*Author's note: Sorry about taking so long to write this, but I had finals and the like. Thanks so much for all the reviews! I am thoroughly enjoying the attention :) Oh, yeah, and I forgot a disclaimer last chapter so here goes: -ahem- IdonotownstartreknordoIclaimtoownthecharactersthankyou.

Now then. Enjoy.

If Captain Kirk's ship's cabin could speak (and had been influenced at all by it's resident), it would talk of women.

It would probably ignore the calm time Kirk had often spent there, reverently reading his antique books and smelling the ancient print with a modern nose.

It wouldn't think to mention the various artifacts that Kirk used to decorate the walls, from countless alien worlds as souveniers of great and not so great missions.

No, Kirk's walls would've gotten straight to the point.

Women.

And of all the women, human or other, that had stood in Kirk's modest, silent room, this particular female was far more radiant, more beautiful, more breathtaking that any of them.

So Kirk stood there, staring openly at the golden figure standing in his private quarters, for several moments before he could muster enough thought to speak.

"Excuse me, miss, but what are you doing in my room?"

She laughed, a langiud, spoiled sound that was none the less charming,

"Waiting for you, my leige."

"Your leige? Why are you calling me your leige? And why are you waiting for me?"

Kirk suddenly realized that this lovely vision no doubt was related to his crews' strange attitude. He stared at her with narrowed suspisious eyes.

Her smile faded from her full red lips and she looked at him with the level gaze of a diplomat attempting to introduce negotiations.

"I am come from the planet, Paratimn, forty four parsecs north of your current location. According to the research I've conducted concerning your species, you are the leader, the cap-ti -an of this ship?"

She raised the tone of her voice to become a question, and Kirk nodded once in reply.

The smile returned to her lips full force, nearly blinding him with the gorgeous gleam of her happiness.

"So as you are a natural leader among your own men, I have decided to honor you by making you the second ruling body of Paratimn. The word in your language is "king." You will twine with me and become the King of Paratimn."

She stated this matter of factly, turning her back on Kirk to digest it all while she looked appraisingly into his mirror.

He cleared his throat after a moment,

"I'm afraid that that is impossible," he said carefully, "I have no personal wish to become King of Paratimn or King of Anywhere for that matter."

She whirled around to face him, her face suddenly crumbling with shame and her silver gown sagging with her round shoulders,

"Am I not beautiful enough for you? Do I not please you?"

Kirk reddened, for once losing the confidence with which he normally spoke. He was not expecting this as a response.

"No, no,no,no. It's not you, not at all. It's me. I'm...not....kingly material is all, I swear. You...well, you are very beautiful. Breath takingly, radiantly beautiful..."

Immediately, she straightened regally once more, and showed her sparkling smile.

"Then there is no problem," she said, out stretching her arms toward him, "I have giving you a chance to FEEL the loyalty and rulership that a king does, that is, until your ship finally arrives at Paratimn-"

"You're the one responsible for the way my crew is acting?"

She pouted sweetly,

"You make it sound like it is a horrible thing, my love. I simply wish for you to have some...kingly experience...before we are twined before the court."

Twined?

Kirk choked on a reply, the image induced by that word tangling his thoughts.

"W-wait...wait a minute, miss-"

"Sssssssoooooooooooooooon," she whispered and dissolved into a fine gleaming mist.

Kirk groaned with weary frustration. He sat down on his bed and covered his eyes with his hands, trying to focus on solving the problem at hand. Maybe he could talk some sense into the crew. Yes.

He rose from his seat, and immediately wished he hadn't opened his eyes. His entire quarters had metamorphsed in a matter of seconds. His beloved book collection had changed into a mahogany case of medieval weapons. The various alien artifacts had transformed into a wall full of tapestries and silver pieces. Apalled, Kirk stared at his violated chambers, his mouth wide with shock. His gaze floated over the changes and centered on the wall mirror. A shirt of chain mail replaced his yellow command uniform, a cloak of red velvet draped over his broad shoulders, a saber of glinting silver was the weapon at his belt, and lastly, and the most prominent, a crown of gold rested on his dirty blond hair...

Kirk wrenched the head piece off and flung it on the floor, where it made a satisfying metallic crash.

"I'm NOT your King!," he shouted.

Then, he turned, his cape flowing regally from his back, and stalked out of his cabin with an air of purpose.