Chapter Six - Hey, Don't Let It Go To Waste
Will I find a believer
Another one who believes
Another one to deceive
Over and over down on my knees
If I get any closer
And if you open up wide
And if you let me inside
On and on I've got nothing to hide
On and on I've got nothing to hide
"All My Life," Foo Fighters
[Syd's POV] - Saturday Morning
Yeah, you'll definitely never guess who's lying beside me right now. Never in a million years. Okay, maybe you will seeing that I've been in Stuckeyville for what? One night? And knowing me, I don't intend to be branded as the town's new whore...
It's Vaughn.
I know, it was kind of a shocker to me at first, too. Waking up beside the one man you've dreamed about doing wildly amazing things to kind of makes a girl think she hasn't quite woken up yet, right? I think I'm still in shock -- no I'm definitely still in shock. Especially seeing that I've been holding my breath for I don't know how long, afraid that he'll wake up. Or even worse -- that I'll wake up.
I've been desperately wracking my brain trying to figure out how I got myself into this wonderful predicament. But all I seem to remember is being tired...
Really tired
...I think I fell asleep in the car. But how did I get out then? Because I certainly don't remember being woken up and told to come inside...
Wait, I think he carried me in...How sweet of him!
Oh man, Sydney, don't let the giddy prepubescent girl within get out. Keep her restrained, for the love of God, keep her restrained!
He definately carried me in. That smell...I distinctly remember that smell. The faint whiff of aftershave and cologne, but mainly that natural scent he seems to pull off so well. It's not normal for a man to naturally smell as good as he does, seriously.
And then he brought me here. He was going to leave but I asked him to stay...
I suddenly start giggling as I remember telling him that I've always seen him as a boxer kinda guy.
What is this?! Sydney Bristow does not giggle...
Crap. He's moving. Damn it! It's the first time since I was like 15 when the giggles have felt the urge to surface. Why now?! Why here?!
Please don't wake up, please don't wake up...
He's turning...
And yeah, I'm pretty sure I've died and gone to heaven.
As he turns, he wraps his arm around me, as if he's done it everynight for the past ten years. It feels so natural, so right...
I feel his steady breathing tickle my neck and I have the urge to let my muscles retract and succumb into a fit of hysterical laughter. Yeah, you probably think I'm high, and I'm starting to think the same thing. But whatever, I may be a double agent, but that doesn't mean I can't be ticklish...
It takes all the power in my body to supress the giggles, once again. But alas, I have come out victorious.
Syd: 1, Giggles: 0.
Feeling pretty proud of my willpower, I turn my head to the side and let my eyes linger over his face. He really is amazing. I know I've thought it a million times over, but he really is. Even in all his sleepy glory. And he has just a hint of a stubble growing on his absolutely perfect face. I try to drag my eyes away from his flawless form, knowing full well that I don't want to be caught gawking at him first thing in the morning. Now that would be more than just creepy. Especially seeing that this look of utter stupidity doesn't seem like it wants to leave.
Oh God, he's waking up.
Turn away, Syd! Turn away!
But I can't. He's just too incredibly adorable first thing in the morning. His face scrunches up as he yawns sleepily.
Is it possible to want to f--- a guys hair? Because I would so do Vaughn's hair. And him for that matter, but thats another matter. His hair is pointing in every direction in the perfect degree of messiness. He is absolute perfection.
I fight the urge to reach out and touch his face. To run my fingers along is defined jaw...Instead, I find a big grin growing on my face as his eyes slowly open and adjust to the room, then meet with mine.
"Hey," I say softly as our incredible closeness becomes ever apparent. I feel the arm he has slung across me stir and my face suddenly heats up as his index finger traces the edge of my face, down to my chin, ever so lightly.
"Hey, you," he replies, barely above a whisper.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've turned into a pile of goop on the floor. I look away with a shy smile as my face reddens. He chuckles softly, then starts to yawn as he raises his arms above his head to stretch.
Immediately, I miss the feeling of his arm wrapped around my body.
"What time is it?" He asks, slowly sitting up in bed.
I turn to my right and reach toward the alarm clock and bring it closer to me.
"Ten," I say, burying my head back into my pillow. This is definately a dream and I don't plan on leaving this bed til I get some of him.
Again, he laughs. He has a beautiful laugh...Authentic and exquisite. If I could make a CD with eighty straight minutes of it, I'd be more than one happy camper. I'd be a happy camper with a restraining order against me on the grounds of sheer and utter creepiness.
I feel him toss a pillow on my head as he stands up. I pull the pillow away, laughing at his playful gesture. He walks toward his bag and pulls out a shaving kit, with a smile.
"I call the bathroom," he says simply. It's funny how even the smallest, most meaningless comments can have the biggest impact.
I'm pretty sure my "normal" life has began. And I'm loving every second of it.
"Not if I get there first!" I reply with a devilish grin before I bolt out the door with Vaughn right on my heels.
~~~
"Okay, so this is our first real venture out into Stuckeyville. Our lives as Stuckeyvillians offically begin today." He says as we walk down the street of this gorgeous town.
"That it does," I reply, soaking in the beautiful natural surroundings.
"And your cover?"
"Sydney Hanton, substitute teacher at Stuckeyville High. I'll be taking Mrs. Smith's Honors English Lit class while she's on maternity leave and I'm originally from Los Angeles, California."
"Excellent," he says smiling as he holds the door to the bakery open for me. "So, you excited to finally put your years of grad school to the test?"
"Actually, I don't know," I reply somewhat sadly. I can't help but feel a little angry when it comes to my dream of becoming a teacher. "All my life, I always wanted to become a teacher. I knew no matter what, that's what I wanted to do. Now I'm not so sure."
He stops in his tracks and turns to me.
"What?" He looks shocked. And pretty disappointed.
"Can you blame me? I mean, I had built up this image of my mother in my mind, and all I wanted until a few months ago, was to be that. To be her. Now..."
I pause and laugh bitterly, making my way towards the line.
"Syd, listen to me. Yeah, the memory of your mother may have been what inspired you to go in this direction, but it most definitely wasn't what made you do it. You are, and always have been, in charge of you life. You set your own path and I don't see why that should change now. Regardless of what has happened."
I can't help but smile.
"Well, Mr. Saunders, you certainly have a point. But twenty seventeen and eighteen year olds?"
He's laughing again. I have offically formed an unhealthy fatuation with that sound.
"Good Luck," he says, grinning. He turns to look at me, then shakes his head in disbelief.
"What?" I ask.
"It's just that...Nothing." He trails off and looks at his feet, embarassed.
"Come on," I say, tugging his sleeve slightly.
He looks down at my hand on his arm and raises as eyebrow at me. I hope I'm able to hide the look of utter shock mixed with 'Let's Get It On' off my face. I think I do a pretty good job. I smile and roll my eyes as we take a step forward in line.
"What? Is the 'No Touching' rule still in effect?" I have no clue how I get this flirty. I don't consider myself a flirt, and actually pride myself on my lack of flirtiness. But it's just too damn fun with him.
"No," He responds immediatly, his hand brushing mine at our sides. Hmm, quick response -- good sign. "It's just takes a little time to adjust."
As he finishes, he entwines his fingers with mine, looking intently at the menu all the while. What a tease.
God, I just want to hug him. And kiss him. And like have like a million of his, like, babies.
Sorry, I had to get that out. You know how it is.
What the Hell...I'm here, he's here. He's pretty much opened himself up to me, and we all know that I've waited for this moment longer than anyone should have to. I'm in a new life, in a new town where I can partake in public displays of affection with the man that I truly and deeply love, without having to worry about risking our lives. I have a chance to start all over again, and I'm definately going to take advantage of it.
After finally working up the courage, I let my free hand run over the back of his.
Yeah, that was definately more than a spark. That was a freakin' forest fire. I would look to see his reaction but I'm too fascinated with our entangled fingers. I've known this man for two years and I haven't even held his hand. Yeah, we may not have been a couple in the literal hugging, kissing, sex having, and seeing each other in public sense, but to tell you the truth, a part of me has always seen him as my boyfriend...
Wow, I have no clue what drugs I'm hopped up on, but it is certainly some crazy sh-t.
"Hey," I feel him nudge me slightly then motion to the coffee guy.
"Oh!" I reply, embarrassed for spacing out. "Tall Mocha, please."
"What were you thinking about?" Michael whispers in my ear as he pulls out some dollar bills from his wallet.
"You," I whisper back.
Ha, I bet he didn't expect that one.
~~~
[Carol's POV]
"So what do you think of Sydney and Michael?" Molly asks excitedly, leaning over the table closer to me.
And I don't blame her for being excited. This is the biggest thing to come to Stuckeyville since sliced bread. Wait, come to think of it, sliced bread is actually a pretty recent luxury for us.
"They're sweet," I reply nonchalantly. And they really are. Okay they are absolutely adorable and incredibly gorgous...They are two of the best looking people I've ever seen in my life. If everyone in LA looks like that, I'm catching the next flight over and never coming back.
"Yeah, it's hard to believe that they do what they do...ya know?"
Yeah, I know. Kind of like how it's hard to believe that Ed did what he did without telling us? How he lived a lie for all these years?
"But You want to know what I want to find out about?" Is Molly still talking?
"What?" I reply, trying to sound tired of the subject.
"What the deal is with the two of them...There's obviously something between them. I wonder if they had some sort of illicit covert affair. Where they had to hide it from everyone, including their friends, because if they were caught, they'd be fired. Or worse -- killed." Molly is so incredibly overly dramatic. I restrain my violent laughter...or maybe not...
"What?" She asks, still smiling.
"Molly, that kind of stuff doesn't happen in the real world." I say shaking my head.
But then again, you never know. Ed was practically a CIA agent, his father was a CIA agent...And we never ever knew about it. Things aren't always as they seem.
I don't quite understand why I'm so upset at him. It's not like I was really friends with him in high school, which means that Molly and Mike should probably be more mad than I am. But I can't help but wonder...Would he have told me about it if we actually became a couple?
What am I talking about? It's Ed.
Ed.
The last guy in the world I want to be with. He's just too dopey and childish and cute and sweet and caring and smart and...
He knows all of my insecurities and doesn't want any part of it anymore.
Oh yeah, I forgot that part.
"Are you saying you don't think there's something going on between those two?"
"How am I supposed to know? Molls, these guys have been here for less than a day and we're already gossiping about them. Let's wait for a day or two...atleast."
It's the truth! It really is sick how this town jumps all over the latest thing to hit it. In this case, Sydney is adorable. She's sweet, she's smart and I really like her. I can definately see me and her bonding over her time here. But there definitely is no denying her sketchy relationship with that "handler" of hers...
Michael is hot. No, 'hot' doesn't adaquately convey how incredibly good looking that man is.
All I know is that there's no way I could even pretend to flirt with him, because she'd so kick my ass. I swear I heard Sydney growl yesterday when Michael introduced himself to me. And I was just making conversation!
Basically, the best looking man to come to Stuckeyville, who is clearly intellectually superior than all the men in this town combined, is off limits.
How uncool.
"I guess you're right...But did you not feel the sexual tension?!" Molly is in utter disbelief. "You could cut through it with a saw. It was insane!"
I roll my eyes and sigh. This really is getting old fast.
"Come on, Molls," I say, trying to fake sincerity. "Let's just leave them alone. If they want us to know what's going on with them, they'll tell us."
"Sydney's so sweet though. We'll have to bring her under our wing. Then milk all the information about her hot as hell handler out of her."
I fake smile at Molly, but she's too caught up in her own daydreams about who she saw as her "dream couple," so she doesn't really notice my change in emotion. I don't really know why I'm so angry right now. I usually love gossiping about people, no matter what. But in this case...They are just so clearly in love with each other...or maybe just lusting, I don't know. But that's beside the point. This might sound really concieted, but if I can't have the love of my life, no one else should either.
Yeah, that actually sounds really self centered, but hey, it's true.
Now that I think of it, I'm not quite sure I'll ever have a love of my life. He was pretty much right under my nose for the past three years. He showed up to Stuckeyville dressed in armor for Godssakes. And I refused my chance at a fairytale romance with my knight in shining armor because of my own stupid cowardice. And now I'm alone and he doesn't want to be with me ever.
Maybe thats exaggerating...
No, definately not.
"Well then, what about Michael? All I have to say is 'bow-chicka-bow-wow',"
She's nudging me with her elbow and I swear my coffee almost comes out of my nose.
"Yeah, I think that sums him up pretty well," I reply taking a napkin and wiping the coffee off my face.
All I know is that these next few weeks are going to be very, very interesting.
~~~
[Syd's POV] - Saturday Evening
Do you ever just sit back and wonder how the Hell you got to be so lucky? How you could be living a life of lies and deciet and danger and hatred where you can't even admit to loving someone because you're afriad it would get you both killed, to a life of even more lies...but truthful lies. Doesn't make sense, I know, but bear with me. A life with happiness, and joy, and...Stuckeyville.
This town is amazing.
Me and Vaughn...MICHAEL! Sorry, it seriously will take a lot of adjusting. Okay, so me and Michael have basically been scoping out the town. Walking around, checking out the stores and everything.
Now we're in the park. Just walking around...sitting on the benches and watching the birds...talking...
It's amazing how much you can learn about someone by talking about the most pointless and useless things.
"How can that be your favorite movie?!" He asks incredulously, holding his temples in mock frustration.
"It just is!" I reply laughing like a little schoolgirl. This feels nice. No, this feels like everything I have ever wanted and all the best moments of my life balled into one giant amalgamated mass of savory goodness.
See? I'm so ecstatic that I'm rambling incessantly and making no sense.
I love making no sense.
"Okay, out of all the amazing movies that have come out over the years...The Matrix, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Godfather, Shawshank Redemption, Schindler's List, Citizen Kane, Memento, The Usual Suspects, Taxi Driver, Fight Club, LA Confidential, Raging Bull, Harold and Maude, Saving Private Ryan, Almost Famous..."
"Okay, okay! I get the point! Geez!" I smack his hands, where he keeps counting the movies he's listing. He laughs. He's really getting a kick out of this...
"But 'Kate and Leopold'?!" He asked with his face all scrunched up. Now he's really exasperated; his hands are running through his hair and he looks exausted.
"What??" I ask raising my arms in the air with a huge smile on my face. "It was a good movie!"
"You've got to be kidding me. It's about a freakin GAP IN TIME by the BROOKLYN BRIDGE. A romantic comedy based on a TIME PORTAL."
"See! You've obviously seen it so it can't be that bad!" I laugh, pointing a finger in his face. He rolls his eyes, and pushes my finger away from his face.
"Hey, I was forced to go against my will." He leans back on the bench and lets his arms rest on the back of it.
"But you still saw it," I say scooting backwards.
"It was horrible. Period." He says shaking he head.
"Favorite song?" I ask, turning to him.
"Oh man, that's really tough. I never understood the concept of coming up with your favorite song. There are just too many out there."
"Okay, fine, top five."
He rolls his eyes. He is so incredibly sexy in that cute adorable teddy bear kind of way.
Mental note: Look into making life size Michael Vaughn teddy bears/action figures/Ken dolls. They'd sell like hotcakes. HOTCAKES.
"Okay, this is just off the top of my head..." This is the ultimate test! Let's see if he's been worth all of this heartache and pain and everything else...
"Jeff Buckey, Lover You Should Have Come Over."
"Excellent choice!" And it is. He was defintely worth it all. Either way, you know he was, but this makes him even more worth it all. Jeff Buckley?! Even, this man's taste in music is sexy.
"U2, One. Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run. The Smiths, How Soon Is Now. Oasis, Don't Look Back In Anger."
"Brilliant. That's all I can say. They are exquisite choices. You pass."
"So there's a test to winning your affections, huh?" he asks as I sit back and rest my head on his arm.
Seriously, how did this happen to me?!
I don't think I've ever felt as much joy as I feel right now. This man is incredible. And I'm just sitting here. With him. It just feels so ordinary.
But still incredibly unordinary.
His arm is sliding down, around my shoulder, and he's pulling me closer to him. Somehow my head nestles itself in the crook of his neck. I take a deep breathe of his aftershave, and sigh contently.
"What did we do to deserve this? How did this happen? How did we go from Agent Sydney Bristow and Agent Michael Vaughn to just Sydney and Michael?"
I can't possibly convey the combination of confusion and utter happiness I feel right now. Everything is just so jumbled and overwhelming. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
"Shhh," he says, resting his head on top of mine. "Let's save all the real thinking til we're back in LA."
"But it just doesn't make sense...How my horrible failure could lead to something so...amazing. And if we both wanted this so badly, why didn't we just do it sooner? Why couldn't we just have screwed the consequences and--"
"Shhh," he says again, resting his finger on my lips this time.
hominahominahominahominahominahominahominahominahomina
My eyes are closing and I feel his finger drop from my lips as his face comes closer...
Closer...
"Hey, Mike!"
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
I'm still in a daze, but I can definitely see Michael shaking his head, and turning around to greet Ed.
Damn this Ed Stevens! He has the absolute worst timing ever on the face of this Earth. EVER!
Michael gets up to shake hands and talk. I hear bits and pieces...
Sorry...Interrupt...Dinner...Goat...Carol
But everything really zones out as I begin to replay the last two minutes over and over again in my mind.
Mmmmmm, he smelled manly.
And I thought I was a bumbling idiot before. I better get myself together and get up...
"You up for dinner at the Smiling Goat with the gang?" Ed asks me, clearly amused by my state of emotional disarray. And horniness, but he can't see that.
"Yeah, for sure!" I say cheerfully. Damn I'm good. No one can hide their emotions better than this one, dammit! NO ONE!
"Great," he says, sticking some papers into his shoulder bag, "I have to head back to the house and change, but everyone'll be there by the time you get there. I already told Mikey here where it is, so I'll see you guys in a little while!"
"Thanks man, we'll see ya there," Michael says, nodding in his direction.
"Yeah," Ed replies, grinning like a fool and winking so incredibly conspicuously at Michael. He might as well scream, "you're so gonna get laid, MAN!"
Because he is of course.
Unless he doesn't want to.
In which case, he still will.
I turn back to Michael and rest my hand on his upper arm.
"So..." I say slowly letting my hand travel up towards his face. Clearly implying that we should pick up where we left off. Yes, I'm a big fan of stating the obvious. He just laughs.
"Why am I so incredibly funny to you?" I ask, laughing also. I told you, his really is contagious.
"Syd, the moment's gone. Gone." He jokes, shaking his head in mock sadness, as he wrapped his arm around my waist.
I just roll my eyes and sigh tiredly.
"I just thought, what the Hell, I might as well try."
"And I applaud your efforts," he says, practically beaming as we make our way up the hill and towards The Smiling Goat.
It's been one day. And we have atleast thirty one to go.
That's all I'm going to say.
One. Freakin. Day.
Atleast. Thirty. One. To. Go.
Yeah, all the drama of that last line is gone. But it's not my fault! I literally and figuratively am walking off into the sunset with the man of my dreams. And it feels damn good.
END CHAPTER SIX
