Moment of Decision

Part Four

By Rhea Jediknight & Ash Darklighter

Disclaimer: The characters and situations used in this fic are the property of Lucasfilm ltd. We are not making so much as a credit from their use.

There was silence. Luke peered into the darkness of the undergrowth. Even with Jedi enhanced vision and hearing, he couldn't see where she had gone. Letting out a deep sigh, Luke returned to the clearing and slumped against the outer hull of the vehicle. Why couldn't she trust him? Yes, he shouldn't have invaded her dream, but he'd been in before he'd had a chance to apply the brakes.

Opening the bag he took out a bottle of water and took a swig. He had to go after her. Suppose she went over her ankle again? Suppose… "Enough, Skywalker," he told himself. "Go find her and bring her back." Straightening his shoulders he replaced the water in the bag and slung it across his body. In a purely instinctive gesture he caressed her lightsaber at his hip and bringing it into his hand he ignited it – the blade shining its pure blue light in the darkness. "I'm coming to find you, Mara," he vowed. "Lead me to her," he whispered into the darkness, and managed all of two steps.

"You would never have found me if I hadn't let you."

Luke swirled around as her voice echoed around the clearing. "Mara?"

"Yeah," she said dryly. "It's me. Who else?" Mara stepped out of the dense trees, her red hair reflecting the dim light from the ground transport.

He closed down the saber and held it out to her. "Take it – this belongs to you. You could not resist the call of your lightsaber. A Jedi's lightsaber is more than a mere weapon. The art of wielding a lightsaber is a discipline for the mind and the body." Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master was in control.

She held out her hand and Luke let the saber fly. The moment it touched the palm of her hand, Mara ignited the saber and pointed it at Luke.

Luke smiled, the blue light picking out the shape of his face. "I have one of those too." He grinned and his own saber flew off his belt and into his hand igniting as it did so. "Strange," he murmured. "My saber is the colour of your eyes and yours is the colour of mine."

"I'm not a coward, Luke."

Luke shut off his weapon. "I know. You proved it by coming back."

Mara stared at her lightsaber twisting it from side to side hearing the satisfying sound it made as she moved it. "What would you have done if I had gone?"

"I was going to come after you and I would have found you. I'm never letting you go."

His words made her hands tremble. Force, he really was serious. "I know. I realised that when I'd calmed down a bit." She walked towards him and he tried to see her expression in the dark.

"I'm sorry, Mara. I didn't mean to invade your privacy." Luke stared down at his black knee length boots. "Surely you know that I would never do such a thing intentionally?"

Mara assessed the man in front of her. Of course she knew him – better than anyone did and he was correct. He would not trespass through her mind without her permission. "I know," she said softly. "You and that damn Jedi code of yours…"

"You're wrong, Mara." Luke gave a nervous, embarrassed grin. "It's not all from the Jedi Code. My Aunt Beru taught me manners."

"Force preserve me! Outer Rim morality rears its head again."

"We should get inside." Luke scanned the surrounding area, Jedi senses on full alert. "The vehicle has armoured plating just in case some jungle predator decides that raw Jedi is on the menu."

"Sure, farmboy." Mara paused and laid her hand on his arm. "Luke…"

"Get inside the transport," he urged anxiously.

"Not before I…" Mara sighed and then let her arm drop to her side. "I'm sorry. I was wrong and I let my anger take control as usual.

"Apology accepted, Jade. Now will you get inside?"

"Of course, Skywalker"

Just then, a predator growled uncomfortably close to their position in amongst the shadowy trees. They moved quickly, returning to the inside of the vehicle. Luke shut the door, but made no move to occupy either of the front two seats. When he sat in the back, Mara joined him. The low interior lighting made it easy to see each other, but gave the cabin a comfortable, intimate atmosphere. Through a window, they watched a low shadow slink across the place they had vacated and then disappear into the jungle again.

Luke turned away and began rummaging in his bag.

"Why are we going to these ruins?" Mara asked.

Luke shook his head, "I can't tell you." He pulled out a small table and began setting out the means for making a small meal.

At Mara's annoyed look, he shrugged sheepishly, "I had to do something like it myself back on Dagobah. It's not fun, but I think it's necessary. Ration bar?"

"Thanks," she took it from him. "All right." She replied slowly. "Do I get to guess?"

Luke looked warily at her.

"Let's see. It's something all Jedi do, right?" There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"I don't know about all Jedi, but everyone here at the Academy eventually goes to the ruins before officially being knighted." Luke answered cautiously. "Drink?"

"Thanks." Mara frowned at him and grabbed the tumbler of hot liquid he'd just poured from a flask. "Is this where I renounce all colours, swearing never to wear anything but black?"

Luke chuckled. "You can if you like, but I like you in colours. You have this dress the colour of your eyes…" his voice tailed off reverently. "It's so beautiful. Not that I don't like you in black – I do. It sets off the colour of your skin and hair…" Luke's cheeks grew slightly red, but his gaze never wavered as he watched Mara closely.

Mara blushed. He seemed determined to discomfit her. With a struggle she tried to maintain her hard won equilibrium. "No? Well then, is this where I learn the fine art of speaking in backwards phrases?"

"Nope." Luke answered, amused. "Piece of fruit?" He began peeling one of Yavin's tropical fruits for her. "These are really good."

"Skywalker!" Mara griped. Here she was trying to have a conversation of sorts with him, and he was trying to feed her.

"Try this. It's very good. My sister is particularly fond of these." He held out a piece of the pink flesh and blinking at him in the subdued lighting, she opened her mouth and chewed obediently.

"Okay, then," Mara swallowed the morsel and returned to her subject. "I guess this is where I shut myself off from the rest of the world and become a hermit, rejecting love and dedicating my life to the Force."

His expression grew serious. His meal preparations forgotten, Luke searched her face, trying to sense the emotion that prompted this statement. "Is that what you think I've done?"

Mara shrugged and stole another piece of fruit from Luke's plate.

"You do think that. You're wrong," he declared..

"I'm not the only one who's been running. You use your status as a Jedi Master as an excuse to avoid living."

Luke blinked. That was the second person in as many days to say that to him and he had the faint suspicion that his sister had also said something similar the last time he'd visited her on Coruscant. He picked up his tumbler and took a swig of the hot liquid. "Do you want anything else to eat?"

"No I do not," Mara continued heatedly. If she had to evaluate her way of life, then she would not do so alone. The Jedi Master was not going to get all the things his own way either. "Your Jedi robes are a convenient buffer between you and the rest of the world. Corran is worried about you."

"He shouldn't be – he has things of his own to worry about or he will have soon." Luke murmured distractedly as he considered her words, "Maybe at one time I did hide behind the identity of the Jedi Master," he conceded, "But I couldn't continue to do that. Not when I had my work to do." He remembered the time he had refused all contact with the outside world right after Callista abandoned him for her quest to reclaim the Force. He had been so angry then, distraught; certain that if she never returned he was destined to live his life alone. Now he knew that this was not necessarily the case. The Force did not determine his entire path; he was an active participant in deciding his own destiny.  The future is always in motion. "I was selfish. When Callista left I thought only of myself and not of my life's task…"

"You don't get it, Skywalker! Everyone needs to be selfish now and again. It is human."

Luke gave her his open, unaffected, farmboy grin. "I'm not supposed to be human, remember? I'm the Jedi Master. You know? The saintly guy in black. "

Mara snorted. "You didn't let your friends help you when Call… when she left. You dived into one foolhardy mission after another."

"I had to stay busy; I had to feel necessary again. I needed to be wanted by someone for something… anything." Luke's voice was desperate. "I couldn't just sit…"

"You had your friends, you family.  Me."

"I know that Mara, but you were always so remote.  You didn't need me bringing my foul mood to your life.  You were so busy with your work. You'd had enough of the Force and the Jedi. You needed normality and I couldn't give you that. I didn't want to bother you."

"I wanted you to come to me.  I could feel your pain, but I didn't want to intrude. My life has never been normal. I wouldn't know what it was."

"Thank you Mara.  That means a lot.  It just seemed easier to throw myself into one mission or quest after another."

"I know but you needed private time too. You shut off your emotions and… "

"My friends didn't know how to help me. I love my sister but she was suffocating me and I didn't want to foist my black humour on everyone else."

"I think they left you alone too long." Mara saw his shoulders relax a little.

"Probably, but it is easy to be wise after the event and I still had the Jedi. It was all I seemed to have left. I wasn't thinking too clearly at the time." He shrugged self-deprecatingly before continuing softly, "I believe in the Jedi and in the Academy. I have to. It's my task you see. Too many people died to save me and I owe every single one of them."

"I think you have more than repaid any debt, Skywalker." Mara glanced down at her hands, "Despite all my protestations to the contrary," she looked up to meet his gaze, "I'm really proud of what you've done here. I would never have decided to train on Yavin, if I didn't believe in it too."

Luke smiled broadly, warmed by this admission, "Thanks, that means a lot to me." Luke took her hand, caressing the smooth skin of her palm with his thumb. "We have something very special, Mara. I think it's time that we both acknowledged this."

"Skywalker." Mara felt her heart ache but her common sense demanded that she bring them both to reality. "You know you're my best friend."

He replied, "And you're mine, but we're more than that and you know it."

"I know how impulsive you can be."

"Impulsive?"

"You know, the man who flew an X-wing against a Death Star, who abandoned his Master to go rush off and have a showdown with Darth Vader, the one who walked into an Imperial garrison and surrendered to Vader and the Emperor. You remember that person?

Luke looked slightly abashed, "Well, it all worked out in the end."

Mara considered this and then agreed, "You have a point." Then she continued determinedly, "Did you deliberately enter my dream?"

Luke flushed and said, "Yes and no. I'm sorry about that, Mara. I never meant to invade your privacy or betray your trust, but you were in some distress. I could feel it. I reached out to you and that was it. I was with you – none of your barriers were operational. It was that simple. I would not enter your head without your permission. That would make me no better than Palpatine and I couldn't do it."

Mara nodded, her fears assuaged. "I know. I wouldn't have returned to you if I didn't really believe that. I must have unconsciously allowed you in. I don't think my barriers normally slip so low, even in sleep. But if that ever happens again Skywalker, just wake me alright?"

"Yes, Ma'am. It's a deal." He smiled. "I would never deliberately do something that would drive you away from me. You're too important to me."

Mara's expression grew shuttered.

Luke persisted earnestly, feeling her withdrawal. Fear that she would leave him touched the edges of his thoughts. "I know it seems sudden, but it's really been a long time in coming. We've known each other for years. I have learned patience and I've learned to know my own mind, Jade. Not taking this chance to become closer would have been sheer stupidity on my part. This thing between us… I have never felt like this before and I know that you are the only one that I could feel that way with. All these years, Jade..."

Mara shook her head so slowly, that she was not even aware that she did so. "And in that time, you've fallen in love with a handful of women, none of which, I might point out were me." The edge to her voice made Luke wince.

"They were always second best. They never worked out because they weren't you. I can see that I'm going to have to prove to you that I know my own heart. Perhaps I never fell in love with you because I was already in love with you. You were in my heart and mind but part of me recognised that you weren't ready for my love. So I pushed aside my destiny and tried to make a life for myself as best I could."

"It's too sudden, Luke," she said quietly. "I have to think…"

"I understand," he answered just as quietly, his blue eyes holding hers. His gaze travelled over her face, committing ever detail to memory. Mara shivered, despite the warmth of the vehicle's cabin.

"Luke…"

"I will wait for you. Whatever you decide."

Mara's mouth dropped open. It had sounded like a vow.

His vivid blue eyes peered deeply into his emerald green ones. A hesitant smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She stretched out with the Force, trying to read him. Luke closed his eyes, the smile slipping ever so slightly from his mouth. His open sincerity and encouraging tenderness caressed her spirit.

His eyes fluttered open and he reached out hesitantly to gently brush the side of her face. Her eyelids became heavy. Mara found herself being affected by this barest of touches. Luke pulled her slowly toward him, peering into her eyes anticipating a rejection, waiting for her to push him away. When she leaned ever so slightly against his chest, he bent his head and kissed her. His lips moved slowly, languidly over her mouth. The kiss was more leisurely than the one in the pool, but no less intense.

Mara felt as if her heart were expanding. A part of her wanted to protest, to stop Luke from continuing this onslaught of her senses, but another part of her recognized her motivation for wishing such a thing. He felt heavenly against her, the only time she had ever felt so good was on previous occasions when he had kissed her. She was no longer under the drugging influence of medication, nor was she dreaming. This was incredibly real and she wanted to lose herself in the sensations. He was dangerous to her equilibrium, devastating for her self control, and lethal for her heart, but she had to see what this felt like. She had to see if the feelings he'd induced in her the last time were all that she remembered. Mara sucked his bottom lip into her mouth causing him to gasp. He pushed her hard against the seat, moulding his body to her own, deepening the kiss. She shuddered, currents of desire streaking though her body and wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him tightly in place. Their hands roamed freely, each caress stoking the fire that threatened to consume them, with the kiss a heady expression of passionate desire. The feel of him pressed against her, the scent of him, the very essence of him through the Force was almost overwhelming. She had an incredible urge to throw all caution aside and allow this kiss to continue to its inevitable conclusion, but she knew it was too soon. Mara Jade never let go of caution. This feeling was too overwhelming. Mara felt too vulnerable, uncertain of their relationship. Still she wanted to move on, didn't she?

Luke was not used to feeling so out of control. The passion he felt for Mara was all consuming, and he was relieved to learn that Mara was similarly affected. He yearned for fulfilment, wanting her with a hunger that was terrifying, and yet he welcomed it. He didn't fear his growing attachment to her, or his desperate need for this beautiful woman. Instead, he knew that he would pursue her, vowing to never give up. He had never felt anything like this before, and he knew with an utter certainty that they were right together. Luke would not allow her to walk away from the incredible feelings that they stirred within each other. He would not sit idly by and allow Mara to turn away from this, from him. But Mara was right – it was too soon. He also knew they needed to slow down, stop before their passion devoured them utterly.

He felt Mara's sudden disquiet, and pulled back to look down at her. Her eyes were a deep, sultry emerald green, heavily lidded. Her lips were slightly swollen and an intense shade of red from his kisses. Luke groaned, searching deep within himself for the ability to control his body's all too human reaction. He sat upright and pulled her up against him, resting his chin on the top of her head until their breathing returned to a semblance of normality. Their hearts slowed and their skin cooled.

"If I can't have you, there will never be anyone. I mean it."

Mara's thoughts were racing, wondering what to say, unsure even what she wanted at that exact moment. She had experienced passion before, but never once in her life had she desired someone as much as she wanted Luke Skywalker. She let her mind consider this. He was handsome and strong, possessing a courage and resourcefulness that was unique. He seemed to know and understand her in a way no one ever had, not even the Emperor. Her desire for him seemed to stem from more than just the physical. A wave of fear spread through her and she closed her eyes, stopping her thoughts from progressing. She wasn't ready for this. She tried to pull away, but Luke held her still.

"Shhh." He whispered, running his hand soothingly down her hair and onto her back and felt her relax. They had the beginnings of a bond through the Force, and he had caught the basic content of her thoughts. Luke was both thrilled and frightened by her reaction. He had debated telling her about his feelings, but knew that Mara was not prepared to hear anything more right now. He was not even sure if he even wanted to admit to them himself, just yet. He brought his hand up and tenderly brushed a lock of shining hair from her forehead. "Sshh! Its okay, sweetheart. This is not a decision based on a momentary impulse. I mean it. If I cannot have you in my arms I will be forever alone and I will accept it. There is no pressure on you, Mara. I have grown accustomed to being single. You are never truly alone if you have the Force."

"I don't want you to be alone," she whispered, her eyes downcast.

He felt exposed, even a little fragile at the moment, and he didn't want anything to shatter his newfound hope. The little shoot had unfurled its leaves just yesterday and couldn't be hot-housed. It had to grow naturally. They continued to hold their embrace, clutching each other tightly. When Mara's breathing became deep and even, Luke looked down to discover that she had fallen asleep.

He smiled, feeling warmth fill him. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. He leaned back, keeping her firmly in his embrace. It was not long before he joined her in sleep.

************************************

Mara was surprised to find herself entangled in Luke's embrace when she awoke.  She opened her eyes cautiously to look at him. His face was relaxed in sleep, a general aura of contentment surrounding him. Mara carefully extricated herself from his arms, feeling unusually reluctant to leave his embrace. Holding her breath she watched him as he stirred slightly before settling back into slumber.

Mara made her way to the enclosure located on the side of the cabin that housed the utilitarian 'fresher.  It was too small to contain a shower, but it had a functional sink and toilet – enough to freshen up and wash the sleep from her eyes. Mara moved efficiently, changing into a plain black jumpsuit that clung attractively to her figure. She washed up and brushed out her hair.  After a slight moment of indecision, Mara left her hair unbound to flow around her shoulders. 

She emerged to see that Skywalker was still sleeping.  He had driven for most of the previous day and had to be tired. She smiled and edged quietly to the front of the vehicle, starting the engine.  As she navigated down the narrow path, the sun was edging up in the sky and she saw from the navigation display that they had made good time the previous day. Hopefully they would do so again.

Mara had been driving for some time when she felt a flare of awareness the moment Luke awoke.  He disappeared in the 'fresher, but it wasn't long before he sat in the co-pilot's seat.

They were both aware that their relationship had undergone some sort of fundamental change.

"Hi."  He said quietly.  He passed her a flask. "Same as last night. It's caf and it's hot."

"Ration bars." Mara's mouth curved into a grin and threw him one.

"I quite like them," Luke muttered around a mouthful. "Reminds me of…"

"I don't want to know. Whatever it is, it has to be pretty horrible."

There was a tentativeness about them, a kind of shyness that hadn't been present just a few days previously.

Luke cleared his throat and Mara said, "We're about half way to the ruin… if the calculations on the navcomp are correct." He examined the navcomp readings and then let his eyes drift to Mara, inspecting her closely and paying particular notice to her unbound hair, "I like your hair like that." 

Mara raised a hand to the side of her head before dropping it and shrugged non-committally, "I didn't have time to braid it."

He reached out to touch a wayward lock of hair, examining the sheen in the growing daylight.  This action brought him closer to her, their bodies only inches apart.  Without conscious thought, Mara stopped the vehicle and turned to face him. She felt as if the very air was somehow electrically charged between them, her eyes riveted on Luke's face. He dropped the curl and brushed the side of her face with the back of his fingers.

"Mara?"

"Things have changed…" she said soberly.

"For the better?"

"I don't know. I'm not used to feeling so… uncertain."

He smiled hesitantly, and seemed to study her more closely. Then as if had making a decision, he bent his head and kissed her lightly on the lips. 

It was a brief, gentle kiss, but the impact on Mara was greater than from the passionate exchanges they had previously shared. It bespoke of a greater intimacy between them. Mara had felt desired by Skywalker, but this fleeting caress made her realize what it might mean to be loved by him.  It took her breath away.

He could feel her amazement and he raised an eyebrow at her in inquiry, "What is it?  Surely I couldn't have taken you that much by surprise."

Mara thought for a moment before she said, "It's not the kiss, it's. . . .me."  Mara flushed and turned away.  "Never mind."

Luke could not let a statement like that go.  "What do you mean?"

She realized that the vehicle was at a standstill.  Mara stood up and glowered down at him, but he could sense that there was no heat behind her glare.  "Do you always have to analyse everything, dissect it into so many little pieces?"

"I'm just trying to understand."  Luke said, standing up beside her. 

Mara rubbed her right temple with her fingers and said, "I know, Skywa… Luke," she corrected. "I am too. I'm sorry."  She lowered her hand and smiled tentatively at him.

He pulled her toward him, wrapping his arms around her.  She leaned against him, and they remained like that for a moment. This time she kissed him, her soft lips lingering on his.

They broke apart by mutual consent and Mara said, "I think we had better get going."

Luke seemed about to say something, and then nodded, "Right.  Let's go." 

Then she turned and stared at him her eyes wide and incredulous as if something had just occurred to her. "What do you mean you actually like ration bars?"

************************

The vehicle lumbered slowly along the overgrown trail. Earlier in the day they had made good progress, but over the last hour their journey had slowed to almost a crawl. It wasn't long before the path disappeared completely, swallowed up by the jungles of Yavin. A solid wall of tree branches and thick undergrowth barred their path. Mara stopped the vehicle and glared at the abundant greenery. The two Jedi gazed ahead, seeking an avenue around the dense foliage.

"How's your ankle?"  Luke asked wryly. "This baby is going no further." He patted the console affectionately.

Mara rolled her eyes. "It's transport, farmboy, not your niece."

Luke lifted his chin. "It never hurts to give your transport a kind word occasionally."

"Nerf!" she muttered. "I take it, we walk from here?"  Mara asked, her face showing exactly what she thought of Luke and his idiotic ways.

"If you're up for it."

"I'm fine." She raised her pant leg to expose her slim, lightly strapped ankle.  "See, good as new."

Luke flashed her a quick grin and said, "I have to agree, it looks pretty good to me. Keep the support on for now."

Mara remained silent, but smiled slightly. She wasn't used to this side of Luke, so openly appraising of her attributes.   He was so relaxed and almost happy as he awkwardly flirted with her. It was the 'almost' that was her undoing. She wanted him to be happy, damn it!

Mara did a quick reading to confirm their current vector while Luke gathered their supplies. They secured the vehicle and Luke held a branch out of her way as they manoeuvred their way back onto the trail. Although the winding path was too narrow for the ground vehicle, it was fairly comfortable to traverse on foot.

"Ready?"

"Let's go, Skywalker."

They settled into a leisurely pace, striding confidently side by side. They maintained an awareness of their surroundings, conscious of the predators in the area, but it demanded little of their attention, allowing them to converse freely.

"Can I ask you something?"  Mara inquired.

"Sure."  Luke peered at her curiously.

"Do you always escort the students to this ruin?"

Luke gave her an embarrassed smile, "I've been there before of course, but no, I'm not in the habit of bringing many students here."

"Then why did you with me?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Yes I think I do."

He shrugged, his head going to one side. "It's you," was all he said. "You're different."

"I'm still a Jedi student."

"Yes, but you're my Jedi student."

"I thought I was Corran's."

"You've never been Corran's," he mumbled and then turned his head to look at her, his face totally serious. "You've always been mine."

"I don't belong to you," Mara retorted, unnerved by the expression on his face.

"Of course you don't, just the same way I don't belong to you, Jade.

Mara swallowed. She did feel possessive over Luke. All the other women she'd seen him with hadn't been good enough for him.

"The Emperor may have started your training but he was never going to complete it. When we first met you transferred that bond to me."

"I did not," she said.

"Not consciously or willingly, no. But somehow it happened. You've never been ready to take that final step until now. Our bond is more powerful than the one between teacher and student, or even two Jedi friends. Our bond is growing stronger and I wasn't going to let anyone complete your training but me. This is not possessiveness or pride on my part. This is just how it is." He turned his head to stare at her. "You would never have finished your training with Corran. He taught you a lot and did it well, but you would never have felt complete. You would have come to me eventually."

"Sure," she said derisively.

"Oh, yes. But although I'm trying to assist you in your quest to become fully trained, our relationship is not exactly that of Master and apprentice."

"Are you sure?"  Mara asked him dubiously.

"You're a Jedi, Mara, well on your path to completion.  After we go to the ruins, if matters proceed the way that they should, you will no longer be my student."

"So you're saying that things could change after this trip between us?"

"I'm saying that we needed some time to be alone."

 "So this is all some scheme to seduce me?"

"I don't recall seducing you, yet."

The word, 'yet', hung in the air between them.

Mara moved quickly in front of him blocking his way. He had declared his intent and given her fair warning. It was up to her how she reacted to his challenge. "So you admit you have thought about it?" she asked.

Suddenly Luke's eyes gleamed like molten silver. "Thought about it, dreamed about it…. Oh, yes, Jade." He took a deep shuddering breath. "You could say that." His eyes travelled over her curvaceous black, clad form and his hands came up, almost unwillingly to grip her shoulders. "Do you have a problem with that?" he asked her, his voice low and husky.

Mara swallowed, her tongue darting out to wet her dry lips. Luke's eyes immediately fastened on the tell-tale nervous action and his head began to descend.

"Well… no, but Luke…" Mara managed before his mouth covered hers.

With a sigh she relaxed into his arms and his kiss. She felt so right. Luke pulled her closer imprinting the feel of her slender body against his own. Fire rippled through their bodies and attacked their senses, lost in a tide of sensuous desire they gathered each other even closer.

"Ow!" Mara jerked from his embrace and bent down to rub her ankle.

Luke took a gasping breath as the shock of her departure affected his body. "Your ankle?"

Mara nodded. "I just stepped back and…"

He knelt down beside her and expertly checked the offending limb. "It seems okay."

"You did say that it might be sore for a few days."

"So I did."

They stared at each other, faces flushed from their passion, mouths swollen with the evidence of their kisses. Mara was the first to look away. "We shouldn't have done that."

"I disagree," Luke said stoutly, trailing a finger down her cheek.

"You wanted to finish my training," Mara reminded him. "Is it ethical for you to be kissing me and also to be my …." She hesitated over the word.

Luke gave a bittersweet smile and filled in the word, but it wasn't the one she had been expecting. "Guide?"

"Guide," she echoed surprised.

Luke sighed. She was right but she had no idea how much he wanted her. This was a test for them both. "I suppose we had better get going - we haven't that far to go. We should arrive by sundown. He held out a hand and pulled her carefully to her feet watching attentively as she gingerly tested putting her weight on her ankle.

"Here," Luke pulled his saber from his belt, ignited it and cut a branch from one of the trees. "Use this."

"I don't need…"

"Mara!" Luke shook his head warningly. "Please, it would reassure me. You can have it just in case."

Pride warred with common sense. Finally she relaxed and gave a half laugh. "It's a good idea, Skywalker. Thank you."

Luke's face lit up as he smiled, the sight going straight to Mara's suddenly vulnerable heart. "Follow me," he said purposefully.

"Yes, oh great and worthy guide."

"Mara…"

"Yes?"

"Can it. Jedi trainees are not supposed to be cheeky to their… guides."

"You did say I was different."

"You're that all right."

Luke pulled his lightsaber from his belt and began to hack his way through the undergrowth. Mara grinned and pulled hers from her belt too. Slowly they made their way through the worst of the thicket.

"What is it with us and thorns, Skywalker?" Mara asked.

Luke chuckled. "History repeating itself. Myrkr, Wayland and now Yavin Four."

"At least you don't have the droid with you."

"You know something, Jade. It's not the same without having to drag Artoo."

"No, it's not and I, for one am thankful."

"Artoo is a superior droid. He has saved my skin on more than one occasion."

"I call it luck."

Luke shook his head. "Artoo has achieved, as much as any droid can achieve, something approaching true sentience – as has Threepio."

"That's just because you haven't bothered giving them a much needed mind wipe."

"I couldn't do that to the droids. They wouldn't like it."

Mara rolled her eyes. "And you want me to become more like you?"

Luke paused in his clearing of the undergrowth, his eyes clear and steady. "No, I want you to remain exactly as you are." He smiled. "I just want you to accept your abilities and truly open yourself to the Force. You are so close, Mara and it's what you deserve. The Emperor denied you this and he was wrong. I would never want to change you into someone sweet and simpering. I like you tough, sassy and argumentative."

"Thanks!" she muttered. "That was a compliment, I take it."

Luke laughed. "Of course it was. You can only be true to yourself, Jade. Don't be what you are not. I tried it and failed. I am a farmer, turned pilot, turned Jedi. I have no fancy airs, no matter how hard my sister would like me to have some. Then again – she prefers me this way too. She admitted it once."

Mara opened her mouth and couldn't find anything to say.

Luke seemed to understand because he nodded. "I know. Look ahead. Just through those trees is our destination."

Mara turned and stared in the direction Luke had pointed. Some rough broken stonework could be seen rising from the trees. "Is that…?"

"The Malignare ruins? Yes. I can't remember the last time someone was here. It's become quite wild." He held out his hand.

"I can manage," Mara said stiffly.

Luke smiled at her. "I know you can, but I'm still offering to help."

"Oh!" Mara seemed a little lost for a moment.

"It's no crime to accept a little help now and again. Your ankle will still be weak. There is an awkward step up just here. The ruins are built upon an outcropping of rock. It's just very difficult to see with all the vegetation underfoot. I would hate to see you aggravate that ankle. I feel responsible for it..."

Mara snorted. "Oh, okay. If it makes you feel better."

She gripped Luke's hand and was surprised how reassured and safe, just the simple contact of his hand on hers made her feel. He led her past broken towers until they reached one which was almost whole. It had lost its crowning battlement points centuries ago.

"The ruins were built in the shape of a five pointed star," Luke explained. "There were five towers, but only one remains. They contained living and cooking areas and of course look out points. The circular building in the centre must have been the main meeting place."

Mara stared at the inner building and shivered.

Luke touched her elbow and pointed to an open doorway in the last remaining tower. "We'll sleep in here tonight," Luke murmured quietly, already feeling the pull of long ago presences but he kept the lure of the past away from Mara. She would feel its full effect soon enough.

They entered the tower and found it to contain several chambers. The ceiling had collapsed in one or two but the third room they tried was habitable. Dying sunlight cast beams of light from the cracks in the ceiling illuminated dust particles disturbed by their passage. It was almost night.

"In here I think, is safe enough."

Mara agreed and they pulled a couple of survival blankets from their pack to spread across the ground. Luke found a couple of ration bars in his bag and he offered one to Mara. She made a face, but took it. "You sure do know how to wine and dine a girl," she said wryly.


Luke smiled and responded, "When we get back, I'll make it up to you."


Mara smiled as she opened the wrapper. "Now that, I would like to see. Where is the best restaurant on Yavin? I would like to see it. Followed by dancing of course. I do like to dance."


"I'll see what I can do. You would be surprised. Remember your eyes can deceive you." Luke hid a smile as he examined the room more out of curiosity than any real need. He had been here before but not for a few years. Nothing had really changed. Luke could sense the proximity of the dark side, but believed it to be too remote to disturb Mara. He glanced at her and saw the distracted expression on her face and wondered if he had miscalculated. Mara had strong links to the dark even if she hadn't been part of it. He had been naïve to assume she wouldn't feel its pull. She was too strong in the Force.


"What is it, Mara?" he said gently. "What can you sense?"


"Hmmmm?" her eyes focused on him vacantly, "Oh, nothing."

Luke wasn't so sure, but he let it past. There was nothing he could do now in any case. All he had to do was trust in the Force and hope that Mara did the same.

He made a show of yawning. "I don't know about you, Jade, but I am ready to get some sleep."

Mara nodded. "Good idea," she readied herself for bed and watched as Luke got into his sleeping bag. Within moments she heard his deep, even breathing. Force, Skywalker had gone out like a light. She had been tired and her ankle had ached but now that she was supposed to sleep she felt oddly awake.

'Mara!'

Something was calling her; she could feel it shining a light in her mind. She glanced resentfully at the huddled shape in the sleeping bag next to her. He was sound asleep. She would gain no help from that quarter. A sudden need to explore gripped her and grabbing her lightsaber, slipped from her bed and headed out into the dark night. As she left Luke opened his eyes and sat up. All he could do now was wait and hope.

Mara walked quietly through the darkened ruin, leaving Luke to sleep peacefully in their makeshift camp. There was something that beckoned to her, something she hadn't sensed for a long time. At first, she thought it was the Emperor. But she knew this was impossible. Still, there were ripples in the Force that resonated in the same manner that she had grown to associate with her former Master.


There was a darkness here and she found it impossible to resist seeking out its source. Although it repulsed her, she continued onward unabated drawn to its power. She wondered if she should return and wake Skywalker, but a voice whispered to her, reassuring her that she did not need the Jedi. She could face this alone. She had to face this alone. She was a Jedi and would do what was required. Part of her knew that this was something she had to face.


Her movements slowed and the very air around her became sluggish. A cold breeze slid over her body, surprising in the warm jungle night. She reached out with her senses, but felt as if everything were muffled. She touched the darkness and then moved past it. She was of the light. Luke had said so and she had to cling to that fact.

 
It was beyond her, it had not affected her. Perhaps she was immune to this dark side stain from her years of living in its shadow as the Emperor's Hand. Was this the reason they had travelled two days to come here, just to see that the darkness could not touch her? All these Jedi exercises suddenly felt so futile. The Emperor had taught her much, and she had already learned everything the Jedi at the Academy could teach her. Her skills were on a par with Corran's, Luke had said so and even the Jedi Master himself had little left to teach her. She realized, at that moment, that there really was no need for her to remain here on Yavin. She had accomplished everything she had set out to do. She stood staring around at the place she found herself in. The room was a perfect circle. Strange markings peppered the walls and Mara recognised them as belonging to the ancient language of the Sith. She could not read it but had seen it in books that the Emperor had owned. Luke must have known that these existed but he had said nothing about them. They were for me to discover. 'I was led here,' she thought.

 
Mara thought of the sleeping Jedi, a short distance away. Her heart contracted in a familiarly aching manner whenever she thought of Luke Skywalker. He was everything she could ever want in a man, and he had no need for her. She could never be a Jedi, not in the way that he wanted. Not in the way that she wanted to be either. She was in love with the idea of becoming a Jedi. To remain, would be to make less of them both. It was better if she left now, without another word. He might not understand, but in the end he would realize that she had made the correct decision. He would move on with his life. They could be friends, at a distance, but it was wrong to pursue anything more between them. The Jedi master and the Emperor's Hand were not fated to have a love affair. It would not be appropriate. In the end she could hurt the only man she could ever even envisage loving. To protect him and the Jedi she would have to go.


The decision made, Mara returned to the tower. Skywalker lay still as one dead, but she could hear his breathing. It was odd how he hadn't felt her unrest. He usually knew when something happened to her. Gathering up her gear, she bade him a silent farewell and slipped out of the ruin. She moved like an automaton, unfeelingly as she made her way through the Jungles of Yavin. Unaware of the passage of time, she moved past the Jedi at the Academy, oblivious to her passage. They seemed shadowy, vague figures, their presences only substance in the passage of time. They were nothing to her. She was above all of them. She had always been alone and would continue to be so. It wasn't long before she secured her ship and blasted off into space, leaving the planet behind. She could sense Luke's seeking mind, and she shielded herself from him, allowing him no contact with her. It would be better to allow him the time to adjust to her decision. In the end, he would see that she was right.


It was many days later when she received a recorded holo message from the Jedi Master. At first she wasn't sure if she should even listen to it, but she knew that she would have to eventually.  When she activated the recorder, a large shimmering figure of the Jedi Master appeared before her. Luke's eyes looked tired, his voice resigned. He sighed deeply and said, "I fought against your decision to leave, but I now know that you understood things better than even I ever realized. Be well, and may the Force be with you."

 
The holo winked out.


He was gone.

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