Disclaimer:
I do not own ANYTHING! So have mercy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The usual hustle and bustle during break at Hogwarts was taking place. The
Marauders were haunting their usual corner of the grounds, joking and laughing,
just like always.
"Did you SEE Snivellus during Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Sirius
dissolved into fits of rancorous laughter, while Peter and Remus chuckled
hardily. "I thought he was going to piss himself, the old pillock.
Especially when that Clawing Whizzerfly climbed all the way up his dirty
knickers!" Sirius, Remus, and Peter hooted in fits of laughter.
Meanwhile, James was craning his neck, searching the courtyard for a flaming
patch of bright red hair. Where could Lily be? James needed to ask her about
tutoring him in charms, nearly two weeks had passed and she had not said a
word. Sirius swore she had been avoiding him because of his rag mop of a head.
James finally spotted her, alone, leaning against a stone wall opposite him. He
left the group without saying anything, and quickly made his way over to her.
"Hi!" James sang joyously.
Lily jumped at the sound of his voice, and started to edge away.
"Lily, I've been meaning to ask you," James simply edged along with
her. "Have you given anymore thought to tutoring me in charms? I could
really use your help!" James flashed his winning smile at her.
What did he think she was? Stupid? Lily snorted bitterly to herself. She
wondered what he wanted. Well, it wouldn't hurt anything just to give it a try.
Or would it? Lily shook off her paranoia, and decided to take a chance on
James.
"All right, James. If it's okay, I thought you could meet me in the
library at 7:30 tonight, for your first lesson."
"Sounds good to me. I'll meet you there!" James was practically
floating on air. She said YES! She SAID yes! SHE said yes! He couldn't wipe the
stupid grin from his face the entire day.
At dinner James noticed Sirius staring at him, with a funny face.
"Take a picture there, P-Slice. It'll last a whole lot longer." James
frowned at Sirius.
"What? Oh—sorry, mate. You've been really giddy today."
Remus snorted with laughter. Sirius threw him an evil glance before continuing.
"Yes, as I was saying, giddy. You've been a complete oaf, walking into
things, smiling stupidly at everyone you meet.
It's just strange."
"Yeah, he's right, James. Snivellus is going to think you have a crush on
him if you keep waving at him in the hall." Peter sniggered at his clever
joke. James rolled his eyes.
"Oh, it's nothing my fellow Messrs. of Mischief. After dinner I have my
first tutoring session with Lily, that's all. I'm just going to meet her in the
library at 7:30." James tucked in to his pasty, as if nothing was out of
the ordinary.
A totally devious smile spread over Sirius' face. James looked up just in time
to catch it.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing! It's just—just wittle Jamsie's got himself a date wif wittle
Wiwykins! Awwwwwwe! How cute!" Sirius fluttered his eyelashes for affect
and watched James turn beet red with brutal satisfaction.
"Stuff it you git. You know that's not how it is. I-"
"Awe! Wittle Jamsie's getting emberwessed! Wook! How cute!" Remus
joined in.
"Ohh! Major burn-do you need some aloe for that BURN?" Peter giggled
delightedly.
James fumed and checked his watch. He huffily grabbed his bag and rose from the
table.
"Where are you going, mate!" Sirius called after James. "We were
only having a go at you! It's not big deal!"
"Yeah, I know that. I'll be late if I don't leave now!" James hurried
out of the Great Hall and up the staircase to the library.
Sirius chewed thoughtfully on some trifle before checking his own watch.
"What a git. What a complete git. It's only 6:30."
Remus laughed. "Well, at least now he'll have time to primp for her. An
hour's time, mind you."
The three shook their heads incredulously and continued their meal.
****
James paced the library nervously. He had fluffed up his hair half a million
times, and was just going on five hundred thousand, one, when Lily glided
through the door.
"HI!" James stopped pacing and spoke perhaps a bit too
enthusiastically. Lily was taken aback and smiled.
"Oh—hey, James. Have you been waiting long, it's." she checked her
watch. "7:25."
"Ohhh no! Not long—" an awkward silence followed.
"Well—er," Lily blushed, as she finally spoke up. "Shall we get
started then?"
James shook his head excitedly.
"Right, then. I thought we should start with Switching Spells. So open
your book to chapter twelve, and we'll begin."
"Okay, right. My—book." James looked around for a moment then
hesitated. Where was his book? Grreeeeeat. He must have left it in his trunk.
Lily was watching him expectedly.
"Uh…I seem to—have…forgotten it." James rubbed the back of his neck
nervously, feeling it burn beneath his touch. He must be blushing. Wonderful!
That was even better. But why?
It was only Lily.
"Oh! Well. That's okay." Lily smiled at him beautifully. "We can
share."
"All right, that sounds good. Thanks."
"No problem."
Lily and James worked on different charms for nearly an hour and a half, James
seemingly making little progress. Lily encouraged him the whole time, but it
only seemed to worsen James' attempts at the spell he was trying. Lily sighed
dejectedly.
"You did…okay. Just make sure you practice. We'll meet again, say…"
Lily thought quickly. "Ohh…how about in a week?"
James thought for a minute before surprising himself with an answer. "I
don't know, Lily. I'm not doing that great. Maybe we should meet every three
days or so. Just to see?" James looked at her hopefully.
"Okay, whatever you want. Same time then?" She was still smiling at
him, holding her wrist in her hand.
"Yep. Thanks a load Lils." James hurriedly grabbed his bag a waited
for Lily so they could leave the library together.
"Lils?" Lily thought to herself. What was he trying to pull? Sure he
was a nice guy and all, but surely he didn't want to be her friend. No--not
even. Maybe he just wanted to pull a prank or something. She wrapped her arms
around herself and walked a bit faster.
"Lils! Wait up!" James nearly had to run to keep up.
Lily stopped, but still did not look at him.
"James," she said in a weak whisper. "I'm helping you out of my
own accord, you know. And I don't want to be made a joke of."
James had to crouch down to hear her, but when he did he gasped.
"Lily! I promise I'm not trying to pull a joke on you! Why would you even
think that?" James looked completely horrified, and Lily saw it in his
face, so she didn't press any further.
"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I don't know. Never mind." She
turned her head to face forward again, and still did not look James directly in
the face.
"Lily," James said after a moment of silence. "I just want to
get to know you, that's all. And you're a wonder at charms, I only thought I
could use the help. Please don't think I'm joking around."
James sounded sincere. Lily sighed and turned to him.
"Okay, I don't. Thank you for walking me back to the common room. And I'll
see you in transfiguration tomorrow.
Bye." Lily said all of this very quickly, and hastily scrambled in
the portrait hole.
By the time James had entered she was already on her way up the stairs.
"Tomorrow, then, Lily." James said to himself, before he was pummeled
with a pack of flying pillows sent levitating his way courtesy Peter, Remus,
and Sirius. He laughed loudly and threw them back, scurrying over to join the
fun.
****
Lily woke up with the covers twisted around her frail body, cold sweat wetting
the back of her neck. It made her feel even dirtier then she already was. She
shivered compulsively and tried to untangle herself from the masses of sheets.
Lily thought since she had been back at school a fair amount of time the
nightmares would stop. But it was nearing Quidditch season, and she was still
having dreams about Him almost nightly. Lily shook herself, as if to
dislodge the awful images from the recesses of her mind. She rose creakily from
the bed, cradling her aching wrist. Lily needed a hot bath, to cleanse her. She
felt absolutely disgusting.
Lily hurried out of the room and to the nearest loo. She cranked on the hot
water and watched it pour heavily from the tap. Steam rose thickly into the
air, shrouding the room in a hot cloud of mist. With one shaky hand Lily undid
the buttons on her dressing gown, then pajamas, hiding herself against
imaginary eyes. She slipped into the hot water, feeling satisfied as it seared
her skin. She began scrubbing viciously and her skin reddened before her eyes.
She knew it was for her own good. Maybe if she scrubbed enough she might one
day be clean enough to deserve friends, friends like Remus, James, Sirius, and
Peter, even. As she thought she leaked tears down her fair cheeks. Soon the
random drip-drops became torrents of tears falling down Lily's face like a
quiet spring storm. It was like one when there is no sound, before or after the
storm, and the rain falls steadily, beading down windowpanes.
Her eyes held the pain she had been suffering with for months. One look into
those great green chasms would mean heartbreak for anyone who laid eyes on
them. Subtle wrinkles on Lily's smooth, shining complexion began to make
themselves more prominent, betraying her quiet, but happy façade on life. Lily
sobbed into her hands, letting go, losing control, if only for that one moment,
before mentally jerking herself back to her senses. She had scrubbed until the
bathwater turned cold. It was the best she would be able to do, tonight anyway.
Lily hurriedly stepped out of the swimming pool-sized bath and wrapped a towel
around her tender skin, again quickly veiling herself from unseen eyes. She
hastily finished toweling off and slid back into her pajamas, and robe.
There was no use trying to get more sleep tonight. Lily crept into the common
room and picked a large, over-stuffed, high back chair to curl up in, right in
front of the fire. Before settling in she took a blanket from the back of a
nearby couch, and wrapped herself in it. Lily stared at the fire for some
minutes, watching it crackle and burn. Before she knew it she had drifted off
into an uneasy sleep.
****
"Honestly Sirius! Would you STUFF IT? You're going to give us away!"
James hissed angrily in Sirius' ear as the Marauders crept slyly down one of
the many corridors of Hogwarts. The invisibility cloak barely covered them all.
It was a real stretch, all the boys towering at least six feet even.
Being the Head Boy of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry obviously
didn't phase any pranks going through James Potter's head. Truth be told, it
probably made him more apt to scheme. He looked down the hall to find what he
would've rather not. James' eyes
widened in horror.
"Oh shit! Get out of the way!" Sirius had finally stopped joking
around long enough to realize there was a figure approaching them in the
corridor. The four Marauders swiftly slid to the right side of the hallway,
swishing the cloak out of the path of a tall, sweeping form, gliding down the
passageway. They held their breath, miraculously escaping.
"Sirius, it's a good thing you finally shut up, otherwise Professor Aquina
would have had us for sure!" Sirius gave a quite "yelp" when
Remus flicked his ear as an ending to his statement.
"Do you have any idea what she would have done to us if she caught us! I
can't be blamed for losing anymore Gryffindor points! Even first years are
threatening me!" Peter whimpered meekly, crouched under the cloak.
James cautiously reached over and ruffled Peter's sandy, already-thinning hair.
"Wormtail, Wormtail, Wormtail. What ever are we going to do with
you?" James sighed, light-heartedly, punching Peter in the arm. Peter
winced and began to rub his arm, although he did smile weakly before turning to
head back down the corridor.
"Well, at least we pulled off Operation Baby Skrewt. I can't wait for
Snivellus to wake up and find his new wittle pet!" Sirius pouted his lip
and pretended to find the physique of skrewts particularly adorable. James
shivered.
"How did you get the password for Slytherin anyway, James?" Peter
looked around, amazed.
"Peter, you pillock. I'm Head Boy. I know all the passwords." The
boys chuckled heartily at Peter's nearsightedness. Peter grumbled and rolled
his eyes before beginning to chortle with the rest.
At long last James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, reached the Fat Lady.
"Eid tromedlov." Sirius stuck his head out of the cloak, revealing
the password just as the Fat Lady jerked awake.
".You.you may..you may enter the house of teething monkeys." With a
last snore the Fat Lady swung forward, admitting the four troublemakers back to
safety.
By the time they had made their way into the common room, the Marauders were
nearly rolling on the floor with laughter.
"Teeth-teething.teething MONKEYS?" Remus wiped a tear off his cheek
as he struggled to choke the words out. The other three roared with laughter.
The adrenaline finally wearing off, the four seventeen-year-olds, realized just
how loud they had been laughing, and also just how tired they were becoming.
James quieted down and headed straight for his favorite chair. He placed his
hands on its high back, preparing to vault himself over the top when he felt
something silky soft beneath his fingertips. He jumped, scared at first. James
curiously peered over the chair to see who had taken his spot. And there, there
he saw Lily, curled up in a blanket, seemingly peacefully alseep. By that time
Remus, Sirius, and Peter had crowed around him to see what was going on. James
put a finger to his lips, silencing them.
They were turning to creep up the boys' staircase when they heard a muffled
moan coming from behind them. As one, the Marauders crept back over to Lily's
sleeping form to find her tossing and turning in the chair, with a frightened
look on her face. James could see the cold perspiration forming on Lily's
forehead. She whimpered softly. He felt his heart contract with sympathy. What
could be troubling her so much she was having such terrible nightmares?
James motioned the rest of the group to follow him to the corner opposite Lily.
He looked at them sadly. "Do you guys think we should wake her?"
There were small murmurs coming from the remainder of the Marauders.
"I don't know, Jamsie. What if when we do, she gets upset or
embarrassed?" Sirius looked to Remus and Peter for their opinions.
"Sirius is right P-Man. What if she never talks to you, or any of us
again?" Peter nodded fervently at Remus' statement.
James looked torn between waking Lily from the obvious torture, and the obvious
torture he would feel if she never spoke to him again.
"Why don't you all go on up to bed? I just want to make sure she doesn't
fall out of that chair, and she very well could, tossing and turning like
that."
There was mumbling of consensus from the group and they turned to head up the
stairs.
"James!" Sirius called from the foot of the steps in a loud whisper.
"Are you sure you don't need any help?"
"I'm fine, Padfoot! I'll be up in a bit!"
As soon as Peter's fluffy bunny slippers disappeared around the spiral
staircase James tiptoed over to Lily, watching her twist in her sleep.
"Lily," he whispered as he wrapped the blanket tighter around her.
"What's wrong?" James' brow
creased in worry. He bent down to scoop Lily into his arms, cradling her like a
small child.
James was surprised at how easily she fit in his arms, and just how light she
felt. He sat down on an old couch near by, laying down Lily's still body, her
head in his lap. Even when troubled her face was beautiful and radiant. James
stroked back the curls from her face, wiping her damp skin with his sleeve. It
wasn't until then that he noticed her tears mingling with the sweat on her
cheeks. She had been crying? In her sleep? It was worse than he had imagined.
"Oh, Lily.what is wrong!" James spoke quietly, more to himself than
Lily. He was struggling terribly with himself to wake her up.
"Noooo.." Lily's eyelids fluttered as she called out in her sleep.
"Please! Don't! Stop, Vernon! Please—"
It was the last straw for James. He couldn't bear seeing her cry, but to hear
her call out had been too much.
He gently began to shake her awake. "Lily, Lily wake up." James spoke
softly, imploring Lily to rise. He smiled in relief when her eyelids snapped
open. "Lily, are you okay? You were having a nightmare, a pretty bad one
by the sound of it. Do you want to talk about it?"
Lily's eyes widened to the size of silver dollars. Oh no. Feelings of dread
washed over her in great waves of panic. She felt like the bottom of her
stomach had dropped out. "Um—James—uh...I—It was no—nothing," she
stammered. "I—I have to go."
Lily had started to rise when James asked her the question she had been most
fearing.
"Wait! Lily! Who's Vernon!" James'
face was shaped with true concern, but Lily looked to the ground, avoiding his
eyes. Her breath was catching in her throat. She had to leave before he found
out any more. If he knew the whole story he wouldn't want to be her friend. James wasn't friends with dirty girls. She had to get out.
"James, it's nothing! I—I have to go to bed. Get…get an early start
tomorrow!" And in the blink of an eye Lily was gone.
James sat alone on the couch still staring bewildered at the spot on his lap
where Lily's head had been. What had caused her magnetizing eyes to widen in
fright like that? James was sure he'd never seen her more scared. What ever it
was it had certainly not been "nothing," as she had said.
James stood slowly, taking off his glasses, attempting to rub the sleep from
his tired, hazel eyes. He was going to make sure he figured out Lily Evans,
good or bad, but this incident only determined his reslove more than ever. He
turned and walked gradually up the steps to his four-poster bed. He had trouble
falling asleep, worried thoughts of Lily filled his mind until he finally
drifted off.
