The scene at the dinner table is a repeat of the earlier one, but with the table laid, and two new players. Soun introduced a stocky bespectacled man wearing a grubby white gi and a bandanna. "This is Genma Saotome, Ranma and Deru's father. We trained together a long time ago."

Greetings rippled from the girls.

"I believe my ungrateful sons have convinced you not to uphold the engagement I agreed with your father." Genma asked, looking more like Gendo, complete with steepled fingers. [Have you noticed how all really bad fathers in Anime have first names beginning with 'Gen'? Except for Sochiro Tomoe.]

"Saotome-san, it was an agreement we all wanted dissolved." replied Kasumi, pouring her own brand of oil on troubled water.

"And you two, have you no honour?" Ranma glowered at Genmas statement but stayed silent when Deru touched his shoulder. "Ahh, if only my sons were true men. I'm sure they would have kept my solemn promise. But they are weak and womanish."

Ranma asked hotly. "If this arrangement was so 'honourable', old man, why didn't you tell me or mom?" Deru interjected, "Now father, I'm sure you don't want to give our hosts the wrong impression."

Kasumi left the table and returned with platters of food. Beef yakitori, tempura, udon noodles with tofu, all done to the Kasumi standard. The table was silenced. "Thank you for the meal!", came from Deru, Ranma, Akane and Nabiki. Genma just tucked straight in, Ranma followed suit, but got elbowed unobtrusively by Deru and started slowing down. The girls were looking on in astonishment. Soun however looked pleased. "Genma, you still have a good healthy appetite. You like Kasumi's cooking?" Genma made a muffled affirmative, without slowing down.

Deru paused, a piece of tempura in his chopsticks. "It is good.", Ranma nodded, "Delicious!". While he was eating at a more normal rate than Ranma fanfic readers would expect, he was also fending off Genmas chopsticks, which were trying to snag a slice of yakitori. The fact that he was also getting some food to his mouth and none on the table is a minor miracle. ['Kono ii desu' and 'Oishii!' if you must know. And yes the author does like Japanese food.]

Nabiki looked across at Deru, since Ranma who's sat opposite her is fully occupied. "Is your dad always like this?" Deru nodded. "Reaction training. If my bowl was in range I'd be fending off the chopsticks of doom." He sighs. "On the road, food is sometimes hard to come by. Table manners and a full stomach don't mix."

Soun agrees. "The life of a martial artist is hard and fraught with peril."

Genma has finished his servings. "Yes indeed. The true martial artist will stop at nothing to become the best he can be. He must be willing to give his life for the art."

Ranma growls. "I was willing to give my life. My manhood is another story. And so is my dinner!" His chopsticks catch Genma's in mid snatch and break them, the ends flipping back into Genma's bowl.

Nabiki whispered to Akane, sitting next to her. "And you want to train with these guys?"

Akane looked a little unsure herself.

"Pop turns everything into training." Ranma said. "We've spent years travelling round, finding masters of various techniques and learning from them. Of course, the last month we've also been looking for a cure."

Akane looked relieved to be able to change the subject. "What about this Amazon village you were talking about earlier? You said they might have a cure."

"Oh that. That was the original plan, but it kinda went. a little off track."

Deru burst out laughing. "That has to be the biggest understatement I've ever heard."

"O.K. it went completely pear shaped, but it did turn out alright, even if we didn't find a cure."

This elicited demands from several of the table's occupants that the story be told. As the eating continued, Ranma took up the gauntlet. The Jyusenkyo guide had told them of a tribe, four days travel from the springs, which might know other ways to reverse its effects, and might be willing to help them. Having no better options they asked him to lead them there. The other excellent reason was that they were almost out of food.

"When we'd got there, me and Deru hadn't eaten for a day. The guide still had some food, but even pop wasn't idiot enough to try to steal some from the only guy who had a clue where we were. Besides he could tear off a strip of bamboo if he was feeling peckish."

Genma rumbled. "Foolish boy! It takes a great deal of bamboo to make a decent meal for a panda."

Ranma looked askance at him. "Especially if the panda is you, pop."

He continued. "He was panda'd and we were girls at the time. We pass by the edge of the village and there's people fighting it out on a log. The guide said about it being a martial arts tournament. Of course we weren't listening too hard because we'd found this huge banquet table, laden down with food. Of course we chowed down. The guide was saying something in Chinese, but at the time my Chinese was bad and the food was very good. Deru was trailing, I think he, sorry she, was feeling less than well after certain. events the previous day." The girls counted, remembered a previous conversation and winced.

"Anyway. She came up behind us, and managed to blindside us both. That has to be the only time that's ever been done. Then she told us what the guide had said, that this was the victory feast for the winner of the village tournament and if we were found eating it we'd be in big trouble. Deru, of all people, should know not to say things like that, because big trouble, in the form of half the village immediately found us. Our pop immediately took to his heels."

"Foolish boy. My stomach was feeling a bit unwell after that rich food and I went for a gentle jog to settle it."

"Sez you. The last time you ran that fast you were being chased by those monks from the Temple of Silence." He forestalled the question. "Don't ask. I got about one word in three of the next bit so Deru had better explain it."

Deru took over. "We were surrounded and out numbered by people with extremely pointy and lethal weapons. Mostly hand to hand stuff, and bows, but there were enough that running wasn't really a safe option. Fortunately their Chinese was close enough to Mandarin that I could understand it.

"There was one purple haired girl, Xian Pu. She was carrying bonbori and looked very annoyed. Definitely 'sharp coral' rather than 'uncut jade' She had just won the tournament and was greatly ticked off that someone had been at it. She turned on me yelling. 'How dare you let your pet panda and that redhead eat my prize.'"

There were sniggers from around the table.

"Natural mistake for an Amazon. I was the oldest female in the party, I was in charge. Of course I apologised most profusely in my best Mandarin. I told her that we'd been without food for some time and that it had just been too tempting for my younger sibling. We'd come to the village specifically for help because we'd heard they had great wisdom. My stomach also made a rather audible plea. That mollified the situation somewhat, at least to the point where we were not about to be shish kebobed. However there still had to be a reckoning. We went up before the head of the elders, Khu Lon. Little old lady, but she had a presence about her, definitely a 'daunting mountain'."

Akane said "Are those names for real? They sound like."

"I know the English translations. Go figure. That's when Ranma found out about the outsider laws."

Ranma shrugged, "Actually I can't take much credit. I was next to the guide and said I could just challenge her and win the prize fair and square. He gave me a shocked look and said. 'Oh no honoured customer. Amazon women have very big pride. Loosing to outsider is shame worse than death, Amazon honour bound to follow her to the ends of the Earth and kill her.' Of course when I asked about turning male, he told me about the marriage thing. I'd have probably walked straight into that if I'd been alone."

Deru shook his head. "You're brighter then that. Anyway Khu Lon questioned myself and Ranma in good Japanese. It came down to two options, either become personal servants to Xian Pu for a week to repay the food we'd consumed, (we couldn't just pay for it, dad had most of the cash anyway) or we challenged her as Ranma had suggested. When I raised their outsider laws she said that first we could take the three challenges of the Amazons to show we were worthy as Amazons rather than outsiders. I had a bit of trouble with the translation there. Anyway we could then do a match with Xian Pu without the outsider laws. Ranma of course wanted to do the challenges.

"It was a tough decision. From the way people acted these three challenges were no walk in the park. Besides there was another consideration. What I did next was based on the fact that there were men as well as women carrying weapons. Of course women outnumbered them but they were there. There was also the fact that the Amazons were supposed to set great store by honour. I told them about the curse, and that we'd come to ask if they knew a way to cure it. A little hot water proved it."

Ranma interjected. "At the time I thought Deru was nuts. But it turned out he'd done right. While some people were shouting that we shouldn't get any hearing, Khu Lon at least was interested. She refused to give us any information on cures until the food matter was settled, and held to the same two choices."

Deru continued. "Of course we discussed it, and took the challenges. While we would have been safer doing menial work for Xian Pu, we'd have gained zero respect, and we needed that to get answers. Besides, it goes against the nature of a Saotome to turn down a challenge."

"Well said boy." Genma said.

"Whatever. Anyway, the challenges took a day to prepare, and during the time we were more or less locked up. At least they fed us, even if it was just rice and water. Xian Pu came to visit, mostly to size us up. Not that she thought we had a chance. We took the challenges and passed, though we had a couple of close calls."

"Hey" came from Akane. "What were the challenges?"

"Very scary." Deru grinned. "I'm not sure you'd believe us. Oh, they'd make good T.V, but lousy stories. Besides Ranma went first." He took a drink of water.

"Gee, thanks bro." Ranma frowned. "You really want to know? The first was 'the test of skill and perception', or at least that's what Khu Lon said. Not that big a problem. Floor of the cavern was made up of needle sharp poles which could wobble back and forth," he demonstrated with his chopsticks, "and they did. Bunches came together then split apart randomly. Some sort of water power I guess, Deru could probably tell ya. So the idea was to cross the cavern without getting spiked. As long as you could stay on the bunches you were o.k. If you landed on an empty area it wouldn't support you and." he snapped the chopsticks. "There'd still be enough spikes to skewer you, though."

"You forgot the spiked pendulums." Deru noted.

"You want to tell this? Like he said, big logs swung back and forth with spikes sticking out of them. Fortunately pop's been putting us through stuff like that for years. Without the spikes, but that's probably cause he couldn't afford them. As I said, not much problem. As long as you watched your footing and such it was fairly simple."

"For you maybe. I don't have your supernatural balance. I avoided getting spiked, but there were a few times.. You forgot to mention that it was raining on the way to the caves. Doing that as a girl really messed up my balance" Deru commented.

"You figured out the second one though."

"Oh yes, the 'test of courage and wit.' There you had to guide a ball down a whole bunch of bamboo tubes like a maze."

"That sounds easy enough." Nabiki said.

"The problem was the controls for the gates that moved it were behind shutters, with razor sharp edges. Stick your hand in at the wrong time and they'd call you 'Stumpy' for the rest of your life." Deru held up his hands. "The trick was there was a pattern to how they moved. I watched it for some time before I started and memorised the pattern. It wasn't like there was a time limit. I wasn't allowed to tell Ranma what I had done, though he did watch. He figured it out himself though."

"Actually big bro I didn't. I just watched what you did and followed it."

Deru devil posed for a bit. Finally he mumbled. "Fortune favours small children, fools and guys called Ranma Saotome."

"Nice of you to put me in a separate category there big bro. It was the third one that was hard. 'The test of strength and will.' You had to hold a large weight out, straight-armed for one minute. Drop it and you release various lethal spiked things. What made it worse was that it was inside a box, and the grip, well it musta had knobs or something that made contact with pressure points in the hand. I know there was enough fussing with the box beforehand. The upshot was, just gripping the thing was agony. I don't know how I managed the full 60 seconds but Deru cheering me on had to help."

"No charge." Deru said lightly. "I must admit that one almost defeated me."

"This sounds like the plot of an action movie." stated Nabiki, suspiciously.

Deru said, "You don't have to believe it, but it's what happened, as best as we can remember. Besides do you think we could make up this sort of stuff? Anyhow, three challenges, check. Respect gained from villagers, check. From then on our hut was unlocked. We were free to go around the village. We usually went as girls, because the rain would still not let up for long. The match with Xian Pu was set for the day after next, I'm not sure why. Dad was still playing pandas in the mist."

"I had gotten lost, boy."

"In the meantime I talked to people who would talk to me, Ranma went to watch people training, with the guide. Our own training sessions attracted attention, including Xian Pu's."

"They had some cool special techniques. I got to try a few afterwards." Ranma said excitedly.

"Come the day, I had to fight Xian Pu first. I held my own for a good long time, even got in some good hits of my own but eventually got dropped by a bonbori strike. Then Ranma took her on."

Ranma shrugged. "What can I say? Deru had worn her down and she was using those bonbori. That slowed her down. She'd also gotten used to Deru's style. I'm faster and more aggressive. She was a challenge, but I eventually managed to slip inside her guard and throw her from the log. She was relying on her weapons too much. She got straight up and stalked off the field before I could jump down and say 'Good match' and such. I was a bit surprised, after all it was just a match over some food, right?"

Deru raised his finger. "But we were wrong. I found out why later. I woke up in the village infirmary."

"Infirmary? From the way you were describing them I'd have though witch doctors were more the style."

"Don't make assumptions. They live in the 20th century too. Their place was stocked up with modern antiseptics and bandages, right along side the herbal remedies. Not that those were ineffective. Anyway I woke up and heard someone crying. When I got up and went round the back, there was Xian Pu crying. I mean this was Xian Pu, girl of steel, Amazon warrior. Turns out she'd made some very unwise boasts about how things were going to turn out, and now she'd been defeated she was in. a bad position. As Khu Lon's great grand daughter and the best fighter in the village she was more or less slated to be leader of the warriors. Now all that was in jeopardy."

"I'd have thought she'd have gone after you, for vengeance sort of thing."

"No. She was in a state. She looked defeated. Well it wasn't like we were out to get her so Ranma and I came up with a plan...while I 'recovered'.

"So it was back to the law room. This time there were no guards. Ranma was effectively in charge this time because she'd won, but she asked that I do the speaking for her, to avoid accidentally giving offence."

Ranma grinned. "My Chinese sounds worse than the guide's Japanese."

"Then Khu Lon dropped the bombshell. She invited us to stay in the village. Well more than invited, actually. Those tests weren't to prove we were worthy to be treated as Amazons, it was effectively an initiation rite to become Amazons. It was also clear that she wasn't happy about it. I detected a distinct smell of politics. Evidently her prestige was affected by her protégé's. So I thanked her for her invitation, using the word that way rather than the imperative she used, but claimed prior commitments which we were honour bound to follow in our home land.

"I also reminded them that we were originally male and that we intended to become so permanently as soon as we could. Under those circumstances we could not in honour remain as Amazons. All we asked for was lodging for a few days to prepare ourselves for the journey home. Then I added Ranma's contribution. Since we were unable to remain, we asked that Xian Pu act as our champion. that's roughly what it translates to anyway. As the acknowledged best fighter in the village, and one of the best fighters we'd met in our travels, she would duel on our behalf, rather than Amazons having to come find us. Ranma also added that we would back it up ourselves." He picked up his last piece of tempura.

Nabiki looked to be working this out in her head. "So not only did you get free board and a way home, you effectively restored Shampoo's position and safeguarded Cologne's. That is devious!" Her tone was more admiration then censure.

"Deru always comes through with stuff like that." Ranma said, "We ended up staying two weeks. Khu Lon was grateful, and Xian Pu became a friend, especially after I worked with her on some moves from our style. In return Khu Lon showed me some special moves. I haven't had time to practice them yet, but they're going to be extreme!"

"But this was the prize." Deru reached into one of his ubiquitous pockets and pulled out a plain white packet. "Instant Nanniichuan. Just add cold water. Khu Lon gave me a dozen packets, all they had on hand."

"That's the boy spring isn't it? Have you tried it?" Akane queried.

"Yes we have. Unfortunately it's a one shot thing. Use it on yourself and cold water no longer turns you into a girl. As I understand it, rather than turning you into a particular girl or boy, those two springs turn you into your equivalent form. The instant nanniichuan overwrites the original curse so we turn into our male equivalents rather than female. Effectively, we're cursed to become ourselves."

Ranma grins "In your case big bro I heartily sympathise."

Deru grinned back. "It could be worse. I could be cursed to turn into you!"

As Ranma mimes being struck in the heart, Nabiki becomes impatient.

"So what's the catch? Do you turn into a pumpkin at midnight?"

Amid the muffled laughs, Deru continued. "No, it's simpler than that. Hot water cancels it instantly. Then we revert back to our uncursed forms. Prolonged immersion in cold water will eventually leach it away too. So if we went swimming or bathing in cold water we'd eventually become girls. Of course, we're saving them for real emergencies." Genma had been creeping over and tried to snatch the packet, but Deru had already caused it to disappear.

The last of the food had been eaten. Genma and Soun got up first saying something about a shoji match, and left the younger generation round the table.

Akane suddenly jumped up from the table. "Gak, homework! I completely forgot about finishing that essay for Godai-sensei." She heads upstairs in a figurative cloud of dust.

Nabiki asked the two brothers. "What about you? Aren't you missing school while you're off having adventures?"

Ranma speaks first. "Heh. I get by. Pop has something arranged with the headmaster of our local school. As long as pass the exams, or can show marks from another school, I get registered as a student. Pop never thought school was that important anyway, but mum insisted I kept up."

Nabiki looked sceptical. "That must be hard if your never there for the lessons."

"We did settle down for a while occasionally. I usually went in middle school as a transfer student. But mostly, Deru tutored me while we were on the road together. It was more interesting than listening to pops endlessly rattle on." Ranma shrugged.

"Which only leaves the question of where he got it from." Nabiki's gaze switched to Deru.

Deru put his hand on his chin. "We had a system. I was a couple of years ahead of Ranma. Dad had the same arrangement with the headmaster for me, so my attendance records were more a work of fiction than anything else. I usually got in some time during the first or second term. I got on good terms with the teachers and got what the source books were and so on. By the end of the first term I had notes and such for the rest of the year. Then I could join dad and Ranma on the road with my notes and the ones I'd made when I did his year. I'm a quick study. Of course we both took hits in our grades for missing coursework and less study but we did alright."

Kasumi smiled. "It is good to know that you both managed to get an education. So what do you intend to do now?"

Ranma answered first. "Well, mom made Deru stay home for the two years of high school. Meant a tougher time for me. She'll likely get me to do the same. I guess I hafta. I need good grades for college, and I can't be an accredited sensei without a phys ed degree [Don't they have a tripos system in Japan anyway? Oh well just stick in whatever university level course you're supposed to have.]. After that.I want to teach." he shrugged.

Kasumi queried Deru next. "Are you going to university too?"

Deru continued. "I finished high school year before last. I'd like to do a degree in Mechanical engineering, but I don't have the money, for course fees or accommodation. With my grades I've no chance for a scholarship, and as for a loan. Besides I'm going to have other responsibilities." He fingers a pocket. "I'm getting married next year, at least I hope to."

"What?" Nabiki exclaimed. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"Ukyo Kunoji." He brings out a small self sealing plastic bag with a picture and a thin gold ring in.

Nabiki looks quizzical. "Isn't Ukyo a boy's name? You mean you."

"No!" Ranma and Deru chorused together. Deru continued. "It was her fathers idea. I think he wanted a boy, to train in his martial arts style. In fact that's how we met. We trained together, and eventually." He passed round the bag. [You know what Ukyo looks like] Ukyo is smiling, holding up a hand with the rings twin on it. "We're waiting till she's 18, and finishes high school. She wants to own her own restaurant. I've read enough on stuff on small businesses to handle that side and she's a fantastic cook."

"I'm going to be their first customer." Ranma claimed.

"She's very pretty," Kasumi said conventionally, "But why don't you wear your ring."

Deru sighed. "It used to be to avoid it getting stolen on the road. Now it's because there's too much chance of loosing it when I change to female."

"Does she know?" Nabiki inquires.

Deru's shoulders dropped. "How could she? It's not the sort of thing you can explain over the phone. Tomorrow I have to show her. This thing is the pits." He's silent for a long minute.

Unusually, it's Ranma who has some words of comfort. "Chin up, bro. Ucchan's cool. She'll understand."