"Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's."
-Hipolito
Kagome sat in bed processing everything Miroku had told her. Pushing InuYasha aside for a moment she allowed herself to ponder his brother.
He had silently gripped her shoulders while Miroku told her more about him than she ever imagined she'd know.
Sitting up, Kagome suddenly had the urge to talk to the man herself. So dragging a sweatshirt over her thin undershirt she tiptoed over to his room.
Without a sound she opened the door. Kagome was surprised to not only find the door unlocked but finding him asleep was another shock. She made her way over to him and studied his face. He seemed peaceful, but the death grip he had on the pillow showed her all.
"Even in sleep he hides his feelings…"
Kagome slid into bed with him and nudged his slumbering form close. She wanted so desperately to understand the man she held in her arms it hurt. With noiseless tears she hugged him even closer. Kagome wanted to save him from the horror of his dreams.
Sesshomaru awoke to wetness on his face. He instantly felt tiny arms surrounding him even though the body quaked with tears. He breathed in the scent.
Kagome.
He started to shift from underneath her to wrap an arm about her waist. With his free hand he brushed away her new tears.
"Kagome, why are you here?" he whispered, afraid that he would scare away his dream girl.
"I wanted, I wanted you to tell me why you couldn't kill Miroku." Her arms tightened around his neck, as if she too was afraid of loosing him to some unknown source.
Sesshomaru lost the internal battle that screamed she didn't need to know this much. So he could only begin…
"Even though I was the fastest and the smartest fighter, I never killed the victim. I caught the boy, yes, but I never killed. I would say I was saving the kill for the other boys, but really I was just too scared…"
He gulped. Kagome was rubbing his naked back in a perfect imitation of his soothing motion. Sighing, he went on.
"The masters didn't care if I killed or not in the simulations. They expected it from me eventually though. After six years of being away it was sort of a test. They were testing to see if I could kill…and if my "talent" had varnished throughout the years. So…I went. The game was usually for the weakest student, but it took me two days to find Miroku."
Sesshomaru sighed again, remembering the event.
When I found him, tied to a tree, I know he wasn't the weakest student. They had beaten him severely for evading me for so long and caught him with the chip they use to track every "student." It was a test I could not pass, especially when it was so easily given to me. I dropped Miroku off at a local shrine where the monks accepted him. Then, I returned for my punishment. I had removed his chip and failed to kill the target. The punishment was death."
Kagome's arms tightened again and he went on, desperately trying to finish.
"For three weeks I was hunted, but no one could find me. I had managed to remove my chip in the process so the masters couldn't find me either. I escaped and soon after they officially expelled me. I can never return to Japan without risking my life."
Kagome buried her head into his chest.
"What happened after that?"
"I simply became a hired bodyguard. My fake credentials as serving the ambassador in Japan were flawless. I went around different people for a while until I came here from a tip of Miroku's."
Kagome's tears had stopped, but she still wanted to comfort him—let him know she would be there fore him. So she quietly moved to straddle him and with her fingers traced the outside of his lips.
"Kagome, I…?"
"Shhhhhhh…" she silenced him with a gentle and comforting kiss. It was slow and deliberate; her lips parted his carefully but with full intention of continuing.
While she kissed him, Kagome's hands ran up and down his chest; she seemed to be memorizing every muscle and inch of his skin. She wordlessly removed her clothes in a tantalizing fashion while continuing to kiss his neck and mouth in that slow manner.
She then seductively reached for his boxers and tugged them off as well. Kagome then began to kiss and lick every part of his chest and arms, worshipping his body with her warm mouth. She then returned to his face, gently kissing his forehead, ears, cheeks, nose and eyes. Every movement was sensual and arousing to Sesshomaru.
When she finally revisited his lips, however, Kagome began to break out in tears once more. Sess brought his hands to travel up her waist and to link around her back.
"Kagome, you don't have to do this. I know you care for me…as a friend," he added as an afterthought, not quite sure what to refer to her as.
His one and only love?
"I know," she whispered against his lips. "But please, make me forget, if only for a night. Please, Sess, please make love to me."
Sesshomaru was overcome by the raw emotion from Kagome. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He needed her comfort now more than never. He needed to be equal with her. He needed her to give as well.
"Kagome, I need you to make love to me too. Can you do that?"
It wasn't directly asking for her love but it was as close as he could come to it. Kagome noticed the need and desperation in his voice. She paused, knowing that she could never turn her back on him after this.
But at that moment, she knew she never wanted to.
She started kissing him again but he pulled her back once more.
"Are you sure?" Kagome looked at him and smiled.
"Yes, I'm sure."
They made love that night, slowly and full of meaning. Even though they did not speak the words, love was shown in every kiss, embrace and caress.
When they almost reached the pinnacle, Sess made Kagome open her eyes. He intertwined their fingers pressing her hand to his chest.
"You have my heart," he whispered meekly.
"And you have mine," she answered.
Then they were both lost in that lover's paradise reserved in the heavens.
