Disclaimer: All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.
Plot: Simply? THERE IS NONE.
So far….: Ah yes, Sev and I have been torturing the poor characters and are now planning on doing something abominably terrible to them. Draco was a ferret and Harry was chasing him while Voldemort was a turtle. Everyone else was watching the chase until Sev and I reappeared, along with my friend Lacey and our narrator. Our narrator was unfortunately informed by Dumbledore that Peeves got into the room, along with several potions from Sev's person stash. In the last chapter everyone was affected by the Corpus Inflecto, or Body Change, potion and –well– switched bodies. But now we are being affected by the Amor, or Love, potion. Except for we Authors and her friends…
From now on: We have a narrator! I have to pay him 50 Galleons a day but hey, at least we have him! The narrator will be in [brackets] are character actions will now be in (parenthesis) as Word insists on makes words between *asterisks* bold. Oh yes, and I will now be mentioned as Saerry, Sev as Sev, and our newcomer, my insane friend from the real world, is Lacey.
And the only characters in the room at this time are Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Voldemort, Saerry, Lacey, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Rita Skeeter.
MOVING ON!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[And so we return to the little white room. Peeves has somehow made his way in here and everyone is now being affected by the three potions he left. Let's see what's going on….]
The –Ahem– LoversDraco loves Harry
Hermione loves Harry
Ron loves Hermione
Harry loves –oh my– Saerry (Saerry: WHAT?)
Sirius loves –bloody hell– Volde (Sirius: *cough* Pardon?)
Remus loves Lacey (Lacey: Eh?)
Volde loves –dear God– Saerry (Saerry: WHAT!?)
Rita loves Volde (All: ……)
And now, onto the insanity….
[Ah, this is so amusing….]
Saerry: Yea. For you. WHAT ABOUT US!
Harry: SAERRY!
Saerry: (points wand at Harry and glares) Come one step closer, Potter, and I'll blow you into several pieces.
Sev: Oh, let me do that, Saer.
Saerry: (scowl) No.
Sev: (puppy eyes) Please?
Saerry: (demonic look that is so scary it cannot be described) NO!!!
Sev: (sigh)
Lacey: Oh dear…
Remus: LAAAACEEEEEEY!
Lacey: ACK! (runs)
Remus: (runs after)
Saerry: Too bad there's only so much room in here.
Volde: SAAAAERRRRYYYYYY!!!! (runs forward)
Saerry: (demonic look again) You do and I swear I will kill you.
Sev: And she'll do it.
Volde: (lost puppy look)
Rita: (regains consciousness and comforts Volde) Oh, did she hurt you? Bad author, bad… (glares at Saerry)
All: ……..
Saerry: Ewww…
Harry: Yea. (sidles close to Saerry)
Saerry: (scowl) SOD OFF!
Sev: (grimace) That's not right.
Remus: They are perfect for each other…
Ron: Yea. Both of them are backstabbing little..BLEEP!
Hermione: RON!
Ron: HERMIONE!
Hermione: (hides behind Harry)
Ron: (runs after)
Hermione: Protect me, Harry!
Harry: (watching Saerry with longing look) Why?
Hermione: (runs off in tears)
Ron: JERK! (follows Herm)
Harry: (still watching Saerry)
Saerry: (scowling furiously) NARRATOR!!!
[You bellowed o' Great One?]
Saerry: (growls and shoves Harry backwards)
Harry: Ooof! Feisty!
Saerry: (rolls eyes) When does this sodding potion wear off?
Draco: HARRY! (leaps)
Harry: AH!!! (hides behind Saerry)
[Erm….]
Saerry: (moves aside so Draco lands on Harry)
Draco: Harry….
Harry: EW! GROOSSSSS!!! (tries to get away)
Sev: (grimace) That's disturbing.
Sirius: He's mine!
Rita: No, he's mine!
Volde: (whimper) Saerry.
Sev: (blink, blink) That's even more disturbing.
Remus: LACEY!
Lacey: SAER! YOU DO SOMETHING RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BLOW UP YOUR COMPUTER SO YOU CAN'T WRITE ANYTHING ELSE!!
Saerry: I'M WORKING ON IT! NARRATOR! Solution. NOW!
[Okay, okay… Erm….]
All: ANSWER!
[Jeez, chill out…]
All: (scowl)
[Okay, nevermind. Ah, the Amor potion will wear off in an hour.]
Sev: I have to watch this for an hour?! (gestures at Sirius and Rita fighting over Volde, who is gazing longingly at Saerry)
[I'm afraid so, Severus.]
Sev: Damn.
Saerry: At least you don't have any of them chasing you.
Harry: SAERRY, SAVE ME!!! (runs from Draco)
Draco: HARRY, COME BACK!! (runs after Harry)
Hermione: LEAVE HARRY ALONE!! (runs after Draco)
Ron: HERMIONE! (runs after Hermione)
Saerry: Y'know, that would be amusing if the situation was different.
Sev: (still watching Sirius, Rita, and Volde in disgust) Yes.
Saerry: (frown) Sev, what are you…. (spots Sirius and Rita, who are tugging on Volde's arms and yelling) Oh now THAT'S JUST GROSS!!
Sirius: HE'S MINE!
Rita: I SAW HIM FIRST!
Sirius: NO, YOU DIDN'T!
Rita: YES, I DID!
Sirius: DIDN'T!
Rita: DID!
Sirius: DIDN'T!
Rita: DID!
Sirius: DIDN'T!
Volde: (long sigh) Saerry….
Saerry: Ew….
Sev: Definetly…
Remus: LACEY!
Lacey: (hides under a chair and nails it down)
Remus: (sniffles and sits in a corner)
Lacey: (smug smile)
Saerry: So we've got an hour with this?
[Yes.]
Saerry: (closes eyes) Saints and demons…
Sev: That describes the situation quite well.
Saerry: Yep. (glances at Sirius, Rita, and Volde again) Ick.
Sev: (puts a curtain up around the three)
Saerry: Thanks.
Sev: Welcome.
Harry: SAERRY!! (runs towards her)
Saerry: (demonic glare)
Harry: (turns around and runs straight into Draco)
Draco: HARRY!
Harry: AH!
Draco: (attempts to kiss Harry)
Sev and Saerry: SWEET MERLIN!
Hermione: (beats Draco over the head with a frying pan)
Draco: (falls unconscious)
Hermione: (starry-eyed) Harry…. (attempts to kiss Harry)
Harry: Nooooooo….. Saerry……
Ron: HERMIONE! (leaps in and shoves Harry and Hermione apart)
Hermione: NO! HARRRRRYYYYY!!!
Harry: (runs and barricades himself in the corner with Remus)
(a large, plush couch appears)
Saerry: (collapses onto the couch) How much longer do we have to watch this?
[Its just been five minutes.]
Saerry: Saints…
Sev: (collapses onto couch beside Saerry) Which means we have to watch….
Saerry: …this for fifty-five more minutes.
Sev: Merlin's beard…
Saerry: Saints and demons…
[And now we shall leave the –ahem– lover's to sort things out and Saerry and Sev to watch…]
Saerry: WHO SAID WE WANTED TO?!
Sev: (scowl) WHY DO WE HAVE TO WATCH?!
[Because you're the only one's that aren't either in love or barricading themselves in something.]
Saerry: (glares momentarily at the chair Lacey is under)
[And now we must go. Stay tuned for another exciting…]
Sev: (snort) Exciting my….
[We don't want to know that, Severus.]
Sev: (demonic death-glare)
[Ooookay…. Until next time faithful readers and reviewers and all ye crazy people!]
Saerry: Will you just end it and shut up?
[(pout) Fine. Ruin my fun.]
Saerry: (demonic death-glare identical to Sev's)
[(quaver) Ach. GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE!]
A/N: Stay tuned for the next tidbit of insanity!!! :D
