"He tried to get back at you?" said Seamus incredulously. Professors doing tricks to students was unheard of.
"Yup, but good ole McGonagal stepped in the way just in time. The poor old woman never saw it coming." Harry said. He noticed that even Hermione was grinning. She seemed really awkward being in this large group with Harry. He supposed she never had many friends, then again, neither did he. He watched as he face turned curiously to horror.
"So I'm a poor old woman, am I, Mutton?" came a deep voice filled with venom. Harry honestly was surprised to see her in the common room. He, judging from what he saw people doing in the room, didn't suppose she visited it often.
"No ma'm. I was just saying how you were an alluring and decidingly cold, at times, woman." Harry said quickly.
"Yes, I must have misheard you. In my old age my hearing is not as good as it used to be. Which reminds me P- Mutton, if you have a moment of free time, I would like a private word." Harry saw that even the twin were very upset by this.
"Yes, well, I believe tomorrow afternoon at around three I am available for a minute or too." Harry said cheekily. He got a round of suppressed laughter from his friends.
"Now, Mutton. Outside." She said. Harry took a breath in anticipation, and followed her out of the entrance. She shut the portrait of the fat lady behind Harry, and he looked up at her. She checked the hall to make sure it was void of students. The Fat Lady was smiling warmly at them, but watched in curiosity.
"Now you listen here, Boy. I know what your thinking. That dratted godfather of yours has filled you tiny brain with wonderful ideas about adventures and jokes and other such nonsense at the expense of others. I taught your father and your godfather, and I know what he would have told you. I know that you think you can come here and have fun beyond your own expectations, but listen here Boy. LOOK AT ME! You listen here. I won't have any of this nonsense. If I so much suspect you of anything, I will take your punishment to the extreme, and you will be sorry young man. I will make you sorry." McGonagal said.
"Professor…" the fat lady began.
"Not now." She rebuked.
"But…"
"Not now. Harry, You're father could have been so much greater than he was, but he wasted his time and brainpower on this useless garbage. I will not allow the same mistake to happen again. As of now I will be watching you Potter, like a hawk my eyes will track your every move. I know many things, and other things I can learn from others. You are always being watched here, boy. If you let one hair out of line, I will place so many restrictions on you that you won't be able to breath. Do you know what it's like to be in prison,, boy?" She said.
"Yes, actually. One night I was constructing a trap to catch my Godfather on the way in from a late meeting, but it accidentally trapped me, and he had decided to spend the night at Sarah's house, so he never came home to let me out. He got home the next morning and wouldn't let me out as punishment. It was kinda like going to school, but I didn't go anywhere or do anything, so I just slept until he let me out." Harry said innocently. She closed her eyes to recollect her thoughts.
"The headmaster may find your antics amusing, but I don't and as you are in my house, and being my responsibility, I will not sleep until you are locked in the tallest tower, wandless and trapped. You will not create havoc on my watch, young man. I repeat, I will be watching you. On another note, Gryffindor quidditch team is short a seeker. You showed some ability with a broom, so I asked the headmaster and he has agreed to allow you to try out for the team. However, you must tell no one of this. I mean it. If it comes back to me, you are off the team. Forever." She suppressed a smile as the boy cringed. "Now, you will meet with Oliver Wood on the quidditch pitch tomorrow at dusk. He will run you through the basics, and assess any skills which you may have. Katie Bell makes a decent Seeker, but she is best at chaser. If you show skill as a chaser, you may end up there instead. I will warn you once more. I am bending the rules for you on this, but this is it. You make any trouble and you will be off the team faster than an African Sparrow. Don't mess with m-" she stopped suddenly and looked sown the hall. As she stopped Harry heard the soft patter of feet. A first year girl, Lavender, had arrived at the top of the stairs and looked at them both awkwardly. Harry saw the professor give her a meaningful look and she continued by them and said the password to the Fat Lady. The portrait opened an seven students fell out. Three with flaming red hair.
As they stood up Harry checked off their names. Fred and George, Ron, Seamus, Dean, a boy name Lee Jordan, and that Oliver Wood character. They all looked up at the professor with large grins. "Welcome."
"To the team, Harry" said George and Fred, respectively. They both offered their hands which the professor smacked away.
"You boys are not to be listening in to conversations that do not concern you" she said sharply.
"But professor," said Fred.
"This does concern us," George said.
"We are on the," Fred said.
"Quidditch team," said George.
"Aren't we?" said Fred. Harry could tell she was beginning to loose it.
"And what are you scaring the wee firs' years for?" George said suddenly.
"The little bugger hasn't done anything yet, and already you're tryin' to scare the fun out of him." Fred supported.
"Think about his mental health if you take away a key part of his personality." George continued.
"The emotional scarring it could cause at such a tender age." Fred said while pinching Harry's cheek.
"You could very well be ruining this young lad's life, you should be grateful" George said.
"That we had the courage and audacity to stop you before the damage was done" Finished Fred.
"All I'm going to say, is that you all will keep your mouths closed on this. If you don't there will be severe penalties, for all of you. Mutton, you know where to be" McGonagal said.
"And if you don't" said Fred.
"It's with Oliver here" said George.
"Tomorrow" said Lee.
"At dusk" finished Oliver. The Deputy Headmistress rolled her eyes, but gave them all a sharp look before leaving. As she turned the corner Harry saw everyone relax a bit.
"What in bloody hell did you do to bunch her panties so much?" said Fred. Ron, Dean and Seamus were back in the common room whispering to the congregation of first years that Harry had left to speak with the deputy headmistress.
"I got Dumbledore- I got the Headmaster to cover her in mashed potatoes." Harry said, trying to withhold his laughter.
"That's bloody brilliant, it is." Piped in Lee. Harry couldn't stop giggling.
"Amazing, dear brother, I think we've come a cross a model of ourselves, just newer and upgraded in every way, especially in the size of the genitalia." Said George.
"I know, and when we thought they didn't make them any bigger, here one comes to usurp you and make our courageous acts feel small and insignificant." Added Fred.
"The tragedy!" called out George, being far too dramatic.
"The pain!" returned Fred.
"But Oh, my friends, do not forget the comedy, for it is comedy which rules our lives" said Lee, with such finesse and emotion, that even Fred and George stopped.
"Whoa there, Sparky, don't get too excited over there," Harry said, "The comedy always takes a back seat to the sense of accomplishment" Harry interjected. The boys looked at him and smiled.
"Fred and I have an appointment we don't want to miss, but we'll speak with you later" George said.
"Yes, we do have some business to take care of together. We'll check in on you later." Fred chimed, before they both sprinted down the hall and out of sight. Harry offered a smile to Oliver and Lee, and returned to his seat, which, amazingly enough was still open. The first years became quiet when he arrived. He nodded and it was all they needed. He heard a bunch of congratulations through the numerous slaps on the back. He noticed that Hermione was missing and asked where she was. He was told by the Parvati girl that she went up to the dormitories to study in peace. Harry would have non of that. As he got up and reached the bottom of the stairs to the girls dormitories, there was a collective yelling, screaming gasp coming from the general population, most of it was from the girls.
"Hey, little guy, you're not allowed up there" yelled a seventh year.
"You tell him, Carrie" said another girl from across the room.
"Holy jebus. If step in you precious tabernacle will the world fall apart? I think not. I'm only going to get my friend, so if you feel the need to send an escort, have someone follow me, I don't mind, but I'm going up there so bugger off" Harry said with slight annoyance before disappearing up the stairs. He didn't notice the silence that fell behind him, nor the wave of laughter that made nearly all the boys laugh with tears.
It wasn't hard to find the first year dormitories. He didn't think he needed to knock. He probably should have, but that would ruin the spontaneity. He opened the door as quickly as he could. Hermione looked up with tired eyes, which opened in surprise as she recognized the person.
"You're-" she began.
"Not supposed to be here, I know. But I couldn't live without seeing you for another second. Darling, Sugar, Honeycakes, Sweety, Sweet Pea, Pumpkin, hell, I'll even throw in High Fructose Corn Syrup, I need you so bad!" Harry said in a high voice while he fell onto his knees. He was glad to see she was laughing. He jumped up and ran to her desk. He place his elbows on it and bent his knees to rest his head on his hands. "So what are we studying?"
"Potions" she muttered.
"Ahh, one of the hardest types of magic. The great equalizer, grade wise." Harry said.
"How so?" she asked. He noticed she put down her quill, maybe she was finishing up for the night.
"It brings the crappy Slytherin grades up, and the decent grades of every other house down. Wait, we haven't had a potions lesson yet, what are you studying for?" Harry asked. She began rubbing her eyes.
"Well, I hear Professor Snape is really mean, so I want to be prepared, I want to know the material" she said. Harry slapped her lightly on the back of the head.
"FOOL! That's what lunch is for. When do you over-achievers ever learn. It's not bad to know more than everyone else, it's bad to do more than everyone else. And you wonder why people are scared of your ultimate registry of knowledge. You are a dangerous person to be around, you know." Harry said.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because, you make normal conformist people look stupid, and they don't like to look stupid. They don't understand that appearing stupid can be god's greatest advantage when dealing with people who think they are smarter than everyone else. Draco Malfoy, for example" Harry said. She lay her head down on her arms. Harry lifted it back up earning him a questioning look from her. "If you're going to sleep, go to bed, you'll be in pain tomorrow if you sleep in this position. Happens to my godfather all the time." Harry said with another smile. She pushed her chair out and struggled to her feet.
"How can you be so happy and energetic this late?" she mumbled.
"Oh, I almost forgot, I was asked to try out for the quidditch team. I'll be the first first-year player in like, a hundred years. It'll be amazing. Oh, you'll love quidditch. I'll get you a book on it." He joked. She seemed less than amused and flopped onto her bed. Out of habit for doing it for Sirius, he untied and took off her sneakers. She mumbled a 'thanks' and he handed her her pillow after it fell of the bed. "Aren't you going to change first?" Harry asked as she snuggled into the sheets.
"Oh yeah" She grumbled, as if she didn't want to be reminded. She sat up and started taking off her shirt. Harry turned around.
"Jesus Christ! You could at least ask me to leave. That is common practice in the magical world too" Harry said.
"Oh yeah. Leave then. I have to change" she said mocking his voice very poorly.
"You know what, if your going to act that way, then I think I'll stay. Plus, you haven't finished all of chapter one in the potions textbook yet" He turned around and notice she stopped moving and her eyes were wide open. She didn't like what he was doing. He was being confrontational and direct. Hermione always avoided those people out of fear, and now she had one sitting in a desk chair at the foot of her bed.
"Don't make me hex you." She said with a very bad attempt at a sneer.
"You don't know any good hexes, if you know any at all" Harry returned to her great dismay. "Shall we continue where you left off? Good. Now…Here we go. Boiling and Simmering are key to the potions process. Boiling effectively eliminates many unwanted magics quickly from a mixture, ensuring it's purity. Simmering is useful for the extraction of elements from magical ingredients, such as the hair of a unicorn. Therefore, Boiling and Simmering are often used together, and in some cases many times to ensure the best and most consistent result in your concoctions. One more item your potions depend on are the preciseness of measure regarding your ingredients. Some potions call for exact numbers, such as 200ml of water, where others will call for more vague numbers, such as four Raspberry blossoms. These blossoms may vary in size, but overall the effect on the potion is small. But measured ingredients, such as the three, one centimetre diameter spider eyes required for the Sight Correction Potion, greatly and mortally effect the life of your potion. These measurements are so important, it is recommended that you get a second opinion without alerting the party as to the desired amount to reduce bias. Measuring is the number one reason for mistakes in potion in the world. In the last fifty years, thirteen have died, and ninety four have been severely injured or harmed as a result of messy measuring. It is key to make sure your slicing and cutting and measuring and mixing techniques are up to standard." Harry looked up at her. She was on her back now and her eyes were closed. Her breathing suggested she was sleeping until she opened her eyes. She gave him a soft smile before closing her eyes again. He closed the book and placed it on her desk. She pulled the sheets closer to her body, and Harry blew out the three candles near her bed, leaving one in the corner on as a courtesy to her room mates.
"G'night, Hermione" he said softly. She didn't acknowledge it, and he assumed she was sleeping. He crept softly from her bed and made it to the common room in almost perfect silence.
As he entered the common room he noticed that the quiet mumblings of everyone was deafening compared to the soft speech he and Hermione had shared. He rolled his eyes as he got a few cat-calls as he walked away from the stairs. He made his way over to Dean, Seamus and Ron, and stood in the middle of their huddle.
"Can I help you with something, sheep-meat?" Ron said. Harry effectively turned away from him and faced only Dean and Seamus.
"Anyone want to give the Slytherins, an, um, achem, rude awakening, shall we say?" Harry said in a quiet voice so no eavesdroppers could hear.
"Now? It's almost ten o'clock" stated Dean, checking the clock on the mantle.
"Well, if you want to get them in the morning, you have to prepare at night. You don't know what I had to sacrifice to prepare myself for this operation, nor the spells I had to learn, on my own, to hide it from my parent, nor the spells I had to learn to get the supplies undetected into this bloody place, so if anyone wants to help in using muggle methods of mischief, not only will it be fun, noble, and hilarious, it will be very educational. Who's in?" Harry said. His voice was quiet but firm, and all three seemed moved, only Ron moved to anger.
"Leave here, Mutton, our ideas are so much better than anything you could ever think of" Ron said harshly.
"What ideas?" asked Dean. When Ron couldn't respond, he told Harry "I'm in."
"Me too" said Seamus. "What do we do?"
"Good, you two come with me, I have to teach you a spell first, and judging from your skills, it should only take about an hour, then we can have our fun. Do you have your wands?" Harry asked. They both went through their pockets as Ron blew air loudly out of his mouth before standing up and leaving the group. Harry took his seat and waited until they had their wands out. "Good, now I need you to think about the absolute coldest thing you can…"
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"…Here now, try this glass of water." Harry placed the glass of water on the table between them and watched as Dean muttered "Frigidus" and the water turned to ice. "Good, calorus" Harry said and the ice melted. "Your turn Seamus" Harry said. Dean noticed the boy's increasing excitement. Seamus also successfully turned the water into ice. They both were very proud to learn the freezing spell, but Harry wouldn't let them dwell on it.
"Excellent, the both of you. It wasn't too hard was it?" Harry asked, they both shook their heads, "And to think that we will spend two weeks learning that one in a few months. Now, who's ready to terrorize the Slytherins?"
"Wicked" Dean muttered with a very nice looking smirk. Seamus shook his head in agreement.
"To Slytherin Common Room we go." Harry said. They all got up and with curious glances from the other students, they exited through the portrait of the fat lady, and Seamus and Dean followed Harry in a short silence. About halfway to Harry's destination, Dean became confused.
"How are we going to get in their room? Do you have the password?"
"No, I have a secret passage. I can't let you guys see how to open it, unfortunately, so you will have to trust me while I blindfold you and do it. I won't do anything to you, I can promise you that. I have some targets that need hitting, and I would do it alone if I was capable enough magically, but I need to accomplices. If we are caught though, just say I offered you a ridiculous amount of candy if you helped me, and blame it on me, I'll take the rap, but I firmly believe that we won't get caught." Harry stopped walking, halfway up a staircase, and turned around to see both Dean and Seamus looking back worriedly. "Don't worry, boys, I know the way back, and I won't abandon you. We noble Gryffindors have to stick together" Harry said to emotionally that they had to stifle laughs. "I'll be back in a second, put these on while I'm gone."
Harry removed two hankerchiefs from his pocket and handed one each to Dean and Seamus. They began to put them on as Harry ran quickly up the stairs.
"What do you reckon he's doing?" asked Seamus.
"I don't know, but I think we can trust him, he hasn't been mean or anything to us" responded Dean. Just then there was the tapping of quick feet and heavy breathing.
"Harry?" asked Seamus.
"Yeah, be quiet a second" Harry responded. It sounded like he was counting under his breath. Dean felt two hands grip his shoulders, and move him up a few steps. Seamus then felt himself pushed back one steps. They heard a soft grinding, similar to that of stone on stone.
"What is that?" asked Dean.
"Hold on, wait a minute" Harry said. They did what they were told. Dean felt Harry's hands guide him to the left. He was sure he was going to hit the wall, but he never did. Then he felt a body being pushed against his, and a sharp shaking of the floor. "Ok, guys, you can take them off." Harry said. They both looked around and knew immediately what the shaking and grinding was.
"Whoa, my first secret passage" Seamus whispered.
"And arguably the most valuably. It is the only way into all four common rooms without the knowledge of the password" Harry explained as he pocketed the hankerchiefs. He led them down the hallway. They passed a circular room, and followed Harry down one of the branching hallways. Their path became immediately steep, but there were no steps so they were able to run quickly. Harry had lit his wand and he stopped before he hit the wall. Seamus was just behind him, and Dean took five seconds to catch up. All three were panting heavily.
"Ok- The Slytherin- house always- had- a- curfew at ten- Slytherin liked- sleep and he- felt that- his pupils should- get a lot.- Our chances- of having someone- in the common room- are slim- but still- present. So if anyone wants to wait- tell me now." Harry said through his breathing. No one responded, so they just waited and breathed, when their breathing levels returned to normal, Harry pushed against the wall, and it soundlessly swung open over the mantle. Dean watched as Harry glanced around and hopped out.
Harry looked around. The Slytherin Common room was not bad. Other than having low cielings and being very dim, it resemble the Gryffindor common room. There were thick carpets, soft chairs, tables, a deep firepit, and even a nice candle lit chandelier. Oh, and everything was green. Harry waited for Seamus to climb out before he closed the portrait of a sleeping Salazar Slytherin. Even in sleep the man looked arrogant. Harry took four blocks the size of dice out of his pocket and lay them on the floor. He whispered a spell, and the boxes became quiet large, about half the size of a normal trunk. Harry opened one of the boxes and handed one each of the contents to Seamus and Dean. Seamus looked confused.
"This, is our prank" Harry said proudly.
"Shaving cream?" said Dean. What was wrong with this kid. He had four large boxes full of shaving cream.
"Listen to me first. What you do is you freeze the cans of the shaving cream, right? Then you cut away the metal, while it is frozen inside. Then, we place about twelve frozen blocks of shaving cream into each room. As they melt they expand a lot, and when they wake up, they are this high (Harry brought his hand over his head) in shaving cream." Harry said.
"Wait one moment" said Seamus. "I have no idea what this stuff is or does, but I'll believe what you're saying. But how much do we have? Four times four. Sixteen cans per layer. Two layers per box. That makes thirty two cans per box, then four boxes. That's…………carry the one……one hundred and twenty eight cans of this stuff. If you put twelve in each room, you only have enough for ten rooms. There are seven years, then boys and girls. So there are fourteen rooms. Which four do we skip?" Harry looked taken aback for a second before smiling.
"I'm glad I brought you along. Good man. Fine, we'll leave out the girls. They aren't that cruel anyway. If we just hit the boys, it'll send a message about the cockiness. So we can put at least fifteen cans in each of the boys room, right?" Seamus nodded. "Ok, now I like having three people, because we can each do one step. One of you ('Me' said Dean), fine, Dean will freeze the cans than give them to me. I will cut the can off and hand you the frozen shaving cream. You line them up and just keep freezing them in an organized manner so they don't melt too soon. Then, when they are all done, we place them just inside the doors, and we leave. In the morning, we laugh. Lets start." They began slowly, but after about ten repetitions, things sped up. After about fifteen minutes, all of the cans were done, except for one. Harry put it on the mantle. He figured it would make them even angrier, and that was a good thing. They worked in perfect harmony, going through the de-canned bunch one last time making sure they were all frozen well. They took arm-fulls of the frozen blocks of white ice and placed fifteen in each room of the boys dormitories. Harry had calculated the number of twelve cans from a the size of his own dormitory. Now they were using fifteen cans in each dormitory, and he noted that the Slytherin dormitories were slightly smaller. He couldn't even imagine the effect it would have. It didn't take long to place all of the frozen blocks. They were just slipped through the doors, and then the doors were shut. For the most part they didn't speak, and they were perfectly silent. On occasion they would shake trying to keep in their giggles.
"Harry, we have twenty two left" whispered Dean as he looked down at the pile left in the common room. They had hit all of the boys dorms and watched in awe as a few of the ones left in the commons room began expanding at a noticeable pace. Dean pulled out his wand to freeze them and stop it but Harry held his hand and stopped him.
"No, just leave them and let them do their job. The common room could use some redecorating too." Harry said with a soft snort. Seamus was turning purple from holding in his laughter. Harry signaled to the mantle, and they pulled a chair over to climb up. Harry opened the portrait with his wand, and they climbed in. They turned back and watched as the foaming continued at incredible speeds, creeping along the thick carpet of the Slytherin common room. Harry closed the portrait behind them, and they all subconsciously agreed to run all the way back to their beds.
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"He is terrible Albus, and I move to have him under stricter watch from all of us!" Minerva said. She glanced menacingly around the circular table.
"How can you be so sure?" asked professor Flitwick "Minerva, you have only known him for one day. Can you judge a first year so critically on his first day?"
"I know this may come as a shock to you all, but I must side with our short friend over here. He does have a point. You are being quite judge-mental about this Mutton character, and he's been here just over twenty seven hours" Severus said with a smirk on his face. He loved voting down motions made by the Deputy Headmistress.
"Do we know anything about him?" Professor Sprout asked. Minerva made a movement to speak, but Dumbledore beat her to it.
"Nothing of any importance, I'm afraid" the Headmaster said. "I can see no reason to put the boy under such circumstances…" The headmaster trailed off as a sound was heard through the walls. It was the loud laughing. There were a few voices laughing as they passed through the wall on the far side of the room, but one of them stood out to the headmaster's ears. "On second thought, how about we don't allow him any margin for error. Can we make sure he stays on track? Try to be a little less lenient?"
Too tired to write anything else. Probably tons of mistakes. Leave a review please. Thanks.
