Another I haven't updated in such a long time!!!
WARNING!!! POTENTIALLY HAZARDOUS GRAPHIC SCENES AHEAD!! If you are suffering from any medical conditions that puts you in the categories of "weak of heart" or "easily nauseated" PLEASE DO NOT READ MY STORY!!! I've had more than enough lawsuits hurled towards me for other unmentioned reasons already!!! I HAVE WARNED YOU!!!!
*Others of which the warning does not pertain to, please enjoy with a nice bowl of ice cream & Vanilla Coke ;-P *
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Lossst Preciousssessss
Ch. 4 So Hot In Herrre
"Awww, man!" Now he's gonna go & get out his kit!" Gimli grumbled, bending over to make a comfy leaf pile.
"Great, we'll just be delayed ANOTHER week from 'Lorien," Frodo complained from inside the bush he was still trapped in. Merry & Pippin, too scared to involve themselves until now, sighed in agreement, and followed Gimli's wise example in making some comfy leaf piles to sit upon for the interminable beauty session that was bound to have had happened sooner or later.
Boromir and Gandalf had nothing better to do so, and were too lazy to move to sit down, so they just stood there and stared blankly. A squirrel climbed on the still open mouthed Gandalf. It quickly scurried up his robe & grabbed hold of his long, bushy beard, that it found very soft and luxurious, so it decided to stay put there. Boromir looked over, half asleep. Another squirrel came and decided it would perch itself on the FULLEST part of the back of Boromir's cloak.
Aragorn had naught to say about all of this so he just stood silently, leaning against a tree, knowing full well that any interruption at this point would just result in him getting HIMSELF unwillingly made over.
Legolas smiled with the utmost triumph and excitement gleaming in his eyes. He whispered softly.
"Let the makover begin."
He stretched his arms out in front of him and cracked his knuckles, then twisted his neck, and proceeded to do some arm stretches; all as a force of habit after his many years of being the most knowledgeable beauty specialist in all of Middle-Earth.
Legolas stood upright suddenly, unmoving, lipgloss shining, skin perfectly highlighted in all the right areas. He slowly started tapping his index finger on his leg.
"HIT IT BOYS!!!!" He yelled abruptly, raising his finger into the air. The song 'Hot in Herre' started playing immediately from the forest band, which consisted of squirrels on background vocals, numerous other wild animals on percussion, trees as DJ's, and Elrond coming out from behind a tree, rockin' the Vokal gear and ice, holdin a mic rapping.
"I prefer working with a musical accompaniment," he told the orc, who stood there, with glazed eyes of fondness & worship.
"Come on, chillax, dance for a lil' bit, then we can begin the task at hand," Legolas then startled gyrating through the trees bumping and grinding some. He passed some female squirrels in the midst of singing "I am getting so hot! I wanna take my clothes off!" He immediately flung out his cloak at them. It landed on one of the squirrels, causing her to pass out, starry eyed and dumbfounded from getting a personal souvenir from the Prince. Her fellow girlfriends rushed over at once, fanning her face, in an attempt to rouse her once more before the next chorus.
"Warm, sweatin its hot up in this joint
Covergirl makeup, on at this point
Your with a winner so baby you can't lose
I got secrets can't leave Mirkwood
So take it off like you're home alone
You know dance in front your mirror while your on the phone
Checkin your reflection and tellin your best friend,
like "Legolas, I think my butt gett'n' big" (oh)"
The squirrels chimed in with their part again, after Elrond completed his verse, changing some of the words to fit the situation at hand.
"I am getting so hot! Legolas take your clothes off!!" They chirped eagerly, waiting for some action from the macho man. Legolas promptly started pelvic thrusting and slowly started to strip his clothes.
The orc looked on eagerly as well, wondering what beauty secrets he held underneath.
The squirrels on Boromir's ass & Gandalf's beard shook to the beat, dancing around, too. Gandalf's beard was now an unruly tangled mess of grey-white hair and squirrel fur. Boromir enjoyed the tingle and slight massage he was receiving on his buttocks by his own squirrel.
"MEEP!!!!!!" Came the battle cry of more orcs, followed by the immense noise that the collision of heavy orc foot and forest-life created.
The music faded immediately, with Elrond inconspicuously slipping behind a tree, along with his backup singers, who reluctantly vanished along with him into the forest.
This alerted the crew and sent a fresh rush of adrenaline through them all in preparation for battle, all except for Legolas, who hung his head, regretfully, and whipped his bow, arrows, and cheap cologne spray in an effort to steel himself for the onslaught of a rapidly approaching mass of orcs.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
WHOO!!! How'd ya like that?! I found this chapter scribbled on sum looseleaf from October of last year, I finally typed it up, adding in a few new details herre & thurr, so yeah, hope to update this soon again & thanx for your reviews!! ;-P Keep the peace & the bacon, eggs & cheese!! Far Easstsiide representin' yo!!! Holla!!! (
WARNING!!! POTENTIALLY HAZARDOUS GRAPHIC SCENES AHEAD!! If you are suffering from any medical conditions that puts you in the categories of "weak of heart" or "easily nauseated" PLEASE DO NOT READ MY STORY!!! I've had more than enough lawsuits hurled towards me for other unmentioned reasons already!!! I HAVE WARNED YOU!!!!
*Others of which the warning does not pertain to, please enjoy with a nice bowl of ice cream & Vanilla Coke ;-P *
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Lossst Preciousssessss
Ch. 4 So Hot In Herrre
"Awww, man!" Now he's gonna go & get out his kit!" Gimli grumbled, bending over to make a comfy leaf pile.
"Great, we'll just be delayed ANOTHER week from 'Lorien," Frodo complained from inside the bush he was still trapped in. Merry & Pippin, too scared to involve themselves until now, sighed in agreement, and followed Gimli's wise example in making some comfy leaf piles to sit upon for the interminable beauty session that was bound to have had happened sooner or later.
Boromir and Gandalf had nothing better to do so, and were too lazy to move to sit down, so they just stood there and stared blankly. A squirrel climbed on the still open mouthed Gandalf. It quickly scurried up his robe & grabbed hold of his long, bushy beard, that it found very soft and luxurious, so it decided to stay put there. Boromir looked over, half asleep. Another squirrel came and decided it would perch itself on the FULLEST part of the back of Boromir's cloak.
Aragorn had naught to say about all of this so he just stood silently, leaning against a tree, knowing full well that any interruption at this point would just result in him getting HIMSELF unwillingly made over.
Legolas smiled with the utmost triumph and excitement gleaming in his eyes. He whispered softly.
"Let the makover begin."
He stretched his arms out in front of him and cracked his knuckles, then twisted his neck, and proceeded to do some arm stretches; all as a force of habit after his many years of being the most knowledgeable beauty specialist in all of Middle-Earth.
Legolas stood upright suddenly, unmoving, lipgloss shining, skin perfectly highlighted in all the right areas. He slowly started tapping his index finger on his leg.
"HIT IT BOYS!!!!" He yelled abruptly, raising his finger into the air. The song 'Hot in Herre' started playing immediately from the forest band, which consisted of squirrels on background vocals, numerous other wild animals on percussion, trees as DJ's, and Elrond coming out from behind a tree, rockin' the Vokal gear and ice, holdin a mic rapping.
"I prefer working with a musical accompaniment," he told the orc, who stood there, with glazed eyes of fondness & worship.
"Come on, chillax, dance for a lil' bit, then we can begin the task at hand," Legolas then startled gyrating through the trees bumping and grinding some. He passed some female squirrels in the midst of singing "I am getting so hot! I wanna take my clothes off!" He immediately flung out his cloak at them. It landed on one of the squirrels, causing her to pass out, starry eyed and dumbfounded from getting a personal souvenir from the Prince. Her fellow girlfriends rushed over at once, fanning her face, in an attempt to rouse her once more before the next chorus.
"Warm, sweatin its hot up in this joint
Covergirl makeup, on at this point
Your with a winner so baby you can't lose
I got secrets can't leave Mirkwood
So take it off like you're home alone
You know dance in front your mirror while your on the phone
Checkin your reflection and tellin your best friend,
like "Legolas, I think my butt gett'n' big" (oh)"
The squirrels chimed in with their part again, after Elrond completed his verse, changing some of the words to fit the situation at hand.
"I am getting so hot! Legolas take your clothes off!!" They chirped eagerly, waiting for some action from the macho man. Legolas promptly started pelvic thrusting and slowly started to strip his clothes.
The orc looked on eagerly as well, wondering what beauty secrets he held underneath.
The squirrels on Boromir's ass & Gandalf's beard shook to the beat, dancing around, too. Gandalf's beard was now an unruly tangled mess of grey-white hair and squirrel fur. Boromir enjoyed the tingle and slight massage he was receiving on his buttocks by his own squirrel.
"MEEP!!!!!!" Came the battle cry of more orcs, followed by the immense noise that the collision of heavy orc foot and forest-life created.
The music faded immediately, with Elrond inconspicuously slipping behind a tree, along with his backup singers, who reluctantly vanished along with him into the forest.
This alerted the crew and sent a fresh rush of adrenaline through them all in preparation for battle, all except for Legolas, who hung his head, regretfully, and whipped his bow, arrows, and cheap cologne spray in an effort to steel himself for the onslaught of a rapidly approaching mass of orcs.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
WHOO!!! How'd ya like that?! I found this chapter scribbled on sum looseleaf from October of last year, I finally typed it up, adding in a few new details herre & thurr, so yeah, hope to update this soon again & thanx for your reviews!! ;-P Keep the peace & the bacon, eggs & cheese!! Far Easstsiide representin' yo!!! Holla!!! (
