Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. This is just a silly piece of humor that wrote itself one day.

    A Look Inside Himura Kenshin's Head:

   *Kaoru is in the dojo, practicing alone with her bokken. Kenshin is watching from outside, elbow deep in a laundry bucket*

  Rurouni: Miss Kaoru has excellent form, that she does. She is very graceful when she practices.

  Battousai: Heh. I think you mean AN excellent form. Look at the way that gi clings to her. Remember that time she wore one of ours?

  Rurouni: It is not very polite to think such things of Miss Kaoru, that it is not.

  Battousai: Hey. You still haven't cleaned that particular gi. And look at all that time you spend cleaning her kimonos….

  Rurouni: *in dazed tone* ….and what's under…. *snaps back to attention* No! I refuse to think such hentai thoughts about Miss Kaoru, that I very much do!

  Battousai: Mmm. Just look at that little body. Tomoe was taller. Had more of a bust, too. But then Kaoru does practice kenjutsu, and you know they say about those active girls….

    Rurouni:  *chanting* I will not think these thoughts. I will not think these thoughts. I will not…

    Battousai: *laugh* But you are. I know about that fantasy of yours—ours--- with that cherry sauce, your gi, and the laundry bucket…..

   Rurouni: *blushing madly*  You---you helped!

   Battousai: *growllike purr* I most certainly did. Who was it you think that pleased Tomoe…? Me. And who do you think will love on Kaoru when that sexy vixen is finally ours?

    Rurouni: Ororororororo! Miss Kaoru is too young, that she most certainly is! And I am to stained, that I am.

   Battousai: WE'RE gonna be too OLD if you don't get our head out of our ass. We're what, 30 now? I want to be able to pass on the family name, if you know what I mean.

   Rurouni: He does have a point, that he does… NO! Miss Kaoru is too innocent!

    Battousai: So what? We've been married before…. *growllike purr*

    *Kaoru steps outside*

Kaoru: Kenshin? Are you all right? You've been washing that same hakama for 15 minutes now.

Kenshin: *squeak* Oro?   Sessha is fine, de gozaru, Kaoru-dono. Sessha is going to go take a bath, de gozaru.

  A very COLD bath, that I am….

*****

A/N: I realize that I have switched back and forth between Kenshin's "de gozaru"s and the "that I am"s of the dub. I used each where they would best convey the humor of the scene as I thought best.

~Trickster~