Dear Rick,

That really isn't encouraging; please try and keep your sister out of trouble. But, as her mother says, at least we don't have to worry about VDs and birth control! Whether Hermione's parents would see it that way is a cause for some concern on my part, however, so tell her to be reasonably careful.

I'm glad you have reached some sort of equilibrium with cousin Draco, but watch your back. You never quite know when he'll decide to do something awful. His father was the same, you know.

I'll take your suggestion under advisement; I have to say I wouldn't mind seeing that Durseley idiot's face if I were to let slip that you were at the same school as Harry. Oh, and be sure to let him know that young Dudley just got arrested for purchasing alcohol under age, and his parents are not best pleased!

Yours,

Dad.

I read this out in the common room, to loud laughter. Fran went bright red, especially when I explained about what I'd said in the previous letter, but Hermione took it with good grace. Harry grinned like he'd just caught Cho Chang in the showers when he heard about his cousin's run-in with the law. Ron was a bit puzzled. He just couldn't equate me or my dad with the Malfoys. To be honest, I think most people have the same trouble, even Mum. Harry pointed out the difference between him and Percy, and he saw the point. You may be pleased to learn that Bill and Charlie Weasely popped back home a few days into the holidays, and Percy still hasn't regained the full use of his right arm, "Though since he's left-handed he won't become less of a wanker!" as Ron so eloquently put it. We were all in stitches once we'd worked that one out.

Our next lesson was Quidditch practice, which I'd been looking forward to. Madame Hooch looked at my broom with some suspicion; the Silver Comet series were very, very fast but a bugger to control, and this one didn't look like it was much better. The tryouts for the team were tomorrow -this lesson was basically the equivalent of PE- but I was put in the currently vacant Beater's position along with Ron's younger sister Ginny. She was good, by all acounts, and actually preferred this position to Seeker.

"Everybody hits the Bludgers at you, and besides the rest of the team were always comparing me to Harry," she explained. "I can just about live with being compared to Fred and George, I think, because I'm better at it than them."

//You're better looking, too!// I almost said, but I suspected that Ron would not have been amused. His attitude to those who tried to take liberties with his kid sister is legendary.

It was a frenetic match, characterised by Ginny directing an unnecessary number of Bludgers at Ron, who was on the opposing side. I made a major tactical error by knocking out Angelina Johnson, doing my chances of getting on the team a power of no good. It was quite a tricky shot at an awkward angle and some distance, and it stopped her from scoring, but I imagined that this would be qualified in her recollection by the bruises and the concussion. However, for a team of mixed newcomers and House team members we did pretty well, only missing the Snitch by a second and coming up just twenty points behind.

Ron was left with a bad nosebleed, and significant ill-feeling towards his sibling. "I ought to let her get groped by some Slytherin seventh year," he complained. "Maybe that'd teach her to be a bit nicer to her big brother." I began to suspect that Ginny might be trying to get him to do just that, though I doubted a Slytherin seventh year featured anywhere, and I was proved right.

"If he's serious, I might just get a bit of peace," Ginny whispered quite audibly to one of her friends, a girl I didn't know.

We all heard this; we were probably supposed to. Everybody, except Ron, howled with laughter. Ron's face turned a similar colour to his hair, and I felt it might not be a bad idea to be somewhere else. However, being me, I made a point of blowing Ginny a kiss as I departed.

Ron tok me aside at lunch time, and made a few points about what would happen to me if I tried it on with Ginny. Especially the part about the honey, the anthill and the manacles, which I won't go into just in case you're eating as you read this. Fran was quite amused.

"I think Ginny's got a crush on you," she said. "Lucky git. Wouldn't mind some of that myself!" Having a lesbian for a younger sister is a pain sometimes. I imagine it's bad enough competing with a brother, but a SISTER... On the other hand, I have succeeded a few times where she has failed. At least she was concentrating her efforts on Hermione, who could be so bossy I wasn't crazy enough even to try, and it would be fun seeing the ultimate conclusion of this strange courtship. Even if Fran failed, at least there'd be a catfight to bet on, and Fran very rarely failed.

I headed for Charms with something approaching enthusiasm, mentally composing a letter home as I walked. A suitable method of making Vernon Dursley look very, very stupid had sprung to mind, but I'd need a bit of help with this from Dad...