The Series of Abnormal Events
Chapter One: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part eight.
A breakthrough! I finally realized that this will be too long to be
Kitkatz: CAKE IS GOOD BUT GETS STUCK IN UR HAIR.
Okay. That was weird. If you're wondering, Tara is sitting at the desk with me. We'll write this chapter together. I went away for a minute and look at what she does. God. This will be one hell of a chapter. To continue.
A breakthrough! I finally
Kitkatz: Get on with it! Okey dokey dokey panic!!!!!!!
I didn't understand that. Now, I'm gonna keep going.
A breakthrough!` I finally realized that this
Kitkatz: Wedding cake is especially good because Morton eats it.
Never mind. She won't let me finish. It wasn't important. You know, Tara really hurts my brain. I need a tylenol. I gots me a headache.
Kitkatz: Gots aint a werd ya weirdo bado spellar.
There were soo many mistakes in that sentence. Maybe I should get another tylenol. No. I won't leave the computer again. I'll write the fic. Since Tara is writing this with me, it might be weirder than normal. If, for some reason, that's what you like, read her fics. Under Kitkatz.
Disclamer: Yay! I'm at this fun part again! Okay. The characters are too tame for me. That's why I don't want to own them. If I did, they'd be in my closet. Cause that's what I do with all my stuff. Oh, I don't own any MSB characters either.
Disclamer 2: Hi ya! I'm gonna be disclamer too! I own the characters because they are actually in my drawer at home in the section with all the winter sweaters and stuff. And they never had a shower in 3 months, so they now stink. And so now they are being forced into one of Sammie's fics. There. And they're tame because they're half dead.
Disclamer: *Holds head in hands.* God Tara. The disclamer isn't a person. I'm not a disclamer. A disclamer is a thing. This is being called a disclamer because the above, written by you, isn't true. The characters aren't in your drawer. With the winter sweaters. In desparate need of a shower and half dead. They aren't mine or yours. They belong to Warner Bros., NBC, and Scholastic.
Sweater: Uh, excuse ME! I'M the sweater! And Carter is especially smelly.
Sammie: *Pounds head on table.* No. You are not a sweater! Or a disclamer 2! You are Tara. Sweaters can't type. Carter is hot, not smelly. Don't make up stuff about my Carter. Oops. I should say, WB and NBC's Carter. That's more accurate. Now, no more disclamer stuff!
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Hmm. Let's start with the phone call to Kitkatz. Kitkatz is Tara, so she'll write that.
A cellphone is ringing. With the souuuund of muuuuusic. With a ringtone that has plaaaayed for a thousand yeaaaaars! No. Actually, it's ringing to the theme of ER.
Kitkatz: (picks up phone) Help 911? Help 911? Wazzup?
Yosh: What are you doing? Who are you talking to? Is it a mission? Please tell me it's a mission. I want to be a super hero.
Malik: I'm superman!
Yosh: I'm wonder woman!
Randi; You're a guy! I'm wonder woman!
Kitkatz: GAY ARSE!!!
Sammie: That's mean! Shouting is rude. Whisper it in Haleh's ear. It'll get around to everyone fast enough.
Randi: Huh? Where are you?
Sammie: I have a video camera on top of my computer. Look in the corner. I set it up while you were watching yourselves on tv.
Kitkatz: SHEDDAP!!! I wanna talk ta da King! King of Koopas!! Bowser!
Cellphone: I'm not Bowser! I'M SUSAN!
Kitkatz: Susan B Koopa!?!?!?!? Hey! Bowser's niece!! How ya been?
Cellphone: NO! DR. SUSAN LEWIS!
Unknown: *Background.* Susan, why are you yelling?
Susan: BECAUSE THE IDIOT ON THE PHONE THINKS I'M A FREAKIN KOOPA! WHAT'S A FREAKING KOOPA?!
Kitkatz: Susan? I heard that. When did you get married, and when did you become a doctor?
Susan: I am not a KOOPA! I didn't marry somebody with the last name Lewis. I became a doctor in uhhh. I can't remember. It's been awhile.
Kitkatz: Hehe, Susan, you can't fool me. I'm not that stupid. So how is Larry? Have you seen him lately? Still can't get a date, huh?
Susan: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A KOOPA! I AM HUMAN!
Sammie: Give me the phone Tara. It'll go much faster if you do.
Tara gives the phone to Randi, who holds the camera up to the speaker and the microphone.
Sammie: Sorry about that Susan. I'm Sammie, Tara's less weird friend. You haven't met me. But we're coming over right now.
Susan: God. Kitkatz has changed. She's already met me, but she thinks I'm a koopa.
Sammie: Don't worry about that. She gets into these moods where all she thinks about is nintendo. You can ask Luka about the koopas.
Susan: How would he know?
Sammie: Because he has the games. All of them.
Susan: How do you know that?
Sammie: I'm psychic. Now why are you calling?
Susan: Well, we're having a party and we want all of you here!
Sammie: We're on our way. Bye!
Susan: Bye!
Randi takes the cellphone and turn it off.
Sammie: Tara? Can you magic me onto the blimp. I'm too lazy to do it my self.
Tara: You're gonna end up like Homer Simpson if you don't stop lazing around.... but okay.
Tara does the wand wave thing. Sammie appears. Like on Star Trek. (I don't watch the show, but I think that's funny.)
Sammie: Hehehehe. You are my SLAVE! I can make you do anything for me! Hehehehehehehe!
Kitkatz: I answer to no one!!! Except King Bowser, and all his kids, and their relatives, and their friends. Wait, they have no friends... never mind.
Sammie: They have friends. Really. Uh huh. *Tries to sound convincing.* I know for a fact that they have friends.
Kitkatz: Well, duh, like me. I'm they're friend, because I'm an enemy of Mario. And as Larry said, "Any enemy of the Mario Brothers, is a friend of ours." (From the show.)
Sammie: Well, I hate the Mario brothers. Their names are Luigi and Mario Mario for God's sake! That is so loserish! So, that makes me a friend, which makes you answer to me. You are my SLAVE! Hehehehehe.
Kitkatz: Wait, no! I didn't mean I'd listen to their friends. So I'll only help you because I'm nice. Sometimes.
Sammie: Fine. Don't be my slave. *Whines.* But I was looking forward to having a servant for life! It's not fair!
Kitkatz: *Whispers.* I have a solution. I have minions.
Sammie: You do!
Kitkatz: Shhh! *Whispers.* The nurses are my minions! You can control. Malik.
Sammie: I don't want the idiot!
Kitkatz: Take it or leave it!
Sammie: Fine.
Randi: What was that all about? Whispering is rude!
Sammie: We were only talking about. uh. how good you nurses are.
Randi: Oh, okay then. That's a nice thing to do.
Sammie: So, Tara, when do we get to County. This blimp isn't quite so cool anymore.
DA: According to my research, salmon live in the ocean!
Miss Frizzle: TAKE CHANCES! MAKE MISTAKES AND GET-
Kitkatz: LET'S TAKE THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sammie: What the hell?! Why and how did Miss Frizzle's class onto this blimp?
Yosh: Uh .um . Well, I haven't gotten used to the whole wand thing yet, and, uh, yeah.
Kitkatz: That's ok, Yoshi! Now I can get Arnold's autograph, and burn it for no apparent reason!
Yosh: It's Yosh. Yosh!
Kitkatz: Lets go in Arnold's stomach!
Everyone: OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!
So everyone hops onto the bus, and they shrink and then they go into Arnold's mouth. Arnold is chewing gum, though, so they were chewed on a few times, then they retreated.
Sammie: Ew. What was that for?
Yosh: Yeah. I didn't really get that one. And I think I saw some chunks of meat in his gum.
Randi: Arnold sure has big teeth. I hope one day I can operate on them!!!!
Kitkatz: Hi! I think you know that I've been writing the past few lines. Anywho, where were we going again?
Sammie: Tara! We're writing the fic right now! You can't talk in the middle of it! And we're going to County General Hospital in Chicago. To go to the party and piss off Weaver. Where have you been?
Kitkatz: In Arnold's mouth!
Sammie: Ugh. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Okay. I'm better. Why did I let Tara write part of this chapter? COUNTING DOESN"T RELIEVE ANGER!!!
Sammie goes over to the wall and yet again, begins to pound her head on the wall for obvious reasons.
Kitkatz: You know what? Honey Nut Cherios taste good when added to Alphabets. I ate that for breakfast this morning. Yum!
Yosh: RING RING RING!
Randi: Is that the phone?
Yosh: NO! I LOST MY RING!
Kitkatz: I saw Ralphie eat it.
Malik: Why do you have a ring, man? That's so uncool.
Yosh searches frantically for his ring, while Ralphie barfs it up.
Yosh: Eww. My ring is all barfy! I can't wear that!
Ralphie: Sorry, dude.
Tim: I'm fat. And depressed. I want to die.
Nobody hears the fat, depressed, suicidal Tim's cry for help.
The blimp finally lands on the hospital. Actually, not on the hospital, but on a bulldoser conveniently placed beside it.
Everyone (except Tim): AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JUMP!!!!!!!!
They did so, and as they landed on the ground, the blimp was shreaded into pieces of meat.
Haleh: Close one.
Wanda: I agree. But us students from Miss Frizzle's class don't have a bus! Where will we go?
Pheobe: Where's Tim?
DA: According to my research, Tim was mentally unstable and suicidal. He is deceased as he didn't jump from the blimp, as the rest of us did.
Carlos: Anyone up for some mystery meat?
Everyone: Carlos! *They laugh.*
Miss Frizzle: As I always say, Tim's an asshole and nobody gives a damn. So, mystery meat it is. Let's take chances, make mistakes and GET MESSY!
Everyone: Sure!
DA: But according to my research, we have a dilemma, as we have no way to get home.
Sammie: My God, haven't you figured out that we're magic yet?!
DA: But according to my research, mag-
Sammie: Do you think I care about your "research?!"
DA: Uh.
Sammie: No! Now, I'm hungry. Give me some mystery meat!
Malik: Sorry, none left.
Sammie: Meh. Oh well. I'll live. Now, everyone. Single file. Let's go to the party!
So Sammie, Kitkatz, Haleh, Yosh, Randi, Malik, Miss Frizzle, Carlos, Pheobe, Keesha, Dorothy-Ann, Ralphie, Arnold and Miss Frizzle's trusty iguana, Liz get into single file and begin to go down to the party!
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Yes. I added Magic School Bus. Cool, eh. I always knew Tim wanted to die. It was obvious, wasn't it. This chapter is long and demented. But I like it like that, (I like it like that!) *Sammie runs around the room singing, you can tell her hyperosity is shooting out of the roof.* How bout Moon River? Mooooon Riiiiiver, la la la la la. I'm crossing you in styyyyle somedaaaay!
Tara: And this is me, Kitkatz. She's actually doing that, you know. And you think I'm crazy? Uh, yeah. I came up with the magic school bus cross- thingy, so if ya du like it, yell at me. And read my fics because they are stupid aswell. Did you know that 50% of a pie is a quarter of the ratio of the sun crossing two km of the earth's atmosphere? YE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sammie: That is mathamatically impossible. You can't say that. And with saying that, you made me stop singing Rainbow Connection. That's rude. I wanna go swimming now! It's hot!
Tara: Okey Dokey Dokey PANIC!!! Ok. In the next chappie, is Sailor Moon coming?
Sammie: What the--?? Sailor Moon? What next? Teenaged Mutant Ninga Turtles?
Tara: That's a good idea.
Sammie: Crap. I wasn't serious. Hmph. If you want Tara to keep writing, tell me in a review. I like reviews. Or you can email us. Sammie: happythehippo48@hotmail.com and Tara: kitkatz_starangel@hotmail.com So email us.
Tara: Okey dokey dokey panic?!
Sammie: Ta-ta! Hope you read the next part!
Chapter One: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part eight.
A breakthrough! I finally realized that this will be too long to be
Kitkatz: CAKE IS GOOD BUT GETS STUCK IN UR HAIR.
Okay. That was weird. If you're wondering, Tara is sitting at the desk with me. We'll write this chapter together. I went away for a minute and look at what she does. God. This will be one hell of a chapter. To continue.
A breakthrough! I finally
Kitkatz: Get on with it! Okey dokey dokey panic!!!!!!!
I didn't understand that. Now, I'm gonna keep going.
A breakthrough!` I finally realized that this
Kitkatz: Wedding cake is especially good because Morton eats it.
Never mind. She won't let me finish. It wasn't important. You know, Tara really hurts my brain. I need a tylenol. I gots me a headache.
Kitkatz: Gots aint a werd ya weirdo bado spellar.
There were soo many mistakes in that sentence. Maybe I should get another tylenol. No. I won't leave the computer again. I'll write the fic. Since Tara is writing this with me, it might be weirder than normal. If, for some reason, that's what you like, read her fics. Under Kitkatz.
Disclamer: Yay! I'm at this fun part again! Okay. The characters are too tame for me. That's why I don't want to own them. If I did, they'd be in my closet. Cause that's what I do with all my stuff. Oh, I don't own any MSB characters either.
Disclamer 2: Hi ya! I'm gonna be disclamer too! I own the characters because they are actually in my drawer at home in the section with all the winter sweaters and stuff. And they never had a shower in 3 months, so they now stink. And so now they are being forced into one of Sammie's fics. There. And they're tame because they're half dead.
Disclamer: *Holds head in hands.* God Tara. The disclamer isn't a person. I'm not a disclamer. A disclamer is a thing. This is being called a disclamer because the above, written by you, isn't true. The characters aren't in your drawer. With the winter sweaters. In desparate need of a shower and half dead. They aren't mine or yours. They belong to Warner Bros., NBC, and Scholastic.
Sweater: Uh, excuse ME! I'M the sweater! And Carter is especially smelly.
Sammie: *Pounds head on table.* No. You are not a sweater! Or a disclamer 2! You are Tara. Sweaters can't type. Carter is hot, not smelly. Don't make up stuff about my Carter. Oops. I should say, WB and NBC's Carter. That's more accurate. Now, no more disclamer stuff!
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*
Hmm. Let's start with the phone call to Kitkatz. Kitkatz is Tara, so she'll write that.
A cellphone is ringing. With the souuuund of muuuuusic. With a ringtone that has plaaaayed for a thousand yeaaaaars! No. Actually, it's ringing to the theme of ER.
Kitkatz: (picks up phone) Help 911? Help 911? Wazzup?
Yosh: What are you doing? Who are you talking to? Is it a mission? Please tell me it's a mission. I want to be a super hero.
Malik: I'm superman!
Yosh: I'm wonder woman!
Randi; You're a guy! I'm wonder woman!
Kitkatz: GAY ARSE!!!
Sammie: That's mean! Shouting is rude. Whisper it in Haleh's ear. It'll get around to everyone fast enough.
Randi: Huh? Where are you?
Sammie: I have a video camera on top of my computer. Look in the corner. I set it up while you were watching yourselves on tv.
Kitkatz: SHEDDAP!!! I wanna talk ta da King! King of Koopas!! Bowser!
Cellphone: I'm not Bowser! I'M SUSAN!
Kitkatz: Susan B Koopa!?!?!?!? Hey! Bowser's niece!! How ya been?
Cellphone: NO! DR. SUSAN LEWIS!
Unknown: *Background.* Susan, why are you yelling?
Susan: BECAUSE THE IDIOT ON THE PHONE THINKS I'M A FREAKIN KOOPA! WHAT'S A FREAKING KOOPA?!
Kitkatz: Susan? I heard that. When did you get married, and when did you become a doctor?
Susan: I am not a KOOPA! I didn't marry somebody with the last name Lewis. I became a doctor in uhhh. I can't remember. It's been awhile.
Kitkatz: Hehe, Susan, you can't fool me. I'm not that stupid. So how is Larry? Have you seen him lately? Still can't get a date, huh?
Susan: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A KOOPA! I AM HUMAN!
Sammie: Give me the phone Tara. It'll go much faster if you do.
Tara gives the phone to Randi, who holds the camera up to the speaker and the microphone.
Sammie: Sorry about that Susan. I'm Sammie, Tara's less weird friend. You haven't met me. But we're coming over right now.
Susan: God. Kitkatz has changed. She's already met me, but she thinks I'm a koopa.
Sammie: Don't worry about that. She gets into these moods where all she thinks about is nintendo. You can ask Luka about the koopas.
Susan: How would he know?
Sammie: Because he has the games. All of them.
Susan: How do you know that?
Sammie: I'm psychic. Now why are you calling?
Susan: Well, we're having a party and we want all of you here!
Sammie: We're on our way. Bye!
Susan: Bye!
Randi takes the cellphone and turn it off.
Sammie: Tara? Can you magic me onto the blimp. I'm too lazy to do it my self.
Tara: You're gonna end up like Homer Simpson if you don't stop lazing around.... but okay.
Tara does the wand wave thing. Sammie appears. Like on Star Trek. (I don't watch the show, but I think that's funny.)
Sammie: Hehehehe. You are my SLAVE! I can make you do anything for me! Hehehehehehehe!
Kitkatz: I answer to no one!!! Except King Bowser, and all his kids, and their relatives, and their friends. Wait, they have no friends... never mind.
Sammie: They have friends. Really. Uh huh. *Tries to sound convincing.* I know for a fact that they have friends.
Kitkatz: Well, duh, like me. I'm they're friend, because I'm an enemy of Mario. And as Larry said, "Any enemy of the Mario Brothers, is a friend of ours." (From the show.)
Sammie: Well, I hate the Mario brothers. Their names are Luigi and Mario Mario for God's sake! That is so loserish! So, that makes me a friend, which makes you answer to me. You are my SLAVE! Hehehehehe.
Kitkatz: Wait, no! I didn't mean I'd listen to their friends. So I'll only help you because I'm nice. Sometimes.
Sammie: Fine. Don't be my slave. *Whines.* But I was looking forward to having a servant for life! It's not fair!
Kitkatz: *Whispers.* I have a solution. I have minions.
Sammie: You do!
Kitkatz: Shhh! *Whispers.* The nurses are my minions! You can control. Malik.
Sammie: I don't want the idiot!
Kitkatz: Take it or leave it!
Sammie: Fine.
Randi: What was that all about? Whispering is rude!
Sammie: We were only talking about. uh. how good you nurses are.
Randi: Oh, okay then. That's a nice thing to do.
Sammie: So, Tara, when do we get to County. This blimp isn't quite so cool anymore.
DA: According to my research, salmon live in the ocean!
Miss Frizzle: TAKE CHANCES! MAKE MISTAKES AND GET-
Kitkatz: LET'S TAKE THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sammie: What the hell?! Why and how did Miss Frizzle's class onto this blimp?
Yosh: Uh .um . Well, I haven't gotten used to the whole wand thing yet, and, uh, yeah.
Kitkatz: That's ok, Yoshi! Now I can get Arnold's autograph, and burn it for no apparent reason!
Yosh: It's Yosh. Yosh!
Kitkatz: Lets go in Arnold's stomach!
Everyone: OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!
So everyone hops onto the bus, and they shrink and then they go into Arnold's mouth. Arnold is chewing gum, though, so they were chewed on a few times, then they retreated.
Sammie: Ew. What was that for?
Yosh: Yeah. I didn't really get that one. And I think I saw some chunks of meat in his gum.
Randi: Arnold sure has big teeth. I hope one day I can operate on them!!!!
Kitkatz: Hi! I think you know that I've been writing the past few lines. Anywho, where were we going again?
Sammie: Tara! We're writing the fic right now! You can't talk in the middle of it! And we're going to County General Hospital in Chicago. To go to the party and piss off Weaver. Where have you been?
Kitkatz: In Arnold's mouth!
Sammie: Ugh. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Okay. I'm better. Why did I let Tara write part of this chapter? COUNTING DOESN"T RELIEVE ANGER!!!
Sammie goes over to the wall and yet again, begins to pound her head on the wall for obvious reasons.
Kitkatz: You know what? Honey Nut Cherios taste good when added to Alphabets. I ate that for breakfast this morning. Yum!
Yosh: RING RING RING!
Randi: Is that the phone?
Yosh: NO! I LOST MY RING!
Kitkatz: I saw Ralphie eat it.
Malik: Why do you have a ring, man? That's so uncool.
Yosh searches frantically for his ring, while Ralphie barfs it up.
Yosh: Eww. My ring is all barfy! I can't wear that!
Ralphie: Sorry, dude.
Tim: I'm fat. And depressed. I want to die.
Nobody hears the fat, depressed, suicidal Tim's cry for help.
The blimp finally lands on the hospital. Actually, not on the hospital, but on a bulldoser conveniently placed beside it.
Everyone (except Tim): AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JUMP!!!!!!!!
They did so, and as they landed on the ground, the blimp was shreaded into pieces of meat.
Haleh: Close one.
Wanda: I agree. But us students from Miss Frizzle's class don't have a bus! Where will we go?
Pheobe: Where's Tim?
DA: According to my research, Tim was mentally unstable and suicidal. He is deceased as he didn't jump from the blimp, as the rest of us did.
Carlos: Anyone up for some mystery meat?
Everyone: Carlos! *They laugh.*
Miss Frizzle: As I always say, Tim's an asshole and nobody gives a damn. So, mystery meat it is. Let's take chances, make mistakes and GET MESSY!
Everyone: Sure!
DA: But according to my research, we have a dilemma, as we have no way to get home.
Sammie: My God, haven't you figured out that we're magic yet?!
DA: But according to my research, mag-
Sammie: Do you think I care about your "research?!"
DA: Uh.
Sammie: No! Now, I'm hungry. Give me some mystery meat!
Malik: Sorry, none left.
Sammie: Meh. Oh well. I'll live. Now, everyone. Single file. Let's go to the party!
So Sammie, Kitkatz, Haleh, Yosh, Randi, Malik, Miss Frizzle, Carlos, Pheobe, Keesha, Dorothy-Ann, Ralphie, Arnold and Miss Frizzle's trusty iguana, Liz get into single file and begin to go down to the party!
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*
Yes. I added Magic School Bus. Cool, eh. I always knew Tim wanted to die. It was obvious, wasn't it. This chapter is long and demented. But I like it like that, (I like it like that!) *Sammie runs around the room singing, you can tell her hyperosity is shooting out of the roof.* How bout Moon River? Mooooon Riiiiiver, la la la la la. I'm crossing you in styyyyle somedaaaay!
Tara: And this is me, Kitkatz. She's actually doing that, you know. And you think I'm crazy? Uh, yeah. I came up with the magic school bus cross- thingy, so if ya du like it, yell at me. And read my fics because they are stupid aswell. Did you know that 50% of a pie is a quarter of the ratio of the sun crossing two km of the earth's atmosphere? YE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sammie: That is mathamatically impossible. You can't say that. And with saying that, you made me stop singing Rainbow Connection. That's rude. I wanna go swimming now! It's hot!
Tara: Okey Dokey Dokey PANIC!!! Ok. In the next chappie, is Sailor Moon coming?
Sammie: What the--?? Sailor Moon? What next? Teenaged Mutant Ninga Turtles?
Tara: That's a good idea.
Sammie: Crap. I wasn't serious. Hmph. If you want Tara to keep writing, tell me in a review. I like reviews. Or you can email us. Sammie: happythehippo48@hotmail.com and Tara: kitkatz_starangel@hotmail.com So email us.
Tara: Okey dokey dokey panic?!
Sammie: Ta-ta! Hope you read the next part!
