Black Phoenix: It's now really Commercial Day!

All: Yay!

Black Phoenix: First up is...Paul, Heihachi, and Kazuya with Super Glue Hair Gel! Roll the film! *screen*

#Super Glue Hair Gel#

Kazuya: Is your hair down and unfashionable?

Paul: (in his Tekken 4 costume) Yes.

Kazuya: Do people make fun of you because of your hairstyle?

Paul & Heihachi: Yes.

Kazuya: Then try Super Glue Hair Gel! Your new hairstyle will "stick" to you everywhere you go!

Paul: Wow! It's amazing! But my hands are stuck on my head...

Kazuya: *pats Paul of the back* Good for you!

Heihachi: HEY! I thought you said this was Rogaine!!! There's NO HAIR GROWING!!! *with his hands stuck to his shiny, bald dome* I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

Kazuya: *snickers* Buy Super Glue Hair Gel! It'll really "stick" to ya! HAHAHA! *puts hand on forehead* Hahaha...WHAT THE HELL?!?! MY F****** HAND'S STUCK TO MY HEAD!!!

~Super Glue Hair Gel~

Xiaoyu: HAHA!! Next, we have erm...*reads notecards* Jin, Hwoarang, and Mokujin with Mokujin Donuts...

Toxin Blackheart: Black Phoenix and I wrote the script AND did the vocal version!!!

Black Phoenix and Toxin Blackheart: YAY!

Black Phoenix: They filmed the commercial at home...and we had to do a few cuts, since the script was soooo long...ROLL FILM! *screen*

#Mokujin Donuts#

Jin and Hwoarang are watching Linkin Park's "In The End" music video.

Hwoarang: # It starts with one thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter haow hard you've tried...# Jin, this is great! Pass the donuts!

Jin: There's only one left...

Hwoarang: Then GIMME!

Jin: MINE!

Hwoarang: NO!

They fight over the donut until it lands on the windowsill...

Jin: Look! The donut!

Hwoarang: THAT'S MINE!!

A pigeon flies over to the windowsill and takes the donut

Hwoarang: NOOOOO!!!

Jin: The...last...DONUT!!

Both: NOOO!!!

*knock, knock*

Bryan: Donuts! I'm here to deliver a dozen fresh Mokujin Donuts and...AH! What the hell! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR SO YOU CAN GET YOUR DAMN DONUTS!!

Jin: Yay!

Hwoarang: *opens the door* ::gasp::

Bryan: yeah yeah, a free Mokujin dummy for every dozen you buy...

Hwoarang: That's not it...

Jin: You're wearing a delivery boy uniform!

Both: HAHAHA!

Bryan: What the hell...HAHAHAHA!

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

~Mokujin Donuts...The fresh donut...~

Black Phoenix: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Xiaoyu: Alrighty then...next is...Anna, Lei, and Steve for Don't Pick Up Hitch Hikers...ROLL FILM!

#Public Warning#

Lei: (dressed in a police officer uniform) Young adults...and adults...are getting robbed, hurt, abducted, and broke. You know why? It's because of hitch hikers. Yes, SLUTTY hitch hikers. Let's see what would happen to young Steve here.

Steve: *walks in with a cardboard car* Beep, beep. Hello, there!

Anna: Hello! May a have a ride in your hot wheels?

Steve: Of course! Hop in! *Anna slips under the cardboard car* And away we go!

Lei: Tsk, tsk. This is what happened to poor Steve AFTER he had picked up Anna.

Steve: LOOK! The Dixie plate on my car is GONE! See?! * fake gasp* MY MONEY!!!

Lei: See? Now this is what happens if Steve DIDN'T pick up Anna.

Anna: Hello there!

Steve: *walks in with a cardboard car, with a new plate glued on err...wheel* Get lost, whore! I don't want sluts in MY ride! *runs, err...SPEEDS away*

Anna: Well I never!

Lei: God one, Steve! Because of that move, he's a top Middleweight boxer and famous rich guy! He even got laid by Xiaoyu! See kids, follow Steve's example.

Steve, Lei, Anna: DON'T PICK UP HITCH HIKERS!

Steve: Except if it's a certain Chinese girl named Ling Xiaoyu! *wink, wink*

Lei: STEVE! *smacks Steve on the back of the head*

~Don't Pick Up Hitch Hikers...especially slutty ones...~

All: HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAA!

Xiaoyu: Good one, Steve!

Black Phoenix: Yeah! Nice car, by the way!

Steve: Thanks!

Black Phoenix: Next, Ganryu, Michelle, Christie, and Eddy with Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program! ROLL FILM!!!

#Want to lose weight?#

Michelle: Wanna lose weight, and fast? Well, come on down to the Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program! Here, we have a dance program if you want to lose weight with style! Our dance teachers, Christie Monteiro and Eddy Gordo!

Eddy: Now SPIIINN!! Then Kick, kick, spin, spin, spin some more, and SPIIIINNNN!!!!

Christie: Work it, people!

Eddy: Ganryu! No squishing people!

Michelle: Here we have one of our members, Ganryu!

Ganryu, Eddy, and Christie walk over to Michelle

Michelle: Of course, we also have...ACUPUNCTURE!

Christie: Needles are ready!

Michelle: Great! Now try it out on one of the fat people over there.

Christie: Okay! *goes to a fat person and pokes her with the needle*

Lady: *gasp* I'm skinny! That needle released the air from my body! Thank you, Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program!

Michelle: See? Lose weight in SECONDS! Now, I shall poke Ganryu with this needle!

Ganryu: It won't hurt, right?

Michelle: Not a bit! *pokes Ganryu with the needle* *air escaping* See? It really works!

Christie: But not in the way we wanted...

Ganryu: *fart, fart, FAAAARRRRTTTT!!!!*

All: *gasp, faint*

Ganryu; It really does work!

~Fat-Ass-Zilla Weight Loss/Acupuncture Program~

Xiaoyu: That smells...

Black Phoenix: Literally!

Both: HAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Black Phoenix: Anyway, next is Lee! Wai! Go for it! ROLL FILM!!

#Honda, Supra#

Lee: You know what, Violet? * runs to other side and changes into Violet costume*

Violet: What Lee? *changes again*

Lee: I like the Honda Civic. *changes*

Violet: But I like the Supra! *changes*

Lee: They're both good cars...*changes*

Violet: FOR CHAMPIONS!! *changes*

Lee: Yeah! With Four wheel drive and-*faints from exhaustion*

~The cars for chamions...and rich people who could afford them...~

Black Phoenix: Poor Lee...HAH! I GOT A SUPRA!!!

Xiaoyu: That's very nice...*gasp* I'm next! We're doing this one live! Later! *runs backstage*

Black Phoenix: Okay! This one is Jun, Julia, Xiaoyu, Panda, and a short appearance of Forest Law! Their commercial is called "Save the Forest". HIT IT!!!

~Save our world's last forests~

Julia: Hello, I'm Julia Chang. Our forests are disappearing, so please, do YOUR part and save the forest.

Forest Law: Hello!

Julia: Not that Forest! The WORLD'S forest!

Jun: *picks up trash and puts them into Tetsujin* My personal Trash Can!

Xiaoyu: *rides on Panda* And save the animals!

Julia: Most importantly, my village!

All: So save the forest!

Forest Law: But not me!

All: Right!

~Save the trees. Wipe your ass with an owl.~

Jun: KAZUYA!

~Save the forest, but not Forest Law.~

Jun: Thank you!

Black Phoenix: Interesting...Next we have Marshall Law, Forest Law, and Kuma in Sweet Ham Salmon. ROLL FILM!

~Marshall China~

Marshall: For my seafood dishes, I need the freshest seafood! For the fresh fish, I rely on the best! I rely on Sweet Ham Salmon for the freshest, best tasting fish! It's so fresh, it came right out of a river!

Kuma: *scoops up a salmon from a river*

Forest: MY FIIIISH!!!

Kuma: Raw! Rawr Ragh!

Forest: No, MY FISH!

Forest and Kuma fight for the fish. Finally...

Forest: Look! Panda!

Kuma: Raa?

Forest: *kicks Kuma in the...manhood area...

Kuma: RAAAAAWWWW!!!

Forest: My fish!

Marshall: See? Only the freshest fish for my restaurant!

~Sweet Ham Salmon. The freshest as fresh could get!~

Black Phoenix: Azn-Ac liked that one, I know!

Xiaoyu: Yay! Kuma got what was coming to him! Next is Bryan, Gun Jack, and Combot! BATTLEBOTS! ROLL FILM!

~The wait is over...~

Announcer: SPECIAL EDITION BATTLEBOTS! We have Combot, Bryan Fury, and Gun Jack from the Iron Fist Tournament in our BATTLEBOTS ARENA!!! Fans will cheer at the hair metal sounds of the fight music! They will WAIL at the destruction of these beings of mass...destruction!

Bryan, Gun Jack, and Combot are all fighting each other

Announcer: Who will win? Tune in to Comedy Central for Special Edition BattleBots!

~You ready?~

All: *silence*

Xiaoyu: OOOOKAAAYYY...Last one will be better than that, I hope...It's King and Armor King with the "Special" Orphanage...

~They need a home...~

King: Hola. I'm King.

Armor King: And I'm Armor King.

King: They need a home...

Armor King: Yes...please give these, "special" children a home...

A kid with a thumb on his forehead appears

King: If you or anyone you know has a mutated child, please, send them in to the Umbrella BIOHAZARD!!! orphanage. They need a proper home.

Soon, little mutated kids gather round

Armor King: They need a home...so send them here!

~Umbrella BIOHAZARD!!! orphanage...for them...~

Black Phoenix: How sappy...Now, readers, this is where you get to vote for your best commercial! The winning commercial will...well, something good will happen! 'Till next time...

Xiaoyu and Black Phoenix: Ja ne!