[A/N. In regards to the reviewers thanks for reviewing. Anonymous: I am still divided on the idea of whether or not Ruth and Rose were from England or America. My first thought was England due to the fact that they had English accents, and then I thought it was America because of the fact that Cal was American and Rose said she was being taken back to America in chains. In the end I decided that for the purpose of my story they were English, but they must have spent some time in America at some stage. Snowy Ivy: I don't like Ruth myself and I certainly don't have any sympathy for her either. But I thought it would be interesting to write about what had happened after this for her.]
Ruth's Story.
"Last boat sir." One of the young seamen called as the passengers began to climb aboard the Carpathia.
"Right." A youngish officer who was overseeing the process turned to another sailor near him. "Can you let Captain Rostron know?"
The sailor saluted and then hurried off.
To Ruth, who had been on one of the first boats to be unloaded, everything was being done efficentiely, but not quickly enough. As soon as she'd stepped on board a stewardess had put an blanket around her shoulders and tried to coax her into the sitting room where the passengers were congregating-especially the female ones. To Molly, who was standing nearby watching, Ruth was divided. Her eyes had gone back to the boats bobbing below in the water.
"I'll check the sitting room darlin'." Molly had offered, and Ruth had smiled weakly at her, as she hurried off. Ruth had moved closer to where the passengers were being brought up.
"Ruth?" A woman's voice had asked, and Ruth jumped.
"Oh….Helen isn't it? Helen Bishop?" Ruth had asked, her eyes still on the boats below.
"Why aren't you inside? It's freezing out here." Helen had asked, shivering herself.
"I'm waiting…Rose." Ruth had said simply, and Helen had put her hand to her mouth.
"You mean- she wasn't on your boat?" Helen had asked.
"No." Ruth had replied, and then Helen's husband had come up and taken her arm.
"Come on dear, we must get inside. Mrs. Dewitt Buckater, are you coming in?" Mr. Bishop had asked, but Ruth had shook her head. Until the last passenger was on the ship she was not leaving her spot. The two of them had gone inside and left her there. Molly had come out to report that there was no sign of Rose inside, and she must be in one of the boats coming. Molly'd tried to convince Rose to come inside where it was warm, but Ruth was firm in her resolve to wait.
And now the last boat was being unloaded, and there was no sign of her daughter.
"Last passenger sir." A sailor down below called up.
"Righto." The officer called back down and Ruth held her breath. She expected to see her daughter's bright red hair come up, followed by her gorgeous face, but instead it was an elderly man who was clearly shaken up by the experience as one of the sailors grasped his arm to stop him from falling.
"Have they checked the waters?" The officer asked one of the sailors who was standing near him.
"Yes sir, I was speaking to their third officer, Mr. Pittman and he assured me one of their officers had gone back to search for survivors once the ship was under." The sailor replied.
"One?" The officer repeated. "One boat?"
"From what I could gather sir, one only, yes." The sailor replied.
The officer sighed and glanced around. While many of the passengers were inside a lot were still outside. Slowly though they were moving inside to the respective dinning rooms or sitting rooms. "I best go and speak to the Captain then. We shall probably have to return to New York instead of going on to Gibraltar."
The two of them walked off, and Ruth clutched at the nearest solid thing she could find. Rose had not been saved. Her daughter was dead, and it was her fault. It seemed as though it were so long ago, but in reality it was not, when she'd had a conversation with Rose before one of their meals:
Rose had complained about how things weren't fair, and Ruth had snapped at her "Do you want to see me working as a seamstress?" Rose had clamped her lips shut and said nothing. Ruth had felt terrible about putting so much on her daughter's shoulders, but Rose and Cal's marriage was the only thing which could save them from a life of poverty.
But now, now there would be no marriage, and there wasn't even a daughter. Ruth felt herself grow light headed and then she slipped to the cold deck of the boat.
*****
"Come on Rose darlin', wake up." Molly was leaning over her and Ruth groaned. Of all the people, but Molly had proven herself to be a good person over the last few hours and Ruth no longer saw her as the annoying, "vulgar Brown woman."
"I fell." Rose said.
"You fainted." Molly corrected her. "One of the steerage men out there saw you fall and he tried to catch you but he didn't get there in time. He sent for the doctor and he ordered you be put in here."
"Where am I?" Ruth asked. "I mean, I know I'm on the Carpathia, but where?"
"The second officer's cabin for the moment. When you're feeling a bit better we'll go back to the dining room." Molly said.
There was a knock on the door and a stewardess came in. "Can I get you anything?"
"Perhaps a glass of water for Mrs. Dewitt Buckater." Molly ordered. "And can you please make it quick?"
"Yes mam." The stewardess bobbed a curtsy and hurried off to fulfill the orders.
"Rose is dead." Ruth said hollowly.
"We don't know that." Molly said. "Lie back down please Ruth, we don't want you to faint again."
"She wasn't in any boat- she's dead." Ruth said, tears falling down her cheeks. "And not only that- it was my fault."
"RUTH!" Molly snapped. "Don't say that."
"It was." Ruth said, and she turned her head away from Molly on the pillow, staring towards the small window through which dawn was beginning to break.
"Listen Ruth," Molly said, her voice firm. "I was there in the boat, I saw Rose refuse to get in, I saw you order her to get in, and I saw there was nothing you could do."
"But Cal went after her! Why didn't Cal get her in a boat?" Ruth asked. "Is he here? Did he make it?"
"I don't know." Molly admitted. "I haven't looked. Ruth, please, darlin' don't think this is your fault. Rose was a headstrong young woman, she did what she wanted to do, not what anyone else wanted her to do. For some reason she wasn't leaving that ship then-"
"You mean there hasn't been any gossip about it yet?" Ruth asked bitterly. In the past she'd been the person who had happily gossiped about other people's misfortune, scandals and pain.
"Not that I know of. Now Ruth, the Doctor wants you to rest." Molly said.
The stewardess came back with the glass of water and was hastily dismissed by Molly. "Come on now darlin', have some of this water, it'll make you feel better."
"I don't want to feel better." Ruth whispered.
"Don't make me force it down your throat Ruth Dewitt Buckater." Molly said, her words harsh, but her tone gentle and caring. At that stage she had no idea of what had happened on the Titanic, and it would be a few days before society began to speak of Rose and her steerage lover.
"Please, I don't want it." Ruth said. "I want to be alone."
"I don't think that was the doctor's orders Ruth." Molly said. "And he was a pretty formidable man. You know what English doctors are like."
"Only too well." Ruth replied.
"Is she awake?" It was a man's voice in the doorway, one Ruth recognized straight away. She sat up.
"Mr. Hockley! Cal!" She cried. "I didn't know whether you lived or not."
"I got onto a collapsible boat." Cal replied. "Mrs. Brown, I don't suppose, could you give us some time alone?"
"Sure Cal, but don't let her move too much. Doctors orders are for her to rest." Molly said, and she bustled out of the room.
Cal sighed and walked over to one of the armchairs were he sat down heavily. "I've checked everywhere. She's not here." He said.
"I checked too, as did Molly." Ruth said slowly. "I can't believe it….she's dead." She wasn't going to let herself cry now though, not in front of the man who would one day have been her son-in-law.
"I can't either." Cal said. "I can't believe she chose to die with him, to be with him, rather than me. Sure shows me how she felt about me, she must have really hated me."
"Oh Mr. Hockley-" Ruth began, but Cal interrupted to tell her to call him by his first name. "Okay Cal, she didn't hate you. She was a stubborn girl, and she wanted us to see that she was going to do whatever she wanted to do, regardless."
"But him?" Cal demanded angrily. "He was nothing but a gutter rat. What could he ever have given her? Could he ever have looked after her and supported her?"
"No." Ruth said, and she sighed again, thinking about Rose's comments only before they sailed, about what she thought love should be like: had she found that kind of love with this young man? "Do you know anything about him?"
"Not really. He wasn't listed on the passenger list so god knows how he got his ticket-"
"Probably stolen." Ruth commented scornfully.
"Probably. He showed he didn't mind stealing, taking my necklace, taking that jacket." Cal shook his head. "So Rose must have been into thieves then?"
"I resent that Mr. Hockley." Ruth said coldly. "My daughter was not brought up like that."
"I'm sorry Ruth." Cal hastened to say. "I'm only thinking out loud. I just don't know what happened. I know she was going looking for him, but there was no chance she'd have found her way down to the master's at arms, which is were he was locked up. And even if she did there was no way she would have been able to get him out of there. Lovejoy informed me he was locked up safely and he had the only key."
"Say she found him." Ruth said slowly. "Would she have stayed there with him? Would she have died with him?"
"If he were half a man, which I highly doubt, he wouldn't have let her stay. He would have told her to get up and on the deck, to get in a damn boat." Cal said. He ran a hand through his hair. "Whatever the case there's no sign of her, nor him."
"Jack Dawson." Ruth said, spitting the name out.
"For what it's worth." Cal said, stretching his legs out.
Ruth looked out the window. The sun had begun to rise over the ocean and everything looked so peaceful and calm. It was almost hard to believe that the tragedy had occurred not long back. Just thinking about seeing the big ship slide into the ocean gave Ruth the chills. And now knowing her daughter had been on it with that boy made it seem a hundred times worse.
"You know Ruth, it's a pity Rose and I didn't get married. I would have enjoyed having you as a mother-in-law. I think we see things in the same way, we're on the same wavelength so to speak." Cal said with a sigh. "As it is father's not only going to be annoyed about Rose dying, but about the fact that when she died she took the "Heart of the Ocean" down with her."
"What are you talking about Cal?" Ruth asked slowly.
"The diamond necklace I got for her. I was going to give it to her at the engagement gala but-"
"The blue heart one?" Ruth asked.
"You saw it?" Cal asked.
"Yes." Ruth said. "But what do you mean she took it down with her?"
"I forgot you don't know the events leading up to the whole thing. I caught up with Rose and she kept trying to get away from me, and then all of a sudden she spat in my face and raced off. I went to my room and put a bundle of money and the necklace in my jacket pocked. A little while later I saw her and him lining up to get on a boat, and I put the jacket on her to keep her warm. They wouldn't let men on the boat, and I forced her into the boat. Jack and I stood there and then suddenly she jumped from the boat back onto the ship. And then Jack raced off to get her, but I realised it was fruitless." Cal sighed. "I couldn't find them after that, and when the ship was about to go under I got off and onto the collapsible. I had no choice."
Ruth was silent. "No, you did the right thing." She said. "If you couldn't find her then it was not worth you both dying."
"It's such a shame though. She really was a gorgeous girl." Cal said.
"Wait a minute- you saw Jack with her? Wasn't he locked up?" Ruth asked.
"Yes he was. Well I wonder how on earth he got out?" Cal looked confused.
"So they didn't die in that little room then. They made a shot at it." Ruth said, and she leant back on the pillow. "Even though it doesn't change the outcome, it does make me feel a little better about the whole thing."
Cal got up and stretched. "I assume you'll be staying in New York for a bit before you decide what you're going to do?" He asked her.
"Yes, I suppose so." Ruth said. It had suddenly dawned on her that without Rose the marriage wouldn't happen, and there was no money. The few fine things she'd managed to keep were back in England in storage, but how much would the sell for, how long would the money last her? A feeling of dread crept over her, akin to the one she'd felt once she'd found out Mathew had gambled away all their money, but worse. Worse, because this time she was all alone.
"I'll try and find you and say goodbye before I get going back to Philly." Cal assured her. "Get some rest why don't you? It's been a long night?"
"Indeed it has." Ruth muttered as Cal walked out of the room, effectively farewelling and dismissing her. Now she really was truly alone.
