**********
Thank you to all who reviewed, due to a small bought of stupidity, I
managed to clear all my original reviews....not to mention my story. The
story was easy enough to restore, the reviews on the other hand, well let
us just pause and have a moment of silence for those reviews lost forever
due to my brain fart. (pause) Thank you. One last thing, thank you, thank
you, thank you, Browneyeez, you have been really great! Now on with the
show.
****************
Mac's POV:
I am going home. It wasn't too long ago that I didn't think I would ever be able to say those words again.
It has been one whole week since the night that Harm came into my room and held me. Only one week, and yet if feels like a lifetime of experiences have taken place in that time. I have been forced to see a therapist that specializes in POW's. I have seen her every day for seven days. She has told me what to expect when I go home. I should not expect to feel like I fit where I use to fit. It is normal to want to pull away from friends, to retreat into myself. She has said that that is okay to do up to a point, and I need to be very careful I do not pull too far away. It may feel like people are looking at me differently, that they are staring at me, she says this will be mostly in my head. When I first come back people are going to look at me, but in the weeks and months to follow they will only see me as normal again. It will be only me that feels otherwise. She says, she says, she says....she says a lot of things. In all that she says, she has never said the one thing I need to hear. She cannot say that I am not responsible for losing those under my command. A commander is always responsible; she cannot tell me how to live with that responsibility. That is something I will have to deal with everyday for the rest of my life.
I am jolted out of my melancholy thoughts by the sound of the door opening. I look up to see Harm enter my room, his flyboy smile lighting his way.
"Hey, you ready to get out of here?" He stands in front of me smiling, waiting for an answer.
I am not sure how to answer him. Part of me longs for the familiar places and people of home, but the other part... The other part is scared to hell of facing those beloved people, of having to make small talk, of answering their questions, of telling them I am fine.
I guess my emotions have been evident on my face, or maybe he just knows me too well, either way Harm's face softens into a gentle look of concern. He steps closer to me and engulfs me in a tender hug.
"Hey, Ninja-girl. This isn't going to be easy, but it will be okay. I am going to be right by your side, whatever comes. I am not going anywhere, okay?"
I had wrapped my arms around his waist when he hugged me, and now I tightened my grip fractionally. I nodded against his chest, and take a deep breath. Time to suck it up Marine, I tell myself. I am going to give the Corps a bad name relying on a Squid so much. I smile, oh well, I guess the Corps will just have to live with it. I pull back from Harm's embrace, pick up my coat, and together we walk out the door.
***************** *****************
Harm's POV
As we make our way to the Hospital Lobby, I keep my arm around Sarah's shoulders, being careful not to put pressure on her either of her wounds. Her chest wound near her right shoulder is still very tender, while the wound to her right arm is healing faster than the doctors had expected. The rest of her body is healing as well. The bruises that were angry red, blues, purples and black when I arrived have slowly faded to lighter shades of blues, green, and yellow. The cuts and burns that had been inflicted upon her are also healing over and much less noticeable than when I arrived.
I keep my arm around her for several reasons. First, I know she needs the added support and encouragement. It is scary for her, after a month of hell, and only one week of recovery, to be expected to go back to life the way it use to be. Secondly, I am selfish. I want to feel her close to me. I want to know that I can protect her, I want to protect her. I want to make sure that nothing will ever cause Sarah Mackenzie pain again.
I am relieved that we are going home. I think that it will do Mac good to be in her own apartment, to sleep in her own bed. She needs to remember the good and normal things of life. Although we haven't specifically talked about it, we both know that our relationship has changed. I don't think we need to talk about it. As I look over the past I feel that maybe some of the problem was that we talked too much about it. We have now just accepted it and are treasuring it for the gift it is. I know she loves me, and she knows I love her. There is where is begins and ends. It isn't complicated, it is love.
I sigh and mile at that thought, as I hold the door open for her. I glance down at her as she steps out in to the sunlight. Mac closes her eyes for a moment and breaths in the fresh warm air. I smile at her, I can't help it, she is the most beautiful thing I will ever see.
I know that in the weeks and months ahead of us there will be much pain and confusion, we will deal with that when it comes. We will take each day one hour at a time, and go from there. This hour of this day consists of taking the first step into the future, together.
************
ATTN: (note from Fiona) sorry so short, I will post more in the next day or two I promise. Oh and Webb will get his answers as well. Thanks for reading, please take a moment to review. (the button is just down in the left hand corner of your screen, that is right you see it, now go click on it.) ;)
Mac's POV:
I am going home. It wasn't too long ago that I didn't think I would ever be able to say those words again.
It has been one whole week since the night that Harm came into my room and held me. Only one week, and yet if feels like a lifetime of experiences have taken place in that time. I have been forced to see a therapist that specializes in POW's. I have seen her every day for seven days. She has told me what to expect when I go home. I should not expect to feel like I fit where I use to fit. It is normal to want to pull away from friends, to retreat into myself. She has said that that is okay to do up to a point, and I need to be very careful I do not pull too far away. It may feel like people are looking at me differently, that they are staring at me, she says this will be mostly in my head. When I first come back people are going to look at me, but in the weeks and months to follow they will only see me as normal again. It will be only me that feels otherwise. She says, she says, she says....she says a lot of things. In all that she says, she has never said the one thing I need to hear. She cannot say that I am not responsible for losing those under my command. A commander is always responsible; she cannot tell me how to live with that responsibility. That is something I will have to deal with everyday for the rest of my life.
I am jolted out of my melancholy thoughts by the sound of the door opening. I look up to see Harm enter my room, his flyboy smile lighting his way.
"Hey, you ready to get out of here?" He stands in front of me smiling, waiting for an answer.
I am not sure how to answer him. Part of me longs for the familiar places and people of home, but the other part... The other part is scared to hell of facing those beloved people, of having to make small talk, of answering their questions, of telling them I am fine.
I guess my emotions have been evident on my face, or maybe he just knows me too well, either way Harm's face softens into a gentle look of concern. He steps closer to me and engulfs me in a tender hug.
"Hey, Ninja-girl. This isn't going to be easy, but it will be okay. I am going to be right by your side, whatever comes. I am not going anywhere, okay?"
I had wrapped my arms around his waist when he hugged me, and now I tightened my grip fractionally. I nodded against his chest, and take a deep breath. Time to suck it up Marine, I tell myself. I am going to give the Corps a bad name relying on a Squid so much. I smile, oh well, I guess the Corps will just have to live with it. I pull back from Harm's embrace, pick up my coat, and together we walk out the door.
***************** *****************
Harm's POV
As we make our way to the Hospital Lobby, I keep my arm around Sarah's shoulders, being careful not to put pressure on her either of her wounds. Her chest wound near her right shoulder is still very tender, while the wound to her right arm is healing faster than the doctors had expected. The rest of her body is healing as well. The bruises that were angry red, blues, purples and black when I arrived have slowly faded to lighter shades of blues, green, and yellow. The cuts and burns that had been inflicted upon her are also healing over and much less noticeable than when I arrived.
I keep my arm around her for several reasons. First, I know she needs the added support and encouragement. It is scary for her, after a month of hell, and only one week of recovery, to be expected to go back to life the way it use to be. Secondly, I am selfish. I want to feel her close to me. I want to know that I can protect her, I want to protect her. I want to make sure that nothing will ever cause Sarah Mackenzie pain again.
I am relieved that we are going home. I think that it will do Mac good to be in her own apartment, to sleep in her own bed. She needs to remember the good and normal things of life. Although we haven't specifically talked about it, we both know that our relationship has changed. I don't think we need to talk about it. As I look over the past I feel that maybe some of the problem was that we talked too much about it. We have now just accepted it and are treasuring it for the gift it is. I know she loves me, and she knows I love her. There is where is begins and ends. It isn't complicated, it is love.
I sigh and mile at that thought, as I hold the door open for her. I glance down at her as she steps out in to the sunlight. Mac closes her eyes for a moment and breaths in the fresh warm air. I smile at her, I can't help it, she is the most beautiful thing I will ever see.
I know that in the weeks and months ahead of us there will be much pain and confusion, we will deal with that when it comes. We will take each day one hour at a time, and go from there. This hour of this day consists of taking the first step into the future, together.
************
ATTN: (note from Fiona) sorry so short, I will post more in the next day or two I promise. Oh and Webb will get his answers as well. Thanks for reading, please take a moment to review. (the button is just down in the left hand corner of your screen, that is right you see it, now go click on it.) ;)
