A Mother's Gift 4: The Pledge
Minas Tirith late summer 2988
Finduilas sat in her bed, watched Finwë hop about in his cage, and waited for Denethor. She remembered when she first saw him as a tall man in his prime with raven-black hair. He seemed so strong and self-assured then and he knew just how to flatter her. He had been such a loving father to Boromir and so happy when she again became pregnant and gave her that beautiful cloak she so prized as a gift. These thoughts made her even angrier and more disappointed that he had failed her and their sons now when they needed him the most.
When a chastened Denethor entered her room she spoke in a tone as sharp as daggers and said, "I understand that you have something to say to me, my lord. I will hear you but do be brief and expect no soft reply."
In a faltering voice he said, "Fin, I can offer no apology great enough for what I did. I don't know why Faramir makes me so angry. When I look at him, it is as if I don't see him. I only have these dark thoughts running through my mind about what an unworthy son he is. I feel as if I am not myself when that happens. I know I should have been thinking of you and showing kindness toward both the boys."
Finduilas' features and voice did not betray any softening, she gathered words like daggers of ice and said, "It is you, my lord, who are an unworthy father. Faramir is a loving child and Boromir, who is the light of your eyes, loves his little brother. If you continue to mistreat Fari, how long do you think it will be before you lose Boromir's affection? Boromir is a child and more forgiving than I am but even his love can be lost."
In a ragged, defeated voice the Steward said, "I realize that, Fin. I never meant..."
She interrupted him sharply and said, "You never meant what, my lord? You never meant to strike a five-year-old child? You never meant to bring further troubles on your ill wife? Tell me what you never meant!"
He ran his hand through dark hair elegantly streaked with silver and said, "I never meant any of that, Fin. I promise..."
Finduilas laughed bitterly and snapped, "Promise me nothing, my lord! I will not rely on your promises. I know I do not need your oath to assure me you will be kind to Boromir. I will not trust my little Fari to your word. He will go to Dol Amroth. My brother. Imrahil and his wife Idril will care for him."
In a faltering voice Denethor said, "I vow, Finduilas, that I will strive to be a good father to both my sons and will not harm Fari if he does return to Minas Tirith. I will accede to your wishes."
Finduilas was only slightly mollified and said, "Those are fine but useless words. I will ask one small thing of you, Denethor. Give Faramir my cloak to remember me by. You can manage that, can't you?"
Denethor bowed his head and said, "I will do as you wish, Finduilas. May I ask one thing of you? Let me continue to visit this room until the end. I love you, Fin."
Finduilas softened to a small degree and said, "You may. I am tired now, Denethor. You may leave. Send my brother back in."
Denethor, with sunken shoulders and a bowed head, slowly left the room. Finduilas closed her eyes and rested until, some time later. She heard her brother enter the room. He had both her sons with him.
Imrahil smiled sadly and said, "Look what I found, Finduilas. They were not in the garden, after all. I believe they heard everything."
She sighed and said, "Come here, my loves."
The boys remained silent and went to sit on her bed.
She spoke first to Boromir and said, "My valiant little son, I know you would protect Fari but you shouldn't have to. I am very loath to separate you but think how good Uncle Imrahil is. He will not mind you visiting from time to time and will provide a safe place for Faramir. You are all your father cares for in the world. He will need you. You will promise me to always be a good brother and son and to protect those weaker than you?"
Tears glistened in the ten-year-old's eyes and he replied, "I will, mother. I swear it."
She turned to her younger child and said, "Will you promise me the same, Fari? Also, tell me that you will never feel inferior to anyone and know your own worth."
A tearful Faramir replied, "I promise."
She hugged them together and said, "I love you both, never forget that."
After she spoke those words, all the strength seemed to drain out of her and she felt an intense pain. She saw a look of alarm on Imrahil's eyes and said, "My brother, I am sorry I will never see your little son Elphir or my own boys grow up. Watch over them for me. Now, I need to rest."
The man and two boys left the room and let Finduilas sleep. The last image to flicker in her mind before blackness took her was Faramir as a grown man gently placing her cloak around the shoulders of a sad, golden-haired girl.
Several hours later, when the healer came with medicine, he found her still and serene as if she had been sleeping but he knew immediately she was gone.
To be continued...
Minas Tirith late summer 2988
Finduilas sat in her bed, watched Finwë hop about in his cage, and waited for Denethor. She remembered when she first saw him as a tall man in his prime with raven-black hair. He seemed so strong and self-assured then and he knew just how to flatter her. He had been such a loving father to Boromir and so happy when she again became pregnant and gave her that beautiful cloak she so prized as a gift. These thoughts made her even angrier and more disappointed that he had failed her and their sons now when they needed him the most.
When a chastened Denethor entered her room she spoke in a tone as sharp as daggers and said, "I understand that you have something to say to me, my lord. I will hear you but do be brief and expect no soft reply."
In a faltering voice he said, "Fin, I can offer no apology great enough for what I did. I don't know why Faramir makes me so angry. When I look at him, it is as if I don't see him. I only have these dark thoughts running through my mind about what an unworthy son he is. I feel as if I am not myself when that happens. I know I should have been thinking of you and showing kindness toward both the boys."
Finduilas' features and voice did not betray any softening, she gathered words like daggers of ice and said, "It is you, my lord, who are an unworthy father. Faramir is a loving child and Boromir, who is the light of your eyes, loves his little brother. If you continue to mistreat Fari, how long do you think it will be before you lose Boromir's affection? Boromir is a child and more forgiving than I am but even his love can be lost."
In a ragged, defeated voice the Steward said, "I realize that, Fin. I never meant..."
She interrupted him sharply and said, "You never meant what, my lord? You never meant to strike a five-year-old child? You never meant to bring further troubles on your ill wife? Tell me what you never meant!"
He ran his hand through dark hair elegantly streaked with silver and said, "I never meant any of that, Fin. I promise..."
Finduilas laughed bitterly and snapped, "Promise me nothing, my lord! I will not rely on your promises. I know I do not need your oath to assure me you will be kind to Boromir. I will not trust my little Fari to your word. He will go to Dol Amroth. My brother. Imrahil and his wife Idril will care for him."
In a faltering voice Denethor said, "I vow, Finduilas, that I will strive to be a good father to both my sons and will not harm Fari if he does return to Minas Tirith. I will accede to your wishes."
Finduilas was only slightly mollified and said, "Those are fine but useless words. I will ask one small thing of you, Denethor. Give Faramir my cloak to remember me by. You can manage that, can't you?"
Denethor bowed his head and said, "I will do as you wish, Finduilas. May I ask one thing of you? Let me continue to visit this room until the end. I love you, Fin."
Finduilas softened to a small degree and said, "You may. I am tired now, Denethor. You may leave. Send my brother back in."
Denethor, with sunken shoulders and a bowed head, slowly left the room. Finduilas closed her eyes and rested until, some time later. She heard her brother enter the room. He had both her sons with him.
Imrahil smiled sadly and said, "Look what I found, Finduilas. They were not in the garden, after all. I believe they heard everything."
She sighed and said, "Come here, my loves."
The boys remained silent and went to sit on her bed.
She spoke first to Boromir and said, "My valiant little son, I know you would protect Fari but you shouldn't have to. I am very loath to separate you but think how good Uncle Imrahil is. He will not mind you visiting from time to time and will provide a safe place for Faramir. You are all your father cares for in the world. He will need you. You will promise me to always be a good brother and son and to protect those weaker than you?"
Tears glistened in the ten-year-old's eyes and he replied, "I will, mother. I swear it."
She turned to her younger child and said, "Will you promise me the same, Fari? Also, tell me that you will never feel inferior to anyone and know your own worth."
A tearful Faramir replied, "I promise."
She hugged them together and said, "I love you both, never forget that."
After she spoke those words, all the strength seemed to drain out of her and she felt an intense pain. She saw a look of alarm on Imrahil's eyes and said, "My brother, I am sorry I will never see your little son Elphir or my own boys grow up. Watch over them for me. Now, I need to rest."
The man and two boys left the room and let Finduilas sleep. The last image to flicker in her mind before blackness took her was Faramir as a grown man gently placing her cloak around the shoulders of a sad, golden-haired girl.
Several hours later, when the healer came with medicine, he found her still and serene as if she had been sleeping but he knew immediately she was gone.
To be continued...
