Chapter 4, Back for More
Jeff: You are aware your readers probably hate
you for making them wait so long.
NovaGirl: Don't be ridiculous. I have a life. I have exams. I have stress.
Therefore, the day right before my English final is the PERFECT day to slack off
and write zanily comedic hijinks.
Scott: Zanily comedic hijinks, eh? *looks oddly disheveled*
NovaGirl *disdainful look* Honestly Scott, could you at
least freshen up before leaving Sam's stories.
Scott *sigh*: Next time, I promise.
NovaGirl: Good. Because it's about time the story actually started.
Alan *grumbling*: Whatever you say...
NovaGirl: But first, a shout-out to all my loyal fans! Not least of all Lady P,
Angelina, Tikatu, Ziggy, and Samantha Winchester. I love you all! ^___^
Shaddup, will ya! This isn't the fricken' Oscars! Just WRITE!
NovaGirl: Gulp.
Having headed back to the island, everybody was
on the island, discussing what they were going to do.
Jeff: So we all agree that the young woman we saw in the department store was
pure evil.
And so everyone said 'Aye'. Or 'Yes'. Or 'Yeah'. Or 'No f*@# ing s^*$t,
Sherlock'.
NovaGirl *beaming proudly*: That last one was mine.
All others *give her a dry look*: No, really?
NovaGirl: Yes. It is quite surprising.
However, there was ONE who did NOT say any type of affirmative! Yes! It's such a
big deal that I have to use RANDOM CAPITAL WORDS!
All: Gasparoo! Who could it be?
VIRGIL!
Virgil: Your point being?
Evidently, you've never betrayed a teenage drama queen with a penchant for
Gilbert and Sullivan.
NovaGirl: FOR I AM A DRAMA QUUEEEEN! And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a
drama queen!
See what I mean? It was then that NovaGirl decided to make an accusation. She
just felt like it.
NovaGirl: Oh, false one! You have deceived me!
Virgil *confused*: I have deceived you?
NovaGirl: Yes, deceived me!
Jeff *rolling his eyes*: Alright, you two. Let's get back to business.
Gordon *standing up*: And I gotta take care of mine. Just heading to the
washroom.
Ah, the loveliness of Gordon....Squee...
NovaGirl: You know how disturbing that is, right?
Of course. But that's not going to stop me. Or you, Ms. Closet NC-*grumbles
through duct-tape something that sounds like HEY!*
NovaGirl: Sorry buster, but nobody spills that stuff about me. I'll take it off
now. *does so*
17.
NovaGirl: WHY YOU LITTLE!
AIIIIEEEEE!
Meanwhile, an army of silence was silently
silenting across the silence of the silent beach, silently silenting everything
they silently came silenting across.
In fact, they were so silent they decided to indulge themselves in a musical
number.
AoS: WITH CAT LIKE TREAD! UPON OUR PREY WE STEAL! IN SILENCE DREAD! OUR CAUTIOUS
WAY WE FEEL! NO SOUND AT--
You guys?
AoS: ALL! WE NEVER SPEAK A WORD! A FLY-FOOTS FALL WOULD BE DISTINCTLY HEARD!
YOU GUYS!!!!
AoS: What is it?
Doesn't it sound just the teeniest bit odd that you're declaring your silent in
a musical number?
AoS Member *steps forward*: Look at the fanfic. Does it LOOK LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED
TO MAKE SENSE?!
Is that a rhetorical question?
AoS: JUST LET US SING!
Okay, okay! So, the army of silence silently silented along the shore until a
familiar patriarch came out. Because you just can't call him a dad. Or a pa. Or
a father. Though he is all of the above.
All Others: WE GET THE PICTURE!
Jeff: My name's Jefferson Lawrence Tracy. My name tag says so. See?
And due to the nametag, they were forced to conceed that yes, he was named
Jefferson Lawrence Tracy.
Jeff: And now that I've introduced myself, I should like to have some idea
what's going on.
NovaGirl: And where the heck's everyone else? Like me!
Nova, SHH! Can't you see when drama's occuring?
NovaGirl: DRAMA?! This isn't a dramatic work of fiction, this is zaniness!
That's beside the point.
NovaGirl: YOU'RE beside the point!
Yes, I know. I wouldn't want to sit on it.
Jeff: Hey, quit it! This is my scene, and God knows you steal it often?
How do we steal it orphan?
Jeff: Not orphan, often!
AoS: HEY! THIS IS OUR DEBUT, JERKS!
Eep. I say we listen to them now. Needless to say, they're in agreement.
AoS: We are all single ladies, Jeff.
Jeff: I didn't say you could call me--
AoS: And we mean to marry your sons.
Jeff *going on obliviously*: Jeff?! How dare you call me Jeff! Mr. Tracy if you're lucky...*hears what they
said* WHAT?!?!
AoS: Well, what did you think we were here for, pie? *thoughtful pause* Though
we've heard it's good.
Mrs. Tracy: Oh, all you lovely young women with whom I must matchmake my
grandsons even though they'll be having twenty-somes by the end of the evening!
Hi! And the pie *is* good.
Jeff, Me, and NovaGirl: YOU'RE NOT HELPING.
AoS: Oh, thank you! We're all orphans. So we'll all immediately be latching on
to you as a mother figure. We hope you don't mind.
Mrs. Tracy: Meh, not that much.
NovaGirl: Jeff! We gotta save 'em! Don't you know who these are?
Jeff: Err....
NovaGirl: FOOLISH MORTAL! THESE ARE MARYSUES!
Jeff: Gulp.
OUR THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!
NovaGirl: On behalf of the host, may I ask how the heck you all got here?
There was much puzzling before their leader (let's call her L.E--Lead Evil ^_~)
stepped forth.
L.E: We were shipwrecked. Duh.
Jeff! Nobody you want hanging around your boys says 'Duh'!!!!
NovaGirl: She makes a good point.
Who, me or that waste of letters?
NovaGirl: You do!
Right. Well Jeff? Are you going to get rid of those infernal creatures?
It was then that SHE stepped out.
NovaGirl: Please, not her again.
No, it wasn't her. It was someone else. Someone older, wiser...but to Jeff, more
radiant than the brightest summer blossom
NovaGirl: Oh God No.
Kyrano: Well, she is kinda cute.
NovaGirl *shakes head*: Honestly...One'd think that you and Jeff and Scott and
Virgil...
HEY! THIS IS A MARY SUE PARODY, NOT A SLASH ONE! KEEP ON TOPIC!
All Others: Eep!
L.E.: And I thought I was bad...
Watch it missy.
But anyways, back on the radiant floral beauty. Her glorious raven mane,
streaked with grey, the thoughtful brown eyes poring into Jefferson's soul,
reminding him so of his beloved Lucille..
Jeff: I think I'm going to be sick.
All others: Wait for us.
The situation was dire. An army of stranded women, lead by the dastardly L.E. So
naturally, nobody was scared. Except me, NovaGirl, Jeff, Kyrano, Scott, Virgil,
John, Gordon, Alan, Tin-Tin, Brains, and Grandma Tracy.
