Chapter Seven - Ain't it the Life?

Aint it the life?
Got no crime.
Just sail on by,
Sail on by.

"Ain't it the Life," Foo Fighters


[Vaughn's POV]

I don't know how it got to be like this. I don't know what I did to deserve it. Sure, I've done good things in my life, but none of them warrant this. I'm really not worthy of the intense joy that I'm currently feeling, and I most definitely don't deserve the girl who has her fingers entwined in mine right now.

Life isn't supposed to turn out like this. In the real world, the guy and the girl don't just end up together, despite all obstacles, and live their life happily ever after.

So clearly, I'm in a fairy tale.

Where restaurants are named The Smiling Goat. Where lawyers own and work out of bowling alleys. Where, opposed to popular belief, money does grow on trees...

...And, most importantly, where the guy always gets the girl.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks, reminding me once again, that I'm actually not in a dream and this is really happening. Okay, it could still be a dream, but...

"This," I reply grinning. I seriously sound so dopey it's sick. She looks up at me as we stop in front of The Smiling Goat.

"It's pretty nice, isn't it?" She's so incredibly stunning when she doesn't have a care in the world.

"Nice? Nice is the Mets getting to .500. This right here? This is the Kings winning the Stanley Cup." I know, it's sad that the only way I can convey my emotions adequately is through sports analogies. Man, now that I think of it, I definitely should have just kept that one inside the head. I have to regulate my thoughts more carefully in this place. Clearly I'm taking in an unhealthy quantity of natural high inducing joy, which has rendered my judgement useless.

She laughs as she walks through the door. I follow her with the goofy grin still stapled to my face.

Yeah, definitely have to regulate the facial expressions too.

"The Mets, huh? I never knew you were a fan."

There's a lot you don't know about me, Sydney Bristow. And yes, I do mean Bristow, not Hanton.

"What can I say, I've always been one for the underdogs. And after four years at Columbia plus my CST -- the Mets just won me over."

"So Columbia, huh?" She asks, as we make our way towards the table across the room. "You'll definitely have to fill me in on what College-Michael was like..."

I laugh. Yeah, right. There's not a snowman's chance in Hell that I'm going to tell her any of my stories from college. She might as well turn me over to the enemy so I can endure years and years of torture because I'm never letting any of those memories out of my conscience.

"Uh-huh, sure."

"What?" She asks with an evil glint in her eye. "Is there something you're hiding about your past, Michael?"

"Nothing you need to know." I say quickly.

"You know I'll find out, right?"

"Yeah."

She will and there's not a doubt in my mind. I mean, with Ed around, she'll probably find out more than I ever wanted her to know in just five minutes with that guy.

"Just wanted to make sure," she says turning her head towards me briefly.

"Hey guys!"

I look up to see Nancy, Molly, Carol and Mike, sitting around a fairly large round table. We make our way towards it, but there's definitely something fishy up. Mike just seems normal, but Molly and Nancy look way too excited. I'm actually a little frightened as to what they might have in mind...

Then there's Carol. If I wasn't madly in love with Syd, and Ed with Carol, I'd so be in love with her. She's smart and funny and absolutely gorgeous...She's basically the high school prom queen who actually bothers to give dorks like me and Ed the time of day and just happens to be the nicest person you'll ever meet. And yes, I say this based on the hour or so I met her and the weeks worth of hours Ed has spent talking about her to me.

But as I said before, she's certainly no Sydney Bristow.

"Hey," I reply, greeting the gang. I pull a seat out for Sydney, then take my jacket off before sitting down in my own. I know, I'm quite the gentleman aren't I? At some point you just realize, it definitely is the small things that matter. Atleast to women. And yeah, awesome move on my part...Sydney's smiling and I could have sworn Nancy and Molly and Carol just giggled. I'm definitely feeling like I'm in ninth grade again.

"So what have you guys been up to during your first official day in our very own Stuckeyville?" Carol asks.

I reach my arm toward's Sydney and let it rest on the back of her chair.

"Well, I don't know...what have we been up to, Syd?" She tilts her head towards me with a spirited expresson on her face, then shakes her head and turns to the girls and Mike.

"You know what? We actually didn't really do anything. We kind of scoped out the town, walked around a little, but that was about it."

Yeah, that and talk about every possible thing we could ever think of. I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed that. I've never been able to just talk to Syd. About things that every normal couple talks and jokes about. Favorite movie, favorite song, favorite food, first memory, first kiss...

It takes all of my power to tear my eyes away from Sydney and look back at the rest of the guys. I nod in agreement as I pick up a menu.

"Well that's good," Molly replies with a devilish grin.

I swear I feel like a teenage boy having a secret relationship behind his mother's back. But really, why is Molly so interested in me and Syd?!

"So what did you guys think?" Nancy asks, genuinely interested.

"Well, it's not anything like LA, and trust me, that's a good thing," Syd responds with a laugh. That tone in her voice is surely something new. I don't think I've ever heard it before actually. The closest I got to it was during our tour of the town, but even then she seemed more quiet and...intimate, I guess. But now it's like she's known these people for years. It's amazing. She's amazing.

"You know, I've never actually been to LA," Carol piped in, "what's it like over there?"

"Besides obscene amounts of traffic?" It's lame, I know, but I got a laugh out of Syd and that's all that matters. And don't even mention the possibility of it being a sympathy laugh. The peanut gallery over there seems pretty amused too, but I have a creepy feeling that they have a secret obsession with me and Sydney. Freaky.

Syd shakes her head and nudges me.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about..."

"Says the woman who jogs to work and never has to worry about getting through morning and evening rush hour." I've always dreamed about what it would feel like to just spend time with her, like this, just having fun and hanging out with friends. It's better than I ever could have imagined.

"Alright, alright," she concedes with a smile.

"Jogs to work? How can you jog to work?" Mike asks suddenly interested. I turn to Syd and raise my eyebrows, wondering if it would be alright to fill them in. She shrugs her shoulders then speaks up.

"It's complicated." She says, shaking her head.

Everything's complicated when it comes to us and I've learned to deal with it. But when we're here it's different. When she says something is complicated, they don't respond with "How so?" and they don't get suspicious. They just accept it and move on. Because that's how things are here.

Mike nods his head, understanding what she means. It's nice to know that they understand when not to overstep their boundries. They are certainly our friends, and we're willing to tell them more about ourselves, but this isn't the time or place. And that's cool with them.

"Okay, so back to LA. We've got traffic and lots of it. What else?" Carol asks excitedly.

"Carol, you do realize you're a full grown woman and could very well just go to LA and find out for yourself, right?" Molly retorts.

"Shut up, Molly," Carol responds.

Syd grins and shakes her head.

"What?" Carol asks, also smiling.

"I know this will sound crazy," Syd starts, as she places her menu on the table. Nothing she could ever say would sound crazy. Nothing. "But you remind me so much of this friend I had in middle school. Cindy Wallace."

"Really? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Carol responds jokingly.

"Oh no! Definitely a good thing! We were the best of friends, seriously. But then she moved away in the eigth grade and I never talked to her again...So it's actually kinda cool to meet someone so similar to her."

Carol just smiles warmly at Syd. Yeah, I have a feeling these two will turn out to be quite the pair. It really is incredible to see Syd so at ease with her though. With them all, actually, but more so with Carol. I'm so used to seeing her with her guard up at all times, so it's all just a little strange. In a good way of course.

"But yeah, in LA the weather is always great," I add in, "and coming from the northeast I can really appreciate it."

"And the beaches are incredible." Syd notes.

Mmmm, beaches. Mental image of Syd relaxing on a beach in a sky blue bikini. Reading Emma for the thousanth time, just enjoying the warm breeze against her skin. I sit down beside her, and she puts her book down, takes her sunglasses and sun hat off. She rests her head in the crook of my neck and we just sit there and watch the sunset before us. Treasuring the normalcy of it all.

Kinda like now...

Except replace the whole beach, book reading, Syd in a bikini and sunset thing to all of us sitting here on a pretty cold night in February with Syd wearing some sort of dark and light blue rugby shirt thing with dark jeans. Jeans that hug her hips perfectly. But then again, she could be wearing massive sweatpants and a smelly old t-shirt and I'd still think she was hot. But that's just me...

Suddenly the ring of my cell brings me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry about this guys," I say, pressing the "call" button. I can see the nervousness in Syd's eyes as I begin to push out of the table. She grips my wrist, signalling that she wants me to stay.

"Vau--Hello?" Just one slip up and I get the death stare from Sydney. Like any of the people here care who I am, let alone know what my cover is! Everyone at the table is pretending to be looking intently at their menus, but the girls are sneaking glaces up whenever they can. Little do they know, I've caught on to their strange game.

"You go whisk her off to some little town and you don't even bother to inform me as to whether you've gotten there safely and haven't been captured, or pehaps killed on your way east?"

Weiss. Exactly who I wanted to talk to.

"Nice to hear from you, too, Weiss." I reply sarcastically. With the sound of his name, Syd's head snaps up, causing the rest of the table's to also. I shoot a glace to their side of the table and they bury their heads in their menus once again.

"Seriously, man, do you know how worried I've been about you guys?"

"You're really exaggerating this, and you know it. It's not a big deal." And I'm so right. It's not like our lives really were in immediate danger. We were ordered to leave because of the threat. There's a huge difference between threat and definate possibility.

"Well, I know, but I expected to atleast get a call or something. I was hurt."

"Yeah. And I'm sure you used that 'hurt' as some sort of justification to hit the local bar and pick up a girl or two, right?"

"Of course, of course." He laughs. What a drama queen. Or king rather. Hell, he's a drama royal court.

"Really, though, what's up?" I ask in a hushed tone. These prying eyes and ears are becoming a little suspicious.

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you two were okay, that's all."

"Oh. Well, yeah, we're both fine. We're staying at Ed's place for now, until we deal with the whole housing issue. Which, by the way, would involve us getting an approximate time span for our time here..." Translation: How's the capture of SD-6 coming along?

"As of now, im thinking a month to two months."

"Two months?!" I exclaim. Yeah, too loud. I get another look from Syd, and probably from most of the people in the restaurant but I don't bother to look up. Somehow my free hand has made it's way to my temple and is rubbing it furiously. "What the Hell happened?!" I whisper harshly.

"Relax, man. Devlin and Jack just decided that it would be best to regain the trust of the employees of SD-6. It would make it easier to bring about their ultimate downfall, and apparently, is the only way we can really approach this. And I know you really aren't angry, because there's not a doubt in my mind that you aren't living up your time alone with Sydney."

"Well, maybe I am but that's beside the point. What's going to happen now?" There it is again. That paradoxical combination of emotions I feel whenever it comes down to this issue. I can't help but be ecstatic at the possibility of spending the next two months in this town with Sydney, but what about my friends and family? What about her friends and family?

"Basically, we've got a lot of things going on. I can't really fill you in on them now, because a lot is still in the works and a lot is still classified. But I'll keep in touch with you, and you me, and I'll keep you updated. Until then, I've got the spare key to your place, but how often should I feed Donovan?"

"Twice a day. You know where the food is, right?" Now I'm rubbing my forehead, and using every ounce of my being to keep my eyes away from Syd. I don't know how she's going to respond to this, but I have a feeling she might just be happy. Or extremely angry. She does tend to be a person of extremes...

"Yeah, man. I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing. Just remember to keep in touch, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." I respond. "And keep me informed if anything changes, alright?"

"You got it. See ya."

"Bye."

Just as I hang up the phone, Ed walks toward the table.

"Hey!" He says excitedly. How this man manages to stay so chipper all the time, I'll never know.

I glance over at Syd, who clearly curious as to what I discussed with Weiss. I give her a 'Hold on' look then smile up at Ed.

"Hey! Nice of you to finally show up. Weiss just called actually, you missed him by like two seconds." I try to change the subject, by talking about the very subject I was trying to change, I know. Smooth move, Mike.

"Ah, Weiss?! It's literally been ages since I've seen that guy. What was he calling about?" Ed asks as he settles down in the seat beside Carol.

"Well, I guess it seems like we may be here longer than we expected..." I say, trailing off as my eyes wander towards Syd's. She shoots me a concerned look, but Ed interrupts.

"So we'll have to figure out what your living situation is going to be."

I turn back towards Ed and shake my head.

"Who's Weiss?" Mike asks with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Aw, is Mike jealous that someone's actually taken the spotlight away from him in Eddie's eyes?" Nancy asks, nudging Mike.

"No, I'm not jealous," Mike replies stubbornly. "Okay, maybe a little..."

"Don't worry, Mike, you'll always be the only guy for me." Ed jokes in a high pitched tone.

See, normally I would have gotten a hearty laugh out of all of this. Hearty, indeed. But the mixture of confusion, anger, and joy in Syd's eyes is just too much for me to ignore.

"Hey, Syd, do you think I can talk to you for a second?" I whisper, leaning closer to her. She nods her head almost imperceptively and begins to pull out of the table. I follow her lead and excuse ourselves.

"We'll be right back, guys," I say as I stand up.

I don't bother to listen to their response or even pay attention to how they may be reacting to our sudden exit. In all honesty, I don't really care. All I care about right now is her.

As we make our way to an empty corner of the restaurant, I grab her hand and lead her outside instead. It's better safe than sorry, I think.

The cold air hits my face suddenly, and I turn to her.

"Two months max," I say simply. In all likelyhood, it won't even take that long anyway.

"What does this mean, Michael? Is everything alright?" She asks, shivering slightly in the cold. I just want to wrap my arms around her and forget about why we're here and just enjoy the fact that we are here at all. Together. But I can't.

And when did I become so sappy?

"Syd, there's no reason to be worried. they don't want to rush it and you know your dad is the only one who can really get this done. Everything will be fine, I was just a little suprised and that's why I reacted like I did. But Weiss assured me, everything really will be alright.

I must say, she doesn't look very comforted. In fact, I think she's on the verge of tears. No, wait, she's definitely past the verge.

I move towards her and wrap my arms around her shaking body. I'm whispering something in her ear, but I don't know what. I stroke the back of her head softly and am flooded with countless memories of doing this same exact thing...in warehouses, headquarters...

She says something against my shirt, but I can't make out what. I lift her head from my chest and urge her to speak with my eyes.

"I'm a horrible person," she breathes as she looks away, her face wet with fresh tears.

I reach up and wipe the tears from her face, letting my hand linger over her soft skin.

"Sydney you are the most selfless, courageous, fearless, caring--"

"No, Michael," she whispers desperately. She lets her head rest on her palm for a moment before she turns back up towards me. "You know what was the first thing I thought when I heard your cell ring? I thought, 'Please, God, make something have gone wrong so I can stay here longer with him.' That's what I thought."

I'm somewhat blown away by her words. Mainly because it's an indirect declaration of love. She's here bearing her heart and soul to me, her innermost feelings, and I'm on cloud nine thinking "She likes me too?!" What's your problem?

I definitely understand her though, especially seeing that I felt the same way. Overwhelming guilt and just plain disgust at my behavior. At my thougts. At myself.

"Syd, I know--" She cuts me off quickly.

"No. You don't. I was praying with all my being that I coul djust stay herer and leave my life behind. And the scariest thing was that my wish came through. My selfish wish came true, Michael."

Suddenly it hits me. She's not disgusted with herself. She isn't plagued by her mayrter-like guilt -- she is utterly terrified of her own happiness. Of actually getting what she wants, for once.

"I hate myself. I HATE MYSELF." She moans passionately.

Wow, Syd's got the whole drama queen act down, too. Her and Weiss should form some sort of acting company or something.

"Okay, I know what your problem is," I say, sitting down on the curbside. As much as I love Syd, her mood swings really are a bitch.

"What?" She asks confused as she sits down beside me.

"Sometimes..." I start, staring out at the closed bakery across the street. The same one we got coffee at this morning. No, I have to approach this in a different way. "Okay, say there's this kid."

"What does a kid have to do with this?" She asks, now staring at the stars.

"Just bear with me here. Say there's a kid and he learns how to ride his bike and he absolutely loves it. He never falls and he just has a great time."

"A kid who loves to ride his bike, got it."

"So he goes out one day and he falls. He falls twice actually and gets hurt pretty bad. No really bad. Let's say he breaks his arm. So after awhile, he gets better, gets the cast off, and gets back on his bike for the first time since the accident. And you know what happens?"

"He falls again," Syd answers, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Exactly. And see, he keeps trying a couple more times, but he just can't get it again. He loses all his confidence in himself and just keeps falling. So after awhile, he throws his bike away. Because, even though he loves the feeling he gets when he rides down the street, the fear of falling and getting hurt yet another time is too much for him to handle."

I feel Syd take in a deep breath and release it into my shirt.

"So one day his parents pull the bike back out," I continue, "and attatch some training wheels to it. They make him practice riding in their driveway everyday. But only in the driveway because they know he's not ready for the big hill that waits for him down the streeet. Atleast not yet. Do you see where I'm going with this, Syd?"

I feel her nod, and the weight of her head on my shoulder is suddenly gone.

"Michael Saunders is your training wheels, Syd, and Stuckeyville is your driveway. There's no need to be guilty or angry at yourself for feeling what you're feeling, because you have absolutely no control over this, as much as you'd hate to admit it. And I know you're scared, Syd. I know you're scared of being happy and living a life you actually enjoy. But you need to overcome that fear. Rebuild your confidence, and this is your only chance. You're not alone in this, Syd, I'll always be here for you."

Holy sh-t. How did I do that? What did I say? Damn, I wish I recorded it. T'was beautiful. Words of wisdom from the master. Thank you, thank you. No, no encores today, I'm sorry...

I turn my head towards hers and we're inches apart. I let my thumb graze her cheekbone and the last thing I see is her hands coming towards my face. My eyes close as he hands pull my face towards hers and everything suddenly explodes.

Her lips meet mine and everything disappears for what feels like an eternity. Her arms are wrapped around my neck tightly and I feel her hand rest on the top of my head. Somehow, my hands find her hair and are lost in a sea of softness.

Speak from no coherent life uh-huh what can't crazy do huh whoa skin huge colors

bang pow boom

SHAWING!

Can't. Breathe. Must. Pull away. But can't. Stop. Must. Breathe...

We pull away slowly in desperate need of air. Her forehead rests on mine as we frantically take in as much oxygen as we possibly can.

inoutinoutinoutinoutinoutinout

Wow. Wowzers. Wowie wow wow-wow.

That's all I can say. That and that it was everything I imagined and more. I slowly stand up and reach a hand out towards her. She grips it and I pull her up with a jolt. I wrap my arm around her waste as we walk back into the restaurant.

"I think I'm finally ready to practice tonight," she whispers seductively.

What do I have to say about all of this?

Mikey's gonna get ridden! Mikey's gonna get ridden!

END CHAPTER SEVEN