Chapter Twenty

It has been five days since I have read in it. I wonder what's inside. I opened it. Inside was the very familiar script with exaggerating flourishes.

Vanessa.

Dear The Luckiest Diary in the whole world,

How could Mama do this to me? How could she? I thought she was my mother! I thought she loved me! And it is motherly love to drag me away from Frell, away from Auntie Rosanna, and worse of all...away from my Prince Charmont.

As much as I have dreaded this moment of separation, I have no choice but to come with the carriage sent for me. My sister Larissa was with the carriage to fetch me. That is also one thing: doesn't mother trust me to go by myself? But then, if ogres come across the path back to Erima, I wouldn't be the victim! I would simply offer my sister instead. I never had such compassion towards her. Even if she was made out of the same blood and flesh as me, much to my dismay.

Larissa. My blood curdles with anger. Maybe I had been lying to Father and Mother about her dancing with the prince for ten times (Larissa never said anything). She actually danced with him for...a lot of times but I sense it is not as abundant as that wench Lady Lela. If the many, many handsome gentlemen didn't occupy my time then I might have had the exact number. All I know is that she danced with him everytime Lady Lela was away. After the balls, I talked to her personally and asked her why the prince danced with her.

I said, "Did you ask him? Of course you did. You must have forced him to ignore me, and dance with you. There is no other reason! You're not as beautiful and as graceful as me. There wouldn't be any reason, I tell you! Or maybe you didn't force him...you must have offered him a large amount of KJs so then he would dance with you and make me jealous of you! You fiend!!!"

But then Larissa just laughed gaily, and said, "I didn't pay him a large amount of money, dear sister. He asked me himself. The reason why is what I do not know!"

I stood up and glared at her. Then I said, "You dare deny the truth!"

"What truth?" she replied innocently.

By that time, I was getting tired of my sister's denials. I left. She didn't say sorry to me that wench! She is naïve. She doesn't know the difference between her and me. She thinks we are equals. She is not even half as lovelier as I am.

But then, I heard from very reliable resources, that my Prince Charmont would be going away from Frell. I know not where. And I couldn't squeeze it out of him. If he isn't in Frell and I am in Erima, then I would just ponder and lock myself in my room, feeling the grief of parting away from my Beloved, and shutting myself away from the world. I wish Mother had a brain, or a conscience. She doesn't know how much pain was delivered to me when that dreaded carriage arrived. I wish she would fell guilty of her sins to me.

Mama read my letter to Papa. And it's because of that letter I am going back to Erima. "She misses you!" Larissa said to me. It wasn't an explanation. Let it be! Let her miss me! She should care about me more. She is being a selfish rat, taking me away from my Prince Charmont. What about me then? I will miss My Prince!!! Oh dear, dear diary (may I add that you are the luckiest diary in the world being in the possession of the most beautiful Vanessa?), I am depressed and miserable.  I won't think of it any longer. Because if I think about it, I might have insomnia thus be the cause of...dark circles under the eyes and eye bags. And my perfect face shouldn't have those!!! Goodnight diary. I feel I lot better after writing to you.

Yours truly,

 (I am practically sure of this) The future wife of Prince Charmont and (obviously) the future and rightful queen of Kyrria, oh, and not to mention, the most beautiful being ever created, Vanessa

Vanessa. She wasn't fit for the prince! For Char! She was mean to her mother and her sister, Larissa, whoever she was. I wonder, what use are people who act that way to this world? The next page was another diary entry. It was unfamiliar to me. It didn't have the exaggerated flourishes of Hattie and Vanessa, the numerous blots and cross outs of Olive, and, unfortunately, not the fully formed letters from the handwriting of Char. The diary was written in a crabbed, spiky writing—very much like my own. At first I thought it was mine, but I knew the magic book wouldn't be dumb enough to put an entry I wrote. And it probably wasn't mine—I don't have a diary, a note to write, or a correspondence. Then, who was it from?

I fetched my sister today from Aunt Rosanna, as mother instructed me to do. Vanessa went through her dreadful tantrums again, and scared Aunt Rosanna greatly. I suppose she has never seen her favorite niece act like a wild animal. I have seen it always since I lived with her for my whole sixteen years. And I think Vanessa stopped throwing fits of anger because she saw herself in the mirror and found out that her hair was disheveled. I guess the only stopper to my sister's outbursts is a mirror so then she would see her beautiful face turn into an ugly crone's face because of her tremendous anger.

I think Vanessa was a bit annoyed at me. She must have thought I was the fault of her leaving. I do not want to name names but it was my mother who ordered me to fetch her. But then, she threw a blow at me by saying; "If ogres come across our path, I will just feed you to them so then they would leave me alone." She tried to scare me! And I replied by saying; "Who was the one scared to travel alone?" That shut my sister's mouth. I wouldn't care less if my sister were two years older than me. She acted as if she were a baby. I didn't mean any disrespect to my elders but I fear it is the truth.

The only reason why Vanessa wanted to stay with Aunt Rosanna was not because she wanted to see Aunt Rosanna; it was because of her Prince Charmont. (I don't say it was her Prince Charmont. It's just that she always says, "My Prince Charmont") But I really don't think that Prince Charmont notices her. If he does, he might have come calling but he didn't. And I think my sister is angry with me because I danced with him for a lot of times. Or at least much more than she danced with him. But why does she think that? I never cared for the prince. He's actually more like a friend. And what does dancing have to do with anything? And I know, and I don't deny this, that Prince Charmont likes Lady Lela. And I know he doesn't care for Vanessa. He cares a lot about Lady Lela, I can see that.

I haven't spoken to Lady Lela but I know she has to be a nice person having the attention of the prince. He danced with her more times than I. I wouldn't care. And also, I have my eye on an Eriman. Sunflower, I would never put his name here. Vanessa is a snoop like no other. I still couldn't forget the day she read about my old infatuation, Patrick. She wouldn't stop teasing me up to now! And if she found out about him…oh she will die. But really, I wish he would come calling. We were friends after all but I don't think he has any interest in me.

Sunflower, what would I do if Prince Charmont suddenly fancies me? I wouldn't bear it. And so will Vanessa. She would surely kill me! And Vanessa thinks he does because he asked me to dance. I wish not! If that would happen, Sunflower, I would scourge the whole world for Lady Lela of Bast! Surely he likes her more than I! After all, the two of them look good together. Too good! They look like they have met each other long ago! No wonder Vanessa is infuriated with her. She won't stop ranting about it!

Poor Lady Lela! Almost every maiden who fancy the prince (All I suppose except me. I would never fancy His Majesty) despises her because she got his attention! I heard from Lady Hattie that she is disfigured and has a scarred face. She even said she was a bandit in disguise! How utterly pathetic! Then why would Lady Lela go there in the first place? To kill Prince Charmont? No, obviously. Only a big idiot would do that in his court. And if she were a bandit, she should hate Prince Charmont because he is the one who hunts her bandit families! And surely, if she hates him, she wouldn't bear to touch him, and especially dance with him for a whole night! Lady Hattie should think with her brain and not with her mouth! She says she is better than her sister Lady Olive. Well in my opinion, I think Lady Olive is smarter than her. Because a smart person wouldn't say such falsehood without thinking like Lady Hattie and her cronies! But then, Lady Olive is as blank as a potato. And she doesn't say any falsehood to begin with. Well she is a simpleton to be exact. At least she doesn't gossip like the other ladies. Lady Janice said that Lady Lela was a witch. Really? Then why didn't she come to the balls riding a broomstick that flies? Lady Katharine said she is a fairy and bewitched Prince Charmont. Pathetic. I've heard from other people that fairies never do that. They say it's big magic. I've heard also that Lady Lela was an ogre in disguise. How could a huge ugly and boorish ogre become a proper lady? These ladies are becoming more and more ridiculous. My sister Vanessa contributed to this stupid joke by saying that Lady Lela really is the Princess Cecilia, out to find out about the wenches who dare try to steal her brother to whom she was secretly in love with. She dare try to insult a member of the royal family! And she must have not seen Princess Cecilia dancing. She doesn't wear a mask and had the tawny hair like her brother. And Lady Lela has black hair. Dear, dear sister, are you blind? Sunflower, of course you see that my sister is strange. She is.

I wish I could have known Lady Lela. She seemed nice. And of course the prince doesn't go near gossiping wenches but I guess my sister is an exception. And he did spend a lot of time with her.

I should stop writing now. Vanessa, she might notice I am writing and plan to read it.

Sunflower. How many times have I called my dear diary that name? People, when I tell them, wonder why I do.  I just wanted this diary to have a name and be like a real person to confide with. And the sunflower is my favorite flower.

Goodnight.

Larissa seemed like the complete opposite of Vanessa. It was nice of her to reconsider the gossips rather than believe it. And the good thing about her was that she never wanted the attention of Char. Very unlikely to her sister. And I wished now I should have met her as Lela, but I was too busy hiding to know anything. I wonder who she is? And Vanessa too.  I like her. If I met her, we must have been friends.

It was a picture of a young man offering a carrot to a centaur. Char and Apple. A pang of sadness overcame me. I almost forgot about Apple because of the sudden events. I missed petting his deep brown hide and tan mane. I missed giving him a carrot as a treat. I wonder if he could carry a rider at his back. And would his first rider be me? But then, surely, I wouldn't be. For all I know, even if it hurts to think about this, Char might give to another lucky lass who could speak Gnomic or Elfian, and has the same curse I have. As long as it wasn't me. Tears fell from my eyes and landed on the page. It's been a long time since I've seen Apple.

If I were back in Frell, I would run to the royal pastures and whistle. Then Apple would run to me and let me pet his mane. He would listen to me. My miseries, my hardships, and my joy, I would confide to him.

Tears came down even more quickly. I missed Apple. Even if he was a centaur, he was there and he listened to me in my time of need. While Char was gone chasing ogres, Mandy and Apple were my only friends. But now, Apple was gone. And so was Char.

I stopped myself from thinking about it. Reminiscing all this memories would just make me cry much more. And also, even if I were in Frell, I couldn't go to the royal pastures. The risk of seeing Char again was something I was aware of.

I shouldn't see him again.

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Stick this to your heads okay? Because this is one of the few important chapters you must understand to understand the ending of What If. How? Find out…on some other chapter. Or guess it! ^__^

Anyway, you should have guessed it right now. If you read closely and understand…I know you would.

It's weird but I like writing the diary and letter portions of Vanessa. Maybe it's because most of my characters are like her or maybe just Sienna aka The Real Princess.

She's so mean, agree with me! Feeding her little sister to the ogres! Good thing my sister isn't like that! But then, there aren't ogres…

Guess what Vanessa looks like! Or Larissa! It's really very easy and not to mention OBVIOUS. I really want to make them twins so then they would be the same age. But isn't that a cliché? How so Sweet Valley-ish.

I'm really sorry it took a bit long to upload this short but important chapter. You see I've been reading Interview with the Vampire (I finished it in three days!!!) and I've been looking for part two of the Vampire Chronicles namely the Vampire Lestat. Unfortunately, I was stupid and bought the third part namely Queen Of The Damned. And I do not want to skip a part! And there was no Vampire Lestat at all the bookstores!!! The agony!!! When can I read Queen Of the Damned, The Body Thief, Memnoch the Devil and the Vampire Armand!!!? And I really want to read all the Vampire Chronicles!!! I think I will just pass the time reading Interview With The Vampire again and again, writing and completing my fics and stories, and watching the movie Interview With The Vampire (if you don't know, starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas, and the very young Kirsten Dunst. Comment for the movie: Antonio Banderas plays Armand. He has a long black wig that reaches to his waist. But you see…Armand is supposed to be a five hundred year-old vampire who is SEVENTEEN years old!!! And he has AUBURN hair!!! Really, I'm making a big deal about this…of course I am! Armand happens to be my favorite character Interview with the Vampire. You know why? Because he is the only sane vampire in there) the movie channel. Woe is me! And may I add my Internet is whacked?

Okay…I'm really talking nonsense. I'll stop now and say thanks a bunch to those who reviewed. I'm really sorry this took so long! Advice: Do not trust Internet cards. I use those so I could control my Internet time (can you believe that before I actually consumed fifteen freaking hours each day?). It worked and now I have to wait for May so I could have Internet again. Tsk, tsk. And there are no Internet Cafes near us.

Ciao!

tY to the reviewers-------Ironic Paradise, Neko-chan, Snow Pea, blue-angel1204, Spika, cool camzy blue, Ecletus, Faeriegurl, and not sure yet