The smell, the noise, all mixed together. Blood, sweat, urine, screaming, shouting, not being able to move, continues pop-pop-pop of machine gun fire. I couldn't escape I couldn't leave... I awake drenched in sweat, my breathing fast and irregular. I could still hear, smell, feel and taste it all. I don't want to be alone anymore, I need to feel safe. Carefully I pull out the needle from my hand and slip silently out and across to the hangers I don't care what the rules were; I don't want to be alone night. My bare feet pad softly between the cots till I come to Twombly's where I slip under the covers, there is barely enough room for one; I lie with my back against his chest, he wrapped his arm round my body, holding my hand and holding me close, the warmth of his breath hit the nap of my neck. I felt protected.

********

The following morning I was allowed to leave the hospital dorm, as long as I didn't do anything physical and if I felt ill I was to return straight away and not be all "tough guy about this." 'cos that usually lead to "tough guy bein' dead. Ya understan'? D-E-A-D." Fortunately I don't posses testosterone.

So this meant that I would be spending most my time sunning myself, I thought as I weaved in and out of the jeeps that were parked up. No shooting, no Phys. Ed., good, I would be happy if I never saw another gun again.... Or at least till I'm back on the shooting field, safe in Georgia.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I saw Twombly appear out of the dust of a passing humvee, I smiled. "Ellie,"

"Lance."

He looked kind of nervous, "Lets talk.. somewhere.. out the way."

"Sure." We stood a second, before Twombly started heading towards the beach, walking with his long strides, past the conex containers. "So.." I ventured.

"So?. Oh yeah so." Twombly kept glancing up and down the pathway.

"Ok, Twombly now you're making me paranoid." I smile trying to break the tension that has suddenly arrived. Twombly stares at a spot to the right of me and scratched his head.

"Nice day."

"Yeah." I sit on a rocky outcrop, he sits next to me. "You okay? You look kinda worried."

"You had me worried for a moment back there, with that whole bullet in the gut thing you had going on." His humor seemed forced, like he had something to say that he didn't want to tell me, but I ignore it a make some small talk, he'll tell me whatever the hell it is when he's ready. "I heard Galetine been flown to Germany."

"Yeah, he had his thumb sown to his stomach or some shit like that."

"What? No kidding..."

"Serious."

"To save it right?"

"You're the doctor, babe."

He seemed more relaxed after those few seconds. "I'm no doctor, I just fake it."

"I'd always figured that, what with your tendency to faint at the sight of blood."

"I don't faint."

"Don't think I haven't heard about the whole incident in the back of the tank. You fainted clean away."

"That was loss of blood, not sight, you douchebag."

He laughed, flicking away flies from his face. "Whatever you say."

"Hey now, don't act like you don't believe me."

"Oh, no, no I believe you."

"You don't. Shut up."

He did and we watched the view for a while until he turned to face me.

"You know, how you sometimes realize something.. you never realized before."

"Yeah."

"Well, it's kinda... like... You're buying a car.."

"Really."

"Thing is, you've got a perfectly good one at home.. You just never realized... Because you weren't.. you know."

"I don't know. I figure your wanting to buy a car?"

"No, you're not. listening, what I'm trying... what I'm trying to say is." He looked down at his feet "With what happened, it makes you realize what's.. important, and it wasn't what you thought it was, ... I mean it was important... Just not as important."

"Twom, now you're confusing me."

"You're my best friend Ellie.. but I've always wanted ... I've wanted more... just I never realized."

"...More?"

"I love you." Now as the words fell between us he looked into eyes, my mouth opened slightly then closed, unable to find words that would suit the moment. In that silence he lifted his hand to take my cheek and lent in to kiss me. I didn't know what to do or say, he was being selfish, cruel; acting on feelings he didn't really have, all because of this whole episode. I pull back, rising to my feet, shaking my head in disbelief, and turning to run back towards the base.

I heard him call after me "Ellie."