Remembering When

Author: Kaia Mariacle

Disclaimer: They're not mine, but a girl can dream.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Things don't always work out the way we expect.

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For those who care, music in rotation was:

The Eagles - Hell Freezes Over

&

Letters To Cleo - Aurora Gory Alice

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It started with a vague reference to beer, and grew from there.

Now, Colin smiles when he sees papers strewn on the living room floor. Ephram amidst the clutter, chewing on the tip of a pencil, and muttering.

They hadn't planned it this way.

It had been a normal day, full of normal chatter, and laughter across two thousand miles.

Colin had complained that they didn't even serve Wachusett at his favorite bar, said something about how his AC was on the fritz again. He continued, ranting about the obnoxious heat of the southwest, and how he can't believe that people claim dry is better than humid.

Ephram had murmured in agreement, and said something about his rent going up, how he was afraid he couldn't afford it anymore. Then he'd mumbled something about wishing he had a roommate.

Colin still kicks himself for completely missing that subtle hint.

Two months later, Colin met a girl, and called the familiar NY number to gush about her. Her name was Eva, and she was a bit shorter than him, with dark brown hair, and smoky eyes. Sometimes she called him C, and wondered aloud if the Barnes and Noble down the street would ever start stocking manga.

His best friend had whispered "that's cool, C" over the line when he'd told him she played the piano beautifully.

It wasn't until Colin was leaning against his windowsill one night, staring out at the starry sky, Eva asleep in bed behind him, that he realized how much she reminded him of Ephram.

Sometimes he thinks about her, and wonders if she knew she was just a stepping stone on his path to real love.

His next girlfriend was a redhead named Candy who worked as a waitress at night, and aspired to be an actress during the day. She had a sweet laugh, and smiled when he called her CandyLand, she read Shakespeare, and spoke with a cockney accent, and never ever listened to Beethoven on rainy nights.

Colin broke up with her after Ephram said he was thinking about dying his hair red.

He was twenty-three when he realized Arizona wasn't the place for him, and he called Ephram up, crying drunkenly into the phone that he missed Sunday night anime-fests, and finding his term paper in Ephram's freezer, and eating at Chachi's on Wednesday after class.

Ephram had laughed, and told Colin he could use a roommate.

So he packed up his things, and shipped them to New York, taking the first flight out as soon as he got everything in order. Ephram greeted him with a goofy smile and a big hug, said something about packing like a girl, and Colin knew he was home.

They learned to live with each other. It was a trying process sometimes, when they fought about what to watch on Tuesdays. Ephram swore by 24, and Colin could not stand to miss Smallville. As luck would have it, he started getting sick of the awful plotlines, and got caught up in Jack Bauer. He later realized that what had intrigued him about Smallville had been Clark and Lex.

Colin introduced Ephram to Mexican food, and Ephram returned the favor by taking him to a little Thai place just around the corner. They still eat there sometimes.

Each had to compromise once in a while, but neither one had been happier in years.

He was twenty-six when he almost lost his best friend.

They were fifteen again, and a pretty blonde stood in the middle.

Her name was Leila, and she was beautiful. Smart. Perfect.

Everything Ephram deserved and more.

Colin had been living with him for three years, and they had a routine. When Leila came along, everything changed, and so did Ephram.

He spent his nights out with her, and the only time he saw his best friend was in the morning right before they both had to go off to their respective jobs. Ephram would be scribbling notes frantically until Colin would come into the kitchen, pour him a cup of coffee, and pull the pencil and paper out of his hand.

They'd sit in silence for twenty minutes, drinking their coffee, eating their bagels, and they'd think about each other.

Though neither knew.

It was when Colin started living for those twenty minutes that he knew he was in trouble.

Then Ephram told him he was thinking about asking Leila to marry him, causing his heart to clench tightly, almost choking him, and he knew he had to do something.

So it was after three months of listening to the two of them every night, dreaming he was in his best friend's bed, and wondering how he could get there, that finally did.

They'd been sitting on the couch, watching Sports Night, and Ephram had been laughing over something Dana had done. Colin hadn't heard, he'd been too busy staring at Ephram's hands, wondering if they were as agile as they looked.

Ephram had looked up at him, and smiled, and said something about panties.

Then Colin had kissed him.

And Ephram had pushed him away, and stood up, looking like he was about to cry. He'd grabbed his car keys, and stormed out of the apartment.

Dumbstruck, Colin could only stare after him.

He'd waited to hear the thud of the front door, until the call came six hours later. His best friend had been in an accident, the voice on the other line said. Colin hadn't waited to hear the rest, he'd ran out of the house, not even bothering to grab his coat.

Ephram still calls him superman sometimes, swearing he'd gotten to the hospital faster than the speed of light.

Colin can remember the sterilized smell, and the stench of death as he ran down the hall. And he can still remember the acute relief he'd felt when he'd seen Ephram, bruised and bandaged, but awake and coherent.
He'd grabbed the smaller man, and almost squeezed him to death. It had been one of the best and worst moments of his life. And just when he'd almost-

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

Colin was startled out of his reverie by the sound of his lover's voice, arms wrapping gently around his waist, and fingers -very agile fingers- stroking his stomach softly.

"Oh, just about our first kiss." He says. "You finally done with you hundredth rewrite?"

Ephram laughed quietly, stilling. His nose brushed the back of Colin's neck, creating a full-body shiver of anticipation.

Thirty year old Colin likes to think that this was the way it was supposed to happen. That the two of them were meant to become friends first, and then lovers. That they were supposed to live through the Eva's and the Candy's and the Leila's, and stumble through life together until they finally found what they'd been searching for in each other.

And even when he wishes he'd realized it sooner, he leans back in Ephram's arms, turns his head to stare into brilliant eyes.

And thinks about the years to come.

~Finis~