Buffy and Angel walked out of the Magic Box. It was nighttime. They had
all been at the Magic Box looking up hitchhikers. Buffy had felt cramped
and a little paranoid that everyone was looking at her. Which they had
been. No surprise there. Buffy understood why. She wasn't the old Buffy.
She was someone else that barely talked and was very secretive. The only
person she really talked to was Angel. He was the only one who understood
what she was feeling. Their connection ran deep.
"Buffy?" Angel asked. She looked up at him. "You ok baby?"
"Tired." Buffy replied.
"Understandable. You didn't really want to patrol, did you?"
"You know me all to well."
"Can I tell you something?"
"Anything."
"I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but.. after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again.. do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways.. Every night I saved you." Buffy looked down and stopped walking. "I just wish.."
"That you could go back?"
"Yes and no. I wish I could go back to my old self. Before.." Buffy mimicked running on a platform and then jumping off.
"I know. It doesn't happen like that. I wish it could. You deserve better than this world."
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know."
"I meant.. Our little vacation."
"I know what you meant. I don't know where we're going to go. Wherever you want to go."
"I don't know. Somewhere far away."
"I know where."
"Where?"
"Would you like to go to Ireland?"
"Ireland?"
"Yeah. It's beautiful over there. You can see the town where I was born and grew up. It's peaceful and quiet. We can get a little house in the country and stay there for however long you want."
"That would cost a lot. Too much. I don't deserve that."
"You deserve everything in the world Buffy Summers. And I'm going to do my best to give that to you."
Buffy put her arm through Angel's and they walked to Spike's crypt. Angel knocked and waited for Spike to open up. A couple of minutes later, Spike opened the door.
"Angel." Spike said. Buffy moved out of the shadows and next to Angel. "Buffy.."
"She wanted to come see you." Angel said.
"Come on in." Spike moved and Buffy and Angel walked in. "Have a seat. Got new furniture."
"It's nice." Buffy said.
"How are you?"
"Tired. Cramped."
"Cramped?"
"Everyone keeps staring at me as if I plan to commit suicide or something. I can't take all the attention."
"Other than that?"
"I want to tell Spike." Buffy said to Angel.
"You sure?" Angel asked.
"I'm positive. I trust him."
"Tell me what? You look haunted. I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment." Spike said.
"I wasn't.. Wherever I was.. I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time.. didn't mean anything.. nothing had form.. but I was still me, you know? And I was warm.. and I was loved.. and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or.. any of it, really.. but I think I was in heaven." Spike stared at her in shock. "And now I'm not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out.. by my friends. Everything here is.. hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch.. this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that.. knowing what I've lost.."
"Oh.. Buffy."
"Spike, we need you to take over Sunnydale for a while. You can even stay at our house." Angel said.
"Why?"
"I'm taking Buffy to Ireland."
"What about Dawn?" Buffy asked.
"Spike can watch her. You need to be left alone for a while. Nothing to remind you of why you.. I'm not pumping up my ego, but you need me to help you through this."
"He's right." Spike said. "You need to get away and be loved for a while. Nobody to pressure you and give you crap about getting back to normal after.. Plus, it's Ireland. Beautiful place. And I'm not just saying that to make sure Angel doesn't beat my ass. I'll watch Dawn. It's no problem."
"Are you guys sure?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy, don't worry about anything. You've been through enough. Let's not rush back into being Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I want to rush into you being Buffy Anne Summers. The woman I love." Angel said gently. Buffy tightened her grip on his hand and looked at Spike. "Is this a good idea?"
"The best. Wish I could have thought of it for you." Spike said tenderly with a soft smile. "Go and have fun. Live."
"I'm making plans as soon as we kill this thing that's after Buffy. I'm going to tell Willow and the rest tonight." Angel said.
"Good. You're too good to her. Keep it up. She's getting better." Spike reached over and patted Buffy's shoulder. She grabbed his hand and squeezed gently as if to say thank you.
"Let's go. I'm tired." Buffy said.
"Ok." Angel stood. "It's almost sunrise anyway."
They said their goodbyes to Spike and headed home. No one was there and Buffy told Angel she was going to bed. He kissed her forehead and told her he would be downstairs if she needed him, he was going to wait for Dawn to get home. Buffy entered her darkened room. She paused to look at the pictures on the wall again.
"You don't belong here." A whispery voice said behind her.
Buffy spun to find a demon-mist floating in. She punched at it, but her fist just went through it. It shot out a tendril and hit her, and she flew back against some furniture. She recovered her balance, turned back around, and looked around in confusion. The mist reappeared and Buffy punched at it again. The mist swirled around her and re-formed behind her. She turned and punched again. Still nothing. The demon hit her again and she stumbled out the door into the hallway, into the opposite wall. She turned and looked back at the door into her room. The mist was gone. Buffy walked cautiously back into the room.
"Did they tell you, you belonged here?" the voice asked.
The mist reappeared in front of Buffy and put out a hand. She tried to grab the wrist, and seemed to almost have it, but then her hand just went through it.
"Did they say this was your home again?"
It disappeared again then reappeared. Buffy hit at it with no effect. It swirled around behind her while she was still looking for it in front of her.
"Were you offered pretty lies, little girl?"
It swirled around her and wrapped around her waist. It started to crush her. Buffy opened her mouth and tried to scream. The pressure on her waist intensified and a loud squeak came out. Angel heard it and ran upstairs. Buffy was struggling in the grip of the demon, squeezing her around the stomach. She curled her hands into fists and managed to break free and swing at the demon. It hit her and she fell on the bed and rolled off the side onto the floor.
"Buffy!" Angel started to run to her, but the demon backhanded him and he went flying out into the hall.
Then, the demon stood still. It seemed to be becoming more solid. Buffy lay on the floor and stared up at it. She reached under the bed and produced a battle-axe, starting to get up.
"You're the one who's barely here. Set on this earth like a bubble." The demon said.
Buffy swung the axe at the demon without any effect. And again. The face was a little clearer now. The demon stopped swirling and confronted Buffy. For the first time she could actually see its mouth move when it talked.
"You won't even disturb the air when you go." the demon said.
Xander, Anya, and Dawn rushed up and helped Angel up. Buffy saw them, but was hit again by the demon.
"Go! Take Dawn out of here!" Angel said.
The demon suddenly became fully solid. It looked like the rotting corpse of a woman, taller than Buffy. Buffy tried to hit it with the axe but the demon grabbed the axe handle. They struggled over it for a moment, then the demon let go and hit Buffy, making her drop the axe. She turned back and the demon hit her again. Buffy went down. Angel grabbed the axe and swung. The demon's head fell off.
"That's probably the sort of thing I'm not supposed to see, right?" Dawn asked. Angel dropped the axe and went to Buffy. She looked as if she were about to cry. Angel wrapped his arms tightly around her and she held him just as tight.
"Shh.. It's ok. Don't worry. We'll leave soon, ok?" Angel cooed soothingly. "It's ok."
"You're really gonna go? Now? After we brought you back?" Xander asked as he, Anya, Willow, Dawn, Tara, Spike, and Lita all stood around Buffy and Angel at the Sunnydale Airport three nights later.
"I need this." Buffy said.
"She should go." Willow said. "She's been through a lot in the last few days."
"I say have fun and be merry." Spike said.
"Final boarding call for flight five, Sunnydale to Nashville and then on to New York City." The loudspeaker blared.
"That's us." Angel said. "You ready?"
"Let's go." Buffy said anxiously.
"Bye Buff, we'll miss you." Dawn said, hugging her sister. "Come back as soon as you can."
"We love you Buffy." Xander said. "Don't have too much fun. We got plenty to keep you busy here. Tell Giles we said hi."
Willow whispered in Buffy's ear as she hugged her, "I'm sorry. I didn't think.. Have fun."
Buffy stared at Willow emotionlessly. The rest of the group said their goodbyes and Buffy and Angel boarded the plane. They had a long flight ahead of them. Giles was going to meet them in London before they headed off to Galway. He was heading back to Sunnydale to talk to Willow and the others and make sure things stayed smooth there. Buffy sighed and stared out the window as they took off.
"Buffy?" Angel asked. She looked up at him. "You ok baby?"
"Tired." Buffy replied.
"Understandable. You didn't really want to patrol, did you?"
"You know me all to well."
"Can I tell you something?"
"Anything."
"I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but.. after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again.. do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways.. Every night I saved you." Buffy looked down and stopped walking. "I just wish.."
"That you could go back?"
"Yes and no. I wish I could go back to my old self. Before.." Buffy mimicked running on a platform and then jumping off.
"I know. It doesn't happen like that. I wish it could. You deserve better than this world."
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know."
"I meant.. Our little vacation."
"I know what you meant. I don't know where we're going to go. Wherever you want to go."
"I don't know. Somewhere far away."
"I know where."
"Where?"
"Would you like to go to Ireland?"
"Ireland?"
"Yeah. It's beautiful over there. You can see the town where I was born and grew up. It's peaceful and quiet. We can get a little house in the country and stay there for however long you want."
"That would cost a lot. Too much. I don't deserve that."
"You deserve everything in the world Buffy Summers. And I'm going to do my best to give that to you."
Buffy put her arm through Angel's and they walked to Spike's crypt. Angel knocked and waited for Spike to open up. A couple of minutes later, Spike opened the door.
"Angel." Spike said. Buffy moved out of the shadows and next to Angel. "Buffy.."
"She wanted to come see you." Angel said.
"Come on in." Spike moved and Buffy and Angel walked in. "Have a seat. Got new furniture."
"It's nice." Buffy said.
"How are you?"
"Tired. Cramped."
"Cramped?"
"Everyone keeps staring at me as if I plan to commit suicide or something. I can't take all the attention."
"Other than that?"
"I want to tell Spike." Buffy said to Angel.
"You sure?" Angel asked.
"I'm positive. I trust him."
"Tell me what? You look haunted. I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment." Spike said.
"I wasn't.. Wherever I was.. I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time.. didn't mean anything.. nothing had form.. but I was still me, you know? And I was warm.. and I was loved.. and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or.. any of it, really.. but I think I was in heaven." Spike stared at her in shock. "And now I'm not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out.. by my friends. Everything here is.. hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch.. this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that.. knowing what I've lost.."
"Oh.. Buffy."
"Spike, we need you to take over Sunnydale for a while. You can even stay at our house." Angel said.
"Why?"
"I'm taking Buffy to Ireland."
"What about Dawn?" Buffy asked.
"Spike can watch her. You need to be left alone for a while. Nothing to remind you of why you.. I'm not pumping up my ego, but you need me to help you through this."
"He's right." Spike said. "You need to get away and be loved for a while. Nobody to pressure you and give you crap about getting back to normal after.. Plus, it's Ireland. Beautiful place. And I'm not just saying that to make sure Angel doesn't beat my ass. I'll watch Dawn. It's no problem."
"Are you guys sure?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy, don't worry about anything. You've been through enough. Let's not rush back into being Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I want to rush into you being Buffy Anne Summers. The woman I love." Angel said gently. Buffy tightened her grip on his hand and looked at Spike. "Is this a good idea?"
"The best. Wish I could have thought of it for you." Spike said tenderly with a soft smile. "Go and have fun. Live."
"I'm making plans as soon as we kill this thing that's after Buffy. I'm going to tell Willow and the rest tonight." Angel said.
"Good. You're too good to her. Keep it up. She's getting better." Spike reached over and patted Buffy's shoulder. She grabbed his hand and squeezed gently as if to say thank you.
"Let's go. I'm tired." Buffy said.
"Ok." Angel stood. "It's almost sunrise anyway."
They said their goodbyes to Spike and headed home. No one was there and Buffy told Angel she was going to bed. He kissed her forehead and told her he would be downstairs if she needed him, he was going to wait for Dawn to get home. Buffy entered her darkened room. She paused to look at the pictures on the wall again.
"You don't belong here." A whispery voice said behind her.
Buffy spun to find a demon-mist floating in. She punched at it, but her fist just went through it. It shot out a tendril and hit her, and she flew back against some furniture. She recovered her balance, turned back around, and looked around in confusion. The mist reappeared and Buffy punched at it again. The mist swirled around her and re-formed behind her. She turned and punched again. Still nothing. The demon hit her again and she stumbled out the door into the hallway, into the opposite wall. She turned and looked back at the door into her room. The mist was gone. Buffy walked cautiously back into the room.
"Did they tell you, you belonged here?" the voice asked.
The mist reappeared in front of Buffy and put out a hand. She tried to grab the wrist, and seemed to almost have it, but then her hand just went through it.
"Did they say this was your home again?"
It disappeared again then reappeared. Buffy hit at it with no effect. It swirled around behind her while she was still looking for it in front of her.
"Were you offered pretty lies, little girl?"
It swirled around her and wrapped around her waist. It started to crush her. Buffy opened her mouth and tried to scream. The pressure on her waist intensified and a loud squeak came out. Angel heard it and ran upstairs. Buffy was struggling in the grip of the demon, squeezing her around the stomach. She curled her hands into fists and managed to break free and swing at the demon. It hit her and she fell on the bed and rolled off the side onto the floor.
"Buffy!" Angel started to run to her, but the demon backhanded him and he went flying out into the hall.
Then, the demon stood still. It seemed to be becoming more solid. Buffy lay on the floor and stared up at it. She reached under the bed and produced a battle-axe, starting to get up.
"You're the one who's barely here. Set on this earth like a bubble." The demon said.
Buffy swung the axe at the demon without any effect. And again. The face was a little clearer now. The demon stopped swirling and confronted Buffy. For the first time she could actually see its mouth move when it talked.
"You won't even disturb the air when you go." the demon said.
Xander, Anya, and Dawn rushed up and helped Angel up. Buffy saw them, but was hit again by the demon.
"Go! Take Dawn out of here!" Angel said.
The demon suddenly became fully solid. It looked like the rotting corpse of a woman, taller than Buffy. Buffy tried to hit it with the axe but the demon grabbed the axe handle. They struggled over it for a moment, then the demon let go and hit Buffy, making her drop the axe. She turned back and the demon hit her again. Buffy went down. Angel grabbed the axe and swung. The demon's head fell off.
"That's probably the sort of thing I'm not supposed to see, right?" Dawn asked. Angel dropped the axe and went to Buffy. She looked as if she were about to cry. Angel wrapped his arms tightly around her and she held him just as tight.
"Shh.. It's ok. Don't worry. We'll leave soon, ok?" Angel cooed soothingly. "It's ok."
"You're really gonna go? Now? After we brought you back?" Xander asked as he, Anya, Willow, Dawn, Tara, Spike, and Lita all stood around Buffy and Angel at the Sunnydale Airport three nights later.
"I need this." Buffy said.
"She should go." Willow said. "She's been through a lot in the last few days."
"I say have fun and be merry." Spike said.
"Final boarding call for flight five, Sunnydale to Nashville and then on to New York City." The loudspeaker blared.
"That's us." Angel said. "You ready?"
"Let's go." Buffy said anxiously.
"Bye Buff, we'll miss you." Dawn said, hugging her sister. "Come back as soon as you can."
"We love you Buffy." Xander said. "Don't have too much fun. We got plenty to keep you busy here. Tell Giles we said hi."
Willow whispered in Buffy's ear as she hugged her, "I'm sorry. I didn't think.. Have fun."
Buffy stared at Willow emotionlessly. The rest of the group said their goodbyes and Buffy and Angel boarded the plane. They had a long flight ahead of them. Giles was going to meet them in London before they headed off to Galway. He was heading back to Sunnydale to talk to Willow and the others and make sure things stayed smooth there. Buffy sighed and stared out the window as they took off.
