Sorry this took so long; I am counting down the days until I will be free
of high school forever. Until then, I must continue to slave away
ceaselessly, and only work on my story when I get the opportunity.
In answer to an observation that has been brought up, yes, Danali is based on the show "Dark Angel," which I adored until they cancelled it (grrrr), and in my defense, none of Shakespeare's plots were original either. :)
Also, the thought of sending Danali away never even crossed Haldir's mind; he was simply trying to get her to talk.
Many fuzzies once more to my reviewers. They are personally gift-wrapped with love from Haldir. Deep down he's actually quite a sensitive guy.
Dreaming In Silver
I'm so cold.
The stars are so bright, like candles of spirits in their loneliness.
Jenian is lying under that bush yonder. She's cold too. Her eyes are big. She's staring at Death.
The crimson seeping from her back is staining the snow. It creeps a little way before it freezes. She's staring straight ahead. Death is staring back. I wonder what it looks like.
I reach out to touch it. I touch Jenian's arm instead. I leave my hand there. She's so cold.
I press my face into the snow and wait.
Eventually, the timid spark goes out. It freezes. It spills out with the crimson glittering in the snow.
I raise my head and look at her. She is still staring ahead. Her hand is clenched around soil and snow. Her breath is no longer frosting in the starlit air.
My tears melt the snow under my head.
******
"I have always lived in a waking dream. I have never belonged to myself. Even my thoughts were taken from me before I began to make sense of them. I was not allowed to know who I was, or of what substance my soul was composed. I simply was."
"I don't know my mother; she was taken from me when I was but a few hours in this world. We were expected to be able to take care of ourselves. If we cried, we had to do more drills, more work. We learned quickly that crying showed weakness, and weakness earned punishment."
*****
Here by this river I stand, as my tears fall into the moon-stained water. I kneel and see myself looking back. I turn away.
*******
Dulin, come here Dulin. Good cat. At least you are not staring at me with pity in your beautiful eyes. You don't care where I come from. I hope you don't mind my tears in your fur. I will not look away. I will behold that immortal light in their eyes and I will not look away. I am staring down stars. I'm so frightened.
******
" I- we escaped Nencoras the same night you found me. I don't know where the others are."
Jenian's gone, though.
" I don't know why I'm faster, or stronger. I was just born that way."
I don't care. Why are you asking me these questions? I don't care, I DON'T CARE. Leave me alone, I want to sleep.
Leave me alone.
*******
If only you were here Tay, I could fall into your love and sleep forever. No Elves, no Hunters, just you.
I could lie in your arms and watch the moonlight cascade over the mountaintops. I could dream in silver, not the fire-black shades that consume my joy. I could run and run and run without ever leaving you. The cold strands of my soul would be warm again.
I could dream in silver.
*******
No, I don't want to help find Nencoras on a map. Like they would ever tell us where we lived anyway.
"I don't know where Nencoras is. It's close by, and it's in a forest. That's all I know."
Fangorn? What kind of name is that?
I shake my head. I don't know, damn it.
"Sure. It's there."
Don't grow angry with me, Haldir. Your eyes darken into pools of stormclouds. I don't want you to be angry, I want you to understand. Why won't you understand?
*******
The stars climb across the heavens and focus their rays into the windows. Rumil sits next to me. He looks like an angel in the ancient light, cold and fair. The fire burns low. Dulin sleeps in my lap. I am one surrounded by three, yet I am alone.
I don't want to tell them any more. The pain stabs into my heart with each word. It's like liquid sun pouring down my throat: the memories burn with the strength of fire, as the spark lying within my subconscious burns.
"I guess my only purpose is to kill or be killed. I don't know how to do much of anything else."
Please don't look at me that way, Rumil. Your gaze shimmers in the dark. I can feel the strands rise up and choke me. Your pity encourages them to slither around my spirit and wring it dry.
A silence, heavy as night's wings, falls over us. I look down at my hands and find they have clenched into fists.
Haldir clears his throat. "Well, you now have a new purpose," he says softly.
Anger rises in my chest. What does he know? Maybe I want it this way. My anger subsides as I realize I don't want to live for death. I don't want to hurt anyone.
I glance down at the bow by my crossed legs and want to vomit.
*******
We run down to the lake barefoot, the sun warming the patches of unshaded ground and drawing out our laughter. Tay is clasping my hand in his. He runs so fast, I can barely keep up with him. We stop at the shore and gaze across the water. The water is cold as we wade in, fully clothed, splashing each other all the way. My willow stands near by the bank of the stream, watching over us. Tay and I don't speak; we don't need to. I fling a handful of water up in the air and watch the sun transform the droplets into tiny rainbows, shards of glitter that hang suspended for a moment, then are gone forever.
*******
I will not weep. I will look past the dreams that haunt me and push them away forever. I will extinguish the purple spark that sets control out of my reach. I will, I can..
I squeeze tears from my eyes and sniffle. I can't bear to gaze into their eyes any longer. Dulin stares up at me solemnly. There are stars in her eyes as well. There's nothing but dust in mine.
******
I see you standing there by the roots of my willow. Your arms are raised in welcome, but I am not worthy of you yet. You who had the courage to leave this world before it could harm you any more. Beautiful one, with the dark halo and the pale skin. Crimson swirls danced around you. And they sang.
******
This time, it's Haldir who pick me up in his arms and carries me to my bed. He covers me with a blanket and strokes the strands of hair from my forehead. I hear him sigh. He's so tired, but he thinks no one else notices.
I gaze up sleepily at him, through tear-blurred vision, and murmur, " I wish you could sleep." My hand reaches for his smooth face, but he gently pushes it back down. His eyes are glistening in the moonlight. He can't speak, but simply smiles sadly at me before rising to leave.
I wake up later in the night to a soft, ethereal voice singing wordlessly next to me. In the near utter blackness, I can make out a figure sitting cross-legged by my bed. He sits calm and straight, and very softly brushes his long fingers over my hair and cheek. I see a silver bracelet on his wrist. The small jewel in it glitters like a drop of blood trapped within a diamond.
I don't move. He does not know I'm awake. The song is a call to sleep. It beckons to me. Though there are no words, I know it is a vow of protection, a shield of promised safety that he weaves around me. I slip back into my dreams. They are tinted with silver. No black remains.
*****
Through the cold-induced madness I am fighting, I glance up at the stars again and long to hold them in my hands. If they could fall to the Earth and sing, my soul would be healed.
The snow melts and seeps into my thin tunic. I shiver violently. The tears have frozen on my cheeks. The moonlight strikes Jenian's black hair and makes it shine. Slowly, slowly, a thin rivulet of blood streams from the corner of her parted lips.
I look forward and the stars speak to me. I must go on. I have survived. I will live.
As I gather my cloak about me and rise to my feet, I whisper one last farewell to the one the moon claims as it's own now. I feel my legs move, numbly. I am going quickly now.
The stars guide me. The path opens up before my feet. I will make it.
The snow shimmers. I go to my future.
*******
Thanks so much for reading. I need input here: should I continue this or not? You probably want to see how Danali and Rumil survive together alone (I know I do:), but I don't want this thing to drag on and on forever. And she still hasn't told them everything.. I don't know. * shrugs *
In answer to an observation that has been brought up, yes, Danali is based on the show "Dark Angel," which I adored until they cancelled it (grrrr), and in my defense, none of Shakespeare's plots were original either. :)
Also, the thought of sending Danali away never even crossed Haldir's mind; he was simply trying to get her to talk.
Many fuzzies once more to my reviewers. They are personally gift-wrapped with love from Haldir. Deep down he's actually quite a sensitive guy.
Dreaming In Silver
I'm so cold.
The stars are so bright, like candles of spirits in their loneliness.
Jenian is lying under that bush yonder. She's cold too. Her eyes are big. She's staring at Death.
The crimson seeping from her back is staining the snow. It creeps a little way before it freezes. She's staring straight ahead. Death is staring back. I wonder what it looks like.
I reach out to touch it. I touch Jenian's arm instead. I leave my hand there. She's so cold.
I press my face into the snow and wait.
Eventually, the timid spark goes out. It freezes. It spills out with the crimson glittering in the snow.
I raise my head and look at her. She is still staring ahead. Her hand is clenched around soil and snow. Her breath is no longer frosting in the starlit air.
My tears melt the snow under my head.
******
"I have always lived in a waking dream. I have never belonged to myself. Even my thoughts were taken from me before I began to make sense of them. I was not allowed to know who I was, or of what substance my soul was composed. I simply was."
"I don't know my mother; she was taken from me when I was but a few hours in this world. We were expected to be able to take care of ourselves. If we cried, we had to do more drills, more work. We learned quickly that crying showed weakness, and weakness earned punishment."
*****
Here by this river I stand, as my tears fall into the moon-stained water. I kneel and see myself looking back. I turn away.
*******
Dulin, come here Dulin. Good cat. At least you are not staring at me with pity in your beautiful eyes. You don't care where I come from. I hope you don't mind my tears in your fur. I will not look away. I will behold that immortal light in their eyes and I will not look away. I am staring down stars. I'm so frightened.
******
" I- we escaped Nencoras the same night you found me. I don't know where the others are."
Jenian's gone, though.
" I don't know why I'm faster, or stronger. I was just born that way."
I don't care. Why are you asking me these questions? I don't care, I DON'T CARE. Leave me alone, I want to sleep.
Leave me alone.
*******
If only you were here Tay, I could fall into your love and sleep forever. No Elves, no Hunters, just you.
I could lie in your arms and watch the moonlight cascade over the mountaintops. I could dream in silver, not the fire-black shades that consume my joy. I could run and run and run without ever leaving you. The cold strands of my soul would be warm again.
I could dream in silver.
*******
No, I don't want to help find Nencoras on a map. Like they would ever tell us where we lived anyway.
"I don't know where Nencoras is. It's close by, and it's in a forest. That's all I know."
Fangorn? What kind of name is that?
I shake my head. I don't know, damn it.
"Sure. It's there."
Don't grow angry with me, Haldir. Your eyes darken into pools of stormclouds. I don't want you to be angry, I want you to understand. Why won't you understand?
*******
The stars climb across the heavens and focus their rays into the windows. Rumil sits next to me. He looks like an angel in the ancient light, cold and fair. The fire burns low. Dulin sleeps in my lap. I am one surrounded by three, yet I am alone.
I don't want to tell them any more. The pain stabs into my heart with each word. It's like liquid sun pouring down my throat: the memories burn with the strength of fire, as the spark lying within my subconscious burns.
"I guess my only purpose is to kill or be killed. I don't know how to do much of anything else."
Please don't look at me that way, Rumil. Your gaze shimmers in the dark. I can feel the strands rise up and choke me. Your pity encourages them to slither around my spirit and wring it dry.
A silence, heavy as night's wings, falls over us. I look down at my hands and find they have clenched into fists.
Haldir clears his throat. "Well, you now have a new purpose," he says softly.
Anger rises in my chest. What does he know? Maybe I want it this way. My anger subsides as I realize I don't want to live for death. I don't want to hurt anyone.
I glance down at the bow by my crossed legs and want to vomit.
*******
We run down to the lake barefoot, the sun warming the patches of unshaded ground and drawing out our laughter. Tay is clasping my hand in his. He runs so fast, I can barely keep up with him. We stop at the shore and gaze across the water. The water is cold as we wade in, fully clothed, splashing each other all the way. My willow stands near by the bank of the stream, watching over us. Tay and I don't speak; we don't need to. I fling a handful of water up in the air and watch the sun transform the droplets into tiny rainbows, shards of glitter that hang suspended for a moment, then are gone forever.
*******
I will not weep. I will look past the dreams that haunt me and push them away forever. I will extinguish the purple spark that sets control out of my reach. I will, I can..
I squeeze tears from my eyes and sniffle. I can't bear to gaze into their eyes any longer. Dulin stares up at me solemnly. There are stars in her eyes as well. There's nothing but dust in mine.
******
I see you standing there by the roots of my willow. Your arms are raised in welcome, but I am not worthy of you yet. You who had the courage to leave this world before it could harm you any more. Beautiful one, with the dark halo and the pale skin. Crimson swirls danced around you. And they sang.
******
This time, it's Haldir who pick me up in his arms and carries me to my bed. He covers me with a blanket and strokes the strands of hair from my forehead. I hear him sigh. He's so tired, but he thinks no one else notices.
I gaze up sleepily at him, through tear-blurred vision, and murmur, " I wish you could sleep." My hand reaches for his smooth face, but he gently pushes it back down. His eyes are glistening in the moonlight. He can't speak, but simply smiles sadly at me before rising to leave.
I wake up later in the night to a soft, ethereal voice singing wordlessly next to me. In the near utter blackness, I can make out a figure sitting cross-legged by my bed. He sits calm and straight, and very softly brushes his long fingers over my hair and cheek. I see a silver bracelet on his wrist. The small jewel in it glitters like a drop of blood trapped within a diamond.
I don't move. He does not know I'm awake. The song is a call to sleep. It beckons to me. Though there are no words, I know it is a vow of protection, a shield of promised safety that he weaves around me. I slip back into my dreams. They are tinted with silver. No black remains.
*****
Through the cold-induced madness I am fighting, I glance up at the stars again and long to hold them in my hands. If they could fall to the Earth and sing, my soul would be healed.
The snow melts and seeps into my thin tunic. I shiver violently. The tears have frozen on my cheeks. The moonlight strikes Jenian's black hair and makes it shine. Slowly, slowly, a thin rivulet of blood streams from the corner of her parted lips.
I look forward and the stars speak to me. I must go on. I have survived. I will live.
As I gather my cloak about me and rise to my feet, I whisper one last farewell to the one the moon claims as it's own now. I feel my legs move, numbly. I am going quickly now.
The stars guide me. The path opens up before my feet. I will make it.
The snow shimmers. I go to my future.
*******
Thanks so much for reading. I need input here: should I continue this or not? You probably want to see how Danali and Rumil survive together alone (I know I do:), but I don't want this thing to drag on and on forever. And she still hasn't told them everything.. I don't know. * shrugs *
