Jubilee gripped her glass hard, hoping that the warm contents would kick her off to unconsciousness soon, and then all would be well. Wolvie could carry her up to her room, and she wouldn't have to look at Him again for the entire night.
'Helluva nerve he's got, showin' up here when no one wants him around.' She narrowed her eyes bitterly, the tears welling in her throat.
"You okay, kiddo?"
She glanced up. Rogue stood next to her chair, eyes shone in concern.
"I will be, just as soon as the liquor kicks in." Jubilee sighed, letting her eyes slide closed.
"I didn't know they were serving you Alcohol, Jube."
"Neither did they."
She heard Rogue chuckle and sigh.
"You gunna get to bed?"
"Not until I'm forced unwillingly into the blackness."
She was silent a moment. "Okay." She relented, walking away. "I'll see you later?"
"Only when your love slave is carting me off to my room."
Soon, there was silence around her; well, If you didn't count the sound of a New Years Eve Party, and the severing sound of Remy Lebeau's voice. Jubilee felt her mind slip into memories of giggling long into late nights and waking in a haze of red wine, being silent and secret, being held.
Jubilee pushed back to the surface, pouring more of the strong drink down her throat. He was glancing over to her-Correction, IT was glancing over to her every once in a while. She looked away, directing her attention to Hank, who sat in the corner reading. After a few moments of her unwavering gaze, he looked up.
"Ah, evening Jubilee." He smiled that ceaselessly warm smile and set aside his thick book. "How are you holding up?"
"Ugh, don't ask." She held up her glass, moving over to sit with him.
He sighed softly, taking the glass from her. He took a sip and quickly handed it back. "Strong, isn't it?"
"Yeah, you think that." She smiled at him, undeniably composed; The drink wasn't helping her. "I'm going to turn in early."
"You're sure?"
"Positive. I can't stick around here no more tonight." She sighed.
"All right, then." He nodded. "Goodnight, Jubilee."
"Night, Hank. Happy New Year." She patted his cheek as she passed, pausing only to lean down and give him a gentle kiss. "See you in the morning."
"Mmhmm." He took her glass and watched her walk off.
She arrived in her room, shedding her jeans and artfully slipping her bra out from under her warm shirt, burrowing under her numerous blankets and into her pillows.
"I wish New Years never had to come." She whispered, pulling her legs close to her body and curling her hands into the cuffs of her shirtsleeves. She reveled in the cool topsheets against her skin.
Jubilee didn't know exactly when she fell asleep, but she dreamt of all the things that had gone wrong between them. She'd seen all the fighting between Him and Logan, and all the tension among the two of them in the end. She could still hear him say that he was leaving; so cold and heartless as it was. She could feel Hank holding her and while she cried, and hear Rogue compromising Remy's organs again and again in her head. She remembered feeling fibers splintering and fraying in her chest and burying into her stomach, and wondering just what was happening. That had been before she realized that it was only her heart breaking.
She burrowed back under the covers, fighting the hot tears. She wouldn't waste another breath of sorrow over him.
"Petite?"
She choked hastily. His voice, cutting through her silence. She hated the sound of it, the way it shattered her nerves.
"Go away." She said hotly, peeking over the mound of blankets. He certainly looked sorry, but she had been determined to ignore him. He stood at the foot of her bed with his shimmering eyes fixed on her, his long hair pulled out of his face under a bandana. The look of him made her shiver in reminiscence of how right her body felt with his.
"I know I hurt you, Jubilee-"
"No, you didn't, really. I mean, it only hurts when I'm breathing." She spat, turning away from the edge of her bed as he moved to kneel next to her.
"Please, Petite. Don't do this."
"Don't do what? Mourn my trust?" She sat up, her face hot with anger and tears. "I begged you to stay, Remy. I was on my knees when you told me you were leaving. Hank held me while I cried when I couldn't move. Logan Promised me that he would stay when you wanted nothing to do with me. Rogue took me to the doctor when I-" She shut her mouth suddenly, her face dissolving into shame.
"What?" He asked gently, reaching for her hand.
"No." She pulled away, staring at her bed for a moment. "No. You aren't going to do this. Get out."
"Petite, listen to me." He reached for her hands again, climbing onto the bed when she moved away.
"Remy, no." She scooted further away.
Jubilee cried out as Remy lay a hand on her forearm, all her anger and shame becoming pain. She doubled over against her bed when he released her.
"Please get out, Remy." She said softly, her throat swelling around the words.
"Why did you go to the doctor, Jubilee? Why did Rogue have to take you?" He asked after a moment of silence, gently pressing his fingers against the apple of her cheek.
Finally, Jubilee pulled back her shirtsleeve and revealed a few dark, yellowing bruises.
"Rogue took me to the docter after she found out that I'd spent hours beating myself." She looked down at her hands. "Just to make sure I hadn't damaged anything by hitting the same places over and over again."
Remy pulled back her covers, visibly shrinking back at the fading bruises on her thighs. He looked up into her face, his eyes shaky.
"Mon Petite, I am so sorry."
"Don't think that it was just you-you're not that special." She smiled bitterly. "I was under a lot of stress to ace my senior finals, and you left and pretty much took little rootlets of my heart with you, and...I just couldn't take it laying down, you know?" She finally looked up at him, her face cross. "I almost forgot-you don't stick around long enough to get hurt."
"You're right, Jubilee. I don't." He looked ashamed. "I'm scared of it." He caught Jubilee's eyes, and the lost look inside her pupils. "You scared me, Chere; all that love and fire inside you-you had a man's heart on the run. I didn't want to hurt you."
"Nice play, Shakespeare."
"Do you know why I came back?" He asked, tipping her face up with wary fingertips. She reluctantly looked into his eyes.
"To see if there was anymore of my heart to feast on?"
"My my, Cherie. You do get angry."
"I do get hurt." She whispered.
"I came back because I saw something last night that made me feel like a fool for leaving, for ever thinking that my staying could hurt you." Remy took one of her tensed hands. "I found that there was a light snow falling into the streets of New Orleans. Now, I don't think that has ever happened before in my lifetime, petite, and that in itself is pretty special. But even more is that where I stood, some holiday lights hit the snowflakes just right, making those tiny crystals look like sparking lights; all in red and blue and yellow."
"And?" Her voice and body softened.
"And I realized that I Love You, and nothing will change that. No amount of runnin', or hidin' from it, no amount of tryin' to kill it."
"Trying?"
Remy leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss upon her forehead, just as the clock struck midnight. He brushed her dark hair away and flattened a tear under his thumb.
"I'm sorry Jubilee. I know you'll never forgive me for what I've done, but I want you to know that I thought it would save you; even if it destroyed me." He said, stroking her hand. He stood and opened her door to leave.
"Remy?"
He turned back. Jubilee looked up at him with raw cheeks, her eyes bloodshot. She stood up, the covers drifting off her body as she walked toward him.
"Yes, Mon petite. I am at your service."
Jubilee pressed herself into his arms, her heart shaking inside of her. She felt safer, more sane, with his arms around her, her face buried in his sweater.
"Don't Leave Me."
'Helluva nerve he's got, showin' up here when no one wants him around.' She narrowed her eyes bitterly, the tears welling in her throat.
"You okay, kiddo?"
She glanced up. Rogue stood next to her chair, eyes shone in concern.
"I will be, just as soon as the liquor kicks in." Jubilee sighed, letting her eyes slide closed.
"I didn't know they were serving you Alcohol, Jube."
"Neither did they."
She heard Rogue chuckle and sigh.
"You gunna get to bed?"
"Not until I'm forced unwillingly into the blackness."
She was silent a moment. "Okay." She relented, walking away. "I'll see you later?"
"Only when your love slave is carting me off to my room."
Soon, there was silence around her; well, If you didn't count the sound of a New Years Eve Party, and the severing sound of Remy Lebeau's voice. Jubilee felt her mind slip into memories of giggling long into late nights and waking in a haze of red wine, being silent and secret, being held.
Jubilee pushed back to the surface, pouring more of the strong drink down her throat. He was glancing over to her-Correction, IT was glancing over to her every once in a while. She looked away, directing her attention to Hank, who sat in the corner reading. After a few moments of her unwavering gaze, he looked up.
"Ah, evening Jubilee." He smiled that ceaselessly warm smile and set aside his thick book. "How are you holding up?"
"Ugh, don't ask." She held up her glass, moving over to sit with him.
He sighed softly, taking the glass from her. He took a sip and quickly handed it back. "Strong, isn't it?"
"Yeah, you think that." She smiled at him, undeniably composed; The drink wasn't helping her. "I'm going to turn in early."
"You're sure?"
"Positive. I can't stick around here no more tonight." She sighed.
"All right, then." He nodded. "Goodnight, Jubilee."
"Night, Hank. Happy New Year." She patted his cheek as she passed, pausing only to lean down and give him a gentle kiss. "See you in the morning."
"Mmhmm." He took her glass and watched her walk off.
She arrived in her room, shedding her jeans and artfully slipping her bra out from under her warm shirt, burrowing under her numerous blankets and into her pillows.
"I wish New Years never had to come." She whispered, pulling her legs close to her body and curling her hands into the cuffs of her shirtsleeves. She reveled in the cool topsheets against her skin.
Jubilee didn't know exactly when she fell asleep, but she dreamt of all the things that had gone wrong between them. She'd seen all the fighting between Him and Logan, and all the tension among the two of them in the end. She could still hear him say that he was leaving; so cold and heartless as it was. She could feel Hank holding her and while she cried, and hear Rogue compromising Remy's organs again and again in her head. She remembered feeling fibers splintering and fraying in her chest and burying into her stomach, and wondering just what was happening. That had been before she realized that it was only her heart breaking.
She burrowed back under the covers, fighting the hot tears. She wouldn't waste another breath of sorrow over him.
"Petite?"
She choked hastily. His voice, cutting through her silence. She hated the sound of it, the way it shattered her nerves.
"Go away." She said hotly, peeking over the mound of blankets. He certainly looked sorry, but she had been determined to ignore him. He stood at the foot of her bed with his shimmering eyes fixed on her, his long hair pulled out of his face under a bandana. The look of him made her shiver in reminiscence of how right her body felt with his.
"I know I hurt you, Jubilee-"
"No, you didn't, really. I mean, it only hurts when I'm breathing." She spat, turning away from the edge of her bed as he moved to kneel next to her.
"Please, Petite. Don't do this."
"Don't do what? Mourn my trust?" She sat up, her face hot with anger and tears. "I begged you to stay, Remy. I was on my knees when you told me you were leaving. Hank held me while I cried when I couldn't move. Logan Promised me that he would stay when you wanted nothing to do with me. Rogue took me to the doctor when I-" She shut her mouth suddenly, her face dissolving into shame.
"What?" He asked gently, reaching for her hand.
"No." She pulled away, staring at her bed for a moment. "No. You aren't going to do this. Get out."
"Petite, listen to me." He reached for her hands again, climbing onto the bed when she moved away.
"Remy, no." She scooted further away.
Jubilee cried out as Remy lay a hand on her forearm, all her anger and shame becoming pain. She doubled over against her bed when he released her.
"Please get out, Remy." She said softly, her throat swelling around the words.
"Why did you go to the doctor, Jubilee? Why did Rogue have to take you?" He asked after a moment of silence, gently pressing his fingers against the apple of her cheek.
Finally, Jubilee pulled back her shirtsleeve and revealed a few dark, yellowing bruises.
"Rogue took me to the docter after she found out that I'd spent hours beating myself." She looked down at her hands. "Just to make sure I hadn't damaged anything by hitting the same places over and over again."
Remy pulled back her covers, visibly shrinking back at the fading bruises on her thighs. He looked up into her face, his eyes shaky.
"Mon Petite, I am so sorry."
"Don't think that it was just you-you're not that special." She smiled bitterly. "I was under a lot of stress to ace my senior finals, and you left and pretty much took little rootlets of my heart with you, and...I just couldn't take it laying down, you know?" She finally looked up at him, her face cross. "I almost forgot-you don't stick around long enough to get hurt."
"You're right, Jubilee. I don't." He looked ashamed. "I'm scared of it." He caught Jubilee's eyes, and the lost look inside her pupils. "You scared me, Chere; all that love and fire inside you-you had a man's heart on the run. I didn't want to hurt you."
"Nice play, Shakespeare."
"Do you know why I came back?" He asked, tipping her face up with wary fingertips. She reluctantly looked into his eyes.
"To see if there was anymore of my heart to feast on?"
"My my, Cherie. You do get angry."
"I do get hurt." She whispered.
"I came back because I saw something last night that made me feel like a fool for leaving, for ever thinking that my staying could hurt you." Remy took one of her tensed hands. "I found that there was a light snow falling into the streets of New Orleans. Now, I don't think that has ever happened before in my lifetime, petite, and that in itself is pretty special. But even more is that where I stood, some holiday lights hit the snowflakes just right, making those tiny crystals look like sparking lights; all in red and blue and yellow."
"And?" Her voice and body softened.
"And I realized that I Love You, and nothing will change that. No amount of runnin', or hidin' from it, no amount of tryin' to kill it."
"Trying?"
Remy leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss upon her forehead, just as the clock struck midnight. He brushed her dark hair away and flattened a tear under his thumb.
"I'm sorry Jubilee. I know you'll never forgive me for what I've done, but I want you to know that I thought it would save you; even if it destroyed me." He said, stroking her hand. He stood and opened her door to leave.
"Remy?"
He turned back. Jubilee looked up at him with raw cheeks, her eyes bloodshot. She stood up, the covers drifting off her body as she walked toward him.
"Yes, Mon petite. I am at your service."
Jubilee pressed herself into his arms, her heart shaking inside of her. She felt safer, more sane, with his arms around her, her face buried in his sweater.
"Don't Leave Me."
