Episode Twenty One

Part One

            Which was a good thing, because Gwen wasn't sure she could handle it at the moment. She was feeling sort of empty with no more feelings to share. Graves felt the distance, but didn't push it. He understood she was under a lot of stress. Even the antics of Chris and Gabrielle were not enough to cheer her up again.

            She hated being this way but she was so deep within the mires of despondence that she couldn't get back out so easily. Her mother had really thrown her for a loop this time. In the college world she would have escaped her woes inside a box of chocolate and some mellow music. But chocolate only got her fat and the kind of music she really wanted to hear needed a CD player (and electronics didn't work properly on Hogwarts grounds).

            She needed to find something else to concentrate on since there wasn't really anything she could do for her mother. Her inspiration came from Professor McGonagall one chilly afternoon in Transfiguration. Her godmother was turning a desk into a Great Dane when Gwen suddenly remembered the older woman's uncommon talent. She was an animagus and could transform herself into a cat at will.

            Awestruck Gwen found her new project. It would come in really handy one day, she was sure and it would take her until the next fall term to get it down. Or so she thought. Gwen had really underestimated herself. But without knowing she was quickly on her way to discovering a new talent she began her research in the library.

            When she'd looked through all the books about the subject in the non-restricted section she pitched the idea to McGonagall and asked for a note so that she could look at books in the restricted section.

            "An animagus?" She asked.

            "Yes." Gwen said, her confidence charging ahead. "I need something to do. I've been working really hard and I'm so far ahead on all my studies that I could tutor the rest of the students for the end of term exams already."

            Minerva smiled fondly at her. "If you're so determined, I don't think reading about it would hurt. But don't you dare try anything without letting me know first. I can help you in that department."

            Gwen nearly jumped for joy as McGonagall wrote out the note for her. The very next day she checked out every book she could on animagi and read until her eyes were so heavy they closed without her permission.

Part Two

            A strange dream pursued her tired brain. She was running again, running faster and faster away from a giant hand that was stretching across the Hogwarts grounds trying to grab her and strangle her. It was so close and the fear was rising in her chest. A fingertip glided across her ankle and she screamed. One more burst of speed and she would be free and clear in the Forbidden Forest.

            It was strange that the one place that was forbidden to the students was the one place that Gwen really felt safe. She ran harder as the lactic acid burned through her veins. Her muscles were screaming but she kept pounding her little legs as fast as she could. Her arms were swinging like hammers; her hair was rippling free in the wind.

            And suddenly she was flying. She wasn't sure how it had happened or what prompted the change, but she was rising higher soaring above the dark hand which was struggling to reach her from it's earthbound position. Her heart was beating so fast, her breathing was so heavy that she hardly noticed how light she was and how easy it had been to escape into the air.

            She noticed however that she wasn't on a broom. Her arms were not her arms. Her legs were not her legs. She had wings. Her feet had shrunk and now had bird-like talons. She had a tail full of feathers and a dull black beak protruding where her nose and mouth ought to be.

            Gwen had turned into a swan.

Part Three

            When Gwen awoke she felt the most refreshed she ever had. She grinned at the wane light pouring in through the windows of the common room and the light drizzle of late March rain pattering softly. How long she had been sleeping she wasn't entirely certain but she remembered every second of her dream.

            She was certain that if she attempted any changes in her physical form that she would become a gorgeous white Trumpeter swan with a dark black beak and soft yellow eyes. Gwen changed quickly in the dorms and ambled down to McGonagall's office. She sat outside waiting for her godmother to come down and start the day.

            "Why Guenivere?" She said as she nearly tripped over her. "What are you doing up so early?"

            "I thought we could try a little practice run today."

            "I thoroughly doubt you're ready for that advanced sort of magic yet."

            "I read all night Aunt Minerva and I had a dream. My dreams are usually pretty accurate premonitions."

            McGonagall snorted. "Divination is the most ridiculous branch of magic." She said, slowly trailing out at the resolute look on Gwen's face. "If you're that determined then we'll practice, but it's too early yet. Come meet me after your classes are finished."

            Gwen couldn't wait for the day to end.

Part Four

            Her stomach had been doing little flip-flops all day. This was the sort of thing she felt born for. Real magic, advanced and as difficult as it could be. Gwen was confident in her ability to became a full-fledged animagus. She simply needed to want it more than anything she'd ever wanted. Like the college Gwen had said in her dream: if you want it bad enough, you'll find that it's real.

            And she wanted this more than anything so far. It was the one thing she was certain about in her life, the one thing she could concentrate on and practice until it was perfect. Everything else was up in the air and she was just waiting for it to come crashing down.

            She sighed impatiently, trying to clear her mind of any negative thoughts. It wouldn't help her to be so worked up when she needed to concentrate solely on the task ahead. Finally the end of the school day arrived and Gwen rushed down to McGonagall's office all in a fluster.

            "I think," the girl said timidly, "I think that I might become a swan."

Minerva smiled knowingly. She had been equally nervous before her first attempt at becoming an animagus. Why it seemed only yesterday that she felt her frame shrink down into a tiny ball of fur. With practice she became more cat-like, better able to navigate as a feline. She was pleased at Gwen's eagerness and willingness to learn.

            They took the entire afternoon just practicing simple breathing and meditation to get her prepared. And then finally McGonagall told her to do it. "Just concentrate on the form you see in your head. Feel it as if it was a part of you and make it so." She became quiet, patiently waiting. She didn't expect much from Gwen on her first try.

            She was surprised when the girl closed her eyes, let her head drop just a bit and slowly began to alter. Her skin became bright white and then she was coated with pristine feathers. Her neck became long, her face thinned out to a dull, black beak. She was standing on two orangey webbed feet. There was a tiny patch of darker feathers in the shape of a star on her breast. Gwen had indeed become the swan she had spoken of.

            McGonagall knew of her talent, her ability as a quick-study student. But she had never seen a sixth year accomplish what Gwen had in just a few short weeks.