Rowan- I'm here in Venice (which you probably figured out). So far I've seen one or two people I knew before but I'm trying to avoid the old crowd. Not hard. The last time I saw these guys I was 12- some have moved, others have moved on, and some are dead; the rest hang around. I walked through the old neighborhood. Kept my sweatshirt's hood up and walked fast, but I still stopped when I came to my old house. I mean it looked so plain, so old. That this was the place where my dad reigned supreme, that this was the place where fear was learned, that this is where I learned to swallow a pill dry. It was weird.

I used up enough of my cash and went to a club; saw a band you'd like. The drummer and singer are husband and husband. That wasn't what was weird but there were teenybopper girls who saw them on TRL screaming about how hot they were. They didn't 'act gay' or anything. Is that what people see when they look at me? A normal guy? I mean you're the first person I ever told. Someone else found out but. I mean I distanced myself for no reason kind of a thing? I dunno. I'm just kind of babbling. It's hard not to when you're staring at a blank sheet of paper with too much to say. That was a bright side of Horizon. You always knew what was happening to everyone else because news travels fast among the social rejects.

I dunno a lot of things. But the address on the cover- it's a couple of friends of mine who work at a music store (Fanatic) that you'd like that I used to go to all the time. I don't think they're gonna tell anyone where I am. They're good guys- they agreed to check to see I can have a part time job so I can have money to buy a better hotel to sleep, food, film and even have a bit of spare for pocket money (it'll go towards a fistful of train tickets to where I eventually want to end up or shows and CDs) How are you and Gabe going? Jaime