(Empire State Building)

Spider-man: Hey…this villain is yours? Are you guys superheroes, too?

Colleen: Not exactly…

Mysterious Evil Villain: You'll pay for what you did to us in Disney World, you sick little freaks!

Colleen: Sick?!?! Freaks?!?!

Amanda: Little?!?! Are you calling me short? Ooo, I am gonna make you hurt!

Spider-man: Who is this guy? Wait…did he say "us"? There's only one of him!

Amanda: Actually, he's two people in one body. After the events of Disney World, Drew Bledsoe and Colonel Fron joined forces. They're united in their utter hatred of us. You see, we humiliated Col. From in front of his superiors, and Drew hates us because of our undying love for Tom Brady.

Colleen: They stole Norman Osbourne's formula for enhancing strength, and modified it. They became one person. A deranged, super-strong, super-fast, vengeful psychopath with severe-mommy issues and bad jock itch. They are…

Colonel Foot-Goblin!!! (insert sinister music)

Colonel Foot-Goblin (hovering in air, waiting for girls to finish explanation. 'Cause he just needs an introduction.)

That's right! We do hate you! We're going to kill you and your precious Spider-man!

Amanda & Colleen: (gasp)

Spider-man: Umm…when did I become involved in this? Wait! I'm a superhero! Don't worry, I'll protect you girls! (heroic posing)

Colleen: So fearless…

Amanda: So righteous…

Both: So damn hot!

Spider-man: (blushes)

CFG (Colonel Foot Goblin): Grrr! You said the same thing about Tom! Tom…Tom…Tom…get a hold of yourself, you dim-witted jock! Who are you calling dim-witted? You! Oh yeah? Yes! Oh, so you're insulting yourself, huh? No, you buffoon! Sounds like you're insulting yourself to me, man! Quiet, fool! We have Fan Club Girls to maim! Yeah, ok, man.

Amanda, Colleen, & Spider-man: Wow. Just…Wow.

(Frau Chane's German class)

Frau Chane: It's been well over five minutes, and Katrin and Olivia are not back yet. Grr. I told them to bring tissues!

Class: Katrin und Olivia sind sehr tot. (Katrin and Olivia are very dead.)

Emily: Um…I think they went off to find Spider-man, actually.

Frau Chane: Spider-man?

Emily: Yeah. Last time it was some Tom Brady guy…I think he was the oldest boy in the Brady Bunch. Spider-man is definitely a better obsession.

Frau Chane: No one skips my class! Stay here, students! I'm going to get them!

Emily: I think they're in New York. That's where the movie happened.

Sam: Dum-de-dum…BROOMIMIMIMIMI-ACH!!!…Dum-de-dum…

(Phone rings. Frau Chane answers it.)

Frau Chane: Hello?…Who?…Oh,…Colleen's father!…Yes, I know…I was just on my way there now, actually…All right, I'll see you at the airport in twenty minutes…Bis spater!

Emily: This should be interesting…Oo, German Casper!

TBC…