IT WILL RAIN

- I don't want to continue anymore so, Usagi.. - Is sat there. In that cafes, always the same. A place full of emotions and of memoirs. L' atmosphere, was not of the most pleasant. Out it was cold, the fog was about to lower, sharp pain, and people were never in a good mood.

- I believed you more adult, more person responsible. you have disappointed me.. I Thought about being able to have with you a more relationship. mature. Also I have some demands Usagi.. I almost have vent' years, and I don't want to joke anymore. And' ended the time of the games. the moment has come to take a decision. for your future with me. -, its look was hard, serious as not the I had ever seen. Its eyes didn't transmit me anything else other than. contempt, disappointment, incomprehension.. Me. I was there. difronte to him, the head reclined downward, incapable to answer him, incapable to know how to take a decision, incapable to understand how much him same suffering...

- I am waiting. -, its voice slipped out one note of restlessness and impatience. My hands trembled.. every attempt of mine to send forth a sound went lost in the void. My body had become all one trembling. - Me.. - a weak sound went out of my throat - Usagi! Don't be a child anymore! Me. I pretend a risposta,adesso. I cannot live in the anguish anymore that you.. cannot love me. - - As you can say a thing of the kind! -, I was furious. You, angry with him, with the whole world, but above all with myself. Up to that point I had been distant from him? How can I have been very blind? Because I have not understood what was happening?

- Not.. you.. you are not able. - -I am able, curse! - he was shouting, and this frightened a lot me. - Am living in the shade of an answer that have never had! How. as I can continue to have trust in you? Me. I would never have liked to admit him but me.. -. the eyes pinch Me, I feel them full of anger, of pain. - Me. I Believe that you continue your relationship with me. because you feel yourself in obligation in my comparisons.. because you know that Chibiusa can never be born if we am not together

A lightning tore the sky. I went off standing. Courses toward the door, and I disappeared in the obscurity.

I was angry. I was angry with me, with lui,con Chibiusa, with my destiny. I felt my heart serve asunder himself/herself/themselves as the remorse. I had not been able to transmit him what I really felt for him. I had not been able to explain him what happened to my heart when its mouth, softly grazed mine transmitting me the whole love of which it was able. I had believed to have built a castle on a' high ground, insurmountable, but I had not become account than it was fragile. That weak thread that has held together us this whole time, other it was not but a whisper, silently broken by the noise of the I hate. I feel something of heat and dampness go down down me from a cheek. By now I won't try to stop this tear. As I won't try to stop the others that will plough my face. I will make to continue their course.. because I know, that will have very little time to transmit what they want to say. And me. that I have had so much of that time, it seems me not to even have lived an instant of it.

I have not known how to appreciate every single instant that was granted me.

I cross with the mind every moment of my life as a long Flash-back, while the rain goes down. I am amazed. I had never realized how much the rain could be relaxing. A slice of heaven is giving me, in this other inferno,che it is not but the life. I feel a sense of internal peace. not m' it cares of as I will return home, I don't want to imagine as I will face the tomorrow.. I Now want only to enjoy me these instants as if they lasted a vita.una vita,di which I have never lived a single day. because it missed something. but I was too disturbed, or. too tried for realizing me of it. I have not realized than he was distant from me and me from him. The pain that has provato,e that perhaps you/he/she is still trying, me. I can imagine only it.

My heart is wandering over the immensity, over the endless one, looking for a pardon that perhaps it will never get. vague lost perché,questa evening, the moon not portà to drive him/it.

Rain. untiringly goes down in the obscurity. She knows it. nobody can feel her or to touch her, but she is there, granting that small heaven that is granted, now, to me. It rains concellando every ugly memory that lodges in the hearts of the people, every remorse, every repentance. It polishes up the it animates ridonandole his/her purity. But there is something that not portà never to give. the pardon. the gift of a smile for a long time attended. But this, I know it, it is something that is born in the depth of ours "Me", proud and stubborn, something that needs to seek in the desperation of the eyes, mirror truthful of the soul. something to be sought in the obscurity, looking for a small opening of light.

But I want to keep on believing.. I want to think that, one day, not a lot of lontano,riuscirò to receive that smile, glint of hope and the very craved perdono,frutto of a love, that is not entirely perhaps still destroyed,.. I want to hope in a best future, in a tomorrow illuminated by the rays of the moon.. I Want to hope that.. one day, it will rain...

END

NdA: This small history is devoted to a person, an important person that has stolen the keys of my heart.. A person, whose pardon for me is vital. That same person from which I have slowly estranged, for wish of misunderstandings, of strengths to which we have to undergo. I devote besides this history to: Silvia, that has known how to give me the hope and the strength to go on; to Paolina, that she has known me to give back the smile with her laughters; to Floriana, that has always tried to understand me; to Ludovica, that is my star and it will never stop shining for me; to Simona, what she has known how to understand me after a series of incomprehensions,; to Roberta, that should be at times him of it in silence, but to which want so much good. I hope to have succeeded in making to understand you what I am living, what I feel in the heart. You will perhaps ask you: but why always the mythical couple Mamoru\Usagi? And I respond you that I recognize me as in Bunny, and at times their relationship has been always until too much.. platonic. therefore I like to revolutionize the things. If don't have been happy or satisfied (or done refund?) I ask you to do me him to know, or reviewing this small history or sending me an e-mail to: Pan_z@inwind.it Thanks still to all those people that patiently they read and they review my works (special thx to: Dolcemaia that she has written a sweet ff, and to Mario that always reads the fruit of my sickly mind^^) A kiss to everybody To the next one Pan_z