Chapter 3
Relena had to admit that she was afraid.
She knew he was looking for her. She could sense it. He was really mad. All her hair were raised.
I don't want to confront him again… I can't even escape since I know he will find me. I just want him to go away!
But a part of her wanted to be with him forever. She just had to forget about that part of her since it did not help her at all.
For once, there was no bodyguard to follow her. Duo started the job the next morning and she had dismissed the other bodyguard who had not yet learned about the transfer and thought that Heero would be with her. She laughed at the thought.
Pegan drove her to her mansion but when he opened the door to help her out of the car, he looked at her with concern in his eyes.
I must look horrible.
She walked quickly to the door of the mansion. She didn't want him to ask her questions. She was not ready she repeated in her head.
Pegan whished to know what was wrong with her but decided to not ask. It was her life after all. And Miss Relena was old enough to help herself out. If she wanted to talk about it, she would have come to him. Even aftertelling himself that, he felt sad for his little dove of peace. He watched her go and hoped that she would feel better soon.
Relena walked mechanically in the direction of her room but stopped before opening the door. For some reason she felt as if she shouldn't go there. She decided to go downstairs instead. She didn't know where to go. Her stomach was doing funny things. She felt awfully anxious but didn't know why. She saw the door that led out to the garden.
Fresh air should help me feel better. Maybe if I go far enough...
She went outside and start walking. After a while she needed to sit so she went near the fountain and the lovely bench that was made of ebony. She sat there and looked at the water falling while listening to the gentle sound that it was making.
She lost herself in reflections, some of them happy and others filled with pain. She couldn't think about anything else other than him. Every time she tried to think about something else, his face would always find a way into her head as if there it was always supposed to stay.
After a while of calming sound, she felt her back go straight. A shiver passed down it and made her shudder. The anxiety had come again. She whispered something without thinking.
" Heero"
She was surprised to hear an answer and her heart jumped when her name was pronounced. She did not know if it was intense fear she was feeling right now, but she knew for sure by the sound of his voice that he was particularly angry…
She thought about running away but she knew better than wake his instincts. She could now feel the irritation in him since he was at a foot's length from her. She didn't dare to look up. She didn't want him to touch her. It would torment her forever if he touched her.
He sat next to her. She turned her head at another direction feeling that she was lacking of breath.
He touched her arm. His fingers were burning her skin. She felt like screaming. She didn't want to turn and face him. He looked at her closely and spoke softly.
"Why?"
Relena's heart was madly pounding in her chest and a flow of emotions was pouring into her.
Hearing no answer he added: "You know I don't like you walking alone at night without a bodyguard."
"I needed to be alone. Is that so much to ask?" she uttered trying to control the sound of her voice. He was too close. She felt suffocated.
"You could have been alone safe in your room... What has gotten into you? Why did you say that I am an incompetent when we all know I am the more skilled to protect you Relena?"
"Duo is skilled too!" Relena said with a meaningful look, turning her eyes away as soon as she met his.
"It's not that. It is because of our fight, isn't it? You are avoiding me."
"I don't need you. I don't see what the problem is. You said it yourself, I am acting like a child and I am now showing you that I am old enough to live without you. I don't know why you are objecting. I thought you would be happy to be free of me!" She made sure that the comment was made with venom in it.
Heero experienced something painful. As if Relena had taken his heart and slammed it against a wall. He was already mad that she had made him Une's bodyguard but he was even more furious that she seemed to do everything that she could to infuriate him.
"Stop it." He said between clenched teeth while grabbing her arm.
This time she turned to face him, freeing her arm violently. Her eyes were blazing with anger and an emotion that Heero couldn't quite understand. Pain?
"Stop what Heero Yuy? You want me to forget? Well no, I can't!"
Heero shut his eyes as a flow of memory came to his mind with her words.
This is why she is sending me away. She have a grudge against me since that night.
That night... He didn't want to think about that night. Two weeks ago but still seemed as if it was today. Now wasn't the time to recall that night.
He bite his lower lip.
He opened his eyes and saw that Relena was looking at the ground. She was fighting the tears that tried to come out as another war was going on in her body.
He passed his thumb on her cheek to remove the wetness there. The movement was gentle but it made her stiffen. He couldn't stand to see her cry. Seeing her strength crashing down because of him was making him depressed.
She got up turning her back to him. He walked to her and made her turn to face him. A moment passed before Relena looked up at him. Their gaze met and automatically parted as if the eyes of each other had burned them. He didn't know why at that moment he decided to take her in his arm.
She rested in his embrace while the world was spinning around. She didn't want to think, just feel. And she felt good in his arms. She laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes, as the universe was exploding in little shiny particles and there was only him and her. Him and her in eternity.
As he held her in his embrace, a crazy idea kept coming in his mind. He didn't want to think about how good it would feel to take her mouth right now. How good it would feel to taste her again… He just wanted to be stoical.
"Heero… I'm… just leave me alone. We've been arguing about that night sufficiently. Now I offer you the chance to go away like you always dreamed."
"You need me." He expressed softly as if his sanity was holding on that statement.
"I do… but you don't."
Heero didn't answer to that. When Relena tried to search his eyes for something all she got was a blank look.
Relena felt indignation building in her and shoved him away.
"Damn you Heero!" she shouted.
This time she couldn't help but running as her heart was screaming at her to go away from him.
Heero went after her.
In just a moment, he had managed to take a grip of her arm, pushed her near him, her body slamming against his hard body in the process.
Then the urge was too strong.
Relena saw his eyes changed from seething to the eyes of pure lust. Her heart raced. She tried to push him away but he was too strong. He took her mouth in his. No, he didn't took, he seized. She was limp in his hand as he was lifting her legs around his waist, crushing her even more against him.
She realized after a while that she was pressed against a wall of the mansion while Heero was still kissing her neck like there was no tomorrow. She could feel him everywhere, overwhelming her. He claimed her mouth again, lifting the fabric on her back. She nearly lost herself again.
"We… must… stop…" She managed to say between kisses. She didn't want what will apparently come if they continue further. Heero was still lost in his frenzy. "Heero… please…" Heero finally registering her words, started to pull away while realizing what had just happened.
He did it again.
He just couldn't stop those urges and remorse started to take hold. The guilt showed in his eyes for a brief moment before Relena saw it and looked away.
"Good bye Heero." She communicate with disappointment fulfilling her voice. She went quietly in the direction of her room.
He stayed there and watched her go. He had completely blown it. Again.
He felt his body sink to his knees as if all his energy had been drain from him in one second. He then realized that something wet was flowing down his cheek.
That night Heero saw that he had lost Relena.
