Hi, I'm back...
Been away to rugged coasts and sandy beaches. Where hats and woollies and surfboards seem strangely compatible.
Anyway long chapter, sorry.
Say my name. The sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely.
And then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to loose this feeling.
Eternal Flame by the Bangles
Only this story belongs to me, nowt else.
======
"Lucy, we're home," Jack said to the gathering crowd of Jaffa, Tok'ra and Nox.
Cassie ran to him, one word on her lips, "Jonas?"
O'Neill turned to the dimensional rip just as the Kelownan stepped through with Master Bra'tac following; Cassie went to him and took his hands, concern showing on her face as she noticed the marks around his neck. Jonas hugged her and kissed the top of her head, "help the others," he said with a smile.
She nodded and went to assist her mother who was tending the injured team members.
Jack's attention was drawn, again, to the crowd. Several Jaffa and Tok'ra had gone down on one knee, while others in the group bowed their heads in reverence, "hey, it's only us guys, SG-1, remember?"
"I do not believe it is for you O'Neill," Bra'tac said directing his head toward Jonas.
Jack turned to the young man whose face held a look of nervous dismay at the regard being shown him, "Jonas?" Jack said to no one in particular.
When Jacob was satisfied that Sam's injures were treatable he went to Jonas, lowering his eyes as he spoke, "Jonas is there anything I can do for you?" Selmak said from within him.
"Yeah, look me in the eyes," the Kelownan responded slightly embarrassed.
"Of course," Jacob/Selmak obliged, "It's just, now, with Olmec gone."
"Whoa, wait a minute," Jack said, taking off his pack, "how did you know about Olmec?"
"Cassandra felt his demise and the balance pass to Jonas," Jacob answered.
The Colonel looked puzzled, "the what?"
Cassie, who was healing Daniel's arm, answered, "Olmec was the light, the balance in the universe."
"He wasn't an Ancient?" Daniel winced.
"No," Cassie stated as her palm moved once more over the deep wound, "he was an entity born of the universe to keep the balance between the light and the darkness."
"And 'this' has been passed to Jonas, our Jonas?" O'Neill asked watching the Kelownan who was talking with several awed Nox children.
"Yes, he is now the guardian," Cassie replied.
Jack looked a Daniel with raised eyebrows, "well I don't know about you but I'm gonna to sleep sounder tonight knowing the universe is in Jonas's hands."
Daniel smiled back, "thing is, Jack, I think it's in all our hands."
======
Jack left Teal'c and Sam in the Tok'ra infirmary under Janet and Cassie's care and went to speak to Jonas. Bra'tac, ever watchful, was guarding the young man's door and Jack smiled to himself. Both Malek and Selmak had tried to persuade Jonas to have a younger 'bodyguard', which the Kelownan had politely refused.
Jonas had cleaned up and was reading some material Daniel had left him when Jack entered. The younger man stood anxiously to his feet knocking the papers flying, "Colonel," he coughed.
"Jonas," Jack replied, "I've just spoken with General Hammond, we're not leaving until tomorrow, their running a full gate diagnostic back at the SGC."
"Oh," came a small voice back.
O'Neill looked confused, Jonas enlighten him, "I was looking forward to going back ho." He stopped himself, "to earth."
He crouched down to rescue a couple of A4 sheets and said, "Sir, do you think General Hammond will let me stay at the SGC, once the text has been translated? It's just that you, you may need help in locating the city and I believe I've worked well with Dr Jackson before."
Jack signed, "Jonas, we've been through all this before, you'll be safer, here, with the Tok'ra, especially now you've got this, this Olmec stuff going on; I bet Anubis and his host are busting a gut trying to find you. We just can't guarantee your safety on earth."
"So you want me to go back with you, translate the stone tablet and then come back here?"
It sounded cold, "maybe when all this is over." Jack began.
"We could go fishing?" Jonas finished, getting up without looking the Colonel in the eye.
Jack felt a prang on guilt squeeze inside of him and changed the subject, "so, this Olmec deal, any special spider senses?"
Jonas scratched the back of his head and smiled, "In a way," he said turning to a small window and placing his hand on the icy glass, "I can feel the eternal flame of the universe."
What else could he tell him? That he suffered the tears of those lost and adrift, sensed the dry words of conscience whispered by dying tongues, touched the twin hearts of love and faith and listened to a universe of casual laughter caught on the wind like a kite? Jonas saw nightmares and shadows, hopes and dreams and could do nothing but experience their joining.
Jack moved closer and observed a blaze of gold streak across the Kelownan's eyes like stars in the night sky; he then noticed the bruising on his neck, "have you seen Doc Fraiser about this?"
Jonas blushed slightly, "no, sir, I thought it might have healed by now."
"Yeah, well, I still want you to get yourself checked out."
"With Dr Fraiser?"
Jack smiled, "yes, Jonas, with Doc Fraiser, is there a problem?"
The young man blushed some more, "no sir, no problem."
"Good," O'Neill replied watching Jonas leave for the infirmary.
He then looked down at the disarray of papers obscuring the room and absent- mindedly shuffled them into some order. He smiled as he picked up an early Bowie CD from the core along with Jonas's richly inscribed notebook and a worn visitors guide to Pike's Peak. He smoothed the guide out and placed it inside the cover of the book, maybe he would have a word with Hammond about Jonas's stay.
====
Jonas watched from a distance as Janet and Daniel chatted casually in the infirmary. He observed her skilfully re-apply a bandage to Dr Jackson's arm while laughing at some story he was telling.
Jonas thought about leaving when Sam caught his eye, "come to visit the injured," she joked.
"Um, yes, I mean no, the Colonel wanted me to get checked out."
She followed Jonas's gaze, feeling something tear inside her as she watched Daniel grin in Janet's direction, "Dr Fraiser seems busy," the young man stated breaking Sam's concentration.
"She's only seeing to Daniel's bandage, I'm sure she won't be long."
Janet looked up and saw the Kelownan, she bestowed him with an enchanting smile and walked over, "Jonas," she said and gave him an affectionate hug.
He flinched slightly during her embrace and Janet pulled away, "you're hurt?" She said softly.
"Yes," he replied meekly.
Janet smiled and lay a petite hand on his arm, "come over to the examination room and let me have a look," and she led him to a blank cubical.
He removed his t-shirt and lay back on the exam table as she started to gently press her hands along his ribs. Her touch was patient and soft, waiting for him to relax when she located a point of tenderness. He watched her work, wanting to say the hundred and one things that were surfacing and spinning in his head but the words just seemed to crash on his lips without a sound.
He sat up so she could examine the contusions smeared around his neck. He tried to focus on something other than the delicate rhythm of her breathing melting into his skin but he found it impossible; he stood up abruptly.
"Jonas?" Janet cried, not finished with her examination but he looked away.
She placed an urgent hand on his shoulder, a plea for him to look at her. He turned and their eyes locked. There was a moment, he could feel it, time was waiting on a hesitant drip from a tap and his mind and heart conflicted. He bent down and tenderly brushed his lips against hers as the fire in his heart won.
He pulled away, "I'm, I'm sorry," he said cracking the silence.
Janet held onto his arm to stop him from leaving, "Jonas," she began keeping her voice composed, "I."
He turned to face her again and she saw how lonely, how vulnerable, how scared he really was. Had anyone else noticed?
She touched his face, emotion clouding her judgement she drew him into an open kiss. Jonas trembled slightly as he carefully put his arms around her small frame bringing her closer. Janet fell into his embrace but somewhere, inside of her, a rational voice cried, no!
There was a knock at the door shattering the moment like a raindrop hitting the ground; they pulled apart.
He looked at her, his eyes intense and hopeful, his heart bursting. He reached out to stroke her cheek but she turned away from him and answered the door; a splinter caught in his heart.
Janet took some paperwork that a heavyset nurse had brought for her to sign, "Jonas, I want you to rest up, until we get back to the SGC," she said not looking up from the pen scraping at the paper.
Jonas picked up his discarded t-shirt as if it weighed more than he could carry and nodded.
Janet handed the reports back to the curious nurse, whose eyes darted from Doctor to patient, until Janet closed the door on her.
"Jonas," she began trying to sound rational, "I'm sorry, I should never."
He gave her a bright smile that had no truth in it, "hey, Doc, it's okay, I should never of put you in that position," he said the words crumpling inside of him.
There was an awkward silence before Jonas walked towards the door. Janet smiled at him, touching his hand, "friends, right?" she said.
"Yeah, always," he replied too quickly.
======
Sam watched Janet as she changed Teal'c's dressing, her normal practiced hands seemed anxious and her eyes betrayed a faint regret. She spoke a few professional words to the Jaffa while checking his blood pressure and then let him rest.
Sam looked up at her friend as she passed, "how's he doing?" She enquired.
Janet gave her a tired smile, "fine, Cassie healed most of the damage, he'll be sore for a few days and we'll have to watch for infection but he'll be back to his old Jaffa self in no time."
Sam gave her a quick smile that was not reciprocated, "Janet what's wrong?"
Janet slumped into the uncomfortable bedside chair and let her head rest in her hands while she, hesitantly, told Sam what had happen between herself and Jonas.
"I'm not proud of myself Sam," she finished off with, "I kissed him for all the wrong reasons and he knew, I saw it in his eyes, even before I tried to explain, he'd distanced himself."
Sam took Janet's hand, "Jonas's will be okay," she said but the words seemed hollow.
"I don't know, Sam, if you could've seen him, he looked so lonely, so young, so desperate for something I couldn't give him. I think he wants, needs something other than friendship."
"You mean love?"
The Doctor shrugged, "that and some sort of guidance. He has no family here and we're his only friends, he has nobody else to help him go through this 'change'. He tried to reach out to me and I made a complete mess of it."
Janet tore her fingers through her hair causing it to spit copper under the light.
"You're being too hard on yourself," Sam said softly, "I guess we all assumed he was coping with this 'balance' thing."
Janet sighed, "Well I don't think he is," then she looked at Sam and gave her a small smile, "I'm going to get some air."
Sam gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and let her go.
======
Jonas gazed at the strange moon drifting in the battered sky. A crisp wind was chasing raggedy clouds across its honeyed glow like a ghostly parade of beggars. Their music was the low shrill of a purple night lizard and the faint mumble of lonely insects in search of a mate. Everything here was unfamiliar to him yet this was to be his new home.
He rubbed his fingers into his scalp trying to block out the universal mummers that were eating away at his thoughts. It was an uneasy night, something was out there, coiled and ready to strike.
He watched Janet walk out into the night pulling her jacket around her more for comfort than to block out the sharp breeze that was testing her resolve. He traced her outline with his finger on the window leaving nothing but a smear as she vanished into the darkness.
Something crept along his spine, seeping into his mind like oil trapped in a puddle. He closed his eyes and for a moment heard only the echo of his own heartbeat; then the universe struck him, throwing him to the floor.
Jack and Daniel, on hearing Bra'tac's calls for assistance, ran to the room Jonas was occupying. They found the Jaffa trying to calm the Kelownan who was lying on the floor in the throes of a fit. Jack watched as the young man twisted violently in Bra'tac's grasp, his eyes pushed back in their sockets and blood from his nose soaking the material of his shirt.
Daniel turned, to get Dr Frasier, but was met by Cassandra who flew passed him into the room. Bra'tac relinquished Jonas into her care and she placed a soothing palm on his forehead; the effect was immediate. Jonas's body became calm, except for the odd twitch and rapid breathing, "shouldn't we get him to the infirmary?" Jack enquired.
"Not yet, the universe is speaking," Cassie replied gently as the Kelownan began to mutter a mixture of words that meant nothing to O'Neill.
"Right," Jack said, looking around to see if anyone else had found that remark a bit 'strange'.
Daniel moved closer, intrigued, "Daniel?" Jack asked.
He held his hand up, his face deep in concentration, listening, "it's a prayer!" He exclaimed after a while.
"A what?" Jack asked somewhat bemused.
"A, a prayer, to Balder, son of Odin, to protect, him, um, them from the demons of Hell."
Jack looked down at Jonas, whose eyes were open and white, "his head isn't gonna start spinning, now, is it?" He asked Cassie.
She looked at Jack and smiled shaking her head, "good," O'Neill said somewhat relieved.
Jonas's breathing quickened and his body started to shake, he began to recite the prayer, once more, but this time the voice was not his own. The words seemed to multiply around the room with increasing clarity, as if they were being whispered by many different voices pleading on their knees for assurance. Jonas arched his back and took a lungful of air, breathing the voices back in until there was silence.
Daniel looked at Jack and then at Cassie who had started to shiver. He went over to put his jacket around her shoulders but before he could reach her Jonas's body began to flip fiercely against the floor, pushing Cassandra from him.
The room then filled with what seemed to be a thousand chaotic voices crashing against the walls in terror and death, causing Jack put his hands over his ears to drown out their sound. "Can't you stop this?" he yelled toward Cassie.
"No," she shouted back as the noise expanded and surged through Jack's eardrums until it reached a screaming crescendo and fell back into Jonas.
Jack had, had enough; with his ears still ringing he knelt down by the Kelownan and forced his hands down on the trembling man's shoulders.
"Jonas can you hear me?" He said strongly. "You have to snap out of this, that's an order."
The Kelownan began to struggle against the Colonel's grip and cough up blood, "damn it Jonas, you have to fight this," Jack looked at Cassie, "I thought Olmec was meant to make you guys stronger?"
"He did but this, this is beyond Jonas, this is Olmec's 'knowledge'. It had to be transferred, to stop Ragnarok from using it."
"But it's killing him," Jack stated feeling Jonas, finally, relax under his grip.
O'Neill looked down at the young man who was staring at something he could not see.
"Ragnarok," Cassie whispered sensing where Jonas was.
Instinctively Bra'tac raised his staff weapon and Jack saw the Kelownan's face become composed and almost serene.
Jonas looked around him but saw only the inside of a Goa'uld mothership and the hooded figure of Ragnarok.
"You don't look well son," came the scornful voice, "the old man's powers are too much for you, they were never meant to be housed in such a frail being as yourself."
Jonas looked out into space at the debris turning around the elegant green planet in the distance, "why?" He asked trying to understand the emptiness he was feeling, "why did you attack those who could not fight back?"
"Are you that naïve, boy? Do you think I care if the beings on the planet lived or died? This wasn't an attack against them, this was a blow to weaken the Asgard. This world was under their protector-ship, that flotsam caught in our wake is the remains of the ships they sent to defend the simple people below," he laughed, "and I will attack again and again until all my enemies are crushed."
"How do you know that this will not strengthen them? For every blow you deal is redressed elsewhere," Jonas replied knowingly.
"Are you trying to scare me? You do not possess the capability to prophesise the future's will. The universe possesses no such power it just binds us all together, we are its will, we are the light or dark of its stars just as we choose our own intent."
The host bowed his head and let Anubis speak, "You think your pallid light will shade our darkness? You do not know its strength," and then added with malice, "but you will."
"That maybe so," Jonas said turning to face the figure, " but beware the darkness inside of you, sooner or later a reckoning will be required."
Incensed, Anubis struck Jonas with a blinding explosion that went straight through the Kelownan sending him spiralling back into his body.
He opened his eyes and saw the blurred face of Colonel O'Neill. He then rubbed them to make them focus and sat up, "Colonel," he said with a voice of sandpaper.
Jack helped him to a metal chair and Daniel offered him a glass of water that he took gratefully, tasting blood as he swallowed.
"Cassie, Bra'tac can you give us a moment here," Jack said not looking away from Jonas's exhausted face.
Cassie looked toward the Kelownan, I'm fine, honest, he told her without speaking but she knew this was not true.
She smiled, yeah sure, don't be such a hero, I can feel your hurt. Tell someone Jonas, tell them how you really feel, don't keep this inside, she 'said' and left the room.
"Jonas, what the hell just happened?" O'Neill asked.
"Anubis has attacked Urdar, a planet under the protection of the Asgards."
"With the Eye of Ra?" Daniel needed to know.
"No, the planet's still there. He sent his Jaffa to the surface to, to control its people," he looked up at Daniel, "he, he used the Eye on the vessels the Asgard sent to defend Urdar, they were all destroyed."
Daniel turned away, guilt eating away at him, "Daniel, this isn't your fault," O'Neill said.
"Jack, if I hadn't of given him the last." But before he could finish Jonas started to cough, once more, bringing up mass of spent blood.
"Daniel go get Doc Fraiser, now." Jack instructed.
"No!" Jonas cried holding onto Dr Jackson's arm, "it'll pass, sir, I just need to rest."
The young man tried to stand but his legs buckled under him. Jack and Daniel caught him before he hit the floor. "For God's sake, Jonas, this is killing you, why the hell did Olmec do this? I thought he was one of the good guys?"
"He was," Jonas replied his voice starting to rise, "he had no choice!"
"Hell he did," O'Neill replied, irritated, then, "Daniel escort Jonas to the infirmary and get Doc Fraiser to check him out."
Jonas went to protest, "And if he refuses," Jack continued, "get Master Bra'tac to drag him there."
====
Sam had changed back into her uniform and was sat by Jonas's bedside. Both Janet and the Tok'ra had run extensive tests on their unwilling patient and could find nothing physically wrong with him; he had lapsed into unconsciousness soon after. Janet had kept a vigil at his bedside for most of the night until Sam had persuaded her to get some rest, promising to call her when he wakes.
She watched his eyes move under their lids as he searched for something in his sleep, "Mia," he cried pitifully and became restless.
Sam pulled the covers back over his trembling form and smoothed the spikes of his hair, quietening him for a moment.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to the pillow, "please don't go."
"I won't," Sam answered, knowing he was not talking to her but to a dream.
She knew nothing of Jonas before the SGC but something from his past was haunting him.
"Hey, Carter," O'Neill whispered from behind her.
"Sir," she replied getting to her feet.
"How's sleeping beauty doing?"
"Resting."
"Oh," Jack looked over at the Kelownan as if he was peeking at a sleeping infant, "and you, Carter, shouldn't you be getting some shut eye?"
"I'm fine, sir, I feel like I've slept for days."
Jack looked at her fatigued face and knew she was being economical with the truth, "Yeah, well, that maybe so but no one's told the rest of you."
She sighed and went back to stroking Jonas's forehead, "I don't want Jonas to wake up alone."
"He's a big boy now, Carter."
"I know I just want him to know that we're here for him."
Jack looked at them both, Jeez he was going soft, "okay, I'll baby-sit junior for a while."
Sam was caught off guard, "sir?"
"Can't sleep anyway, it's a Tok'ra thing, you know, you go to sleep alone, wake up with a new, best buddy inside of you, sort'a creeps me out."
"Sir, the Tok'ra."
"Yeah, I know, now scat before I change my mind."
"I'll only be in the next room sir."
"Understood," he replied taking the seat Carter had occupied.
Jack checked his watch and then rocked back on the chair trying to gain a comfortable position as it groaned beneath him. He rubbed his hand across the stubble on his chin and studied the Tok'ra room his attention drifting, "Mia," Jonas said with urgency.
Jack was drawn once more to the figure wrestling with his subconscious on the bed and wondered if he should call Sam back.
An effervescence orb of light threw itself from the Kelownan and hovered by the end of the bed. Jack watched as the light took the form of a young girl, her face as pale as a frosted window and her hair a bunched mass of white, blonde curls. The girl's blank eyes held no colour and her dress was muted and torn and tied on her wrist was a green balloon with a gold dragon emblazoned on it.
She just stood staring down at Jonas and spoke in a mean little voice that echoed from within her, "you were meant to look after me."
"You, you ran off to get the balloon," Jonas replied from his sleep.
"You let the man take me."
"I tried to stop him, he hit me."
"He 'hurt' me," she cried holding out her colourless arms.
"I know," whispered Jonas's small voice, "it, it should have been me."
"It's never you, though, is it Jonas? It's always someone else dying in your place, sacrificing themselves so you can live and for what? So you can save the universe. You couldn't even save me. I waited for you in the dark, where the mean man put me, you know how scared I was of the dark? I called out for you to come find me but you never came: you let me die. How many more people are you going to let die, Jonas, how many more?"
The girl started to fade until she became nothing but light which plunged fiercely back into Jonas. The Kelownan sat up with a jolt and opened his eyes surveying the room, "Colonel," he said, surprised on seeing O'Neill there.
"Bad dream?" Jack probed.
"Yeah, I guess," Jonas answered giving nothing away.
Jack tried the more direct approach, "who's Mia?"
"Mia?" Jonas said, startled.
"Yeah, you said that name a few times in your sleep."
Jonas looked at O'Neill trying to gauge how much he knew then shook his head a little too convincingly, "I don't know a Mia, sir," he said but Jack saw the truth in his eyes.
He decided to let it rest for now.
========
Still more to come, if you're not bored already.
See ya.
:0)
Been away to rugged coasts and sandy beaches. Where hats and woollies and surfboards seem strangely compatible.
Anyway long chapter, sorry.
Say my name. The sun shines through the rain.
A whole life so lonely.
And then you come and ease the pain.
I don't want to loose this feeling.
Eternal Flame by the Bangles
Only this story belongs to me, nowt else.
======
"Lucy, we're home," Jack said to the gathering crowd of Jaffa, Tok'ra and Nox.
Cassie ran to him, one word on her lips, "Jonas?"
O'Neill turned to the dimensional rip just as the Kelownan stepped through with Master Bra'tac following; Cassie went to him and took his hands, concern showing on her face as she noticed the marks around his neck. Jonas hugged her and kissed the top of her head, "help the others," he said with a smile.
She nodded and went to assist her mother who was tending the injured team members.
Jack's attention was drawn, again, to the crowd. Several Jaffa and Tok'ra had gone down on one knee, while others in the group bowed their heads in reverence, "hey, it's only us guys, SG-1, remember?"
"I do not believe it is for you O'Neill," Bra'tac said directing his head toward Jonas.
Jack turned to the young man whose face held a look of nervous dismay at the regard being shown him, "Jonas?" Jack said to no one in particular.
When Jacob was satisfied that Sam's injures were treatable he went to Jonas, lowering his eyes as he spoke, "Jonas is there anything I can do for you?" Selmak said from within him.
"Yeah, look me in the eyes," the Kelownan responded slightly embarrassed.
"Of course," Jacob/Selmak obliged, "It's just, now, with Olmec gone."
"Whoa, wait a minute," Jack said, taking off his pack, "how did you know about Olmec?"
"Cassandra felt his demise and the balance pass to Jonas," Jacob answered.
The Colonel looked puzzled, "the what?"
Cassie, who was healing Daniel's arm, answered, "Olmec was the light, the balance in the universe."
"He wasn't an Ancient?" Daniel winced.
"No," Cassie stated as her palm moved once more over the deep wound, "he was an entity born of the universe to keep the balance between the light and the darkness."
"And 'this' has been passed to Jonas, our Jonas?" O'Neill asked watching the Kelownan who was talking with several awed Nox children.
"Yes, he is now the guardian," Cassie replied.
Jack looked a Daniel with raised eyebrows, "well I don't know about you but I'm gonna to sleep sounder tonight knowing the universe is in Jonas's hands."
Daniel smiled back, "thing is, Jack, I think it's in all our hands."
======
Jack left Teal'c and Sam in the Tok'ra infirmary under Janet and Cassie's care and went to speak to Jonas. Bra'tac, ever watchful, was guarding the young man's door and Jack smiled to himself. Both Malek and Selmak had tried to persuade Jonas to have a younger 'bodyguard', which the Kelownan had politely refused.
Jonas had cleaned up and was reading some material Daniel had left him when Jack entered. The younger man stood anxiously to his feet knocking the papers flying, "Colonel," he coughed.
"Jonas," Jack replied, "I've just spoken with General Hammond, we're not leaving until tomorrow, their running a full gate diagnostic back at the SGC."
"Oh," came a small voice back.
O'Neill looked confused, Jonas enlighten him, "I was looking forward to going back ho." He stopped himself, "to earth."
He crouched down to rescue a couple of A4 sheets and said, "Sir, do you think General Hammond will let me stay at the SGC, once the text has been translated? It's just that you, you may need help in locating the city and I believe I've worked well with Dr Jackson before."
Jack signed, "Jonas, we've been through all this before, you'll be safer, here, with the Tok'ra, especially now you've got this, this Olmec stuff going on; I bet Anubis and his host are busting a gut trying to find you. We just can't guarantee your safety on earth."
"So you want me to go back with you, translate the stone tablet and then come back here?"
It sounded cold, "maybe when all this is over." Jack began.
"We could go fishing?" Jonas finished, getting up without looking the Colonel in the eye.
Jack felt a prang on guilt squeeze inside of him and changed the subject, "so, this Olmec deal, any special spider senses?"
Jonas scratched the back of his head and smiled, "In a way," he said turning to a small window and placing his hand on the icy glass, "I can feel the eternal flame of the universe."
What else could he tell him? That he suffered the tears of those lost and adrift, sensed the dry words of conscience whispered by dying tongues, touched the twin hearts of love and faith and listened to a universe of casual laughter caught on the wind like a kite? Jonas saw nightmares and shadows, hopes and dreams and could do nothing but experience their joining.
Jack moved closer and observed a blaze of gold streak across the Kelownan's eyes like stars in the night sky; he then noticed the bruising on his neck, "have you seen Doc Fraiser about this?"
Jonas blushed slightly, "no, sir, I thought it might have healed by now."
"Yeah, well, I still want you to get yourself checked out."
"With Dr Fraiser?"
Jack smiled, "yes, Jonas, with Doc Fraiser, is there a problem?"
The young man blushed some more, "no sir, no problem."
"Good," O'Neill replied watching Jonas leave for the infirmary.
He then looked down at the disarray of papers obscuring the room and absent- mindedly shuffled them into some order. He smiled as he picked up an early Bowie CD from the core along with Jonas's richly inscribed notebook and a worn visitors guide to Pike's Peak. He smoothed the guide out and placed it inside the cover of the book, maybe he would have a word with Hammond about Jonas's stay.
====
Jonas watched from a distance as Janet and Daniel chatted casually in the infirmary. He observed her skilfully re-apply a bandage to Dr Jackson's arm while laughing at some story he was telling.
Jonas thought about leaving when Sam caught his eye, "come to visit the injured," she joked.
"Um, yes, I mean no, the Colonel wanted me to get checked out."
She followed Jonas's gaze, feeling something tear inside her as she watched Daniel grin in Janet's direction, "Dr Fraiser seems busy," the young man stated breaking Sam's concentration.
"She's only seeing to Daniel's bandage, I'm sure she won't be long."
Janet looked up and saw the Kelownan, she bestowed him with an enchanting smile and walked over, "Jonas," she said and gave him an affectionate hug.
He flinched slightly during her embrace and Janet pulled away, "you're hurt?" She said softly.
"Yes," he replied meekly.
Janet smiled and lay a petite hand on his arm, "come over to the examination room and let me have a look," and she led him to a blank cubical.
He removed his t-shirt and lay back on the exam table as she started to gently press her hands along his ribs. Her touch was patient and soft, waiting for him to relax when she located a point of tenderness. He watched her work, wanting to say the hundred and one things that were surfacing and spinning in his head but the words just seemed to crash on his lips without a sound.
He sat up so she could examine the contusions smeared around his neck. He tried to focus on something other than the delicate rhythm of her breathing melting into his skin but he found it impossible; he stood up abruptly.
"Jonas?" Janet cried, not finished with her examination but he looked away.
She placed an urgent hand on his shoulder, a plea for him to look at her. He turned and their eyes locked. There was a moment, he could feel it, time was waiting on a hesitant drip from a tap and his mind and heart conflicted. He bent down and tenderly brushed his lips against hers as the fire in his heart won.
He pulled away, "I'm, I'm sorry," he said cracking the silence.
Janet held onto his arm to stop him from leaving, "Jonas," she began keeping her voice composed, "I."
He turned to face her again and she saw how lonely, how vulnerable, how scared he really was. Had anyone else noticed?
She touched his face, emotion clouding her judgement she drew him into an open kiss. Jonas trembled slightly as he carefully put his arms around her small frame bringing her closer. Janet fell into his embrace but somewhere, inside of her, a rational voice cried, no!
There was a knock at the door shattering the moment like a raindrop hitting the ground; they pulled apart.
He looked at her, his eyes intense and hopeful, his heart bursting. He reached out to stroke her cheek but she turned away from him and answered the door; a splinter caught in his heart.
Janet took some paperwork that a heavyset nurse had brought for her to sign, "Jonas, I want you to rest up, until we get back to the SGC," she said not looking up from the pen scraping at the paper.
Jonas picked up his discarded t-shirt as if it weighed more than he could carry and nodded.
Janet handed the reports back to the curious nurse, whose eyes darted from Doctor to patient, until Janet closed the door on her.
"Jonas," she began trying to sound rational, "I'm sorry, I should never."
He gave her a bright smile that had no truth in it, "hey, Doc, it's okay, I should never of put you in that position," he said the words crumpling inside of him.
There was an awkward silence before Jonas walked towards the door. Janet smiled at him, touching his hand, "friends, right?" she said.
"Yeah, always," he replied too quickly.
======
Sam watched Janet as she changed Teal'c's dressing, her normal practiced hands seemed anxious and her eyes betrayed a faint regret. She spoke a few professional words to the Jaffa while checking his blood pressure and then let him rest.
Sam looked up at her friend as she passed, "how's he doing?" She enquired.
Janet gave her a tired smile, "fine, Cassie healed most of the damage, he'll be sore for a few days and we'll have to watch for infection but he'll be back to his old Jaffa self in no time."
Sam gave her a quick smile that was not reciprocated, "Janet what's wrong?"
Janet slumped into the uncomfortable bedside chair and let her head rest in her hands while she, hesitantly, told Sam what had happen between herself and Jonas.
"I'm not proud of myself Sam," she finished off with, "I kissed him for all the wrong reasons and he knew, I saw it in his eyes, even before I tried to explain, he'd distanced himself."
Sam took Janet's hand, "Jonas's will be okay," she said but the words seemed hollow.
"I don't know, Sam, if you could've seen him, he looked so lonely, so young, so desperate for something I couldn't give him. I think he wants, needs something other than friendship."
"You mean love?"
The Doctor shrugged, "that and some sort of guidance. He has no family here and we're his only friends, he has nobody else to help him go through this 'change'. He tried to reach out to me and I made a complete mess of it."
Janet tore her fingers through her hair causing it to spit copper under the light.
"You're being too hard on yourself," Sam said softly, "I guess we all assumed he was coping with this 'balance' thing."
Janet sighed, "Well I don't think he is," then she looked at Sam and gave her a small smile, "I'm going to get some air."
Sam gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and let her go.
======
Jonas gazed at the strange moon drifting in the battered sky. A crisp wind was chasing raggedy clouds across its honeyed glow like a ghostly parade of beggars. Their music was the low shrill of a purple night lizard and the faint mumble of lonely insects in search of a mate. Everything here was unfamiliar to him yet this was to be his new home.
He rubbed his fingers into his scalp trying to block out the universal mummers that were eating away at his thoughts. It was an uneasy night, something was out there, coiled and ready to strike.
He watched Janet walk out into the night pulling her jacket around her more for comfort than to block out the sharp breeze that was testing her resolve. He traced her outline with his finger on the window leaving nothing but a smear as she vanished into the darkness.
Something crept along his spine, seeping into his mind like oil trapped in a puddle. He closed his eyes and for a moment heard only the echo of his own heartbeat; then the universe struck him, throwing him to the floor.
Jack and Daniel, on hearing Bra'tac's calls for assistance, ran to the room Jonas was occupying. They found the Jaffa trying to calm the Kelownan who was lying on the floor in the throes of a fit. Jack watched as the young man twisted violently in Bra'tac's grasp, his eyes pushed back in their sockets and blood from his nose soaking the material of his shirt.
Daniel turned, to get Dr Frasier, but was met by Cassandra who flew passed him into the room. Bra'tac relinquished Jonas into her care and she placed a soothing palm on his forehead; the effect was immediate. Jonas's body became calm, except for the odd twitch and rapid breathing, "shouldn't we get him to the infirmary?" Jack enquired.
"Not yet, the universe is speaking," Cassie replied gently as the Kelownan began to mutter a mixture of words that meant nothing to O'Neill.
"Right," Jack said, looking around to see if anyone else had found that remark a bit 'strange'.
Daniel moved closer, intrigued, "Daniel?" Jack asked.
He held his hand up, his face deep in concentration, listening, "it's a prayer!" He exclaimed after a while.
"A what?" Jack asked somewhat bemused.
"A, a prayer, to Balder, son of Odin, to protect, him, um, them from the demons of Hell."
Jack looked down at Jonas, whose eyes were open and white, "his head isn't gonna start spinning, now, is it?" He asked Cassie.
She looked at Jack and smiled shaking her head, "good," O'Neill said somewhat relieved.
Jonas's breathing quickened and his body started to shake, he began to recite the prayer, once more, but this time the voice was not his own. The words seemed to multiply around the room with increasing clarity, as if they were being whispered by many different voices pleading on their knees for assurance. Jonas arched his back and took a lungful of air, breathing the voices back in until there was silence.
Daniel looked at Jack and then at Cassie who had started to shiver. He went over to put his jacket around her shoulders but before he could reach her Jonas's body began to flip fiercely against the floor, pushing Cassandra from him.
The room then filled with what seemed to be a thousand chaotic voices crashing against the walls in terror and death, causing Jack put his hands over his ears to drown out their sound. "Can't you stop this?" he yelled toward Cassie.
"No," she shouted back as the noise expanded and surged through Jack's eardrums until it reached a screaming crescendo and fell back into Jonas.
Jack had, had enough; with his ears still ringing he knelt down by the Kelownan and forced his hands down on the trembling man's shoulders.
"Jonas can you hear me?" He said strongly. "You have to snap out of this, that's an order."
The Kelownan began to struggle against the Colonel's grip and cough up blood, "damn it Jonas, you have to fight this," Jack looked at Cassie, "I thought Olmec was meant to make you guys stronger?"
"He did but this, this is beyond Jonas, this is Olmec's 'knowledge'. It had to be transferred, to stop Ragnarok from using it."
"But it's killing him," Jack stated feeling Jonas, finally, relax under his grip.
O'Neill looked down at the young man who was staring at something he could not see.
"Ragnarok," Cassie whispered sensing where Jonas was.
Instinctively Bra'tac raised his staff weapon and Jack saw the Kelownan's face become composed and almost serene.
Jonas looked around him but saw only the inside of a Goa'uld mothership and the hooded figure of Ragnarok.
"You don't look well son," came the scornful voice, "the old man's powers are too much for you, they were never meant to be housed in such a frail being as yourself."
Jonas looked out into space at the debris turning around the elegant green planet in the distance, "why?" He asked trying to understand the emptiness he was feeling, "why did you attack those who could not fight back?"
"Are you that naïve, boy? Do you think I care if the beings on the planet lived or died? This wasn't an attack against them, this was a blow to weaken the Asgard. This world was under their protector-ship, that flotsam caught in our wake is the remains of the ships they sent to defend the simple people below," he laughed, "and I will attack again and again until all my enemies are crushed."
"How do you know that this will not strengthen them? For every blow you deal is redressed elsewhere," Jonas replied knowingly.
"Are you trying to scare me? You do not possess the capability to prophesise the future's will. The universe possesses no such power it just binds us all together, we are its will, we are the light or dark of its stars just as we choose our own intent."
The host bowed his head and let Anubis speak, "You think your pallid light will shade our darkness? You do not know its strength," and then added with malice, "but you will."
"That maybe so," Jonas said turning to face the figure, " but beware the darkness inside of you, sooner or later a reckoning will be required."
Incensed, Anubis struck Jonas with a blinding explosion that went straight through the Kelownan sending him spiralling back into his body.
He opened his eyes and saw the blurred face of Colonel O'Neill. He then rubbed them to make them focus and sat up, "Colonel," he said with a voice of sandpaper.
Jack helped him to a metal chair and Daniel offered him a glass of water that he took gratefully, tasting blood as he swallowed.
"Cassie, Bra'tac can you give us a moment here," Jack said not looking away from Jonas's exhausted face.
Cassie looked toward the Kelownan, I'm fine, honest, he told her without speaking but she knew this was not true.
She smiled, yeah sure, don't be such a hero, I can feel your hurt. Tell someone Jonas, tell them how you really feel, don't keep this inside, she 'said' and left the room.
"Jonas, what the hell just happened?" O'Neill asked.
"Anubis has attacked Urdar, a planet under the protection of the Asgards."
"With the Eye of Ra?" Daniel needed to know.
"No, the planet's still there. He sent his Jaffa to the surface to, to control its people," he looked up at Daniel, "he, he used the Eye on the vessels the Asgard sent to defend Urdar, they were all destroyed."
Daniel turned away, guilt eating away at him, "Daniel, this isn't your fault," O'Neill said.
"Jack, if I hadn't of given him the last." But before he could finish Jonas started to cough, once more, bringing up mass of spent blood.
"Daniel go get Doc Fraiser, now." Jack instructed.
"No!" Jonas cried holding onto Dr Jackson's arm, "it'll pass, sir, I just need to rest."
The young man tried to stand but his legs buckled under him. Jack and Daniel caught him before he hit the floor. "For God's sake, Jonas, this is killing you, why the hell did Olmec do this? I thought he was one of the good guys?"
"He was," Jonas replied his voice starting to rise, "he had no choice!"
"Hell he did," O'Neill replied, irritated, then, "Daniel escort Jonas to the infirmary and get Doc Fraiser to check him out."
Jonas went to protest, "And if he refuses," Jack continued, "get Master Bra'tac to drag him there."
====
Sam had changed back into her uniform and was sat by Jonas's bedside. Both Janet and the Tok'ra had run extensive tests on their unwilling patient and could find nothing physically wrong with him; he had lapsed into unconsciousness soon after. Janet had kept a vigil at his bedside for most of the night until Sam had persuaded her to get some rest, promising to call her when he wakes.
She watched his eyes move under their lids as he searched for something in his sleep, "Mia," he cried pitifully and became restless.
Sam pulled the covers back over his trembling form and smoothed the spikes of his hair, quietening him for a moment.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to the pillow, "please don't go."
"I won't," Sam answered, knowing he was not talking to her but to a dream.
She knew nothing of Jonas before the SGC but something from his past was haunting him.
"Hey, Carter," O'Neill whispered from behind her.
"Sir," she replied getting to her feet.
"How's sleeping beauty doing?"
"Resting."
"Oh," Jack looked over at the Kelownan as if he was peeking at a sleeping infant, "and you, Carter, shouldn't you be getting some shut eye?"
"I'm fine, sir, I feel like I've slept for days."
Jack looked at her fatigued face and knew she was being economical with the truth, "Yeah, well, that maybe so but no one's told the rest of you."
She sighed and went back to stroking Jonas's forehead, "I don't want Jonas to wake up alone."
"He's a big boy now, Carter."
"I know I just want him to know that we're here for him."
Jack looked at them both, Jeez he was going soft, "okay, I'll baby-sit junior for a while."
Sam was caught off guard, "sir?"
"Can't sleep anyway, it's a Tok'ra thing, you know, you go to sleep alone, wake up with a new, best buddy inside of you, sort'a creeps me out."
"Sir, the Tok'ra."
"Yeah, I know, now scat before I change my mind."
"I'll only be in the next room sir."
"Understood," he replied taking the seat Carter had occupied.
Jack checked his watch and then rocked back on the chair trying to gain a comfortable position as it groaned beneath him. He rubbed his hand across the stubble on his chin and studied the Tok'ra room his attention drifting, "Mia," Jonas said with urgency.
Jack was drawn once more to the figure wrestling with his subconscious on the bed and wondered if he should call Sam back.
An effervescence orb of light threw itself from the Kelownan and hovered by the end of the bed. Jack watched as the light took the form of a young girl, her face as pale as a frosted window and her hair a bunched mass of white, blonde curls. The girl's blank eyes held no colour and her dress was muted and torn and tied on her wrist was a green balloon with a gold dragon emblazoned on it.
She just stood staring down at Jonas and spoke in a mean little voice that echoed from within her, "you were meant to look after me."
"You, you ran off to get the balloon," Jonas replied from his sleep.
"You let the man take me."
"I tried to stop him, he hit me."
"He 'hurt' me," she cried holding out her colourless arms.
"I know," whispered Jonas's small voice, "it, it should have been me."
"It's never you, though, is it Jonas? It's always someone else dying in your place, sacrificing themselves so you can live and for what? So you can save the universe. You couldn't even save me. I waited for you in the dark, where the mean man put me, you know how scared I was of the dark? I called out for you to come find me but you never came: you let me die. How many more people are you going to let die, Jonas, how many more?"
The girl started to fade until she became nothing but light which plunged fiercely back into Jonas. The Kelownan sat up with a jolt and opened his eyes surveying the room, "Colonel," he said, surprised on seeing O'Neill there.
"Bad dream?" Jack probed.
"Yeah, I guess," Jonas answered giving nothing away.
Jack tried the more direct approach, "who's Mia?"
"Mia?" Jonas said, startled.
"Yeah, you said that name a few times in your sleep."
Jonas looked at O'Neill trying to gauge how much he knew then shook his head a little too convincingly, "I don't know a Mia, sir," he said but Jack saw the truth in his eyes.
He decided to let it rest for now.
========
Still more to come, if you're not bored already.
See ya.
:0)
