Disclaimer: All characters are the property of JKR but the exception of myself and my friend Lacey.

Plot:  Simply?  THERE IS NONE.

[ FEAR ME, MORTAL ] = Narrator

I feel sick: = Whatever character is speaking

/I don't think I'm wearing underwear/ = Action

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[ Welcome back to the white room!  I, of course, the dearly beloved narrator am here, guiding you through all this insanity… ]

Atra: Ha!

[ Shut up, you.  This is MY STORY!  I am the NARRATOR! ]

Atra: And I'M the muse!

/Saerwy enters and pokes Atra with her scythe/

Atra: O_O  Oh no…

/Bryvend follow Saerwy in/

Bryvend: Oh yes.  Thought you could get away, did you?

Atra: /scowl/  I considered it.

Sirius: /blink blink/  Who are you people?

[ /whistles innocently/ Saerry's muses. ]

Lacey: Oh no

Bryv: Oh YES.

Hermione: What are you three doing here?

Atra: /shrugs casually/ Reeking havoc.

Ron: Somehow I don't like the sound of that.

Draco: /rolls eyes/  What a brilliant deduction, Weasley.

Atra: /rubs hands together gleefully/  What shall we do first?

Harry: /frown/  How come you look like Professor Snape?

Atra: /scowls/

Saerwy: Because our dear creator has an obsession with him.

HP chars: /rolls eyes/  WE KNOW.

Atra: /glares at Saerwy/  Werewolf bitch.

Saerwy: /snarl/ Say that again and I'll show you how much of one I can be.

Sirius: /offside to Remus/  Oh, I like her.

Remus: /snorts/

Bryvend: Hey!  I thought we were doing havoc on THEM, not each other!

Saerwy: /frowns at Bryvend/  Since when weren't you and Atra at each others throats?

Atra: Since we got here.

Saerwy: /raises eyebrows/  And after…

Bryvend: Back to the old routine.

Saerwy: Thank the stars for that.  You two being civil is the same as Black and Snape being civil.

Sirius: You compare them to us?

Sev: /sneers at Atra/

Saerwy: /rolls eyes/  Constantly.  They're always insulting each other.

Remus: Sounds like them.

Sirius: MOONY!

Harry: He has a point, Sirius.

Sirius: /shakes head in false-disgust/  Traitor…

Harry: /sticks his tongue out/

Atra: ANYWAY…what shall we go to them?

Bryvend: Torture?  /grins evilly/

Saerwy: /evil laugh/  Sounds like fun.

HP chars & Lacey: /gulp/

Lacey: Not good.  Really not good…

Atra: Y'know, I really don't like you.

Lacey: /sticks tongue out at Atra/

Atra: o  Okay.  THAT'S IT!  /pulls out a thick stack of papers from a pocket in his cloak along with a blue pen/

Hermione: What's that?

Atra: The script.

Saerwy:  /mock gasp/  Atra, you wouldn't!

Atra: /smirks/ Of course I would.

Remus: /confused/  Would what?

Atra: /jabs pen towards Lacey/  Erase her.

Lacey: You wouldn't dare!

Atra: /smirks and opens script/

Voldemort: /looks sadly at Sev/  Now why couldn't you be that conniving?

Sev: /scowl/  Possibly because I'm not a power-hungry psychopath.

All:  /wince/  Ouch…

Harry: It's true.

Voldemort: Of course.

Ron: /blinks/  Did they just agree?

Bryvend: Yep.

Harry and Voldemort: /stare at each other in disgust/

Hermione: Disturbing…

Sirius: To say the least…

Atra: DONE!

All: Done what?

Atra: Done erasing her.  /waves at Lacey/  Bye now.

/Lacey manages to get off a round of curses before she disappears/

Atra: /pockets the script/  Now then – on to torture.

Bryvend: /maniacal grin/

All: O_O  Oh dear…

Sirius: Help would be nice…  /slowly backing away/

Saerwy:  Sorry, no help here.

Atra: Nope.  /grin/  Just torture.

Draco: /screams like a girl/

Sev: /bellows/  SAERRY!!

Muses: /laugh evilly/

/a door appears in the wall and Saerry charges in, an unconscious Skeeter in one hand and a long sword in the other/

Saerry: /angrily/  Yes?  I was just planning to decapitate Skeeter.

Sev: Without me?

Saerry: /smiles apologetically/  I'd've brought the head back to burn.

Ron: Skeeter ka-bobs

Harry: /laughs/

Saerry: So, what is…  /trails off, having spotted her muses/

Bryvend: Oh no…  /pales/

Sev: /grins evilly/  Oh yes…

Saerry:  /narrows eyes/  What EXACTLY are you three doing here?

Atra: /looks around nervously/  Ah…chilling?

Saerwy: /puts hand over her face/  You just answered a question with a question.

Atra: Is that bad?

Saer & Bryv: /bland voices/  Yes.

Atra: /surprised voice/  Oh.

Saerwy: Oh YES.  /drops Skeeter/  She can wait.  /eyes muses and grasps the sword hilt in both hands/  You three on the other hand…

Atra: /looks at his counterparts/  Run?

Saer & Bryv: /nod/  Yes.

/the three muses drop down a trapdoor that suddenly opens, Saerry leaping after them.

Draco: FREEEEDOM!!!  /leaps for the door/

/the trapdoor slams shit seconds before Draco dives in/

Draco: /arm moves slightly/  Ow…

Trio: /laugh/

Remus: Now what?

Sirius: /eyes Skeeter/

Sev: /eyes Skeeter/

Sirius: /looks at Sev/

Sev: /looks at Sirius.

((A/N: Ya'll know what's comin', don't cha?))

Sirius: /nods at Skeeter/  Truce?

Sev: /nods slowly, an evil grin spreading over his face/  Truce

All but V & D: /jaws drop/

Voldemort: /grumbles/  Now he becomes vicious…

Remus: I never thought I'd see the day those two would agree to a truce willingly.

Harry: /twiddles thumbs/  Well…it IS Skeeter…

Remus: /nods/  Good point.

Sirius: /rubs hands together/  What shall we do?

Sev: Torture?

Sirius: How so?

Sev: Old-fashioned.  Much more fun to watch.

Voldemort: /sits in corner and sulks, scowling mildly at Sev/  Why couldn't he have been that evil in my service?

Ron: /shakes head at Sev/  Didn't need to know that…

Sirius: /grins/  Iron Maiden?

Sev: /shakes head/  No, save that for last.  I was thinking thumbscrews and hot iron…

Sirius: /malicious grin/  That works too.

/Sirius and Sev grab Skeeter by the arms and drag her off into a conveniently curtained-off area/

Hermione: Why do I get the feeling she isn't going to live very long?

Ron: Because its Sirius and Snape?

Harry: /holds up a hand/  And medieval torture devices.

Ron: Yeah, those too.

Remus: /looks at the trio/  Should we stop them?

Trio: /look at each other/  Nah.

Harry: 'Go Fish' anyone?  /holds up a back of cards/

Ron: I'm in!

Hermione: Why not?

Remus: Deal me in.

Draco: /sighs and walks over with a limp/  Whatever.  Deal, Scarhead.

Voldemort: Incompetent fools…  /sulks in his corner/

/Harry deals out the cards/

Ron: /picks up his cards/  Hey, what happened to that other potion?  The singing one?

Hermione: /shrug/

[ Gone.  No more. ]

Trio, Draco, Remus: /look at each other/  Okay.  /return to game/

Ron: Got any kings, Mione?

Hermione: /smirks/  Go fish.

Ron: DOH!

[ And now we leave once more, going back to our dull, boring lives as the card game… ]

Sirius: /pokes his head out from behind curtain/  And torture…

[ /sigh/  And TORTURE continues.  GOOD NIGHT! ]