Disclaimer: I don't own Abby. Carter or any of the ER 'gang'

Authors Notes: Just a thank you to Carzie and Carrie who give me constant reassurance that writing is worth it. Lets see shall we. This is the first series I've contemplated doing in a long time. Each chapter will be in either Carter or Lukas POV – I can't decide which ship I want to go for so I'm writing sympathetically (I hope at least). Any suggestions, queries or constructive criticism welcome – either leave a review here or email me at doojit2002@yahoo.co.uk. You can check up on the progress of the upcoming chapters at .

Complicated Simplicity Chapter 1 (Luka)

It's different now to the beginning.

Before it was exciting, romantic, well, it got to be that way when we got over the bad patch at the beginning.

Now its different, now romance barely exists.

I don't know; maybe its me being negative, maybe something is really wrong or maybe this is just the way all American relationships end up.

Perhaps our first date was a sign – we were doomed from the start perhaps we had been over before we'd begun.

Whatever had happened, we've changed since then.

We were happier as a couple back then.

When we were first together, well, when things got back on the rails we spent a lot of time together, we'd work roughly the same shifts then we'd go out to the movies or for dinner and then we'd go home together.

It's not like that anymore.

We rarely work together now and if we do its only when our shifts overlap; we pretend that it's a kink in the scheduling but neither of us has done anything to change it.

We no longer 'go out' together. If we go out for a meal its only because we cant be bothered to cook, there's nothing romantic about it.

Abby goes out quite a lot. Apparently she's come back into contact with an old friend so they go out once a week, I don't ask where anymore, I used to when I was trying to make conversation but she never gave me a straight answer so I stopped asking.

She also goes out on Thursdays, that's if you can call AA meetings 'out' but still, it means she's not with me. I have offered to go with her but she says it would be better if she did it alone so I leave her to get on with it.

As for coming home together it doesn't happen anymore, well, not on purpose, obviously if we go out to eat we come back together but it doesn't happen in other situations.

Because our shifts are different its not likely that we'll arrive home with each other. If she knows I'm at my apartment she'll come here and if she knows I'm at work she'll go back to hers.

She's here now.

She's asleep at the minute.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"Your shift OK?"

"Yeah, not to bad"

"Good"

An awkward silence takes its place.

"Coffee?"

"No thanks"

There that silence goes again

"You know I think I'm just going to bed"

"Ok; I'll be in soon"

The quick peck on the cheek is more of a formality than a display of affection.

That was an hour ago.

I broke the routine tonight.

Instead of following her into the bedroom I stayed and watched TV. According to my inner 'demons' I didn't want to disturb her sleep but realistically I wanted to think and the TV made good background noise. Then it got to the point where I could no longer stand the late night TV anymore. So I went to bed.

There is no background noise now, just breathing.

The breathing isn't loud but it's distracting, hypnotising. Like snoring its monotony and predictability can draw you to sleep or insomnia. Tonight it's the latter.

I try to sleep but I can't, her breathing and continuous moving are off-putting.

Her hair has been scraped back off her face which is unusual, its almost like she knew that I'd be here stuck here unable and unwilling to sleep.

I told her once before that she was beautiful, I wasn't lying – she is. She doesn't believe it of course that would be against her self-discipline.

She continues to hide behind her self-discipline. Even after all this time I can't work out what she's thinking or how she's feeling.

And so like with the bedcovers the barrier between us grows even taller.