Chapter Thirty-Nine
(A/N: This is not the last chapter. :) There's still a nice epilogue…)
Disclaimer: There are excerpts from the book in this chapter. I do not own these excerpts. Why they are there, I'll explain later in the longer Author's Note below!
My gaze decided to rest at one of the tapestries that hung on the wall just across me. I had seated myself in one of the chairs next to a column. It was unlikely that one would spot me easily. The tapestry depicted many couples dancing, I suspected, the sarabande. The man's hand was on the woman's waist, and the woman's hand was on the man's shoulder. If I tore my eyes away from the tapestry, I would see almost the same scene as the tapestry. The music was slow and noticeably perfect for the sarabande. I did tear my eyes away from the tapestry, but my eyes did not linger on the reality infront me. Instead, it found its way to the two persons people were lining up to.
I sighed. When would I be able to show myself to Char? I did not want to stay for long in the ball. I was sure that my purpose would give way for my will to stay and be with Char longer. I knew that I would not be able to hold myself away for long. If I stayed long, I might just ruin it for the two of us.
A lot of people had already taken of their masks. They're reason might be either to be recognized by their Highnesses, or to flaunt their facial assets. King Jerrold and Queen Daria observed the dance with amused faces. There was a fear inside me that they might force Char on Princess Ava, since the marriage would prove to be invaluable to Kyrria and Ayortha. Char had spoken to me as Lela that he vowed never to marry, but that feat would be impossible. So many women fawned over him, and so many princesses would be willing to accept and arranged engagement.
My thoughts were disturbed by a young man who asked for a dance. He gave me his hand, and I took it. I shouldn't impose immobility to myself in this ball. And if Char suspected that I was only saving my dances for him, he might just have the notion that I had other plans for him.
The two of us glided about the hall. While we did, I took this opportunity to observe the dance in a different angle. I could see Larissa. She had already taken off her mask. She did not line up also. She was speaking with two men, and she was laughing gaily.
Hattie was there, much to my dismay. She was her usual contemptuous self, with a smile pasted on her face. She was among the ladies who have lined up for the sovereigns. Her mask was off, unfortunately. She should have just kept.
If Hattie was present, Olive was also. I saw hovering in the buffet. Her plate was stacked high with different foods. Though I was far away, I could tell because of the variety of color.
I frowned slightly, though smiled again. My partner might be worried of me. My plans changed slightly for I didn't expect a major obstacle in my way. I couldn't just approach Char and talk to him alone, where no one could hear us. Hattie would just be some feet away, waiting to breathe down my neck. She might as well bite it off because my existence would no longer be needed after this ball. And if I sure that she hated Lela from the bottom of her little heart, then surely, she wouldn't just leave me alone with Char.
My mask prevented Ella from coming out, but Lela was waiting to be acknowledged. The time when I was the only one with the mask would also be the time for me to be known as Lela, unless Larissa would do something I bid her not to.
Soon, the line shortened. I stood up and went to Char and Princess Ava. I surveyed my surroundings before I faced them. Hattie and Olive were in a safe distance. Larissa was dancing. I straightened up and smoothed my dress. Just one more night of deceit and everything would be better.
At a closer range, Princess Ava was gorgeous. Her dark hair was braided and like Areida's hair. Her lips were sensuous. Her gray eyes were large and captivating.
"Abensa utyu anja ubensu," I told her. I curtsied infront of her.
She curtsied back and smiled prettily. "Utyu anja ubensu oto!" I understood that she said that she was pleased to meet me too.
I reverted to Kyrrian. "Good evening, your Highness." I curtsied to Char. "I believe we've meant before." I smiled.
He was smiling also. "Lady Lela, pleasure to meet with again. I'm sorry I wasn't able to bid you farewell during the Basten Ball."
"It is not a bother. I am very happy to meet you again."
"Why are you here?" he asked.
"I picked a great time to return to Frell. I didn't know there would be a ball, until I was informed."
He glanced at Princess Ava questioningly. She nodded.
"Favor me with a dance again, Lady Lela," he said to me.
My plan was going smoothly. "It would be a pleasure."
He took my hand and led me to the dance. It was a sarabande. When we danced, I cautiously looked at my feet. I made sure he wouldn't see my glass slippers. I couldn't leave it at my trunk. It was too precious to leave alone. At first, it was he who spoke. I had to be brave and do what I needed to do. It was not the time to tell him. We danced a few more dancing before I actually told him. We were walking around the court gardens, just like before. I took a deep breath.
"I've been wondering why you chased that young lady. I do not know her but I wonder," I began.
His eyes clearly showed that he didn't wish to talk about it. But out of politeness he answered, "It was a mistake. I thought she was someone I knew."
"Her name is Ella, am I right?"
He nodded. "She reminded me of you."
"She must have meant a lot to you."
He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know now. She was but not now."
"Is she the reason why you resolved not to marry?" I asked cautiously. This question would either end Lela and Char's friendship or be a stepping stone to success.
He surprised me by nodding. He must have trusted me—Lela—so much!
"I do not say this for my own advantage, but why do you affect yourself so? You cannot let her get to you so greatly."
"Why not?"
"Because it would not do you good."
"It won't do me good but it would give me pleasure in doing it."
"Pleasure?" I asked. "Do you call depravity pleasure?" I suddenly bit my tongue. "I'm sorry, Char, I spoke too much."
He was forgiving. "It's alright. Lately, many people have been asking me about that incident."
"Please." I clasped his hands. "Please promise me as a friend that you will not be affected by her actions."
He stared back into my eyes. "I promise but why do you care about it so much, Lela?"
I laughed. "I'm your friend, and like any other person I worry."
He laughed too. 'Well, then promise me you will stop worrying much."
"I promise. I think we should return. So many ladies would be wishing to dance with you."
He sighed. "Yes."
We went back inside. I let him dance with another lady. He turned to look at me.
I sat down on a chair. There, it was done. He would have no more worries about me. He would not think of me now. He would forget about Ella. My heart ached with sadness. When he ran after me, I was happy, in a way, because it meant he still cared for me. It meant that there was this place in his heart for me. But it would be gone soon, and it was all my doing. It was for the greater good. If I couldn't make myself happy with him, he should just be happy with another. It would hurt me but I would be assured that I did not ruin his life.
Someone sat beside me. In my revulsion, I found out it was Hattie.
"Lady Lela, I presume?"
"Yes, Lady Hattie?"
She nodded, a smile pasted on her features. She might as well paste a new face instead of a smile. Her face was like a looming ugly mask.
"Lady, I was wondering why your hands are on my Charmont again."
"He is not yours, Lady Hattie. He told me himself."
She answered me in a tone so annoying. "Of course he'd say that! We are secretly engaged."
"It must have been such a great secret because he himself doesn't know," I replied.
Hattie clenched her fists but still managed to smile. Although it seemed wider and forced. "You mock me, Lady Lela? You mock me, your future queen?"
I tried to remain my calmness yet at that moment I wished I could do more and punch her in the face. I hadn't done it for a long time but I was sure I could make her nose bleed. "I do not mean to mock, Lady Hattie. I speak nothing but the truth, but unless you are insulted by it, I suggest you not listen."
"If I cannot use my ears, I might as well use my eyes." She said, thickly and sweetly, "May I see your face, Lady Lela?"
The dance ended and Char made his way to me. I stood up. "I'm afraid I must cut this conversation short, Lady Hattie." He was nearing.
"Another dance, Lela?" he asked me. He didn't acknowledge Hattie.
"Of course," I replied happily. I was now able to escape Hattie's claws. "Good evening Lady Hattie."
Char bowed to her. "Excuse us."
I saw Larissa look at me with revelation. She must have realized why I had issued unusual orders to her. She was near me, and speaking with a young man. I was so happy to dance with Char for another precious time that I didn't realize that Hattie had jumped up and screamed with fury, "I demand that you take off that mask, you scheming wench!"
Her voice echoed about the hall, making everyone look at our direction. For once, she had lost her forced composure. Larissa's mouth was open. Suddenly it was all wrong. All the guests were staring at the spectacle we were causing.
I froze trying not to follow her order. I closed my eyes and forced myself not to follow her.
"How dare you speak to her that way, Lady Hattie!" Char reprimanded Hattie angrily.
Hattie was equally furious. "She spoke to me in the very same manner, your Majesty!"
I was deaf to other noises. I was nauseated and the great hall was suddenly confining and suffocating. I was dizzy. I was breathing hard.
Char managed to ignore Hattie and turned his attention to me. "Are you feeling well, Lela?"
I could see Larissa approached.
My hand went up and touched my mask. No! I was shaking badly. I was biting my lip…I mustn't take it off.
Larissa was suddenly beside me. "El—Lady Lela, are you alright?'"
"Lela?" Char was asking. "You need not take off your mask." I wished he made into an order!
I couldn't take the complaints anymore. It was pounding on my head. I turned my back to them. If I were to give up on the curse, then I might as well prevent it from doing more harm.
My hand found its way back at my mask. And involuntarily, I pulled it off. Hattie could see me and she was purple with anger.
"You are a scheming wench!" Hattie shrilled. "You dare come back here after running away like that! Fleeing like the wind then coming back like a storm just to wish me ill!!!"
"Speak no more, Lady Hattie!" Char demanded.
I felt Char's hand on my shoulder. I only have to turn my back to show him my face.
I shook my head. I moved forward, planning to run without Char seeing my face. I was about to run when Larissa ruined everything.
"Ella, what are you doing!?" Larissa screamed. What was she doing??
"Ella!" Char's voice. It was all going wrong… Char was not suppose to know that Lela was Ella!
I turned around and pushed him away. I was covering my face so then he wouldn't see. The path cleared for me and all those who watched were wondering what was actually happening. As I ran, my root foot suddenly went cold for some reason. I ignored it.
I could hear Hattie screaming again. "Nooooo!!! Don't follow her!!!!!!"
"Shut up you ugly oaf!!!!! And let him go!!!!!" Larissa was shouting in a furious voice.
"What is happening??" a lady wailed in the background.
"Quiet down Beatrice!!" another lady reprimanded.
"I want to know too!!!" a whining voice surfaced from the murmurs.
King Jerrold's voice was above all others. "Explain yourselves!" Yet no one could answer him.
Char was the only one not shouting. I turned to look at him one last time. He was being embraced by Hattie so then he couldn't run after me. "Don't run away Ella!" he managed to tell me in a loud voice.
This cursed gift!!! I stopped immediately as if there was a wall infront me. I stared down at the floor. But there was an option. He said not to run away… Instead, I walked away. I was walking faster and faster. I was not going anywhere fast but I was still going.
I was almost at the exit when Char finally got free of Hattie's powerful grasp. I willed myself to move faster…or at least escape him! I felt someone grasp my hand. The hand was small; it was not Char's.
It was Olive's. She was staring at me blankly. "You're back. Bake me a white cake."
"What?" My jaw dropped. I was in the middle of life and death and Olive was there asking me to bake her white cake. "You want me to bake you a cake at this moment??" I was furious and confused. I wanted so much to kill Olive right now.
She ignored me. "And bake it quickly. I want you to bake it now."
My hands were suddenly moving. There was an escape! I just had to bake white cake for Olive in some other place. And quickly. I ran. I intended to go somewhere secluded but my feet led me to the inner castle. In cold dread, I realized that I was involuntarily searching for the kitchen to fulfill Olive's request.
No one made a move to follow me when I methodically searched for the kitchen. I blended in with the crowd quickly. I was walking, all alone in the castle. My mind was asking, "Where is the kitchen?" I couldn't stop. I must bake Olive a white cake. Suddenly, a hand took mine. I whirled around expecting Olive but in my horror it was Char. My head was aching suddenly. Must bake white cake, it told me irritably.
"Tell me now why you are here," Char said to me. His voice was firm but trying to calm me down.
My head was pounding. I knew my face was horrified. "I wanted to go to a ball!" I answered him hysterically. The curse was making me go insane! In my mind was a recipe for white cake. Flour…water…sugar…
Char's hand gripped my hand firmly. "You're not telling the truth."
"Of course she's not telling the truth!!! She's a lying witch!!!" Hattie charged on us. She was fuming. I was actually surprised to see her angry.
Larissa was on her heels. "You are the lying witch!!" she retorted.
I was swinging on my feet, back and forth. My head was aching. I couldn't breathe. I was clutching at my chest, trying to pull myself together. I could see ladies following spying on the four of us. They were the gossip hungry wenches. Char noticed my strange behavior and he immediately focused his attention to me.
"Tell me what is happening to you," he said to me.
I almost wanted to laugh. So many orders in just one night! "I can't…breathe…dizzy…head aching…" I managed to gasp out. I leaned against the wall.
"Why?" he asked me. His eyes showed the greatest concern. I shook my head. "Tell me why."
The only answer was the curse, and I was forbidden to tell him. Two orders were inside me, fighting their way to win. The first was my mother's order. Do not tell anyone about the curse. The other was Char's order. It was making me sicker and sicker.
I shook my head, forcing myself to obey my mother's order. My will made me disobey Char's order…it helped but the curse was still pushing me. I was trapped between two orders, and I couldn't take it anymore.
"Why can't you tell me?" he demanded. Behind him, I could see Larissa and Hattie having a spat.
"I…just…can't…" I answered. Then his order took control. "I—have—this—cur—" I placed my mouth over my mouth. My mind was in confusion. Follow her order. Follow his order. Make white cake.
I was suddenly crying. I was losing him the hard way. I was making him think I was insane… And worse of all, I had to be there to see him. I had to be there to make him not love me. I was there—not as Lela but Ella.
He was surprised I was crying, but at the same time, he seemed joyful. His joy temporarily made me ignore my terrible complaints. Time stopped when I stared into his happy face, his face that was happy for me.
"You were trying to prevent something from happening to me…that's why you always run away…" I couldn't help it, I nodded repeatedly. More tears fell. He would soon find out that I loved him…why else would I do so if I didn't? There was hope in his face… "The letter was rubbish, a trick. You lied to me when we met before. You tried to keep me away from you. But why?" His look was probing, searching for answers. He turned and glared at Hattie, who was open-mouthed in shock. Larissa's face was troubled. He looked back at me.
"Do you love me?" He still spoke softly. "Tell me."
An order. "I do." I was sobbing and smiling at once. How was I going to give him up again?
Char was jubilant but it didn't last long. "You love me, but can you marry me?"
I was crying so hard. He was asking me to marry him! I wanted to say yes, yes, yes! But no, I would rather die than say that. This was already my free will, I could say yes or no. "No, I can't."
The look on his face hurt me more than ever. He was disappointed, no, there were no words to describe his expression. But he nodded, slowly, painstakingly. He couldn't look at me in the face. "If you can't, then at least tell me why."
His previous order came ten times more powerful. I staggered. My knees were buckling and the ground seemed to shake. Too many orders…too many thoughts… I felt him kneel beside me.
"Stop whatever you are doing!!" someone screamed. My mind registered this as an order from me and then suddenly, all the complaints vanished. I even stopped crying. I realized that it was Larissa screaming. She was trying to push Hattie away from Char and I.
"Ella, I love you too much to even try and understand your actions…" he whispered in my ear. "Marry me." I started to weep. I was shaking my head, shaking it so much that my hair was in disarray. I was shaking my head but my hand found its way to his.
"Nooo!!!!" Hattie cried. Her dim-witted mind seemed to understand what had happened. Larissa pushed her out of the way.
"You are deafening everyone within earshot!" she shouted at Hattie.
Hattie ignored her. "No!!! Don't marry him Ella!"
Larissa was dumbfounded. She whirled and stared at me then at Char.
I withdrew my hand. "I can't." Thank you Hattie!
I should have explained things more clearly to Larissa. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" she hollered. "Why are you following this unpleasant conniver?? You will marry Char, Ella!! You love him!"
Ignorance was bliss, but in this case, it was trouble. I would be more than glad to marry Char but I would die first. I could not risk him…I mustn't obey Larissa… But the curse was pressing on me, telling me I should.
Hattie suddenly became cunning. "Yes! Marry him so we will be part of the royal family!"
No! My marriage would make Hattie and Mum Olga grand, and Olive would be swimming in wealth. They would take advantage of my love for Char.
Char.
I looked at him. He was looking at me with such gladness, and I loved him so. I was the cause of his joy and would be the cause of his destruction: a secret delivered to his enemies, a letter written in my own hand, a covert signal by me, poison in his glance, a dagger in his ribs, a fall from a parapet.
"Marry me, Ella," he said again, the order a whisper now. "Say you'll marry me."
I wanted so much to obey. I could see us together, bound together by love and fidelity. I could see our future children and grandchildren. I could see us sliding down the castle stair rails. I could see us together, until the end of time…but my imaginings were darkened by the shadow of the curse. It was looming, enveloping all my dreams and hopes of ever achieving something that would just make my life perfect no matter what. I could no longer see the children and grandchildren, the sliding down the castle stair rails…I couldn't even see us together. I saw death for him… I only saw pain… That was all I could bring: momentary happiness then overwhelming despair.
My thoughts made me cry harder.
You will be happy and be with him. You will love him until the end of time, and he will do the same to you. He is offering you a world of happiness and bliss in two words. Now offer him your own world of happiness and bliss in one word. Say yes.
No… If I say yes I would only bring him death. Destruction for him and Kyrria… I'm not selfish enough to do that. I love him so much…much more than anyone could even think…and I love him enough to let him go for his sake!
My mouth opened, but I clamped my mouth on it. I cried harder. Say yes! Say yes! I placed my hand on my throat, pressing on it, as if to stop the flow of words. I tried to swallow my tongue. My other hand was still clamped on my mouth. A muffled scream came out from me.
He put a hand on my shoulder. I must have frightened him. Frighten him! Drive him away! Just make him take back those words!!
I stayed within myself where I saw flashes of my curse. The race, the berries, the ogres, the princesses. The stepfamily, the slavery, the torture, the Tonic, the finishing school, the parrot, the hunger, the dancing, the singing… I almost died because of the curse. I felt like a puppet on a manners show because of the finishing school. I lost a race, ate the sourest of berries, became an ogre… I was forced to clean the floor. I was humiliated by Hattie and her cronies. I was dancing like a fool. I was prevented even the smallest of comforts, even a decent bar of soap, I was refused. I tolerated this all. I endured all of this. I did what they wanted me to do.
But not now! Not today!
I was sitting on the floor, weeping and lost in a flurry of memories, orders, and forced submissiveness. Words kept on trying to come out, but I kept them in. I focused my mind on not saying yes. It didn't matter if I did say something, as long as it wasn't a yes.
Everything was taken from me but not Char. I might be taken out of Char's world, but I would not be the one to take his life out of this world. He would not die because of his love for me! No! Yes! No! Yes!
You love him don't you? He loves, you love him, why don't you two get married? A tempting voice said.
I shook my head.
My cheeks were sticky with sweat and tears.
Char, Larissa, and Hattie could only wonder what was happening to me.
I pushed out all my thoughts and only thought of one thing: I must save Char. No matter what it took, I must. I thought of him. I saw him laughing with me. I saw him comforting me. I saw him catching Apple for me. I saw him save me from the ogres. I saw him chase after me. I saw him pursue me. And right now, I saw him waiting for my answer.
He had gave me many things. He had risked himself for me. And now I would.
I stayed in that one spot. Lucinda's gift could not touch me. No, my feelings for Char were too strong. I found my will and determination much stronger than all the times I had defied the curse.
My mouth opened.
"No! I won't marry you! I shan't, I won't!" My voice bounced back from the walls. I wiped away my tears with my skirt. I stood up. I glared at Hattie. "I will not marry him! I don't care if he's the prince! I don't care! I shan't marry him!"
Hattie glared back at me. "No! You will marry him, and you will make me a princess!" She laughed.
"No!" I screamed at her. "Stop ordering me things I don't want to follow!!"
Larissa was surprised. "Ella, what are you doing?"
"Something I must have done before all this got out of hand!" I turned to Char. I threw my arms around his neck. "I shan't marry you." I kissed his cheek. He was safe from me.
He turned my head and kissed me on the mouth. The kiss swept through me, and I clung to him, trembling.
Hattie was going ballistic and Larissa was laughing at her.
"Why won't you marry me? Why not, if you love me?"
"I'm cursed to obey everything! You will not be safe with me as your wife!" I stopped. How could I have said this? I was forbidden…Mother…
Then in a rush of revelation, I realized that I had defied Hattie's orders. I looked at Char. He was so handsome, smiling from our kiss, but frowning in confusion. Saving him made him more mine than ever.
I didn't say yes… I said no to an order… Was the curse broken? There was a different feeling in me. I felt that I could do anything. I felt that there was no longer a chain depriving me from doing something.
"Quick!" I said to no one in particular. "Tell me to hop on one foot!"
"What?" Char asked.
"You wench!!!!!" Hattie kept on wailing.
Larissa clamped her hand on Hattie's mouth. "Hop on one foot, Ella," she said exasperatedly. She was puzzled and exhausted.
I waited for the complaints to start. I waited for myself to hop on one foot. I smiled ecstatically. The curse was broken! Char and Kyrria was the solution for these were the two things I knew should not be lost. And Char because I loved him…
I was new to myself. There was no more curse. I was truly myself now, not someone forced. I was Ella, not Lela or Elalaine. I was not the scullery maid, inn girl, or runaway. I was Ella. I was not the dummy of the people around me.
I curtsied to Char. "When you asked for my hand a few minutes ago, I was still too young to marry." I looked up at him and I saw a smile start. "I'm older now, so much older that not only can I marry, but I can beg you to marry me."
He smiled. " I know but—" then he took out something he kept. It was my glass slipper. All the fuss had made me forget about my right foot suddenly getting cold. It seemed that I had forgotten about it. "—you seemed to have dropped this."
He knelt down and guided my foot to the slipper. It fit perfectly. I took his hand and lifted him up. I couldn't let him kneel down for me.
He kissed me suddenly and I kissed him back. This kiss symbolized that our lives were now entwined and would forever be like that.
~*~
OMG!!! I like this chapter! It's kind of whacked out but I enjoyed writing it! I'm very sad that this fanfic would come to an end with the epilogue.
I'll write a longer goodbye note on the epilogue. ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
You realized the familiar lines/paragraphs. You're not dreaming about it. I included it there because these lines were special to Ella. I also included those lines because I just love it!! It touches my heart…
Especially: He was so handsome, smiling from our kiss, but frowning in confusion. Saving him made him more mine than ever.
But of course I tweaked it a bit. Wouldn't it seem strange if he suddenly had soot on his nose? Right?? Right.
Ok…I'm sorry it took long. MAJOR CLIFFIE. But the wait was worth it right?
It's just that I am so incredibly harassed by junior year. Chem, geom, social…you cannot believe my sked. And I'm also included in the Core of my club…busy busy!!!
I hope you wait for the epilogue. It'll tie things together!!
And it's the last chapter…so it's sentimental… ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
Thanks to the reviewers for going with the flow of 39 chapters!!! I love you so much!!!!!
