Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. This is just a silly piece of humor that wrote itself one day.
A Look Inside Himura Kenshin's Head:
*Kaoru is in the dojo, practicing alone with her bokken. Kenshin is watching from outside, elbow deep in a laundry bucket*
Rurouni: Miss Kaoru has excellent form, that she does. She is very graceful when she practices.
Battousai: Heh. I think you mean AN excellent form. Look at the way that gi clings to her. Remember that time she wore one of ours?
Rurouni: It is not very polite to think such things of Miss Kaoru, that it is not.
Battousai: Hey. You still haven't cleaned that particular gi. And look at all that time you spend cleaning her kimonos….
Rurouni: *in dazed
tone* ….and what's under…. *snaps back to attention* No! I refuse to think such
hentai thoughts about Miss Kaoru, that I very much do!
Battousai: Mmm. Just look at that little body. Tomoe was taller. Had more of a bust, too. But then Kaoru does practice kenjutsu, and you know they say about those active girls….
Rurouni: *chanting* I will not think these thoughts. I will not think these thoughts. I will not…
Battousai: *laugh* But you are. I know about that fantasy of yours—ours--- with that cherry sauce, your gi, and the laundry bucket…..
Rurouni: *blushing madly* You---you helped!
Battousai: *growllike purr* I most certainly did. Who was it you think that pleased Tomoe…? Me. And who do you think will love on Kaoru when that sexy vixen is finally ours?
Rurouni: Ororororororo! Miss Kaoru is too young, that she most certainly is! And I am to stained, that I am.
Battousai: WE'RE gonna be too OLD if you don't get our head out of our ass. We're what, 30 now? I want to be able to pass on the family name, if you know what I mean.
Rurouni: He does have a point, that he does… NO! Miss Kaoru is too innocent!
Battousai: So what? We've been married before…. *growllike purr*
*Kaoru steps outside*
Kaoru: Kenshin? Are you all right? You've been washing that same hakama for 15 minutes now.
Kenshin: *squeak* Oro? Sessha is fine, de gozaru, Kaoru-dono. Sessha is going to go take a bath, de gozaru.
A very COLD bath, that I am….
*****
A/N: I realize that I have switched back and forth between Kenshin's "de gozaru"s and the "that I am"s of the dub. I used each where they would best convey the humor of the scene as I thought best.
~Trickster~
