Janie and Singing

I still felt terrible remorse for that night I was at the Conner household. Casey kept telling me it wasn't my fault, but that was so hard to believe. Although it was like a month later it still felt like a stab. Why did Mr. Conner call me a slut? I guess I'd never ever know.

One Friday afternoon I left school just because I wanted too. I got into my rickety car and put on my music. A smile crossed my face and I was off and away. My cell phone started to play its ringing tone version of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and I picked it up.

"Hello? Karyn speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hey you. What are you up too and why did you leave school."

I knew it was Casey and I told him I just felt like skipping fifth, sixth and seventh period. His sigh was quite auditable and I giggled. Casey then asked me if I could check up on Janie. I said yes of course and told my lover bye. After I hung up I pulled into the Conner's driveway. I turned off my music and jumped out of my car. My eye caught sight of one of the tires and it looked flat.

"Shit" was my only response.

I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. No reply, so I rang the doorbell and yelled into the door:

"Janie it's me, Karyn! You can open up"

She opened the door slowly and pulled me in fast. Janie was dressed in a pink sweatshirt and a pair of holey blue jeans. I actually thought to myself "My kind of style." Her blue eyes looked around the room frantically. I was puzzled so naturally I asked questions.

"So why are you home? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then why are you home?"

She paused for several minutes and bit her lower lip. I could tell it was something that was bothering her. I loved her like a sister and I wanted to help her. So I asked her why she was home again.

"Ok, ok" she said huffing. "It's because I hate everyone in my school, I'm miserable, I'm lonely and no one likes me."

"What? Janie you can't hate EVERYONE in your school. It's not possible. I like you, Casey loves you to death and your parents."

"Hate me too. They wanted a beauty queen and a jock for children. But they were dealt a school nerd and school weirdo."

I was hurt and deeply sadden to hear Janie talk like this. At 13 her life was supposed to be fun. She was supposed to enjoy life, not hate it. Janie was to young act like this. So I suggested that we sat down and talk. We talked and talked throughout the afternoon about what was bugging her. I offered my best advice (the "brand" Casey refers to as the "safe" kind) and views on stuff she wanted answered. She calmed down a bit and then got up a put a CD in the DVD player. She looked at me and laughed.

"I hope you like the Beatles."

"Like, I loved the Beatles darling" I replied laughing.

"Good."

She played the song "Here Comes The Sun". I informed her it was my favorite Beatles song and she nodded in agreement. She said it was hers too. I felt happy because Janie was smiling and looking radiant. I thought back for a moment, and it hit me. It was the first time I ever saw her happy. All the times I saw her before she looked like a pale doll frowning or scared. But today, she looked like for once she was satisfied with herself.

"Karyn can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, shoot"

"Have you ever," she paused. "Have you ever, you know done 'it' with a guy?"

I couldn't help but laugh loudly. She looked at me with a look of confusion on her face. I stopped laughing at calmed down.

"Well have you," she asked again.

"What do you think Janie?"

"Um, no"

"I've got news for you. I have."

Her eyes filled up with a weird admiring look. I wondered what's so magical about sex? Then I paused for a minute and thought if she was going to ask whom I did the deed with. My heart filled with panic for a moment, should I lie or tell her the truth. I didn't know and cursed myself for not having Miss Cleo vision for a minute.

"Who was it with" she asked.

"Ummmm, I don't think you would care to know."

"Yes I would. Please tell me."

Her blue eyes looked at me with a pleading look and I gave in. I explained to her Casey and I did the magical deed. Then I heard the door began to open. I hid under the couch hoping it wasn't Mr. or Mrs. Conner. I saw sneakers walk over to my hiding place and I knew it was Casey.

"Casey don't sit down, let me get out" I yelled to him.

"Ok."

I got up and saw Casey smiling at me. I rolled me eyes at him and threw my arms around him. Casey and I fell into a very nice passionate kiss. His body was sweaty and I asked what happened. He said the air conditioner was on the fritz again. We kissed again, and then he took me up to his room. When I was walking up the stairs I saw Janie sitting on the couch. She was sighing, and tears streamed down her cheeks.