Chapter Nine
Dinner time. Hattie has already finished talking endlessly. She would have talked for infinity but Mum Olga pinched her thigh and said it was time to eat. She must have smelled Mandy's food.
I went to the dining room in a slow pace just like when I went to the parlor. Hattie, Mum Olga and Olive went quickly to the dinner table. They smelled the delicious food like hounds to a kill. Char was left with me. When I was going, he suddenly grabbed my hand. I was surprised but I didn't fail to notice that his grip was firm and warm. When he touched me, I wanted to hold his hand too. I wanted to catch his hand and kiss it. But I knew better.
"Ella, what's wrong with you?" he asked me.
I felt my eyes reveal amidst the mist of vagueness. I felt my face look horrified. I felt tears starting. I wanted to tell him that I love him. My heart pounded faster. Blood rose to my cheeks. I realize I was sweating. I knew right then that this was the climax of the deceiving game. I pulled my hand away. I have to do this, I urged myself, I have to…
I know I can. Think out Char. Think about Kyrria. Think about the future. Remember the curse, I said to myself as I prepared to hurt him. I warrant that he would be pained beyond imagining. I predict his anger towards me. I saw his eyes that would soon be filled with surprise.
"No-no-nothing Highness. What ever made you think that? Why, nothing is the matter. It is just me. I've grown. I'm sorry to disappoint you your Majesty but I've…changed." I said but I found my voice with difficulty. My voice stammered and my throat was quivering.
Char looked at me with disbelief.
"I know there is Ella. You yourself told me you refuse to change. There's something wrong, Ella. Don't hide it from me. Tell me." Char pressed while squeezing my hand.
No! He said an order! I have to tell him! My tongue started to move but I bit it. The complaints started. My breathing quickened and the room began to spin. Nausea. Breathlessness. Migraine. I heard noisy buzzing in my ears and the floor seemed tilt forward. I felt that I would burst. I lost my balance. I reached out to a chair to remain standing. I was struggling but the curse was just too powerful. A few tears streamed from my eyes and went down my cheeks. Char tried to wipe them away. But before I knew it, I turned head and pushed his hand away. I have to hurt him. By knowing, he will be hurt. There is nothing I could do. He won't understand fully because he doesn't know about the curse. He will think I hate him and that I despised him. Loathe him. The tears ran down faster. I succumbed.
"There is Char. I have to lie to you. I have to move away from you. Please. Leave me alone." I said quickly hoping that he won't understand but he did. His face changed. His face was worried, surprised and doubtful in one time. I wanted to snatch my words back. I wanted to turn back time to the day I was born so then all this is prevented.
"I'm sorry." I went to the table and left him there.
Char just stood there as I walked to the table. He was still confused. I wanted to tell him, somehow, that I really am sorry and that I was forced. I turned back and gave him my most sorriest face. He wasn't looking. He was busy staring at the ground and clenching his fist. He must have been thinking that he was a fool for trying. He must have thought of it as a joke. He looked up and saw me. His expression was hurt but he didn't know that I was more hurt. It was horrible to hurt someone you love. The only one you love.
I felt a pang of guilt. I should must have told Mum Olga that I was out calling! I didn't do it. Because I was selfish. I only wanted to see Char. That's why I strived not worry. That's why I didn't argue about attending. I was selfish! I only thought of myself! I didn't think about Char's safety and Kyrria's safety!
Char. You don't know. I wish you do.
I proceeded to the table, my heart aching and my eyes red.
Dinner time. Hattie has already finished talking endlessly. She would have talked for infinity but Mum Olga pinched her thigh and said it was time to eat. She must have smelled Mandy's food.
I went to the dining room in a slow pace just like when I went to the parlor. Hattie, Mum Olga and Olive went quickly to the dinner table. They smelled the delicious food like hounds to a kill. Char was left with me. When I was going, he suddenly grabbed my hand. I was surprised but I didn't fail to notice that his grip was firm and warm. When he touched me, I wanted to hold his hand too. I wanted to catch his hand and kiss it. But I knew better.
"Ella, what's wrong with you?" he asked me.
I felt my eyes reveal amidst the mist of vagueness. I felt my face look horrified. I felt tears starting. I wanted to tell him that I love him. My heart pounded faster. Blood rose to my cheeks. I realize I was sweating. I knew right then that this was the climax of the deceiving game. I pulled my hand away. I have to do this, I urged myself, I have to…
I know I can. Think out Char. Think about Kyrria. Think about the future. Remember the curse, I said to myself as I prepared to hurt him. I warrant that he would be pained beyond imagining. I predict his anger towards me. I saw his eyes that would soon be filled with surprise.
"No-no-nothing Highness. What ever made you think that? Why, nothing is the matter. It is just me. I've grown. I'm sorry to disappoint you your Majesty but I've…changed." I said but I found my voice with difficulty. My voice stammered and my throat was quivering.
Char looked at me with disbelief.
"I know there is Ella. You yourself told me you refuse to change. There's something wrong, Ella. Don't hide it from me. Tell me." Char pressed while squeezing my hand.
No! He said an order! I have to tell him! My tongue started to move but I bit it. The complaints started. My breathing quickened and the room began to spin. Nausea. Breathlessness. Migraine. I heard noisy buzzing in my ears and the floor seemed tilt forward. I felt that I would burst. I lost my balance. I reached out to a chair to remain standing. I was struggling but the curse was just too powerful. A few tears streamed from my eyes and went down my cheeks. Char tried to wipe them away. But before I knew it, I turned head and pushed his hand away. I have to hurt him. By knowing, he will be hurt. There is nothing I could do. He won't understand fully because he doesn't know about the curse. He will think I hate him and that I despised him. Loathe him. The tears ran down faster. I succumbed.
"There is Char. I have to lie to you. I have to move away from you. Please. Leave me alone." I said quickly hoping that he won't understand but he did. His face changed. His face was worried, surprised and doubtful in one time. I wanted to snatch my words back. I wanted to turn back time to the day I was born so then all this is prevented.
"I'm sorry." I went to the table and left him there.
Char just stood there as I walked to the table. He was still confused. I wanted to tell him, somehow, that I really am sorry and that I was forced. I turned back and gave him my most sorriest face. He wasn't looking. He was busy staring at the ground and clenching his fist. He must have been thinking that he was a fool for trying. He must have thought of it as a joke. He looked up and saw me. His expression was hurt but he didn't know that I was more hurt. It was horrible to hurt someone you love. The only one you love.
I felt a pang of guilt. I should must have told Mum Olga that I was out calling! I didn't do it. Because I was selfish. I only wanted to see Char. That's why I strived not worry. That's why I didn't argue about attending. I was selfish! I only thought of myself! I didn't think about Char's safety and Kyrria's safety!
Char. You don't know. I wish you do.
I proceeded to the table, my heart aching and my eyes red.
