the air and landed right on top of him. She pinned him to the ground and moved in for the kill.
"WAIT!" cried George, who was trembling in fear as her aged, purple-ish lips moved towards him. "You don't have to do this! There is no curse! I MADE IT ALL UP!"
McGonagall froze. She glared evilly at him, and a vein in her neck began to twitch. "YOU WHAT?"
George exhaled in relief. "I lied about the whole thing."
"But... all those Snogs... and the tradition..."
"Oh, sure, I READ about Pass the Snog Day... but have you actually looked at that spell? That's some pretty complicated magic, and I wasn't about to risk my lips by trying."
"So you're telling me all the hysteria today was for nothing?"
George grinned. "Well, I wouldn't say for nothing. It was quite a bit fun, after all. What are we if we're not constantly rising to new challenges? As a matter of fact..." He lifted his head slightly and snogged the stunned Professor.
Professor McGonagall screamed. "George Weasley!"
The mischievious student simply chuckled. "You know, I was just thinking. We really ought to do this again sometime..."
fin
~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Note: Muchos gracias to all of my reviewers! I know some of the updates for this story were way spread out, but I dig you folks who stuck with me. 325+ reviews... not too shabby. I'm also pleased to see that I've scarred and disturbed just as many people as I've made go into fits of laughter. Let us hope, for the sake of all that is good in the world, that I don't give comedy a go again any time soon. It's back to the angst category for this writer. Again, thanks to all, and if I was able to make you laugh at least once when you read this story... then I've done my part. Oh, and here's a snog for the road, eh? *MUAH*
