*Waves to the angry readers who were waiting on this chapter* Hi guys!

Do you know how long it takes me to get an idea that I like! Heavens to Bitsy! This one took forever. And the added fact that my computer crashed didn't help too much. I am going to start workin' on a new Chirstmas fic after this chapter, so updates'll be slower.

Disclaimer: Turn around, and go back to where you came from! I don't own DBZ! Go bother that person!

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SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com

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Hello everyone, it's Bulma this time. I know, I'm hearing you guys want to know about Veggie and my absurd kicks this time around... I suppose after reading about my son, my daughter, and Videl's problems, you guys can't wait to read about the shit Vegeta pulled. I guess you guys deserve that. It's nothing too special I warn you, the famous Prince of the Saiya-jins had more will power than I thought originally.

But Vegeta always was a strong willed person. He never believed in female dominance, and as you could only imagine, the whole idea of him not getting his way didn't blow over too well. But it was only fair, because he'd used the Saiya-jin dynasty and their customs under my nose for the longest time....

Alas! I have finally found the key! The ticket! I always knew those Saiya-jin women had to be smarter than we gave them credit for! They kept our men in order for a good long time. Never has there been such intelligence in a culture! I mean, who needs electricity when you can control a whole damned race of egotistical maniacs?

I know you guys came here to find some huge amount of humor, as I said also, and I am impressed with the results so far. I never thought I'd see the day when all our big strong men would be reduced to nothing!

There are many things a Saiya-jin new to the Earthian area must learn. One of the more memorable moments was when dear Veggie learned about pigeons. A poor little birdie took a poo on his head, the man hasn't been the same since. The first month scared me most of all, because the man sat out front with a little ball of ki in hand, just waiting.

At least I haven't seen a pigeon since!

Life moves on, but Vegeta does not. The pigeon thing was shortly before Trunks' time, and to this day his dad still hangs around. ChiChi says Saiya-jins always come home when they're hungry, and that's probably right. Veggie could be gone all day...

Oh good Dende! I'm going wayyy off track here aren't I?! I'm so sorry. You guys don't want to know about Vegeta's new life on Earth, you just wants the dirt on Vegeta's reactions in this first month of our three month detachment. He didn't really do anything too bad. I know, you guys are probably sitting there getting mad because I'm rambling on and on... but.... ya know...

The day starts out on an interesting note. Vegeta had been doing nothing but sulking around doing nothing the past few days, so I picked him up, and took him shopping. No, I mean it. I seriously picked him up. It was like an adrenaline rush or something.

Vegeta's attitude changed, but only slightly. It magically transformed itself from cocky and self-absorbed to cranky and whiney. His feet hurt, the annoying talking humans were giving him a headache... wahhh waaahhh!

ChiChi never showed up to join us, so I had to go on with our ritual magazine review. You know, find a new study, test it, compare our results. Last time, it'd been a study on a recipe that vowed anyone who ate it would hate the taste forever. ChiChi managed to prove this test wrong. However, the food did turn out to be fatal fertilizer.

This time the survey was rather interesting... I read it to myself slowly, grinned, and leaned in to Vegeta to ask him his answer to the question. His face dropped as the words left my mouth, and for once, our Saiya-jin Prince was at a lost for words. He blinked a few times, mumbling as he thought as fast as his tiny brain would let him, "I - I.... I really - really wouldn't know the answer to that question...."

"Okay," I replied, opening up my cell phone. My fingers quickly pressed the buttons as I dialed my son's number. He'd know the answer to this question! He had to! "Hello?" I said calmly, not letting him notice my curiosity. Trunks answered respectively, wanting to know what I wanted. I whispered my question in the phone, then paused for him to respond. He seemed to be thinking for a long while, and for some time I wondered if he'd even heard what I had asked. In came in due time though:

"MOTHER! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT THEY DO THAT?! I CERTAINLY DON'T! I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY JUST SO YOU COULD ASK ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

A string of curses ensued.

I eventually hung up on my son, not really caring how angry he was about me asking him such things. But I had to know. I suppose I may have left Vegeta behind when I went out on my search. Or maybe he didn't feel welcome, because after I asked one or two other guys I noticed he was no longer behind me.

"Sir, can I ask you a personal question?" I started, slyly unbuttoning the top few buttons of my blouse, leaning in closer, with a sweet smile. When I heard no grunt behind me, I sat back in shock. The poor old man I'd been talking with (who I secretly think was Roshi in disguise) fell face first onto me, though I fail to see how it was an accident.

I quickly set out on a quest to find my mate of choice, fearing that he would have to be taken to the emergency room for lack of sharing his opinion. It didn't take me long to find Veggie though. He was standing outside an expensive bra and underwear shop, with tears in his eyes.

I assumed, at first, that my poor Veggie missed such clothing, and was beginning to fear that he'd never see such things again. I walked up and patted him on the back, as if I, a mere mortal, could comfort that big bag of.... something or other.

"It's okay," I foolishly told him, thinking it would matter to him. He was a pitiful sight, and I only meant good. "Three months'll be over before you know it! You should know how the opening ceremony goes.... a little party... a little drink... a little-"

"That's not why I'm here woman," he replied coldly, holding a sentimental hand to the glass of the store, "I'm here because they want me."

I stared at him for a moment. Want him? Why would they want someone as cold, cruel, and cold hearted as Veggie be wanted. Dende, even I thought I was out of my mind in having anything to do with him! But they- they-.... wait a second- Who the hell are these people anyway?

"Ummm, Veggie dear?" I asked ever so calmly. I blinked up at him innocently, seeing as I'm made a fool out of myself many times today, and I wanted to clear any future offences. "Who exactly," I began, smiling this time, "wants you?"

"These people," he informed me, with a stupid, Goku-like smile, "they want me to model for their magazine! Aren't you happy for me?!"

I blinked for a moment. Vegeta.... a model.... If there'd been a window I'd have checked for flying pigs! Why? To this moment I still ask you- Why Vegeta. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought of such rational things at that time. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT VEGETA?!"

I dropped my magazine on the floor. Angry I was, angry as a math teacher who's student had to go to the bathroom in the middle of class. Vegeta was bewildered by my actions, I think he figured I'd happy for him or something. I wasn't. Angry. I was just angry. Vegeta watched me storm out of the mall, frowning as I left. He turned his head to the side to read the article I was checking out, 'Men wear Briefs to Support their.... Fact or Fiction?'

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My son and his wife came over to my house the next morning, to find me angrily beating up some poor bird in the kitchen, and my husband going gah-gah over some fashion magazine, daydreaming about how he was going to be famous. Even more famous than his son. Ha, that'd be the day. I can see the headlines now, 'Hottie Corporate President's Father Steams His Way Onto The Fashion Scene!' The very thought makes me want to vomit. Vegeta is MINE! And no nose-picking, book coloring, groupies are going to be standing out on my lawn at five in the morning! My husband was going to know my feelings for this. I would HARM him if he went after this career. I would... I would... I would send Goku after him!

And that, is that.

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Okay everyone who's mad at me now. You have to understand that after we go through every character's problem, they'll start to blend together and be a little more humorous. If think chapter wasn't funny enough, come back for the next one. Goku tries to use a vacuum!

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SSJ2Inochi@dbzmail.com