Sirius hurried along the corridor searching for Harry's classroom. He bumped into Harry and friends outside the dungeon. (Sirius is in dog form).

Sirius: "Harry, there you are"

Harry: "Don't touch me!"

Sirius started to speak but was interrupted by Filch and Mr Norris.

Filch: "I know there are children somewhere, Mr Norris, I can just feel it"

Harry and friends: "What happened to Mrs Norris??"

Filch: "THERE YOU ARE!"

Filch: "Oh. and it's not Mr Norris anyway. It never was..."

Filch was ashamed that he was gay and also in love with an animal so he had kept it secret all these long years by calling the cat Mr Norris.

Mr Norris: "It is Mr Norris thankyou very much"

Mr Norris: "Oh who are you???" Mr Norris had spotted Sirius as Padfoot.

Sirius (flirting): "Snuffles, actually"

Mr Norris: "Rrraugh" *with claws*

Sirius turned back into a man.

Harry (hopefully): "So Sirius, you were only playing with me after all??"

Sirius: "No, I love you Harry, how could you think that?"

Harry: "Well you seemed pretty cosy with Mr Norris"

Sirius (wailing): NO! It's not supposed to be like this- I'm in love with two men"

Mr Norris: "Men?"

Harry: "Well you don't have to love me, I don't want you"

Sirius (pointing to Mr Norris): "OK, I'll have him then"

Harry(pointing to Viktor): "And I'll have him"

Viktor looked away in disgust.

Viktor (pointing to Ron): "I want him"

Ron looked away in disgust.

Ron (pointing to Harry): "I want him"

Harry looked away in disgust.

Snape: "This is GOOD"

Filch: "Nooooooooo! I'll have to live alone the rest of my life now that Mr Norris got with that.. that..THING!" *spat*

Marvin: "You could live with me??"

Filch: "OK then"

And they skipped off into the sunset.if that is possible.