A Northern Raven Studios - The Rose Garden joint production
ALONDRA'S REQUIEM
16/08/2015
5:12 PM -Logging in new user-
Username: Alondra
Password: *********
Repeat Password: *********
Name: Irène C. Harey
Birthdate: 16/08/2001
Location: Nevada, U.S.A.
-User logged in-
5:14 PM -Opening Entry-
It's my birthday!
Something that only happens once a year. I cannot say if that's a good thing or what. For once, I've got presents, but my ears ache! However, I cannot complain. It's nice to feel loved, and I could get used to the attention I've received today.
But I am being incredible impolite! It's the first time that I have got a diary, so I don't know what I am supposed to write. Anyway, a little introduction seems something right. So I am Irène, I'm Canadian and I live in the middle of Nevada Desert, down in the States. And today it's my birthday!
I'm a bit excited, am I not? I'm happy. I've spent the day outside with Dad, and when we came back everybody greeted me. Now, to the presents, which are the most important thing when talking about one's birthday! I've got two new sundresses -one white, one yellow, and both very pretty- from Dad. If only I could go out more often to carry them... Dad has give me a clock, as well, and Svensson -my old teacher- has give me this diary. It's a very weird device, that looks like a bracelet. I'm supposed to carry it in my left forearm, and I write with a pen -which hasn't point- in a small plaque, and it changes from my horrible handwriting to a neat font in the small screen.
Five minutes with a diary and Dad is already trying to peek what I'm writing! But he's not going to achieve it. I'm going to eat more cake, now that Dad hasn't yet eaten all of it.
-Closing Entry-
7:55 PM -Opening Entry-
Since today was my birthday (and it's Saturday) I had no homework, and they haven't scheduled any sync test for today. I'm glad, one day without being near it is surely a good day. Even if I have to deal with a simulator, and even if I've done a lot of tests, I still have chills when I have to enter the plug. Perhaps it's the plugsuit, which is too much thin. I don't know, and I'd be more than happy if I never had to do tests again.
However, my own opinion isn't something that uses to be taken in account. I'm the pilot, and no one else can do it. I guess that this is all that matters.
It shouldn't.
-Closing Entry-
10:34 PM -Opening Entry-
Time to go to bed! I would want to stay a bit longer; after all, it's my birthday. But I have tomorrow a sync test, and if I'm tired the results might be worse, which would suposse a long, long speech from McDonald (*), something that I really don't want to pass through.
-Closing Entry-
(*) Alasdair McDonald (1978 - 2015): Head of the scientific department of the Second Branch. He was, with reserves, the equivalent of Ritsuko Akagi in NERV-USA. Responsible of the development of Eva04, Eva03 and a S2 syntethic engine. Maya Ibuki
11:15 PM -Opening Entry-
'...but the love he felt for her was too much for being put into words, so he simply nodded. And they went from there, holding hands.'
Awww! I've finished another novel. Dad says that they're so corny and so sugary that I'll die from a hiperglucemy one of this days. I don't care, though; they're so romantic... Anyway, tomorrow I'll go to the library and pick another.
I'm yawning. Time to go to sleep.
-Closing Entry-
17/08/2015.
4:04 PM -Opening entry-
I've finished another sync test. McDonald says that I'm doing it quite well, but I've seen the records of the other three children, there in Japan. I'm the third, with more o less the same results than the First Child, and far below the Second and Third. I've asked McDonald about why I don't have a number assigned. He had said that since I'm the only pilot in the complex, they don't need to give me one. When I be transferred to Japan, I'll become the Fourth Child. Or the Fifth, if the pilot of Unit Three is found before.
He said that I'm doing it well '...quite well, Irène. I'm satisfied with these results'. But I don't believe him. He isn't happy with my results. I can see it. But it's not my fault! I do my best. Really.
Dad couldn't come today, so I've lunched alone; but he has called me! And the next Saturday we're going to the cinema, and later dinner in a restaurant... All the day outside the Complex! It would be really nice. All the day without tests, or reports... Nothing. Isn't wonderful?
All the day far from it.
-Closing entry-
6:37 PM -Opening entry-
It's raining outside, probably for the first time in months. I am in one of the higher offices, one empty with windows. The rain falls tenderly for the crystal, almost kissing it. Kissing... I've never kissed anybody (except for Dad, of course, but he doesn't count, does he?). I wonder how I would feel, if a cute boy kissed me. I would be nervous, of course! And probably I wouldn't know how to return the kiss, but I can imagine him. He is kind and gentle, and very cute! His lips are soft and warm, and when he kiss me, I feel a tingle in my stomach...
Ah! I have to stop chasing butterflies. When all of this shall finish, we'll see. Until that, I'm trapped in the middle of nowhere. Maybe when I arrive to Japan. Will the Japanese boys kiss well?
-Closing entry-
9:55 PM -Opening entry-
I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I've been told that in three days we'll do the activation test. I'm scared, but I don't know what scares me more: that the test fail, and something happens to me, or that the test success, and I've to go to Japan. I've seen the battle's videos... The Angels are so terrible... Why have I to fight against them? I don't want to do it.
-Closing entry-
18/08/2015
8:35 AM -Opening entry-
I've had a rather curious dream. I was on a forest, sat down in a fallen tree. It was snowing, very, very softly. But I had no cold, although I was only wearing my white sundress... Strange, isn't it? Nothing happened in hours. I was simply sitting down, watching the snow fall. A peaceful and beautiful scene. Then I've awoke. I've slept very well, today, and I want to... Oh, my God! I'm late! Svensson is going to kill me!
-Closing entry-
9:05 AM -Opening entry-
I know that I should be listening Sven, but I hate Chemistry and he seem to be happy even if only the walls pay attention to him. I've have breakfast with Dad, and he asked me if I were nervous because of the test. I answered him that I'm not. I hate to lie him, but he has enough with his work.
I think Dad is proud of me for being a pilot, but I know that he didn't want me to become one, because I heard him discussing with McDonald once, both very angry. I don't know why, but Dad finally lost the discussion. I wonder what could had have him to convince my father. Maybe... I don't know, and I'm not sure that I'd want to know it. (*)
Ah! Sven is so boring, sometimes... But I should listen to him... No, I can't. Termochemistry is too much.
The time of the test is approaching. McDonald has told me that in a battle I'd be perfectly safe inside of the Entry Plug, but I don't believe him. I've watched the battle videos, and I'd swear that, when the Evangelion is hurt, the pilot is hurt. I've asked Doctor McDonald about that, but he said me something about 'residual feedback', which I haven't understood. And
-Closing entry-
(*) Albert Harey (1978 - 2015) was a low ranked technician. Close friend of Svensson, he started to work in NERV in 2006, after the death of his wife, Clarisse, in an experiment of Nerv-USA. It seems that McDonald was in position to ejerce pressure on him, to the point Albert let his daugther become a pilot. The nature of McDonald's blackmail is not very clear, but I've found in the MAGI central archives vague references that make me think that Irène's life was directly threathened, if he refused to let her enter the project. Maya Ibuki
1:45 PM -Opening entry-
Pah! Svensson hasn't wanted to give me back my diary until now. He is a moron. I'd wish he stopped calling me Clarisse. It may be my second name, but I prefer Irène, and he knows it, I'm sure.
I'm sat in front of it. They have finished of painting it, and now it's silver, with red marks on the chest and black stripes here and there. I'm a bit scared; nevertheless, I've to control it, haven't I? I don't believe that I can pilot such an enormous thing. I mean, who had the brilliant idea of give a expensive battle android to a fourteen years old girl?
Dad is working on its chest, I can see him from here. I'm going to lunch with him, and later, more sync tests.
Ah! I'd wish to be more valiant. I'm scared, if I could I'd run away. But I cannot. I promised to do it, and I'll do it. Besides, if I refuse, Dad might have problems and I don't want him to be concerned. Since Mum died, I feel that he has grown old, and he always seems to be tired. I'm worried for him, so I'll try to look like if I wasn't worried. But... Ah! Dad is calling me!
-Closing entry-
2:56 PM -Opening entry-
Ah! I'm so full... I think I've eaten too much, but I really love fetuccini... Dad and Svensson are talking, now, in the table, about the test of tomorrow. Technical stuff, uninteresting...
Now I'm eating an orange. Dad has told me that a sync test is scheduled at 5:00 PM, so I have two or three spare hours before. I think I'll go to the library. I want to return the novel I was reading, and pick up another, maybe another romantic story...
In two months I'll be to Japan. Dad has assured me that he'd come with me, because he is supposed to keep working in Unit Four . I was worried that he couldn't come with me. I guess I must do a intensive Japanese class, since I only can say 'Arigato'. I'm told that I'll go to a normal school, with the other Children, and I'll live in Tokyo with Dad. It would be really wonderful! I'm tired of being here. There is nobody to talk with, and the nearest city is a hundred kilometres far from me. But the Saturday we'll go to the city, and I'll spend all the day shopping! I'd wish to buy some dresses, but for what purpose? I don't think that McDonald be planning to celebrate a prom! And even if he would, I have nobody to go with. The nearest boy is also a hundred kilometres far from me. Here I am, fourteen years old and with nodoby to talk.
-Closing entry-
19:17 PM -Opening entry-
Pah! I've tested the Entry Plug of Unit Four . I knew that it would be filled with LCL, but I cannot get used to it. It stinks! It smells almost like blood, and it's orange. Now I have my hair orange, instead of blonde. I think I could kill a horse with my stench. I'm going to take a shower.
-Closing entry-
19:45 PM -Opening entry-
Ah! Much better now. I think that the horse only would feel sick. The test has been positive, or so I've been told. It seems that the Plug works, although it wasn't yet connected to Unit Four .I had to perform, too, a sync test, but the results were lower than yesterday. Nevertheless, nobody has seemed dissapointed for it. I think that everybody is caring more for the S2 device than for Unit Four itself. 'We've built four, before. It's almost routine, Irène.'
I'm going to have dinner in a while. I have to ask Sven if the LCL can damage the diary. I'd wish to keep it with me, during the test, because it can endure several hours, and most of the time I won't have nothing to do, except to dry my hair in the LCL.
-Closing entry-
22:32 PM -Opening entry-
McDonald came today to dinner with Sven, Dad and me. I don't know why, if he knows perfectly that Dad doesn't like him. Neither Svensson. I think that, hadn't myself been in the table, they wouldn't have been so polite. However, that man looks angry even when he tries to be nice. But it's merely that, an attempt. He couldn't look frienly even his life depended on that.
I guess that I must go to sleep, because tomorrow is the test, and it will be a long day.
-Closing entry-
19/08/2015
2:35 AM -Opening entry-
Ah! I can't sleep; I'm scared... I've had a nightmare; Unit Four lost control during the test, and ran out of the Complex. I was screaming, and although I was telling it to stop, it didn't. Then I've awoke, sweating.
I don't want to do the test. I feel that something will go wrong, and it will be my fault. I'd want to be anywhere else, with Dad, but here.
I miss Mom.
-Closing entry-
10:38 AM -Opening entry-
Yawns, yawns... Since today is the test I haven't lessons with Svensson, so Dad has let me sleep a little more. He has gone to work early, I am alone in the quarter. Dad has slept here, in the couch, although is very uncomfortable. He said that I had screamed before, because of the nightmare. It's a bit silly, but when Dad calls me 'My little, sweet Alondra', I feel a relief that I cannot explain. I'm glad he slept here: I felt safer; and I've had no more nightmares this night. Strange, isn't it?
Instead of that, the nice dream of yesterday came back. Ah! The snow was beautiful. I'd wish that snowed here, but we're in the middle of a desert...
I'm lying in the bed, with nothing to do until half past eleven. Then I have to visit the infirmary to do some medical checks. Probably I'll try to sleep a little more; the room is warm, and also my bed... Somehow, Dad's presence seems to have calmed down myself. I am not longer scared, I don't know why. Ah! I forgot to write it yesterday. Sven had said me that I can carry the diary attached above the plugsuit. It seems that the LCL doesn't affect the electronic devices, but I'm afraid that it may stink after the test! I'm glad that she let me carry it. I guess that I'm getting used to its weight in my arm.
Ah! More yawns... I'll try to sleep as long as I may.
-Closing entry-
13:55 PM -Opening entry-
Pah! What a shame! I slept too much and a soldier had to come here to pick up me. And all for nothing. I'm as healthy as an apple. I secretly wished that they find something that didn't let me to do the activation test... But I guess that it's better in this way. I cannot deny that I'm glad to be healthy.
I've eaten with Dad. He is worried, altough he tried to hide it. I don't like to see him worried, and even less if it's my fault. The test is scheduled in half an hour, so I should go to put on my plugsuit.
-Closing entry-
2:17 PM -Opening entry-
Ah! Sven has been very kind. The plugsuit has now a little modification in the left arm, allowing the diary to fit into it. Isn't it nice? Nevertheless, I guess that it's easy when you only have to order somebody to do it. I've to ask him who did the modification and thank him personally. It's the less I can do.
I'm looking myself in the changing room's mirror. I feel somewhat strange, with this new plugsuit. It's all white, except for the forearms, the shoulders and the waist, which are dark yellow. It fits my body perfectly, making me feel embarrased. After all, I'm naked under this thin fabric! I cannot help but blush when somebody looks at me with this vest.
At half past two will start the activation test. I'm nervous, but no longer scared. Actually, it scares me more the fact that I've lost the A10 connectors, and McDonald will be probably displeased. That man is scary when he is angry. He always talks to me like if I was a dissapointment, almost groaning.
I'd wish to be able to see Dad before the test starts, but he will be busy with his section. After we ate, he gave me a tight hug, very tight, and I'd swear that he was almost crying. I'd wish we could live like a normal family.
-Closing entry-
2:27 PM -Opening entry-
Pah! I had reason! Doctor McDonald turned angry when I told him that I had lost my A10 connectors. 'What do you think you're playing? This is not a child game!'. A technician has given me another pair, and I've disappeared of his sight as fast as I've could. Now I'm sit in front of the Entry Plug, waiting for the start signal. I think I can see Dad from here, but I'm not sure if he's him or not.
I can see Eva's neck from here. It's uncovered, and the hole where is inserted the Plug is now exposed. It's childish, I know, but I don't want to enter there. A lot of cables are hanging for all over the unit. Especially in the chest, where I'm told that resides the S2 device. I think that this is the first unit with it, and because of that everybody is nervous.
Ah! It's the time!
-Closing entry-
3:07 PM -Opening entry-
Ah! I feel relieved, now. I was scared for nothing! I'm inside of Unit Four , and we've done the activation test. Nothing went wrong. I've syncronized with Unit Four without problems, and I can control it. It's strange. I feel its force in my arms, almost like if I was a goddess of war. I feel a relief that I cannot explain: during all this three years, I believed that I wouldn't be able to pilot it, although McDonald said that I had the requirements to do it. He had reason, after all.
It was Dad, down there! Now I can see him with the long range cameras. He is looking at the head of Unit Four, to me; he looked less worried, now. I'm glad.
Now they're going to test the S2 engine. The activation test was done with the external power source, just in case. I don't have to do nothing, because they'll control the switch. And...
Bah, McDonald is telling me to stop writing and concentrate.
-Closing entry-
3:23 PM -Opening entry-
Ah! Something has happened! (*) The walls of the Plug are not longer showing the outside, and I receive no response in the comlink. The radar, which was picking up the signals of the walls of the test room, is now black.
It's like I had lost the syncronization with Unit Four ... But no, because I feel it exactly like before. Following the emergency protocol, I've switched on the emergency life support system, which, using the internal batteries, should restrain for twelve hours. I swear, if they keep me here for so long, I'll melt into the LCL. Probably they'll recover the Plug in a few minutes.
It's strange. I'm suddenly sleepy. I think I'll try to sleep a little, until the plug be recovered.
-Closing entry-
(*) The S2 device was activated at full power at 3:15 PM. Since that moment, the Second Branch of NERV disappeared from the surface of Earth. Maya Ibuki
5:29 PM -Opening entry-
Ah! I'm scared! I've slept for two hours, and I'm still here. I don't know why they haven't recovered yet the plug. I cannot eject it either, and the comlink only gives me snow.
I'd had a very strange dream. I was sat in the fallen tree of my dreams, and it was still snowing. But this time I wasn't alone. Sat down in front of me was a girl. She had her blonde hair arranged in ponytails, and green eyes, like me. It took me a while realize that it was me!
She (or me) started to ask me things. 'Why did you pilot Unit Four ?' . I don't know why, but I had to answer her. I told her that I did it to avoid problems to Dad, and she kept asking me other things.
I'm very sleepy, again, but I don't want to sleep another time. I'm scared that she -myself mirrored- might return. I think that the Evangelion tries to read my mind when I'm sleeping. It's alive, why nodoby told me that it was alive?
It's trying to find who I am. I can felt its mind. It's jealous, I don't know how to explain it, but I know it. It's jealous for not have been chosen. I cannot understand it. I don't want to understand it.
I am so tired. I miss Dad. I hope he may come soon to rescue me.
-Closing entry-
8:39 PM -Opening entry-
I've dreamt again the same dream. She keeps asking me about why I pilot the Eva, and about why I act as I act.
Ah! I'm starting to think that something happened outside. I hope Dad is safe! I'm shivering. The Entry Plug is frozen, and the LCL is becoming muddy. I guess that the filter is failing.
The Evangelion is now scared, too. I feel its fear, and its wrath. It's furious because I don't know what to do, and it's angry with me. But I don't know what can I do, and I'm too much tired to think. I'm writing only to keep me busy. I don't know... Time passes in a strange way. Sometimes, when I look at the clock, only a few seconds has passed, and other times, more than an hour. I guess that it's me, because the clock seems to be right.
-Closing entry-
9:48 PM -Opening entry-
I knew that the test room was too small to let Unit Four extend its arm completely, but when I've tried to do it, I didn't find oposition. I've lost three hours of the life support autonomy moving Unit Four , but I guess that it doesn't mind. Nobody will come to help me. I don't know where I am, but I'm sure that Unit Four isn't longer in the Complex.
Unit Four has stopped bothering me, I think that it's tired, too. But I keep feeling somebody else in the Plug. I don't know when, but I have met her before.
I dreamt with Mother. She was holding me like if I were a baby, and Dad was there, hugging her. Mum was humming a lullaby, and I was in peace. I miss her. Since she died, Dad has felt alone. I don't blame him.
Ah! Breathing is becoming more difficult, because the LCL is very muddy, now. I'm gasping. I know that I'm going to die here, but it doesn't bother me. Strange, isn't it? I guess that I'm too much tired to bother for it.
I'd wish, if only...
-Closing entry-
10:17 PM -Opening entry-
I can't breath...
-Closing entry-
-Editor's Notes-
The destruction of the Second Branch of NERV, located in Nevada (USA) was probably one of the darkest episodes of the war, for two reasons. First of all, 5.457 people were in the complex or in the surrounding area at the moment of the incident. All of them have been declarated MIA. But also because the events that leaded to the disappearance of the entire Cathedral Complex (the inner core of the base) never have been totally clarified. And perhaps they never be.
We know as certain, that the incident happened at the same time that the activation test of the Evangelion Unit 04 was scheduled. That unit was the first Evangelion with an original S2 manmade engine. The S2 -Super Solenoid- engine could be described in a easy way like an antimatter generator, a device able to generate a virtually unlimited amount of energy thanks to a chain of antimatter-matter reactions. Of course, since the engine uses dimensional warps to get the antimatter, there are inherent risks over all the process, and a minimal failure in the design or the procedures could lead to a disaster similar to Nevada Incident. Notwithstanding, we've made huge advances understanding how a S2 engine works, hence its use over all the world.
"The activation of the Super Solenoid Device caused a rift in the space/time continuum, warping the surrounding space into a quantum state, known as Dirac's Sea, in which Heisenberg uncertainty effect increases exponentially, as predicted in Katsuragi's Law. In other words, the Cathedral Complex jumped to another dimension." (taken from 'Quantum consecuences of the Super Solenoid Theory' by Alice Linde)
It's a known fact that, employing a modified S2 device, the SSIC achieved to warp back the vanished facilities. Sadly, due to a still not fully explained side effect, all the organic compounds are yet vanished. This means that all the personnel is still missing, together with Evangelion Unit 04 and all the MAGI records (for a MAGI computer, as it's widely known, is based in a synthetic brain). Therefore we have no evidences of what happened in the day that the Second Branch of Nerv disappeared of the surface of Earth, except for one thing. Among the non-organic remains of Unit Four we found the e-Diary of the pilot of the Evangelion Unit 04, Irène Harey, a small computer which Irène wore attached to her left forearm.
Probably I am the only member of the former Nerv's staff that met Irène. The rest of people officially related to her died in the incident or in the JSSDF's assault to New Tokyo, including her father, Albert Harey. I met her during a travel to Nevada in 2014, as the assistant of Ritsuko Akagi (head scientist of NERV-Japan), to check the status of Unit Four . I remember her as a kind and caring, but somewhat shy girl. During the month I stood in Nevada, I talked to her a lot of times but I never did a real effort to know her; it didn't seem important at that moment. I've got enough time to regret since the end of the war. Notwithstanding, I have been asked to edit her diaries, so I've done it.
Irène was right. She was still syncronized with Unit Four, even during the time she was sleeping. Because of that, the AT Field she was generating protected her until she went dismayed due to a lack of oxygen into the Plug. We don't know what happened once the AT Field vanished.
I hope that she may be now in a better place.
Maya Ibuki. (Former NERV Lieutenant. Researcher for the Super Solenoid International Consortium)
SSIC Facilities in Brussels, Belgium
27/05/2031
Author's Notes
This fic had been published already a few months ago, under the title 'Diaries of the Lost Child'. After adding some more scenes, edit some more and a general revision, I've posted this new version. I hope you liked it.
I'd like to thank the people of 'The Rose Garden' -an usergroup of evafics.org- for having read and reviewed this fic. If you want to comment me anything, my e-mail is chobits@hotpop. The surname of Irène -Harey- is taken from Stanislav Lem's 'Solaris'. The name has something that captived my eye when reading the novel.
Finally, this fic is dedicated to Sal, whose sweet, kindhearted character inspired Iréne. Thank you, darling! ^_^
See you!
Athos
