Hermione sat in her room and looked at the letter she had just finished to Harry.
Dear Harry,
I don't know if you've read any of the letters I have sent you. I hope that you have, and that you're not mad at me about anything. I know you are going through the darkest part of your life right now and I want you to know that I am here for you. I hope you are going back to school tomorrow. I pray that you are going back to school tomorrow. Harry, I don't know what I would do without you. I will always be here Harry. I will always wait for you. I found a song that fit how I'm feeling right now perfectly, and I've written down some of the lyrics. I hope it touches you as much as it touched me.
I wish there was
something I could say
to erase each and every page
you've been through
even though it's not my place to save you
appreciate but cant
accept this thank you note
that's sealed with your last breath
and I won't stand aside
and listen to you give up
These arms remain stretched out to you
maybe someday you'll accept them
maybe its too late to save a young girls heart that slowly stopped beating
(maybe)
if you'll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
It is my place to save you Harry. It's my place because, well, I love you, Harry. Please hold on, please hold on for me.
Love,
Hermione
Hermione attached the letter to Hedwig's leg. She ruffled the Snow Owl's feathers. The owl looked at her sadly.
"I know that he won't read this, but please Hedwig, take it to him anyways," she said softly.
Hedwig hooted, turned and flew out the window. Hermione stared after the owl, a tear slowly coursing its way down her cheek.
Platform 9 ¾ was as busy as always. Harry had gotten there several hours early, to make sure that he got a compartment all by himself. He idly fingered his new prefects badge and put a locking spell on the door to his compartment. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a blunt. He lit the end and sat there quietly taking hits, until he realized the train was moving. He opened the window a little and threw the roach out, then sat back in his seat and lit up a cigarette, turning on his cd player. As the music began pounding, he stared out the window at the passing countryside, waiting for the train to reach its destination.
Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna all shared a compartment. The five knew that Harry was somewhere on the train. Hermione could sense it, but they decided to let their friend have his distance. So they tried to chat, but a silence soon settled among the companions.
"That's it!" Hermione yelled. "I'm going to go fucking find him! I'm tired of all this bullshit! He will talk to us and he will sit with us and he will be happy and our friends again! I can't take it anymore," she sobbed.
Hermione threw open the door to the train and ran down the hallway, throwing open every door as she went. She finally came upon the last door. She tried to open it but to no avail. She tried to unlock it with a few charms, but that also didn't work. She knew Harry was in there though. She just knew it! He had to be in there!
"Harry!" She screamed. "I know you're in there! Open up!"
A cruel laugh interrupted her tirade. Malfoy was standing behind her, flanked by his goons, Crabbe and Goyle. His cold eyes mocked her, as his face contorted into a sneer.
"So, Potty has locked all his friends out of his life, eh Mudblood? Finally came to his senses and got rid of the…trash… that was always hanging about? Good…That makes my job that much easier…"
Malfoy was interrupted by the food-cart witch. She paused between them and sniffed the air. An alarmed look crossed her face and she turned on them.
"What's burning? Is there something burning in that compartment?" She demanded.
Malfoy and Hermione looked at her with blank faces, but the little old witch had turned to the door and begun pounding on it.
"Are you burning something in there? Open up! Are you ok?" She called.
The door slowly opened. Harry stood there, a cigarette hanging from his lips. He took one last drag on it, then dropped it and stepped on it, slowly grinding it out.
The little old witch looked at him in shock. Children should not be smoking on the train, or at all in Hogwarts. She seemed about to say something, then looked in Harry's eyes and decided to swallow it. She turned and hurried down the hall.
Malfoy looked at him with a sneer and turned and walked back into his compartment, his goons following.
Hermione stared at Harry. I can't believe how big he's grown…He must be at least eight inches taller than me and twice as broad. But he's smoking? And what's that other smell about him? It almost smells like…marijuana? What? And his eyes are…oh Jesus…His eyes are so dead…There's nothing in those eyes…The eyes that I… that I love.
Harry looked at her, and then brushed on by. He walked to the doors to the train, and watched as it pulled into the Hogsmeade station. The train stopped and Harry was first to exit, stopping only long enough to light up another smoke. He ignored the carriages with drawn by the thestrals and ignored Hagrid's shout of "Yeh al' right 'Arry?" and slowly made his way towards the castle, taking a little drag with every other step.
