A/N: *evil grin* I have decided to be evil. How? Weeeeeell, you'll just have to wait and see. MWAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!
All the HP char's appear in a plain white room with lots of beanbags and cushions (beanbags are FUN!).
Harry: Um, where are we?
Hermione: I don't know.
Draco: *fake gasp* The Mudblood doesn't know for once!
Harry & Ron: SHUT UP FERRET!
Draco: *growl*
Snape: *scowls at everyone and leans against a wall*
Sirius: What's going on?
Snape: *sneers at Sirius* If we knew that we wouldn't be here.
Sirius: Shut up you snake.
Snape: What a weak little comeback for you Black.
Sirius: *snarl*
Hermione: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!
Everyone: *stares at Hermione*
Hermione: *looks at feet* Um….
Harry: Yea…anyone know how we can get out of here?
Draco: I think we've already gone over that Potty.
Harry: Shut up Ferret.
Draco: Um….NO.
Harry: *lunges at Draco*
Fred: Who do you think'll win?
Ron: 10 Sickles on Harry!
Snape: *smirks* Draco.
Sirius: Bad choice. Harry's going to pummel your little Slytherin Snape.
Snape: *growl*
Remus: *drags Sirius away*
Meanwhile, I enter the room and watch the fun.Neville: Hey, who's that?
Ron: *looks from fight* Who?
Neville: *points at me* That person in the corner.
Ron: Snape?
Snape: *glares at Ron*
Hermione: THE OTHER CORNER!
Everyone: *stares at Hermione*
Hermione: *sits on a beanbag*
Me: Hello guys.
Sirius: Who are you?
Me: I'm the author.
Remus: So you're the one that brought us here?
Snape: How intelligent you are werewolf.
Sirius: *snarl*
Me: Boys, boys, no fighting.
Hermione: Draco and Harry are fighting.
Me: *smiles* And Harry's winning.
Hermione: BUT THEIR FIGHTING!
Me: AND YOU'RE ANNOYING! *snaps fingers and Hermione is wrapped up in duct tape*
Hermione: Mrrrrphapha….
Me: Much better.
Dumbledore: Perhaps we should stop the fight.
Me: Oh COME ON, Albus, let um fight. Harry's pummeling Draco.
Dumbledore: That doesn't mean anything.
Me: To me it does. And I'm the author. What I say goes.
Dumbledore: I'm the headmaster.
McGonagall: Yes, he is.
Me: Yer point cat woman?
McGonagall: I AM NOT A CAT WOMAN!
Me: Riiiight. *snaps fingers and McGonagall is a cat*
McGonagall: MROW!
Snape: *smirks* I think she's much better as a cat.
Me: I agree.
McGonagall: *hisses and swipes at Snape's leg*
Snape: *stuns her*
Me: BAD KITTY! *stuffs McGonagall in a cage* NOBODY HARMS SNAPE WHILE I'M AROUND!!!
Sirius: *smirks at Snape* I think you have a fan.
Snape: Impossible.
Sirius: So you thought.
Harry: *stares at me* You LIKE Snape?
Me: What? I like Sirius too!
Sirius: Eww…
Me: WHY YOU…
Sirius: I mean, HOORAY! *fake grin*
Remus: *snorts*
Me: *pats Sirius' cheek* Much better.
Snape: *laughs*
Me: What are you laughing at boy-o? I ain't even started with YOU.
Snape: *blinks and pales*
Sirius: *falls on floor laughing*
Remus: This author is crazy.
Me: CRAZY AM I?
Remus: Er, yes.
Me: *smiles* You're lucky you're a werewolf Remus. If you weren't Herm would have company in duct-tape-mummy-land.
Hermione: *glares*
Ron: I didn't know Hermione knew how to glare.
Hermione: *eyes glow red*
Neville: AH! HER EYES ARE GLOWING!
Ron: *gulp* I didn't know she could do that either.
Me: It's my story. I can do what I want. Like…. *snaps fingers and Hermione turns into a copper colored dragon with red eyes*
Hermione: *roars and flicks out her tongue at Ron*
Ron: *gulp*
Harry: Um, how did that happen?
Me: Me.
Dumbledore: Me, Me makes no sense.
Me: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DUMBLES!
Sirius, Harry, Remus: DUMBLES?
Me: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
Snape: Its extremely stupid.
Draco: *rubs head* I agree.
Me: *sneers at Draco* I never liked you Ferret.
Draco: Feelings mutual.
Harry & Ron: Very much so.
Hermione: *snorts*
Me: What should we do to the Ferret?
Hermione: *breaths fire*
Me: As good as that sounds we can't burn him Herm.
Ron: *frowns* Damn!
Sirius: DON'T CURSE!
Harry: You do Sirius.
Sirius: THAT DOESN'T MATTER!
Me: Sure it does.
Sirius: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!
Me: BAD DOGGY! *snaps fingers and Sirius is in his Animagus form* Much better.
Harry: *stares*
Snape: *smirks* Not much of a difference.
Sirius: *growls*
Me: *whacks Sirius on the nose* NO GROWLING AT SNAPE! THAT'S MY JOB!
Snape: *pales*
Remus: *coughs*
Me: *hugs Snape*
Snape: *pales more*
Harry: *laugh*
Ron: THE AUTHOR HAS A CRUSH ON SNAPE!
Me: I DO NOT!
Sirius: *barks*
Remus: *laughs*
Draco: Even I agree with the Weasel.
Ron: Be still my heart.
Me: *turns Draco into a Ferret and bounces him around the room*
Harry, Ron, Remus: *fall over laughing like mad*
Dumbledore: This is very wrong.
Snape: *nods and tries to pry me off*
Me: *clings*
Snape: GET HER OFF!
Dumbledore: *smiles* Easier said than done. I'm sure you can handle it Severus.
Snape: ALBUS!
Dumbledore: *vanishes*
Me: *hugs Snape* Heheheheh. Your at my mercy now Sev.
Snape: *moans* Why me?
Harry: It's your charming good looks.
Ron: Yea! *laugh*
Snape: *glares at the two*
Me: Everyone can go now!
Everyone: HOORAY!
Me: *evil grin* Except for Sev of course.
Snape: *groan*
Harry: *waves* Have fun Professor!
Ron: *doubles over with laughter*
Hermione: *returns to normal and chuckles softly*
Sirius: *also normal again with a huge, goofy grin on his face* And I thought you'd never find someone ye slimy git.
Snape: *growl*
Remus: *chuckles*
McGonagall: *normal too and glaring at everyone* EVERYONE GET BACK TO HOGWART'S NOW!
Me: *grins* That's exactly where your going Professor. Bye guys! I'll see you all later! And I promise to return Sev soon!
Everyone: *groans and vanish*
Me: Now how bout we have some fun?
Snape: *moans* What did you have in mind?
Me: *waves a hand* Oh, killing Voldemort and Pettigrew and doing some very nasty things to Fudge and that bloody git of a Skeeter woman.
Snape: *blinks*
Me: What? I ain't all sugar and sweetness. I'm insane and I really don't like them. Add in Lucius Malfoy and we've got a full house.
Snape: *smiles slightly* Sounds…interesting.
Me: Good. Want to join me?
Snape: Certainly.
The room becomes empty and from far off comes my insane cackling as I turn old Voldie into a cute little bunny rabbit and turn him over to a vet as a rabid animal that should not be in the wild.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am not only insane; I am also quite evil when I want to be. ^__^ So, what did ya'll think of my insane little conversation? For those who have not read my little bio-thingy, YES, BY GOD, I AM A SERIOUS SNAPE FAN. SUE ME! (yes, that is a figure of speech) =D Moving on! Read, enjoy, and review. It costs nothing and all you have to do is press the little button in the bottom left hand corner of your screen.
Enjoy.
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