Disclaimer: All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.
Plot: Simply? THERE IS NONE.
[ FEAR ME, MORTAL ] = Narrator
I feel sick: = Whatever character is speaking
/I don't think I'm wearing underwear/ = Action
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[ Welcome back to the white room! I, of course, the dearly beloved narrator am here, guiding you through all this insanity… ]
Atra: Ha!
[ Shut up, you. This is MY STORY! I am the NARRATOR! ]
Atra: And I'M the muse!
/Saerwy enters and pokes Atra with her scythe/
Atra: O_O Oh no…
/Bryvend follow Saerwy in/
Bryvend: Oh yes. Thought you could get away, did you?
Atra: /scowl/ I considered it.
Sirius: /blink blink/ Who are you people?
[ /whistles innocently/ Saerry's muses. ]
Lacey: Oh no
Bryv: Oh YES.
Hermione: What are you three doing here?
Atra: /shrugs casually/ Reeking havoc.
Ron: Somehow I don't like the sound of that.
Draco: /rolls eyes/ What a brilliant deduction, Weasley.
Atra: /rubs hands together gleefully/ What shall we do first?
Harry: /frown/ How come you look like Professor Snape?
Atra: /scowls/
Saerwy: Because our dear creator has an obsession with him.
HP chars: /rolls eyes/ WE KNOW.
Atra: /glares at Saerwy/ Werewolf bitch.
Saerwy: /snarl/ Say that again and I'll show you how much of one I can be.
Sirius: /offside to Remus/ Oh, I like her.
Remus: /snorts/
Bryvend: Hey! I thought we were doing havoc on THEM, not each other!
Saerwy: /frowns at Bryvend/ Since when weren't you and Atra at each others throats?
Atra: Since we got here.
Saerwy: /raises eyebrows/ And after…
Bryvend: Back to the old routine.
Saerwy: Thank the stars for that. You two being civil is the same as Black and Snape being civil.
Sirius: You compare them to us?
Sev: /sneers at Atra/
Saerwy: /rolls eyes/ Constantly. They're always insulting each other.
Remus: Sounds like them.
Sirius: MOONY!
Harry: He has a point, Sirius.
Sirius: /shakes head in false-disgust/ Traitor…
Harry: /sticks his tongue out/
Atra: ANYWAY…what shall we go to them?
Bryvend: Torture? /grins evilly/
Saerwy: /evil laugh/ Sounds like fun.
HP chars & Lacey: /gulp/
Lacey: Not good. Really not good…
Atra: Y'know, I really don't like you.
Lacey: /sticks tongue out at Atra/
Atra: o Okay. THAT'S IT! /pulls out a thick stack of papers from a pocket in his cloak along with a blue pen/
Hermione: What's that?
Atra: The script.
Saerwy: /mock gasp/ Atra, you wouldn't!
Atra: /smirks/ Of course I would.
Remus: /confused/ Would what?
Atra: /jabs pen towards Lacey/ Erase her.
Lacey: You wouldn't dare!
Atra: /smirks and opens script/
Voldemort: /looks sadly at Sev/ Now why couldn't you be that conniving?
Sev: /scowl/ Possibly because I'm not a power-hungry psychopath.
All: /wince/ Ouch…
Harry: It's true.
Voldemort: Of course.
Ron: /blinks/ Did they just agree?
Bryvend: Yep.
Harry and Voldemort: /stare at each other in disgust/
Hermione: Disturbing…
Sirius: To say the least…
Atra: DONE!
All: Done what?
Atra: Done erasing her. /waves at Lacey/ Bye now.
/Lacey manages to get off a round of curses before she disappears/
Atra: /pockets the script/ Now then – on to torture.
Bryvend: /maniacal grin/
All: O_O Oh dear…
Sirius: Help would be nice… /slowly backing away/
Saerwy: Sorry, no help here.
Atra: Nope. /grin/ Just torture.
Draco: /screams like a girl/
Sev: /bellows/ SAERRY!!
Muses: /laugh evilly/
/a door appears in the wall and Saerry charges in, an unconscious Skeeter in one hand and a long sword in the other/
Saerry: /angrily/ Yes? I was just planning to decapitate Skeeter.
Sev: Without me?
Saerry: /smiles apologetically/ I'd've brought the head back to burn.
Ron: Skeeter ka-bobs
Harry: /laughs/
Saerry: So, what is… /trails off, having spotted her muses/
Bryvend: Oh no… /pales/
Sev: /grins evilly/ Oh yes…
Saerry: /narrows eyes/ What EXACTLY are you three doing here?
Atra: /looks around nervously/ Ah…chilling?
Saerwy: /puts hand over her face/ You just answered a question with a question.
Atra: Is that bad?
Saer & Bryv: /bland voices/ Yes.
Atra: /surprised voice/ Oh.
Saerwy: Oh YES. /drops Skeeter/ She can wait. /eyes muses and grasps the sword hilt in both hands/ You three on the other hand…
Atra: /looks at his counterparts/ Run?
Saer & Bryv: /nod/ Yes.
/the three muses drop down a trapdoor that suddenly opens, Saerry leaping after them.
Draco: FREEEEDOM!!! /leaps for the door/
/the trapdoor slams shit seconds before Draco dives in/
Draco: /arm moves slightly/ Ow…
Trio: /laugh/
Remus: Now what?
Sirius: /eyes Skeeter/
Sev: /eyes Skeeter/
Sirius: /looks at Sev/
Sev: /looks at Sirius.
((A/N: Ya'll know what's comin', don't cha?))
Sirius: /nods at Skeeter/ Truce?
Sev: /nods slowly, an evil grin spreading over his face/ Truce
All but V & D: /jaws drop/
Voldemort: /grumbles/ Now he becomes vicious…
Remus: I never thought I'd see the day those two would agree to a truce willingly.
Harry: /twiddles thumbs/ Well…it IS Skeeter…
Remus: /nods/ Good point.
Sirius: /rubs hands together/ What shall we do?
Sev: Torture?
Sirius: How so?
Sev: Old-fashioned. Much more fun to watch.
Voldemort: /sits in corner and sulks, scowling mildly at Sev/ Why couldn't he have been that evil in my service?
Ron: /shakes head at Sev/ Didn't need to know that…
Sirius: /grins/ Iron Maiden?
Sev: /shakes head/ No, save that for last. I was thinking thumbscrews and hot iron…
Sirius: /malicious grin/ That works too.
/Sirius and Sev grab Skeeter by the arms and drag her off into a conveniently curtained-off area/
Hermione: Why do I get the feeling she isn't going to live very long?
Ron: Because its Sirius and Snape?
Harry: /holds up a hand/ And medieval torture devices.
Ron: Yeah, those too.
Remus: /looks at the trio/ Should we stop them?
Trio: /look at each other/ Nah.
Harry: 'Go Fish' anyone? /holds up a back of cards/
Ron: I'm in!
Hermione: Why not?
Remus: Deal me in.
Draco: /sighs and walks over with a limp/ Whatever. Deal, Scarhead.
Voldemort: Incompetent fools… /sulks in his corner/
/Harry deals out the cards/
Ron: /picks up his cards/ Hey, what happened to that other potion? The singing one?
Hermione: /shrug/
[ Gone. No more. ]
Trio, Draco, Remus: /look at each other/ Okay. /return to game/
Ron: Got any kings, Mione?
Hermione: /smirks/ Go fish.
Ron: DOH!
[ And now we leave once more, going back to our dull, boring lives as the card game… ]
Sirius: /pokes his head out from behind curtain/ And torture…
[ /sigh/ And TORTURE continues. GOOD NIGHT! ]
