Title: Harry Potter Victims
Original author: Mrs. Norris
Original language: Russian
Translation author: Prof. Snape
A/N: As you all know I'm not a fan of Mr. Potter, therefore this fic should not surprise you. Upon discovering this story among other Mrs. Norris' belongings, I was destined to translate and post it. Mrs. Norris, as you may guess, did not object. I would call this paticular story a warning to all Potter fans out there. But then, why would you listen to the "greasy git"? Now, go read the story and for homework I want a 12-inch essay on your opinion.
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-But I'm not Potter! I told you, I'm not Potter! - Grant's voice could be heard all over the school. He had one hand clenched into a fist and supported himself with the other.
Julie kept holding him by the throat.
-No one can hear you, - she purred, pretending not notice Alex's efforts to stomp her foot.
-Let me go, for God's sakes! - continued Grant, - I don't look like Potter! I don't! I don't even have the scar!
-Well... I don't think it's a problem, - drawled Julie suggestively and smiled her most innocent smile.
Something smooth and sharp glistened in Julie's hand. Alex Grant instantly guessed what THAT was. In less than a second he broke free from the "loving embrace" of the virago and ran.
He didn't know where or why he was running. The bell had rung ten minutes ago and to break into Mrs. Mortel's class in the middle of the lesson was life-threatening.
That's why, after a moment's hesitation, Grant dashed for the basement and hid in the darkest corner.
He damned the day when he had come to the school and met Julie. Thinking over all the terrifying events of the day, some of which nearly cost him his life, he yawned and leaned on the rough cold wall.
-Still hope to escape? - said the familiar voice somewhere nearby, - Too bad...
Alex quickly jumped to his feet, ready to put up resistance but Julie was showing with her whole demeanor that she wasn't going to stand up and fight.
-What do you want from me?! - yelled Grant nearly bursting into tears.
-To talk, - replied Julie, not raising her voice.
-Well, talk then! - Alex was about to faint but desperately struggled to hold on.
-You, Potter, killed my father and you'll have to pay for that.
-This is impossible! You can't be that obsessed! I think you've read too many Rowling books!
-I did not! - the girl was furious, - and I'm not obsessed! I am Lilly Voldemort and you, Harry, seem to have lost all your conscience!
-Oh, just think of it! I've lost all my conscience! - Grant was ready to burst with rage.
-Of course, - came the not-so-calm-anymore reply from Julie, who was tousling her hair. - I have vowed vengeance to my father that day. You've got a swelled head, Potter. After your victory over my poor Daddy the only thing you do is boasting of your fame. Now you're twice the hero, but I know the truth. I can see right through you and all your weaknesses. I will become your visitation.
-Julie, what kind of a "Lilly Voldemort" are you?! You used to be an absolutely normal girl before you've read that damned "Harry Potter"! - this was Alex's last chance.
-Don't try to lie to me! - cried Julie and stood her full height.
Grant understood that it was all in vain. He dropped his arms lifelessly and looked his torturer straight into the eye. She stood tall and proud and held something like a self-made wand in her hand.
-Well... The easiest way out is to kill me then? - Alex's voice had no hope left.
-No, - suddenly said Julie and came closer, - there IS another solution.
-But "your father" ordered to kill me, right?
-I know... - said the girl and after a minute's hesitation continued, - The thing is... that I... I love you, Harry.
-WHAT?! - Alex felt the usual way people feel when they get struck by a lightning.
-Calm down, - singsonged Julie and tried to touch Alex's hair.
-You're telling ME to calm down?! What do you want to do to me?!
-Oh, nothing terrible, silly! Think! Together we will have a huge power! Together we will do great deeds! You have your mother's power and I - my father's. Just think, Harry, how we can change this world!
-You're really obsessed.
-No! You don't understand! Why are you trying to lie to me? We were made for each other! You love me too, don't you, Potter?
Grant sighed.
-I will... think about it, Lilly, - finally said he and, damning all "Lilly's" nonsense, slowly dragged himself towards home. Alex definitely didn't want to stay at school that day.
Julie came home feeling totally happy and satisfied. She's finally managed to drive mad that pathetic Alex Grant! Oh! She's had her revenge! "Now he'll know better than to flirt with that sophomore cow!" - thought she.
Julie went to bed after having reread the fifth book for the 103 time (she's read all the others 109 times) and fell asleep with a baby's (or a nun's) smile on her face.
Alex Grant faced the mirror and sighed loudly.
-You're Harry Potter! Oh, my God! You're Harry Potter! - mimicked he Julie and stuck his tongue out.
Then he wiped off a thick layer of make up from his forehead and made sure that his famous scar was still on its place.
"And yet I wonder, how did she figure it out?"
The End
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P.S.: Expect a couple of SS/HG parodies in the nearest future. Now, go do your homework. Class dismissed.
