Perfect Beauty
Chapter 9
The rest of the train ride remained silent as Heero submerged himself in his own thoughts. Kanani, without a care in the world, nuzzled her head in to his chest, still emerged in peaceful slumber. The train came to a slow and steady halt, slightly jolting forward as it braked, which was enough to wake Kanani and snap Heero out of his own little day dream. Kanani sat up and looked out the window of the train and read the sign hanging from the ceiling of the depot. "Welcome to Brussels."
"Are we staying here?" Kanani turned and asked Heero.
"No, we are going to catch a bus to Bruges, a city close to the North Sea. How is your ankle?" Heero answered.
"It doesn't hurt anymore but I haven't tried walking on it yet," she replied as she threw her legs over the side of the seat. She placed her good foot down first in an attempt to stand. As she put her other foot down, a dull pain throbbed in her ankle. Kanani stood up, but just barely, and Heero was quickly by her side to give her support.
"The bus station isn't far from here, actually, it's right across the street so you won't have to walk very far," Heero told her as he aided her out of the train car.
Kanani only nodded as Heero helped her off of the train and on to the platform. "Heero, I think I can make it to the bus station from here, honest," Kanani said with a meek smile forming on her lips.
It didn't take a genius to figure out she was lying. He could tell just by the underlying pain in her voice. Heero then noticed something about the look in her eyes. There seemed to be something missing from them. They just appeared to be so empty, almost completely lifeless. The sparkle and the emotion that once was in them, seemed to have disappeared. "Kanani, are you ok?" Heero asked with evident concern in his voice.
"I'm fine Heero," she replied flatly. "Come, we have a bus to catch," she said tossing her bag over her shoulder.
Heero knew something was wrong, she read like an open book. He knew it had something to do with the train ride and the conversation that took place. He could still remember the faint words that came from her lips, 'I guess this is all it will ever be.' That phrase resounded in his mind like a broken record. Lost in his own thoughts, Heero never noticed the retreating form of Kanani hobbling out of the depot. After a few minutes, realization hit. "Kanani? Dammit, where did she go?" Heero cursed as he popped his head up in to the crowd to look for her.
"She couldn't have gone far with that ankle," he concluded as he rummaged through the crowd frantically.
It didn't take long for Heero to find her, the loud "Shit" gave it all away. Heero ran towards the sound and came upon a young girl sitting right in the middle of the depot floor, legs strewn out in front of her and her back pack at her side. Heero stood in front of her and looked down and crossed his arms across his chest. Kanani looked up, she knew he was there and her face burned hot with embarrassment. "Not a word," she muttered. With a smug smile on his face, Heero gave her his hand to help her up and she hesitantly took it. Without one word said, Heero put his arm around her and helped her out the door to the bus station.
As they walked across the street, Kanani hung her head and uttered softly, "Heero, I'm sorry."
"I've got one word for you, stubborn," Heero said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"You know me," she replied weakly with a smile.
"Afraid so, now let's get out of here before you try and run out on me again," Heero retorted as he escorted her towards the bus depot.
Kanani just smiled at his snide comment, she didn't need this at the moment, her ankle felt like pins and needles. "It will be a few minutes before the bus comes, have a seat and get off of your feet," Heero commanded as he pointed to the small wooden bench outside the bus terminal. Kanani gladly took a seat and relieved herself for the time being. Minutes later, a large red bus rolled in. Next destination, Bruges.
Heero stuffed their things in to the cargo bay below the bus and helped Kanani aboard the bus. He then led her towards the very back to find them both a seat. There, instead of the usual two seats, were three.
"Let's sit here, that way you can elevate your leg and have a little privacy also," Heero told her and Kanani only nodded in agreement.
Heero took the seat by the window and Kanani leaned up against him, propping her feet on to the arm rest. Within seconds, the bus roared off to its next destination.
"Heero, how far to Bruges?" she asked as she turned to look up at him.
"About an hour I think," he said as he looked aimlessly at the passing scenery through the window.
"Why are we going there? Brussels would have been just fine," Kanani inquired.
"Bruges is close to the North Sea, and if need be, we can easily slip out of the country. Plus, it's a beautiful city and I thought you might like it," he concluded as he took a second to look down at her for a reaction to his last statement.
A smirk crossed her face and she replied, "Do you think so?"
"Yeah, I figured if we were going to hide out for awhile that we might as well do it in a beautiful place," Heero responded.
"Funny, you would never think we were running from a bunch of IRA terrorists," Kanani retorted.
Heero gently took her face between his hands and looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Don't think for one minute that I forgot the reason why I am protecting you. The thought of those bastards has never left my mind Kanani. I'm doing this for you, can't you see that?"
She casted her gaze downwards from his and in a hushed voice replied, "Are you?"
"What?" Heero said in astonishment, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Who else would I be doing this for?"
"No one, it's your job, that's all. The world revolves around money Heero. People don't do things for the sheer enjoyment of it all or for the sake of humanity. Greed makes the world go round, without money, there would be no motivation. It's the truth and you know it," she told him in a flat, yet quiet tone of voice.
Heero listened wide-eyed to the words that spewed from her mouth. Every word that she said was true, but what was making her say all of this? 'This doesn't sound like the Kanani I know. Her words were filled with so much bitterness and resentment and it seemed to be directed towards me. Whatever feelings she had for me she has discarded or pushed aside. She's set on the idea of me not giving a rats ass about her and that she's just 'another mission' to me. This is crap. Reading my mind doesn't give her the authority to know what I've been through. She has no idea how hard this has all been for me, to discover the emotions within myself, to decipher them and figure out what they all mean. I can't just tell someone how I feel if I'm not sure of the feeling myself. She may have seen it, but she didn't feel inside me, my emotions. That's it, this has gone on far enough,' Heero concluded in his mind.
"Your silence affirms it," she remarked.
"You don't know shit about me Kanani," Heero spat out. "I don't know where the hell you came to the conclusion that I fit into that stereo type. Skimming a book doesn't give you the whole story Kanani, you have to read a little more into the pages before you can see the entire picture."
"Heero, I..." she stammered apologetically.
"You've said enough now just be quiet and enjoy the ride," Heero told her rather calmly.
Kanani turned her head back around and closed her eyes. An overwhelming feeling of guilt started to brew inside of her. 'How could I let my emotions take over like that? I can't believe I said that to him after all he's done for me. I know he doesn't care for me in the way I'd hoped him to, but that doesn't mean I can be so cruel to him. I think I will just keep my mouth shut, I've said enough.'
The awkward silence between the two of them seemed to make the rather short bus ride seem longer. Heero just continued to stare out the window with a vacant expression on his face. He couldn't believe what he had said, but he still couldn't understand the full intentions of Kanani's initial words either. 'Is she really that bitter towards me or is it just a charade? I must talk to her tonight about it, I can't let this go on forever. She's been this way ever since the train ride and I'm not going to let her believe that all of these assumptions she has towards me are true.' A sign then flashed by Heero's eyes that told him that they were almost there.
It was getting late and the afternoon sun had started its assent in the sky, bringing with it the first shades of dusk. He shifted slightly in his seat causing Kanani to stir beside him. The only thing she could do that day was sleep and she knew she would have a hell of a time trying to fall asleep later that night. He gently nudged her with his elbow and whispered, "We're almost there, just a few more minutes."
Kanani slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She then popped her head out down the aisle to look out the front window of the bus. From there she could see the approaching vision of a city, Bruges. She couldn't make much of it now though since it was nearing night fall. Kanani slid back into her seat and turned to face Heero who returned the glance. He looked at her with calm eyes and a plain expression on his face. "Heero?"
"Hn?"
"Why do you take so much crap from me?" she inquired innocently.
"I have to. You're lucky though, I don't take this kind of crap from just anyone," he replied.
Those words made Kanani feel a little better but guilt still loomed within her. She then gave him a gently hug around his waist and whispered into his chest, "I'm so sorry."
It was then that Heero could feel his shirt starting to dampen with the fall of fresh tears. Heero looked down as little sparkles glistened off of Kanani's cheeks. Her eyes were shut but a hint of a smile had formed on her face. He leaned his head upon hers and said softly, "Do you feel better now?"
She lifted her head up from his chest and with tears still in her eyes, nodded. "Now wipe those tears from your eyes, we're here," Heero told her just as the bus started to slow down.
Kanani sniffled as she gently wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes with her sleeve. As soon as the bus came to a complete stop, with the aid of Heero, Kanani slowly stood up and made her way down the aisle towards the front of the bus. Heero got out just before her to help her down off of the bus. After they collected their things, Heero looked around to get a sense of where he was at. "So Heero, where are we staying at?" Kanani said as she took in her surroundings.
"In an little old place down by the Bruges canal, I think you might like it," Heero said suddenly taking her hand. "Come, follow me."
At a slow hobble, Kanani pursued Heero without really a choice. Night had just fallen and the lights of the city went to work lighting up the streets. They slowly walked down the stone covered streets admiring the medieval architecture of the old city. Heero then came to a halt in front of an old two story building adorned in gothic architecture. "Well, here we are," he stated as he looked the building up and down.
"What is this place?" Kanani replied wide-eyed at the marvel before her.
"It's basically a townhouse. Come, let's go inside," Heero said as he dug in his pocket for a key.
"How did you acquire such a place Heero?"
"It belongs to an old friend. He only uses it when he's on business trips. He has a place everywhere," Heero told her as he opened up the door.
"Must be nice to have so much money," she rebutted.
"Not always, now come inside," Heero said as he took her hand and pulled her inside.
He flicked on the lights and the place just lit up. They stepped inside the entry way and were confronted by a beautiful mahogany staircase and a long hallway that laid parallel to it. To the right and left, lay two rooms on each side of the entry just as you walked in. Kanani took in her surroundings and her jaw practically dropped to the floor. The place had the look of a older building but it had all of the modern conveniences of the day. "Wow, this place is amazing," Kanani said, as she plopped down on one of the giant leather sofas in the living room.
"Yeah, but this is nothing. Let me show you to your room so you can get settled in. You can explore the rest of the house tomorrow."
"Can you help me up? I'm practically stuck in this oversize couch," she pleaded as she attempted to get up.
Heero just rolled his eyes and pulled her up off of the couch. "Do you want me to carry you up to your room too?" he said sarcastically.
She only smiled and replied, "Only if you want to."
Without a moment's notice, Heero slung Kanani over his shoulder and took her up the stairs to her room. "I was only kidding Heero."
"It's faster this way any ways. By the way, here we are," Heero said as he eased her off of his shoulder.
Heero turned on the light to Kanani's bedroom and a small smile tugged at his lips when he saw Kanani's reaction. "This is insane Heero, this room is bigger than my own house!"
"You haven't seen mine yet," he replied smugly but Kanani didn't hear him as she threw herself on her queen-sized feather bed.
"I could get used to this," she sighed as she closed her eyes in bliss.
"You even have your own bathroom and a balcony as well. I'm going to go take a shower, call me if you need anything," Heero told her.
"Ok."
Heero shut the door behind him and went to his bedroom across the hall to take a shower. Kanani opened her eyes and decided to check out the view from the balcony. She carefully opened the French doors and a chill wind blew in against her face. She inhaled the cold air and looked up at the night sky above that was covered in a sea of stars. Then the sound of water caught her ear and she looked down to see a beautiful canal below her, "Well Heero did say it was by a canal, didn't know it was this close though."
She turned her head to look back inside and took a quick look at the bathroom. "Heero has the right idea, a shower sure sounds good right now."
Kanani then turned on her heal and walked back inside, shutting the doors behind her. She softly padded across the large room to the bathroom and slowly opened the door. A huge smile spread across her face when she saw that her bathroom was done in a roman bath style. "Does this guy have taste or what?"
She pealed off her clothes and turned the water on in the shower. As she stepped in the shower, the hot water pelted her skin lightly, sending chills up and down her spine. "This is just what the doctor ordered," she sighed blissfully as she massaged the shampoo into her hair. 'I think I'm going back out onto the balcony after this, it had a breathtaking view.'
After indulging herself in a twenty-minute shower, she stepped out and toweled herself off. As soon as she put a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt on, she tied her hair up and went back outside. The wind seemed even colder as it danced in her hair. As she leaned up against the railing, she closed her eyes and inhaled the sweet perfume of the air. Inside, Heero had just peered in her room to check up on her only to find her not there. He then noticed the balcony doors opened. 'Somehow I knew she would be out there,' he thought with a grin on his face.
Heero walked inside her room and inhaled the scent of shampoo that filled the room. He quietly walked out on to the balcony, not wanting to scare Kanani. "Kanani?" he muttered softly.
"Hey Heero, beautiful night isn't it?"
He leaned up against the railing beside her and replied, "Kanani, I need to talk to you."
Those words got her full attention and she turned around to face him. "What is it Heero?"
"Do the words 'I guess this is all it will ever be' ring a bell?"
Kanani turned away from him and replied softly, "I didn't think you heard them."
Heero put his hand under her chin to bring her face up to his. "Of course I did and at first I didn't know what they meant but it didn't take long for me to figure them out."
"I'm sorry Heero, they weren't meant to be heard."
He gently put his hand against her face and said, "Did you actually think that you were just another job for me? Kanani, ever since I've met you, I've been struggling to decipher this whirlwind of emotions inside of me. Emotions aren't a familiar thing in my life so it took me a while to figure out what they all meant. I was so mixed up inside and now I can see it as clear as day."
Without another word, Heero took her lips with his in a soft and sweet kiss. After he broke away, Kanani looked at him awkwardly. "Heero?" she uttered just about a whisper.
"I love you Kanani," he said as he gently kissed her forehead.
Tears began to fall freely down her face, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Do you really mean it?"
Heero kissed her again but this time more deeply and passionately. He slowly broke away and placed his forehead on hers and whispered. "Does that answer your question?"
She just smiled and wrapped her arms around him nuzzling her head in his chest. He embraced her and just rested his head on top of hers. 'Funny, I thought this was going to be a lot harder,' he said to himself as he looked up at the stars above him.
"Heero?"
"Yes?"
"Can you hold me like this for eternity?"
"You don't have to ask twice."
