Buffy woke up to birds chirping outside the window. She turned over only to find an empty bed. She shot up and looked around the dreary room. Angel was nowhere to be found. His clothes were gone and the door was open a crack. Buffy got up and quickly got dressed, a horrible feeling rising in her gut. She walked to the railing on the top of the staircase.

"Angel?" Buffy called. All she got was an echo.

Buffy walked down the stairs and opened a door. It led into a large study with shelves of books in desperate need of a dusting. She poked her head into almost every room before finding a door in the kitchen that led outside. Buffy walked out into the sunshine and saw a bare garden with a beautiful fountain that stood in the middle of a walkway made of stone. A bench sat on the other side of the fountain and Buffy walked over to it and sat down. She was near tears because she couldn't find Angel anywhere. Buffy started to tremble with fear at the notion that the loophole in Angel's curse had somehow reactivated and Angelus was back and he had the Gem of Amara which pretty much made him invincible and that now she was in big danger because Angelus would torment her the most not just because she made him feel human, but because he knew what she was going through and it wouldn't be a hard feat for him to finally break her and then make her one of the things she fought so hard against.

"Buffy?" Angel asked behind her.

Buffy jumped and stood up, turning to face Angel. "Angel?"

"Are you ok?"

"Are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I woke up and you were gone. I thought.."

"The worst had happened. Don't worry Buffy," Angel came over and wrapped his arms around her. "I won't let anything bad happen to you if I can help it. You're back and nothing will take you away from me again."

"I don't want it to Angel."

"Hey, I have an idea. Let's go into town again and get some breakfast."

"No. I'm not hungry. Can we just go back to the house and rest there? I just want to be alone with you."

"Anything you want. This is your trip to help you get used to being back again."

"We can go out later. Like, when it's dark out."

"A natural night owl."

"Comes with being the Slayer. Not to mention that spending three months in a box underground can wreak havoc on the way you see light. Dark is good."

"Coming from someone who's spent 246 years in the dark, yeah, it's ok."

"You're 248."

"Yeah, but we were talking about being in the dark. I started going into the daylight again about two years ago."

"Oh yeah."

"Come on. This place has bad memories with me. Let's go back to the house." Angel took Buffy's hand and they left the old manor.



"Do you think she walked around on clouds, wearing like.. Birkenstocks and played a harp? Cause those are just not flattering. You know, the clonky sandals, not a harp. I mean, who doesn't look good with a harp?" Anya said. Willow had just told Xander, Tara, and Anya that Buffy was in heaven and not in hell like they had suspected. The others stared at her grimly. "What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking, right baby?"

"You are attractive and have many good qualities." Xander replied.

"It's totally not stupid to wonder what it was like for Buffy." Tara said. "But it could have been any one of a zillion heavenly dimensions. All we know is that.. it was a good place and she was happy there."

"And we took her away from that. We wrecked it for her." Willow said.

"We didn't wreck. We didn't know." Xander said.

"We didn't wanna know. Angel knew. But we were so selfish. I was so selfish."

"Maybe we were. I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead. It's.. too mind-boggling. So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive, so, me glad."

"Not to be Miss Psycho Pep Squad, but we have got to stop obsessing about what we did and start trying to make things better for Buffy when she comes back." Tara said.

"I'm with Miss Psycho Pep Squad." Anya said.

"Ah, we need to spend more time with her, just hang out. Maybe have weekly dinners over here, or, uh.. a book club. Short books. Videos." Xander said.

"I just wish that there was a way to fix this." Willow said. "Buffy hates us. Angel's mad at us. Spike's mad at us. Dawn's mad us. Things couldn't get worse."

"Wait till Giles talks to you about it." Anya said.

"I stand corrected."

"I was just saying. He's like her surrogate father. Of course he's going to blow up at you."

"That's why I'm avoiding Buffy's house."

"He finally got in?"

"Yeah. He got in early this morning. Spike called and left a message. Spike already knows that Buffy was in heaven and he's 100 percent gonna tell Giles. He probably already has."

"Any word from Buffy and Angel?" Xander asked.

"None. It's been two days and they haven't called." Tara said.

"She doesn't want to have anything to do with us." Willow said.

"Baby, I'm sure that's not true. She's hurting right now. Angel's the only one of us who can take good care of her and get her back to normal."

"She's never going to be normal again. I thought that the torment Buffy was going through was because she had been tortured in hell. But it's because she's not in heaven anymore. Not to mention that she was yanked out of there by us and then left to dig out of her own grave. I can't imagine how much she hates us right now."



"I don't know if I hate them." Buffy said. "I don't really know what to feel about them. I love them all so much, but to have that knowledge of what they did to me.. It's a lot more than what I care for right now. A lot more than I've ever cared for."

Angel stroked Buffy's naked back as she lay on her stomach resting her head in her arms and looking at him. Once they had gotten home over three hours ago, they hadn't been able to contain themselves and had dropped onto the living room floor in front of a fire that Angel had managed to build before they had gotten wild. Now they laid on a satin sheet from the bedroom with another satin sheet from the second bedroom covering them. The fire had gone down considerably, but it still burnt and provided warmth.

"Give it time, Buffy. Eventually you'll be able to forgive them for it and things will go back to the way they were."

"That's just it. It'll never be the way it was before. Sure, we may be able to act like it, but underneath the surface.. It's all different. They'll always know and I'll always know what they did. What they took away from me. And you know me, when things get weird.. or strained.. I retreat into myself and get distant from everyone. I admit that I do do that, but it's the only way I know to keep my feelings.. My heart.. from overtaking my good judgment on certain things."

"You'll always come out of it though."

"For you. Never for anyone else. If I didn't have you Angel.. it would be the most horrible thing I could imagine. I mean.. God, I'd probably be back in Sunnydale moping around and hiding my feelings while things get even shittier around me and Willow ends up going bad with the magicks and tries to destroy the world and you're in LA still hiding from me or running your own supernatural detective agency or something.."

"You've got a hell of an imagination Buffy."

"It's only because I'm insane."

"You're not insane."

"Might as well be. If a normal person were to go through what I've been through.. Loony bin central! I should be locked up and the key thrown away. Possibly even shredded."

"Buffy, you're not crazy. You'll never be crazy. And why would Willow go bad?"

"I don't know. It was just a random thought."

"Oh." Angel sighed and kissed Buffy's shoulder blade. "Do you like it here in Ireland?"

"I love it. I wish we could stay forever, but I can't do that. I can't have that luxury."

"We can make it our summer home."

"And winter, and spring, and fall home." Buffy smiled lightly as Angel chuckled. "This is what it felt like."

"What?"

"Heaven."

"It felt like this?"

"You're happy."

"I can tell you are. That's the first time I've seen you give me a genuine smile since you got back."

"This is what it felt like. Happy. Warm. Safe. Complete. Loved."

"You're always loved Buffy. Especially by me. There is nothing on this earth to make me stop loving you."

"We made our dreams come true."

Angel looked around and realized Buffy was right. They were on a white shag carpet. They had made love in front of a fire. They were talking. They were talking about where she was.. Had been. "Did you prophesize about this?"

"I don't know. This is exactly the way it was in the dreams, isn't it?"

Angel nodded. "You gave me a taste of heaven. Dreams become our reality."

Buffy smiled and rolled to face him. Angel pulled her tightly to him and smothered her in a fiery kiss. She tugged on his arm and rolled onto her back, bringing Angel back on top of her.



Willow, Lita, Spike, and Xander patrolled the graveyards. All of them were quiet. They were each working through issues. Spike was trying to figure out how he felt about Lita. Lita was trying to figure out how she felt about Spike. Xander was thinking about how to make Buffy happy. Willow was thinking about doing a spell to make Buffy forget her experience in heaven.

Lita stared at Spike every now and then. She kept wondering about how she felt about him. There was something alluring about him. The way he told her off the other night, it was really getting under her skin. She'd never let anyone get under her skin before and Spike had slipped right on in before she could realize it. He was hot, she had to admit that, but he was a vampire. It was wrong to be with him. Sure, Buffy was with Angel, but that was a whole different story. Spike didn't have a soul. He had a chip!

Spike glanced coolly at Lita. He noticed she was staring at him. She was a cute little thing, Spike had to admit that, but she was a Slayer. Ok, he had fallen for Buffy who was a vampire Slayer, but this was a girl he'd just met. Something about her was enthralling and it drove Spike up a wall because he couldn't figure out what the hell it was about her. No one, not even Buffy herself, had gotten to the old Big Bad this way. Sure, Spike had set her straight the other night about his feelings towards Buffy. Spike always knew the reality of a situation, but with Lita, it was totally obscured. Spike glanced at her again.

Willow followed Xander through the rows of headstones. She was deep in thought trying to remember what kinds of spells she could find to make Buffy forget about her experience in heaven and make Angel forget that she had died. Willow didn't want anyone to be mad at her or hate her. She had brought Buffy back with nothing but good intentions. She hadn't expected such a backlash from it. Well, she was going to fix all of this mess. Buffy and Angel were coming back the next day. It had been two weeks since they had left. This would be one hell of a welcome back present that they wouldn't realize that they had gotten.

Xander watched Willow carefully. She was lost in thought and Xander was a little worried about what was going on in that super genius brain of hers. She was probably worried about seeing Buffy again. Just like he was. He had made a silent vow to himself to make Buffy as comfortable as possible when she got back. They had only received two phone calls from Buffy while she and Angel were gone. Each one had been short and distant. But hopefully Buffy was better. Angel had said that they would come home when Buffy felt ready to come back. And now they were coming back. So Buffy must be better and living like she used to again. Good on her.



The next night, the whole gang was at the airport with a huge sign that read "Welcome Home Buffy and Angel!" It was in bright letters and balloons and glitter surrounded the border of the sign. Everyone was wearing a huge smile as they waited. The doors opened and people started to file out of the terminal. They saw Angel first. He was so tall that he stuck out like a sore thumb. Attached to his hand was Buffy. She looked a little nervous, but as soon as she saw Dawn a huge smile spread across her face.

"Dawnie!" Buffy said. Dawn rushed forward and the two sisters hugged tightly. "We missed you so much."

"I missed you guys too!" Dawn said as she hugged Angel.

Spike walked up to Buffy and they embraced. "Hey Slayer. How're you feeling?"

"Better. Still a little freaked out, but hey.." Buffy offered him a small smile.

Xander came up and hugged Buffy. "Hey Buff. You're positively glowing! You pregnant?"

"What!? No!" Buffy said.

"I was kidding."

"I know." Buffy smiled as Giles came up.

"How was your trip?" he asked.

"Interesting. I had fun though." Buffy glanced at Angel. "Lots of fun." Giles hugged her and went to talk to Angel.

Willow walked up slowly with Tara. Tara was the first to hug Buffy and say welcome back before she moved over to Dawn with Xander. Willow looked at Buffy a little desperately.

"Hey Will." Buffy said.

Willow brightened and smiled. "Hi Buffy!" She hugged Buffy tightly. "How are you?"

"Better. Still getting used to things, but better."

"That's totally good."

"I'd like to get home and then go patrolling. I kinda missed that."

"Of course you did."

The rest of the gang said their hellos and welcome backs before they headed out to the parking lot. Angel's car was in the lot reserved for long-term parking. They drove home and put their stuff up quickly before heading out to patrol. Willow stayed after everyone but Giles left to "watch Dawn." Dawn went to bed because it was late and she was tired and Giles went up to Joyce's room to sleep. As soon as Willow was sure they were asleep, she went to her bag and pulled out some spell ingredients. She put the Lethe's bramble on a log in the fireplace and lit a match. She lit the bramble on fire as she chanted.

"For Buffy and Angel, this I char. Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore. Purge their minds of memories grim, of pains from recent slights and sins." She reached into a small pouch on her belt and took out a clear crystal and held it in the flames. "When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast. Tabula rasa, tabula rasa, tabula rasa." With a smile, Willow put the crystal in her pocket and left. What she didn't see was the spark from the fire that landed on the bag of herbs that Willow left lying beside the fireplace. It all began to burn with a green light.



Buffy kicked the vampire in the face and staked him before he knew what hit him. Angel finished off his vamp and turned to Buffy.

"That was.." Angel started, but Buffy had disappeared. "Buffy?"